Read this - it's important stuff.
OMGIACTUALLYHAVEANUPDATEWTF.
Hey guys! (waves) It's been FOREVER, and I apologize... between working 40 hours a week and doing the whole college thing, I barely have a spare moment to breathe let alone try to pump something out. But, I'm back, and I have good news, and bad news...
The bad news is, this chapter is kind of a filler chapter. I decided to do it this way because with the incredibly depressing next chapter it was important for me to not rush that, and combining this chapter and that chapter would've just been one long horrible mistake. So, I think there are three more chapters after this? Two? I lost count - whatever it was before, tack on one more and we're all set :) (And now that I'm thinking of it, it's DEFINITELY three. I promise)
Well, the GOOD news is, because I already wrote this chapter and half of the next chapter thinking they were going to be as one, the next chapter is already more than half done. So, I promise - it WON'T BE LONG UNTIL THE NEXT ONE. (Assuming anyone wants to subject themselves to reading it)
I'm sure a lot of you will find this boring, but it's a more in depth explanation of the days in between and what's happening to Derek, and is also VERY important to events happening next chapter. So, deal... be bored... send me hate mail, whatever. :)
Quick notes - big thanks to reviewers thus far... thanks for being so patient with me... even though you all know what's up it still means a lot to me that you haven't jumped ship yet :) And also to Railan - when researching Derek's condition I got it off of a medical website, and the 12 L of blood refers to not only his blood but the blood they had to transfuse during the few hours they were in surgery. It bugged me too at first, but then I went "Eh, I guess if they're saying it it must be true..." thanks for the heads up, though :D
IMPORTANT: Virtually anything you read in Italics is Derek and his dad. Remember this, it's important.
Anyway, enough blabbering.
Enjoy!
Seven days.
Seven days and the world's greatest doctor would breathe no more.
Seven days was all that stood between a collection of his greatest friends and loved ones losing their hero – the man who was always gave them hope.
…The man who was supposed to never give up.
It seemed ill-fitting that the one and only patient Derek Stiles ever gave up on was going to be himself, but even in the face of his own death the doctor showed just how selfless of a man he was – how committed he was to putting himself last to focus on the needs of others.
It was that same selfless spirit that landed him in this predicament, as trying to save the woman he loved ended with him clinging to life instead of taking the chance of something happening to her – a risk that for Derek, didn't even take a second thought.
It was that spirit that he and Angie shared and bonded over during the many days and nights they spent working tirelessly without any reward for themselves, knowing that giving up their own lives was necessary because they were all the world had to depend on.
Most importantly, it was the same spirit that Angie had always admired in him – the one that made her push every day to do as much as she could for others, and the one that gave her an unconquerable will when it came to the most important thing she would ever have to do…
Save the life of the man that had saved her – the man she loved and looked up to more than anyone else she had ever known.
Pacing back towards Derek's room, Angie thought of his history of selflessness and scowled at the thought, realizing that he couldn't have picked a worse time to be who he was.
Because when it came down to it, he wasn't being selfless… he was being completely selfish, even so much as thinking of leaving behind the ones who loved him and needed him the most. The ones who would've died without him, the ones who placed their hope for a brighter future in the palm of his hand…
…the ones who would trade anything to see him open his eyes again.
Stopping short in the hallway to collect herself, Angie took a deep breath in and placed her hand on the handle to Derek's room, pushing the door open to reveal a very distraught Mrs. Stiles at her son's beside.
The fingers unconsciously brushing through his brown locks were pulled away and settled in front of her mouth gently, her body beginning to shake without her control. Tears pooled in her eyes as Angie stepped in and closed the door, and with a few successful hobbles on her crutch she managed to wrap her arm around Elizabeth, who simply sank into her embrace – at that moment, Angie was literally all she had.
"It's okay… we have time." was all Angie could bring herself to whisper as Elizabeth pulled herself out of her grasps and stared on at the nurse, tears clouding her vision.
"W-We… what?"
Angie sighed and smiled gently, reaching her hand not holding a crutch up to rub the older woman's arm reassuringly.
"We went in and fought with them, and they gave us some time to see a change before they decide to take him off his support." Angie began to explain, seeing Derek's mother light up slightly at the mention.
"H-How long, Angie?" she asked, eyes hopeful as Angie bit her lip.
"…A week."
And like that the hope dissipated again, leaving Elizabeth ready to cry as she looked back at her son lying in bed, moving instinctively to his side again as her hand grabbed his. She took a big breath as Angie waited for her to speak, her eyes never leaving Derek.
"W-We can work with a week… we can get him to wake up. W-We have to get him to wake up…" she whispered sadly, stroking his cheek with her free hand.
"I-I'm sorry it's not much…" Angie said, trying to hold her professional tone as her voice cracked. "B-But…"
"Angie…"
Angie looked up and into those familiar brown eyes as Elizabeth finally turned her gaze away from her son, rising to her feet.
"It may not be a long time, but at least it's some time. I'm so amazed to see that you're not willing to back down – that you'll fight for my son until the very end… and I can't tell you how grateful I am for you doing that."
Angie began to cry, though she still fought to hold it in. "I-I just wanted to put up the same fight for him that he did for every patient h-he ever had… he t-taught me to never give up, so I won't… I won't give up on him!"
"Its okay, honey…" Elizabeth said, stepping towards Angie.
"B-But it's not!" Angie interjected. "None of this would've ever happened if Derek wasn't trying to save me…! It's c-completely my fault!"
"Angela!"
Angie was grabbed roughly by the shoulders and the harsh tone prompted her to look up to see Derek's mother very seriously staring her in the eyes.
"Don't you ever think for one second that any of this is your fault. It's not your fault some psycho decided to come in and start shooting, it's not your fault the woman was stabbed in the first place, and it's definitely not your fault that Derek is how he is right now – never forget that he is still ALIVE. And because he is still alive, we cannot give up hope yet, do you understand?"
Angie nodded, sniffling as tears ran down her cheeks. She was pulled into a gentle hug and her back was rubbed soothingly. The nurse felt an instant comfort even with the strict tone that Elizabeth used, because it reminded her instantly of every time Derek held her together in even the direst of situations.
"This is hard for us all Angie, and I don't mean to get harsh with you… but you have to know that it is not your fault, because it isn't. If anything, you're the one helping to keep Derek alive right now by refusing to give up on him. Just please keep fighting…"
Angie pulled back and wiped her eyes, sinking into a nearby chair as Elizabeth took a seat on the side of Derek's bed.
"I just… I…"
"…love him?"
Surprised, Angie looked up at the woman who was smiling gently, tears in her own eyes.
"…yeah." was all she could think to reply, nodding her head slowly as Elizabeth smiled bigger, Angie's cheeks turning slightly pink in the process as she looked away.
"Does he know?"
Angie shook her head. "I wanted to tell him so many times, but until this whole thing unraveled I wasn't ever sure if I should. It… was never the r-right time… a-and then when it was, it was too late…"
"Just wait…" Elizabeth said softly. "Just wait until we can wake Derek up, because if the first thing he sees when he opens his eyes is you, Angie, I guarantee that the first words he'll speak are to let you know the same thing."
Angie raised her eyebrows as she stammered and blushed again, bringing a slight giggle to the older woman's lips. "W-What are you talking about?!" she asked quickly, diverting her stare away when the small chuckles turned into a louder laugh.
"Oh my, Angie, it's been obvious since he first told me about you… it took me only a few months after that to get him to finally admit it. Even though you two have been through some of the roughest times imaginable, you are what kept him going, Angie…" Elizabeth explained, lulling her voice just softly as she smiled, tears in her eyes. "Believe me or not, whenever I used to see him and we would discuss how things were going, he would tell me that he wouldn't have gotten where he was if you weren't by his side – that having you there made him strong and made him keep fighting because he never wanted to let you down… he never wanted to show any weakness or fear because he always wanted to be there… to be strong, for you."
Angie felt her lower lip quiver as another round of tears came pouring out, holding in her sobs to hear the words Derek's mother was saying – it pained her to know but also restored the fight in her that had been steadily fading away as time passed. Knowing that he felt the same way she did made her even more determined to see him open his eyes again, especially when she still had something so important to say.
"I know he'll tell you himself if he wakes up, Angie…" Elizabeth continued, watching the nurse with a sad smile. "But I thought you should know that he has told me on more occasions I can count, that he's absolutely head over heels in love with you…"
Angie couldn't help it anymore as sobs started to let loose, her heart nearly breaking apart in her chest – it was something she had felt for so long about Derek, and as she thought about it she became upset in knowing that she could've told him a long time ago. That now, the fear of rejection seemed like nothing compared to the fear of losing him for good… a fear that was slowly turning into reality.
"H-He told me, too…" Angie stammered, seeing Elizabeth rise from Derek's bed and come over to sit next to her. "W-When he stopped me from g-getting raped… he barged in o-our office and said he was c-coming to save me because he loved me… and like an idiot I never said it back. I-I didn't say it back until he was lying on the ground bleeding to death…!"
Burying her head in her hands Angie began to generously cry again, a soothing hand on her back as Elizabeth pulled her into a hug that prompted the nurse to feel guilty for losing her composure like that.
"I-I'm sorry…" she whispered, wiping her eyes as she pulled away.
"You have nothing to be sorry for, Angie…" was the gentle reply. "We just have to keep fighting, that's all."
Angie nodded and looked over at Elizabeth with a small smile, drying her tears.
"Derek has to wake up because I'm not going to let him go…" she continued with a bigger smile this time, a glint in her eyes as she looked on warmly at the nurse.
"And besides that…" she went on, voice now quieted even more.
"…I've always wanted a daughter."
Angie blushed and smiled broadly at the thought, but couldn't help the question eating away at her.
"What if that never happens...?"
--
Locked in a silent stare, Derek and Alexander remained just feet apart, the eyes of the elder Stiles searching his son's for sincerity.
"You're really listening... you're really going to let me help you?"
Derek shrugged. "Sure, why not... if my memory is so far gone anyway it's probably not going to happen, but I guess anything is worth a shot, right?"
"Stop it." was the fierce reply, said in nearly a growl as Derek shrank at the tone, his eyes lowering to the blackness below him. "Would it kill you to stop being so damn negative? I need you to listen to me and listen closely because what I'm about to tell you is very important – do you understand me?"
Derek remained with his eyes staring downward as he thought, wondering if this was all really worth it.
"...Derek, are you hearing me?"
The surgeon sighed. "I just..."
Alexander took a step forward and placed his hand on his son's shoulder, prompting him to look up at his father, uncertainty in his eyes.
"Listen... I know this is tough, but I would never steer you wrong, and you have to trust me on that or else this is a waste of both of our times. It's not going to be easy, but you have to know that you have so much waiting for you down there... there will be a time when you and I will get to be together again, but please believe me when I tell you that it isn't now. Please Derek – I know you may not think it's the best idea, but you have to cooperate if we're going to be able to do this. Fact is, we're running out of time as well – time moves much faster up here than it does down there and you're short on time there... that means we literally don't have another second to waste. So, are you going to give up once and for all, or are you going to make me proud like you have been all these years and fight for your life?"
Now glancing over to the side Derek let the words run through his mind as he thought, heaving a big sigh as he turned back to look at his dad.
"...I trust you, Dad. Let's do it."
--
"This is absolutely insane…"
Tyler Chase's comment was met with a nod from the other coworkers he was standing with at the time, all three of them watching the zoo that once had been known as Caduceus.
"I can't believe they're letting all those people stay here… this is like a circus." Leslie replied, craning her head to look out the window at the people that had gathered outside of the medical facility with signs, flowers, gifts, and chants for the fallen surgeon after all the news outlets had broken the story of the now five day deadline.
Tyler and Leslie turned around quickly as the door to the lounge flew open with a bang, and just like countless times before, Victor came charging in with a look to kill on his face.
"I can't fucking hear myself think…! If I hear one more lame-ass chant that barely rhymes and is repeated about seventeen times, I'm gonna go outside and drive my car through that herd of people with a big knife anchored to my front grill. And before you start to laugh, Leslie, no – I'm not kidding."
Tyler chuckled and Leslie rolled her eyes with a smirk at the grouch, while Angie just sat idly on the windowsill and gently traced her fingers over the outside of her coffee cup, bad leg propped up on the sill and the other one curled underneath her. The three quickly noticed her unchanging expression before she snapped out of it and took a sip of coffee, rising to her feet and grabbing for her crutch.
"The way I see it, it's a good thing – maybe having to change their labcoats after the barrage of eggs this morning and hearing every news station from coast to coast trash their decision will make those idiots think again about what they're doing…" she grumbled, hobbling over to the coffee maker and pouring another cup. "For the rest of their lives they'll be the doctors that killed the nation's hero – hope they can live with that."
Tyler was just about to step in to settle Angie down when he was nearly tackled from behind by someone to barely stood taller than his waist. He whirled around quickly and chuckled, hoisting his little sister up and into his arms where she hugged around his neck tightly.
"Hi Big Brother…!" she chirped, pulling back to give him a kiss on the cheek. Leslie giggled and Angie couldn't help but crack a small smirk as Tyler held onto the girl, pulling back to look her in the eye.
"Hey Aim-ers… Shouldn't you be in school?" he asked as he set her down and pulled up a chair so he could sit at her level.
"I had half a day today – cool, huh?" she asked, grinning from ear to ear, several holes present from where her teeth used to be.
"For sure…!" he replied with a high five. "But if you don't have school, why are you spending your free time in this boring old place? Shouldn't you be out playing with your friends?"
Amy's smile dropped and she looked at the ground, and then sadly back up at her brother.
"Mom said what happened to Dr. Stiles… and I wanted to come tell him goodbye and thank him for making me not sick anymore." she explained as everyone in the room grew serious again, tears instantly springing into both the nurses' eyes.
Tyler was stunned. "Wow, Amy… Well, uh – you got it. Are you sure though? He's real sick and doesn't look like normal – aren't you scared?"
Amy shook her head diligently. "Nope. He was never scared when I was sick, so I'm not scared either. Besides – I gotta give this to him…"
Pulling her backpack off of her shoulders and all but ripping it open, Amy searched through the small purple bag as Leslie and Angie walked a bit closer to see, both of them watching with heavy hearts as the young girl pulled a big piece of white construction paper out of her bag and opened it, the two of them covering their mouths with their hands to mask impending tears.
"I drew this for him…" Amy said quietly, looking over at Angie and Leslie who were nearly sobbing and her brother, whose normally happy face was completely serious, still in disbelief that she had done something like this.
Her tiny hands holding the sides of the picture as she looked down at it, she struggled to hold it with one hand and her chin as she began to point out various things. It was a drawing of Derek with angel's wings, a halo around his head and his uniform on. There was a shining sun, a rainbow, and he was seated on a cloud with a coffee machine next to him.
"When Dr. Stiles would come in and check on me sometimes he would talk to me to make me not so scared. One time he let me play this game he had that he said Nurse Angie would take away from him if she found it… so that's why he's in heaven playing his videogame in the picture – I felt sad for him because he said he never had any time to play it, he was always so busy helping other people instead of having some fun for himself."
Tyler bit his lower lip as he nodded to her explanation, forcing a smile through his devastated expression, his girlfriend and close friend crying not four feet away from him.
"This… is awesome, Amy. I'm sure if he was awake to see it he'd love it – he always used to love the pictures you would draw for him when you were sick…"
Her eyes lit up. "Really?"
"Really, Amy…" Angie spoke up, wiping her face as she smiled and nodded at the girl. "Did you know that he keeps them in our office? And sometimes, when he's having a real bad day, he takes them out and it cheers him up a lot…"
Amy smiled brightly and turned toward Tyler, who scooped her up in his arms. "Do you wanna go give your picture to him?" he asked as she nodded vigorously.
"Alright – let's go…" he said gently, casting a sad glance over his shoulder at the nurses as he retreated from the room with his sister.
Leslie turned toward Angie and both of them sat down at one of the tables in the lounge, sharing a pained laugh as they wiped their eyes.
"I seriously don't know how much more of this I can take…" Angie said quietly, leaning forward to lower her head onto her arms before she was interrupted.
"…Nurse Angie?"
Picking her tear-stained face up and looking towards the door, Angie was shocked to see a very sophisticated looking Linda Reid staring back at her, the girl's hands nervously playing with one another in front of her.
"Linda…!" Angie exclaimed, jumping to her feet as she tried to hide her emotions. "What brings you here?" she asked, full well knowing before she had even asked.
"I came to see Dr. Stiles…" she said gently, tears in her eyes. "I h-heard what happened, on the n-news, and what they said about him d-dyi—"
"Shh…" Angie said, stepping forward and in a very uncharacteristic move, embracing Linda for a quick second before she pulled back and placed a hand on each shoulder, looking her in the eyes.
"Don't cry – that's the last thing Dr. Stiles would want to see you do, okay?" she offered, Linda nodding and stepping back. "Be strong, just like he taught you…"
If only I could follow my own advice…
"O-Okay…" she replied. "I-I can do that for him…"
Angie smiled. "Good. Now, would you like me to take you to go see him?"
Linda nodded again. "P-Please, Nurse Angie…"
Angie nodded and led Linda out of the room with a pained glance back at Leslie, who just gave her a small wave before collapsing back into the chair she had been seated in.
It was going to be the longest five days of their lives.
--
Alexander Stiles smiled, looking his son in the eyes to try to decipher his true intentions.
"...really? You're really going to let me help you?"
Derek nodded. "Why not – I know you wouldn't be pressing this if it wasn't important, so I might as well give it all I've got."
"That's my boy..." his father said softly, a proud smile on his face before it hardened into a look of determination. "Now, let's get started..."
The elder Stiles shifted on his feet, trying to think of just where to begin. He snapped his fingers suddenly and looked up, locking eyes with his son.
"Okay... say there's something that's very important to you." he began slowly. "Say that you had to operate on... your mother, for some reason. Even though you give every patient all you have, you'd give that slight extra push if you were operating on your mother... am I right?"
Derek nodded. "Of course – it's mom."
"Right." Alexander replied. "That's because human emotions are a powerful thing – when something is important to you, you tend to fight harder to protect it, rather than if you're just doing it out of a sense of duty."
"Makes sense." Derek replied.
"Good... because this is the vital thing I need you to remember. The only way you'll be able to connect with your body again is to not only remember the things and people important to you, but be able to remember the way you felt about them. Once you realize and remember your true feelings about the people down there, you'll start to become more and more in touch with your body, and that will show in the level of your consciousness."
"I understand the first part, but I'm not sure I get the end – my level of consciousness?" Derek questioned, his forehead furrowed.
"Yes..." he replied. "I've heard Dr. Hoffman speaking about it down there... he and the other doctors refer to it as a 'shock to your system' – something to bring your mind out of this haze and allow you to wake up. That's what it is in a manner of speaking, but from our point of view, the thing that will send you back is the moment you realize that you're not done on Earth yet... the moment that you realize fighting for your life is worth it – that even though there's immense pain, you will yourself to keep going because something down there isn't worth losing just yet."
"So, what you're saying is that I'm basically supposed to have a revelation – that I'll only be able to wake up if I realize that there's something on Earth I still need?"
Alexander nodded with a reassuring smile. "You've got it, Derek... that's why it's important to try to remember as much as possible – not to let the pain falter you. If you search hard enough and you stay strong, you'll remember who you were and with that will come feelings that will force you to keep going."
Derek's forehead twitched. "...Pain? What pain?"
His father bit his lip. "Well, think about it, doctor... when your mind and body start to reconnect, you'll begin to feel whatever it is your body is feeling. And, the reason you're like this is because you were shot and had a very extensive surgery – your body is in immense pain, and the more and more you remember, the more you'll feel that pain. That's why it's important to stay strong, to keep your mind off of that and on the bigger goal – many people allow the first feelings of that pain to stop them, and sadly, they don't make it... I'll help you as best as I can, but this is all about the force of your willpower – you can do this Derek, I know it."
Derek sighed softly, scratching the back of his head. "And what if there's nothing down there that will help me remember...?"
Alexander shot his son a look. "What did I say about being negative?"
"Sorry... it's just..."
"I know – it's a pretty tall order... but just trust me, I'm here to help you find the answers you need. I'll stay with you, because it is not your time yet. Got it?"
Derek nodded and Alexander stepped towards him with a small smirk.
"You ready for the fight of your life?" he asked, met with a small pause until the surgeon finally nodded, a bewildered smile crossing his face.
"Good, cause we're starting right now... close your eyes."
Derek hesitated for a moment but finally obliged, closing his eyes momentarily until he heard the command to open them. When he did he was surprised to see that the blackness surrounding him had faded, leaving him with a backdrop that he knew was familiar, though he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Brown eyes scanned the room slowly as he took in every detail of the room, stopping dead in his tracks when he scanned over a bed – a motionless figure laying in it. He and his father exchanged glances as Derek took a closer glance at the bed, recognizing himself as the man lying there.
Trying to take a step forward, Derek noticed quickly that he was rooted in his spot, unable to move.
"Why can't I move? I want to go over there." he said, met with a stern shake of his father's head.
"You can't – you're merely here to observe. Think of it like a fishbowl – people are going to start coming in here more and more because time is winding down on you – at the point we're at right now, you've got five days before they take you off life support, so everyone is at their wit's end trying to make you wake up. So, as they come in we'll be talking about things and I'll do my best to get you to remember everything I can, based on watching your life... sound okay?"
Derek nodded in response and his father smiled. "Good, because it looks like we're starting right now..."
--
"Come on in, Amy…"
Tyler Chase walked in first to Derek Stiles' room and held the door open, grabbing his little sister's hand and leading her inside slowly. She stopped when the door closed and leaned her back against it, curious eyes never leaving Derek's motionless form in his bed. Her fingers tightly gripped the picture in her hands and the other hand held Tyler's tightly, looking up at him hesitantly for reassurance.
He knelt down next to her and smiled softly, looking her in the eyes. "It's okay if you don't want to do this, Amy… Dr. Stiles is very sick, and I know he'll understand if you're a little scared."
She nodded back. "Even though I saw lots of sick people while I was in the hospital it was different – he's not supposed to be sick, he's supposed to help everyone because he didn't want for anyone to be sick ever again."
Tyler frowned and rose to his feet. "…come on Amy – it's okay that you go. I'll leave your picture here for him…" he started, reaching gently for the picture but unsuccessfully, as Amy pulled in close to her chest with a frown of her own.
"No… I'm going to give it to him. He did a lot for me, so I can't be scared now…"
"Are you sure?"
The young girl nodded vigorously. "Uh-huh. It's okay – he'll be able to see it when he wakes up anyway."
Tyler smiled sadly, the smirk fading when Amy looked up at him questioningly again.
"…can I talk to him?" she asked hesitantly.
He sighed. "Of course you can… he can't talk back, but he can still hear you… so, go for it – I'm sure he'd love to hear what you have to say."
She smiled and walked forward, gripping his hand tightly.
--
As the blonde and the young girl paced towards where his unconscious form was laying, Derek and Alexander watched intently until the elder Stiles turned towards his son.
"I know these people, Dad..." Derek said matter-of factly, brown eyes never leaving the sight. "I know I know these people… right? I do... right?"
"Allow me to explain, son." Alexander offered, finally pulling the brunette's gaze off of the sight in front of him. "Once again, this whole experience is tied to your memory, and your memory is tied to your emotions. I can tell you all I want about these people until I'm blue in the face, but that won't make you remember why they're important to you. So, I'll give you a few facts, you can watch and listen to them, and once you truly remember who they are, you'll remember their names, and maybe even things about them. And the more you remember, the closer you'll be... I can tell you general things, but only you hold the memories about these people that will remind you why they're in your life to begin with."
Derek nodded. "I understand – so, who are they?"
"The blonde is your best friend, has been since college – you two went to med school together, and were roommates for almost all of that time."
"Really?" Derek asked, watching as the young girl with him finally reached the end of his bed, her eyes nervous and uncertain. "That's not, his kid... is it? She looks a bit old to be his..."
"No, Derek... that's his sister. She was a patient of yours not too long ago, but when you came to Caduceus and found out she had GUILT, you were able to perform a successful operation on her and save her life..."
"I just wanted to say thank you again, Dr. Stiles… thanks for never giving up on me. This is for you…"
Tyler sighed. "If it wasn't for you, man… she wouldn't be here – and I still owe you everything for giving us both our lives back."
Derek and his father watched as the young girl placed a picture on his bed, so big it could clearly be seen from where they were standing.
"...both of our lives..." Derek whispered, repeating back what Tyler had said as he thought. Suddenly the surgeon's eyes widened and his father looked at him with concern, trying to figure out just what was on his mind – but before he could ask, Derek began to speak.
"Tyler."
Alexander let a smile sweep his face, nodding his head. "You've got it, Derek... talk to me, tell me what you're thinking."
Derek remained looking forward as the pair stood by his bedside, the young girl talking to him about how her life was going.
"He was going to kill her... he was going to kill Amy, but the operation was successful. He had been practicing euthanasia, but when I saved his sister I was able to convince him to stop... ever since then he's been my best friend, just like old times... and that picture – she drew me a picture when she was sick... I still have it in my office. And that game in the picture – it's mine... I always let her play it when she was staying here."
Derek flinched and his hand shot up to rub his temple after he stopped talking, a small hiss coming from between his clenched teeth.
"Are you alright?" his father asked, taking a step towards him.
He nodded. "I-I think so... it just, hurts."
"I told you this was going to happen when you start to remember… the severity of the pain is very great, indeed, but you just have to endure it for a short time, and…"
Derek stumbled backward a step and closed his eyes, opening them again quickly when his father yelped.
"Don't…! Ah, dammit…!"
The surgeon looked around contemplatively, noticing that he was surrounded again by the blackness that had enveloped him since this whole mess had began.
"W-What's going on...?"
Alexander sighed. "I forgot to tell you not to close your eyes... that when you begin to feel pain, closing your eyes puts you back at square one – it was my fault, I'm sorry..."
"But, I still remember Tyler and Amy..." Derek offered.
"Yes, but besides their names, can you tell me anything about them?" Alexander countered, raising an eyebrow.
Derek sighed and dropped his shoulders, shaking his head.
"Take me back – let's try it again..."
--
Sidney Kasal paced down the long hallway leading to Derek Stiles' hospital room, shooing plenty of nosy employees out of the way with nothing more than a stern glare. With four days left for the attendings to make a decision and with Dr. Hoffman for some reason keeping his distance from the whole situation, Sidney had taken it on himself to oversee Derek's treatment and progress personally.
As he did multiple times a day, the director reached for Derek's chart in the basket just outside his door, realizing when the swipe of his hand came up empty that someone must be inside with the surgeon at the moment. He opened the door quickly and paced in, finding it empty, much to his surprise. The chart in question was laying on the table just to the left of the entrance, with a note attached to leave it inside Derek's room now that other employees were snooping in to get updates on the surgeon's condition. Sidney looked at this and shook his head, his dress shoes clicking on the tile as he walked towards Derek and took a look at his monitors.
"Well, Derek… you've got every one of my best employees depressed and unable to pay attention, and the rest of my staff neglecting other duties to come and gossip about how you're doing – so if this is my payback for making you come to work on your day off for that meeting, I guess we're more than even…" he said.
Alexander looked over at Derek as his eyes studied the man speaking to him, his teeth sinking into his lower lip forcefully.
"Well, Derek...?" he asked. "Anything...?"
Derek let out a laugh, though his face was devoid of the smile that would usually accompany the chuckle. "Sidney Kasal – I'd never forget that voice as long as I live."
His father nodded. "Good, Derek... you're getting quicker! Can I ask why it's his voice that helped you remember?"
The brunette sighed, raking a hand through his hair as he tried to think of anything to get his mind off of the painful thumping in his head. "With how many times I've spoken with him personally, he's left me voicemails to come in, called me to come in... I've talked to him nearly every day since I started Caduceus – it'd be impossible for me to forget him."
Alexander nodded. "See? You're getting it – you're not only remembering who these people are, but little bits and pieces of how they made an impact on your life. Whether it be as small as your boss calling you in all the time, or as big as remembering that you thought your friend Victor had been killed right in front of you... you're starting to remember more and more about these people – and you haven't even gotten to see the most important ones yet..."
Derek blinked. "The important ones...? What do you mean – who are they?"
"We'll get there..." Alexander replied. "Right now I think you need to just turn away from this and look at the wall – take some deep breaths and try to deal with that headache of yours."
Following orders, Derek turned around and faced the wall, beginning to breathe steadily. Somehow he knew that this pain was only the beginning.
--
"Angie… Angie, wake up…"
It took a couple rough shakes of her shoulder to rouse the exhausted nurse from her sleep, but she eventually complied, shooting up in a frenzy when she came to.
"W-What's going on…? W-Where's Derek… is he awake?" she asked, tripping over her words as she was still practically asleep.
Victor Niguel looked at Angie with sadness, shaking his head as he handed her a coffee. Her hopeful eyes flashed a sign of defeat as she sighed and took it from him, thanking him before she began to demolish it in front of his eyes as he just chuckled.
Day five was even tenser than the last four, and like every day it started with all of Derek's loved ones checking his condition – which up until that point remained gently fluctuating, but not enough to be considered forward progress.
"Do we know what kind of stimulation therapy they're going to try today…?" Angie asked in between sips as Victor grabbed for Derek's chart and gave it a quick once over.
"Looks like they're trying the tactile approach again…" he muttered. "…it was the one that caused the biggest reaction in him, even though it still wasn't that noticeable…"
Angie sighed, her fingers lazily tracing the outside of her coffee cup. "Does it say how long they're going to try it today?"
Victor's dark eyes scanned the sheet in front of him, flipping it over as he let out a low whistle. "Looks like they're gonna go for the full eight hours… I guess if it gets the most response they're going to keep trying it."
"…Makes sense." Angie replied, finishing the last of her coffee as she looked down at the cup sadly.
"I haven't gotten to have any time to be in his room alone with him since this whole countdown began…" she said gently, just as Tyler walked in the room and sat down next to them. "Everyone has been so busy, so in and out that every time I try to go and spend some time in there, either someone's already inside or I get called away before I can… it's really been depressing."
Tyler frowned and traded a quick glance with Victor just as the researcher's pager went off and he left the room, promptly replaced by Leslie. Suddenly the doctor was hit with an idea, which he presented with a quick snap of his fingers.
"Hey Les – you were just by Derek's room… did you happen to hear what time his therapy starts today?"
"Yeah…" she replied. "They start at noon – why?"
Tyler looked at Angie and smiled. "…would you mind checking helping me check up on Angie's patients so she can spend some time in Derek's room?"
Angie's eyes lit up as she sat up slowly. "You would do that…?"
Leslie smiled and nodded, Tyler following suit. "Of course – all the doctors are either in surgery or not even here yet, so you've got some time to spend alone with him… don't worry, we'll watch out for your patients in the meantime."
Grabbing her crutch in a hurry Angie sent a grin towards the pair as Tyler slipped an arm around Leslie's shoulders, helping her stand up as all three of them exited the room.
--
"Derek... how are you feeling?"
In response to his father's question Derek just shrugged, still trying to breathe his way through the pain. "I've been better." was his simple reply, eyes still staring at the picture on the wall right in front of him.
"I just... I know all these people are a big part of my life, and it's important that I stay for them..." Derek began, looking down disdainfully. "...But, what is there for me to stay for? What is really going to make this all worthwhile?"
Alexander looked at his son and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Derek, if you're able to return to your life you'll see exactly what I'm talking about - it may not seem like much now, but the smiles of your patients and those who love you keep you going everyday. Making a difference in someone's life, and knowing that you mean the world to another person is nothing to turn up your nose at... but right now it's hard to see that because of the fact that I'm trying to show you close to three decades of life in a very short amount of time. And like I said before, the most important people are st—…"
Derek brought his eyes up at his father as he abruptly stopped talking, noticing that his eyes were no longer on him, but across the room.
"Dad...?" he asked, turning Alexander's attention to him immediately. "Why did you stop talking...?"
His father smiled softly. "Because, Derek... I can't give you a better reason to fight than for the person that just walked through your door."
Confused, Derek slowly turned away from the wall and set his eyes on the woman that had just walked into his room. Her blonde hair billowed behind her, wrapped tightly in a ponytail and her green eyes never left his bed as she waited for the door to slowly close behind her. As she propped up the crutch she was holding against the wall, she tightly hugged her arms to her body and limped forward towards his bed.
Derek watched her in complete silence and refused to take his eyes off of her, even though he could feel his father staring at him from his side.
"Who is she...?" Derek whispered, watching with a slight sadness as she pulled a chair up close to his bed and sat down, both of her hands reaching forward and curling around his.
"...I'm not saying anything." Alexander replied, successful in breaking Derek's gaze from the woman at his bedside.
"What do you mean you're not saying anything – you said you would help me!" Derek replied.
His father frowned. "Listen to me – for someone as influential in your life as this girl right here, you should have no problem remembering things about her. If anyone could bring you back from this Derek, it's her and her alone. Just listen to her, and hopefully you'll find what you need..."
When Derek just stared back at him he sighed, dropping his shoulders.
"That right there, is your assistant – faithful to you like I've never seen before. And she's talking, so you better listen up..."
--
Hands holding his left one tightly, Angie just stared up at Derek's face with a sad smile, her fingers tracing over his skin softly.
"You know, it's been a long couple of days not getting to spend some time alone with you…" she started quietly. "…but this makes it all worthwhile – something about being in here with you puts me at ease, and I'm not exactly sure why…"
She chuckled softly. "…actually, that's a lie – I know why I feel safe here…"
Brushing a piece of hair out of her face and behind her ear, Angie lowered her head down to look at their clasped hands with a sad smile.
"…It's because you always made me feel safe, Derek… always. No matter where we went or what we were doing, I knew that you would protect me from all the bad things out there. Heh, some assistant I was… supposed to be strong for you, yet you always ended up having to pick me up and keep me going. But yet, no matter what happened, you were always happy to do it… so this is why I'm being strong for you now. I can't let you go, Derek… you're way too special to me."
A frown set on Derek's face as he watched tears fill in her deep green eyes, making him immediately concerned.
"Why is she crying...?" he asked, watching as the girl in question fought back her tears and instead smiled, looking up at his face and tracing his cheek gently with her hand. "And why can't I feel that...?"
"She's crying, because she's afraid to lose you – you're very important to her, can't you hear?" Alexander replied. "You obviously aren't making a connection here, otherwise you WOULD feel that touch..."
Suddenly a brighter smile crossed Angie's lips and she giggled once, sniffling and pushing her tears back.
"I was thinking earlier this week… do you remember that time we almost kissed?" she asked quietly, giggling again. "Well, I should say 'times', but the first one you were so drunk I highly doubt you would remember it anyway…" she mused, laughing again as she paused.
"The operation that started this whole mess – when we lost Katherine… I walked into the scrub room and you were just so distraught, so sad. Even though losing patients is few and far between for you, it still breaks my heart to see you like that, Derek… because you always take it so hard, yet you did everything you could. And that time was no different – it was that asshole's fault she got stabbed anyway, but it all happened so fast… you just looked, so defeated. Anyway, we were talking about it and I was trying to reassure you that it wasn't your fault, and somehow we ended up really close… and right there, in that moment -- I realized just how much I care about you. When I realized that even though you tend to save me most of the time, you're just as much my source of strength as I am yours, it made me realize how far we've come since the pair that could barely stand each other back at Hope Hospital… how empty my life would be without you."
She sighed. "And, even though I was practically about to throw up from nervousness, I rose up and put my arms around you, thinking I was finally going to be able to show you how I feel…"
Suddenly the door swung open and Sidney popped inside, backing up a step immediately as he watched Angie jump in surprise.
"Oh, my mistake, I don't mean to interrupt – just let me know when you're finished, okay?"
Angie nodded. "Yes, Director."
The door clicked shut and Angie couldn't help but giggle softly, lacing her hands around Derek's again.
"And, that exact same thing happened…" she finished, giggling again. "Sidney walked in and we broke apart – come to think of it, that isn't the first time he's interrupted something between us… either him or Tyler – I swear they have it out for us."
Angie lowered her head again, rubbing his hand softly.
"I just, want to finally tell you how I feel about you, Derek… I want – no, need you to wake up so badly, because you have no idea how much I need you, how much… you keep me going, every day."
She paused for a bit but looked up at him again, a sad smile on her face.
"I'm not going to say it until you're awake – but, there's something really important I need to tell you… and while I know it's not much and that you probably could care less, I hope it's enough to get you to come back…"
Derek watched as the woman leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on the back of his hand, tracing over it with her thumb as she stood up and stared at him for a moment longer, finally removing herself from the room with a gentle wave and a frown. His eyes stayed fixed on the door even after she left, a whirlwind of thoughts tracing through his mind.
Alexander approached him hesitantly. "Well...?"
Derek remained staring forward, his hands now on his hips as he thought.
"Derek, talk to me – what is it? Is it the pain? Are you alright? What is it? What can you tell me about her?"
The brunette looked back at his father with worry laced in his eyes, that concern mirroring in Alexander.
"Derek, what is it?"
With a sign, the surgeon looked downward, biting his lip.
"...That's my assistant. She's been with me ever since I started at Hope Hospital – no matter what, she's been with me."
Alexander smiled and nodded, but then frowned, realizing the discrepancy in what he was saying.
"That's all things that you..."
"…heard the two of you say, yeah…" Derek finished with a sad nod. "I'm really scared here, Dad."
"Why?" Alexander asked, placing a hand on Derek's back. "Surely you can at least tell me her name, if nothing else about her... what is there to be scared about?"
Derek turned around in a slow circle, holding his head tightly in his hands. "I can't tell you anything else, Dad…"
"Why not? She gave you so much there, what's going on?"
Derek sighed.
"I know nothing, and I feel no pain..." he started, looking up at his father with a sad shrug.
"...because I have absolutely no idea who she is."
I'm willing to bet so many people are ready to kill me right now... and I'm sorry :(
Not too long until the next update - if I don't have it up in like, 3 weeks, PM me and bug the crap out of me, alright?! :D
See you then... bring Kleenex!