Why? Oh why did this have to happen to ME? –part 14

Jagbsjhdbjhsbjdbkjs… sorry about that I'm just too excited. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before but this chapter is the reason why this story exists. This scene is what made me fall in love with Remus and Emily. I hope all of you love Remus and Emily as much as I do. Okay, I tried really hard to make this the best of the best. Oh and I'm sorry the last chapter wasn't so great. I just hope this makes up for it. So please Enjoy!

Oh and special thanks to…

Weirdgirlwithwings- I'm glad you liked it. It wasn't one of my best but I was just too excited to write this chapter to focus on the last.

Charlie300895 -Well happy b-layeded birthday to you. I'm sorry the last chapter was so crapy I just hope this makes up for it.

Kaighla -I am convinced I love your review. Oh um I never mentioned this but my original Emily wasn't supposed to be so obsessed with food. That's actually my trait but oh well everyone seems to like her like that so I'm glad it worked out.

Echo Uchiha -Well to answer the being banned from the net lets just say my time is being counted for. As for your Hermione and Draco fic I wonder what you planned to do with it. Oh are you going add like a love triangle sort of thing. Or do you plan on doing something along the lines of what James, Lily and Snape had.

DaRk-AnGeL2596 – Thank you for saying that you liked the last chapter even though I know it's crapy.

InsignificantBlimp – I did I'm so glad you're back. Love it the whole bus thing is a nice touch.

Let the story begin :)

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There was an old saying or rather rule…

The rule states that a monster cannot love

(Whisper)

I am the exception…

But for every broken rule there is a punishment…

Emily's POV

It was already January and my hanging doubt had yet to go away. It was still nagging me how every month Remus and the rest would just go off and disappear. He had even done so during Christmas break. At first he would tell me some excuse before leaving but now he didn't even bother. At first I had tried hard to brush it off but it just kept nagging me.

I hadn't even noticed that it had been consuming my every thought; until Lily had to stop me from running into a wall. It seemed that it was just getting worse and it wasn't going to go away anytime soon. At first I just tried to ignore my thoughts, it seemed like it might work. That was until I was confronted by Lucious.

Actually no, scratch that, it started with Narcissa first.

I was on my way to meet the rest. James wanted us to meet up; it most likely had something to do with a new prank. Like always I had forgotten that there was a change of plans because they had to leave again. I ended up wandering the corridors with nothing better to do. I couldn't go to Lily since she had gotten sick with the flue. That left me alone and bored not to mention hungry. That's when she came to me. I was there eating some cream puffs under a tree when she found me.

"Haha," it was Narcissa and she seemed to be laughing to herself. Okay I know there are a lot of people who are a bit crazy. I should know since I'm one of those people but who in their right mind comes up to someone only to laugh to themselves.

"Um do you want a cream puff?" I figured maybe the heat had gotten to her.

"Do you know why I'm laughing?" Was that supposed to be a trick question?

"Cuz you want a cream puff?"

"No you imbecile. I laugh because I find you amusing."

"Okay…Look if you don't want a cream puff then what do you want?"

"I can see why he keeps you." I was confused who keeps who?

"Huh?" She gave me a nasty look saying that I was getting on her nerves. Someone obviously has issues. She gave me a sneering look before explaining.

"I'm talking about Lupin."

"What about Remus?"

"You really are an idiot. I find it amusing how his supposed girlfriend seems to be always alone."

"I'm not his supposed girlfriend. I am his girlfriend."

"You keep telling yourself that. If he really cared about you he wouldn't be cheating on you now would he."

"What are you talking about? Remus would never do that. If you want to keep talking nonsense then do it somewhere else."

"You don't believe."

"No," I didn't even have to think about it. How dare she talk about him like that. It doesn't matter because I trust Remus. So I don't care what she has to say. I placed my hands over my ears when she continued talking. I know it's childish but I had accidentally eaten too many cream puffs and now I couldn't get up. Otherwise I would have walked away or at least waddled away. Stupid cream puffs and their fluffy center I shouldn't have eaten so many.

"Stop being so childish."

"Never! Go away!"

"I'll leave only if you can answer one question."

"Okay I'm listening but you have to keep your promise and go away." She rolled her eyes before opening her mouth to speak.

"Fine if you're so called boyfriend isn't cheating on you then where does he go every month?" I felt my breath hitch I had wanted to forget but she had brought it up again. I couldn't answer when I didn't even know the answer myself.

"You don't know do you. *Hmpf* you see what I mean. Even if he weren't cheating on you, he's still keeping something hidden. If he trusted you then he would have told you. I guess you're not as important as you think you are." She left after that. I was too depressed to move. Even though I knew better than to listen to anything she said it still hurt. It hurt because her words had logic behind them. If Remus did care about me or at least trust me then he would have told me.

After that confrontation I tried to stay far away from her. I trusted Remus and that's all that mattered I don't care what anybody says. I love him and he loves me that's more than enough. For awhile I had been able to convince myself of that. I had gone back to being my old self it was a good thing I did because Remus had begun to take notice. Lately he had so worried about me that he almost forgot about his school work. I couldn't let it affect him so for him I smiled.

It had been fine but a week after meeting Narcissa I met up with Lucious. I would like to say that it was a meeting in which we settled our differences but it wasn't like that.

"Thompson, you shouldn't be here." I looked around and realized that he was right. I had gotten lost again this was not good. This had to be the third time this week, this was really getting irritating.

"You're right sorry I got lost." Just as I was about to turn back and leave I find him blocking my way. "Um did you need something?"

"I was just wondering."

"About what?"

"I'm curious if you know the reason as to why Lupin leaves every month. Have you figured it out yet?"

Not this again I didn't want to have this discussion. Why couldn't they just leave me alone? I had made up my mind a long time ago.

"I don't know what you're talking about and to be honest I don't want to know."

"You still haven't figured it out. You really are an idiot."

"Okay that's it I'm tired of everyone calling me an idiot. So what if I haven't figured it out I'll find out when Remus wants me to find out. Now can you please leave me alone?"

"Wait what if I told you that I knew what it was that he has been hiding? What if I told you that what he is hiding is something horrible? I wonder how you would react."

I have had enough. All they were doing is making me upset. I don't care what they thought they knew. The only one I could ever trust is Remus.

"I don't want to know and to be frank I don't think you know either." Just when he opened his mouth to argue I cut him off. "Look I don't care what it is that he's hiding. All I know is that I trust him. If he hasn't told me then he must have his reasons. I won't decide anything until I hear the whole story from his lips. Whatever it is I can wait. I don't care about what anybody else says. So don't waste your breath because I won't listen."

I didn't wait for him to respond. I simply left in the direction of the great hall.

It was the day for the Hogsmead trip but again the Marauders had left. I tried not to miss Remus but every time I saw people playing with the snow it reminded me of him. They had left in the afternoon in such a hurry that they even forgot to say good-bye. I tried not to let it bother me but I couldn't help it.

Eventually I wondered off in the direction of the shrieking shack. I even remembered a time in which I wanted to explore it. Now it just seemed like any other place. Just when I was planning on turning around to head back I see a figure. For a second it looked like Sirius had come out but that couldn't be right. The Marauders had left but if it's not them then who else? Just when I thinking that it was probably all in my head and that I should just head back. I end up catching sight of Peter.

Okay now I know I'm not imagining things. What were they doing there to begin with? Whatever it is its most likely connected to what they've been doing every month. By the time that our group headed back towards Hogwarts it was time for dinner. What I wanted to do was just act like I hadn't seen anything. To just go back to my room and forget the whole thing but my curiosity wouldn't let me.

It reminded me of something they had told me a few weeks ago. They had told me that there were secret passageways. They had gone on to explain how the Marauders map worked but they had warned me from a certain passage. They said it was too dangerous and to stay away but that wasn't the passageway I was thinking about. They had shown me a way to get into Hogsmead through the Zonko's Joke shop. At this point it was my safest way to go.

I needed to find out what was going on. It was this nagging feeling that was making me do this. Too much time had passed and the feeling just wouldn't go away. I needed to do something. A part of me new that I shouldn't but a bigger part of me just wouldn't let it go. I just couldn't understand why they would lie to me. It just didn't make any sense. Why would they say that they're going home when in fact they are just going into town?

I just had to find out what they were doing. It didn't take long for me to reach the shrieking shack. I had made sure to stay hidden so they wouldn't find out I was coming. I kept telling myself that all I wanted to do was to take a small peak. That it would be enough to satisfy my curiosity. That I would leave before anybody even realized I had left Hogwarts.

The closer I got the more noises I heard. It sounded like people talking it was a good thing that it hadn't gotten dark yet. Otherwise I would have to use my wand. It sounded like the Marauders, the first voice I could make out, sounded a lot like Sirius.

"Is it almost time?" - Sirius

"No its not, now will you stop asking." - Remus

"Relax Moony, you know how I get. It's just been a while since we transformed." – Sirius

"Watch it Padfoot." – James

"What's wrong with being a little anxious?" – Sirius

"Have you forgotten why we even became illegal Animagus." – James

"Sorry Moony I keep forgetting." – Sirius

"Don't worry about it. It's not your fault. I just wish I didn't have to go through this every month." Remus

Their conversation had left me a little shocked. I knew what being an Animagus meant. I just couldn't understand why they would be willing to go through such a risk. Didn't they realize what could happen if they did it the wrong way. There was a reason why it was required for wizards to have supervision while doing so. Since the outcome could be irreversible. They had all become quiet after that and had stayed that way for a while. Just when I thought they might have left I heard them again.

"It's time. Is everyone ready?" –James

"It's about time!" – Sirius

"I guess I'll be leaving first then." Remus

It had gotten completely still I couldn't see anything where I was. The only thing I could do was listen in on the conversation. It sounded like creaking noises. I didn't think much of it but then I could hear screams of pain. I was too shocked to move but the screams had turned into a rougher sound. I couldn't figure out what exactly it was but soon the sound of pounding footsteps on wood could be heard. The doors from the back of the shack had been slammed open and something came running out from it.

After a few moments I could hear smaller steps follow along. Then howling like a wolf could be heard. When I figured that whatever it was had left along with the Marauders, I decided to go inside. The door creaked open as I entered. Every step I took made the sound of creaking wood vibrate throughout the whole shack. At first I wondered if maybe they were hiding somewhere here. After finding that it was completely empty I realized that they had left. I decided to look around to see if there were any clues that could explain what I heard.

I just hoped that they were okay. At the far corner of the room I saw a piano it looked old and un-used. It reminded me of a time my uncle would play the piano for me so that I could forget my fear of thunderstorms. As I passed the piano my eyes caught sight of the window. I could clearly see the full moon. It looked so beautiful but it didn't look I would get to see much of it. The sky was filled with clouds it looked like it I might rain.

"I think I should head back before it starts to rain." As I was about to turn around and leave I hear the doors of the back of the shack slam open. Whoever it was I couldn't let them see me. I ran to hide in one of the closets. I didn't close it completely I was afraid that I might lock myself inside. It wouldn't be the first time it happened to me. The first figure I could see was a big shaggy dog followed by a stag. The next two figures came in the form of a mouse and what looked like to be a wolf.

It had only been one other time that I had encountered a wolf. It was during one of my uncle's travels. That one had been more ferocious and a lot less friendly. From where I was sitting I could see some subtle changes. Wanting to get a closer look I stand closer towards the door. The wolf looked like it was morphing into a shape of a person. That could only mean that the person was suffering from Lycanthropy. I had heard of it before but it was the first time I had come across something like this.

I let out a gasp when I realized that the person who was morphing from a wolf was actually Remus. It had been the wrong move to make because everyone turned in my direction. I was just too shocked to move. It all made sense now why Remus wouldn't say anything. I understood now I just wish he had told me sooner but now it was too late. I was scared of how he would react if he found out I was snooping around. If I would have known I would have never-. It was too late to be thinking about what ifs.

The stag was the first to change back into its original form. It was James.

"Who's there, show yourself."

I was afraid I didn't want Remus to be angry. This was all my fault if I had just forgot about the whole thing I wouldn't be here right now. I could feel tears begin to prickling my eyes. I didn't want to face him. I didn't want to see his disappointed look. It would hurt too much to see but I couldn't choose. Even if I wanted to hide James wouldn't let me. All of them had heard me and now they would see. I'm so sorry Remus I never meant for this to happen.

With those last thoughts James pulled the closet door open.

Remus's POV

This time around it was worse than the others. The clouds were getting in the way of the moon. It just meant that I would be more unbalanced than the other times. I would end up having to morph back and forth without being able to control it. It was a good thing the Marauders were with me they could prevent me from hurting anyone.

After having left the shack for a bit the clouds began to disrupt the moon light. That was when I headed back I couldn't let anyone see me transform back and forth. It was too much of a risk even if everyone was back at Hogwarts. The moment we made it inside I could feel myself begin to morph back I knew it wouldn't last long.

I could smell something like a person. I just hoped that it wasn't otherwise things could get dangerous. I could hear James call out to whoever was nearby. I would have probably been more worried if I wasn't so focused by the pain that was going through my entire body. It felt like my bones were breaking down to go back to their original form. If this kept going I don't know how long I would be able to last.

"Emily?" The moment James said her name I snapped in the direction of the closet. It couldn't be, not her anybody but her. If this was some sick joke that Prongs and Padfoot came up with I will never forgive them. Unfortunately it was her I could see her there standing with her arms wrapped around herself. What hurt the most was seeing the tears in her eyes. This was why I never wanted her to see.

I knew that this would happen. I had hoped that things would be different but they weren't. She was now afraid of me. She had every right to be after all I'm the monster. I had never wanted her to find out this way. I hated this I hated how things had become. I hated how I couldn't be like everyone else. Why did this have to happen to me? I hate what I am.

I could feel the anger consume me. I wanted to save her from feeling sorry for me. I wanted her to realize that she had every right to fear me.

"What are you doing here?" I was angry at myself. I was angry that everything was about to be taken away from me. I didn't miss how she flinched at my question.

"I'm sorry." I could see her tears. I didn't want to hear it. I had heard it from my parents. I didn't want anyone else's sympathy. "I just wanted to see…I-." I had heard enough. I couldn't stand it anymore. I couldn't take it. Having her look sad and scared because of me it hurt.

"Well now you know. Are you happy now?" My voice had come out angry but the anger wasn't directed at her. I could never be angry at her it was me who I was angry at. "This is what I am a monster. I'm not like you I could never be like you." I could see her body begin to tremble as more tears came out.

I could also feel myself begin to morph back I couldn't let her stay. If she stayed she would be in danger. This was why I shouldn't have ever been with her to begin with. I knew this would happen. She needed to leave because if she didn't I don't think I would be able to control myself.

"Remus I-."

"Get out!"

"But I-."

"I said get out!" I didn't see her leave but I heard her retreating footsteps. I know that she would hate me but it was for the best. She deserved better at this point it didn't even matter to me that she could expose my secret. I didn't have time to think about it. The pain was coming again but it didn't compare to what it felt like when I saw the way she looked at me.

Emily's POV

I couldn't stop the tears from falling. This was all my fault if I hadn't been nosing around this would have never happened.

"I'm sorry," I continued to sob. It didn't matter who say me. Nothing mattered now.

"I'm so sorry."

"This is all my fault."

(whimpers)

"Why? Why did I do that?"

…

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Ps: Okay sorry I'm ending the chapter here but um…nope I thought I had a reason but nope I got nothing. Anyways I hope all of you liked the chapter. I'll know if you review. I think I worked on this for like four days straight. I have like 20 rough drafts. This was the best of all my drafts I hope all of you liked it.