The TARDIS 30 prompts challenge, based around the 9th Doctor. Please R&R

The Story Of Nine

Freedom

He laughed, there was something maniacal about the sound of it. He was alive! He was fine! He had survived the Time War, of all people him. The Doctor. The one who ran, the one who always ran. But not this time, this time he stayed, this time he survived. He was victorious. Time Lord victorious. The one and only Time Lord in the whole universe. No one to stop it, no one to say "don't do that", no one for anything, just him. Just the Doctor, in the TARDIS, alone. Perfect. Freedom at last. Freedom from Gallifrey, from everyone.

Pain

He regenerated and as he did everything changed. All the feelings of victory and success left. His hair shortened and his body changed and he knew that that was it now. Just him completely alone in the universe. Nothing could explain the complete emptiness and pain that caused. The war had been horrific, the worst sights he had ever witnessed but he'd have given anything to be back in it. At least while fighting he didn't have any time to stop and think, he didn't have time for anything other than surviving. Now all he had was time, nothing but time that wouldn't pass and pain that wouldn't end.

"Well, I guess I have to thank you now"

He went to Earth as he always had done. He became reckless, not caring what happened to him or how. He witnessed John Kennedy being killed, he saved a family from the titanic, he went to World War 1 and 2 and 3. He went to English civil war and the American. He took part rebellions and revolutions.

It was at the opening of the 3rd World War when he was almost killed. A woman saved him, he didn't know who she was but she pulled out of the path of a bullet. He just stared at her blankly, no life in his eyes "Well, I guess I have to thank you now…" was all he said at first.

Truth

He got talking to her, without even finding out her name, while walking aimlessly. He told her everything, everything about Gallifrey, the Time War, the burning, the hatred, the pain, everything. He explain how it made earth look tiny, he told her how he felt, how he didn't see the point when it was all so meaningless. Tears filled his eyes as he told her how he came to the decision to end it the only way he could; so that everyone lost. And everything died. Except him.

She looked at him helplessly, wordlessly and he smiled "Not a word was true" he whispered, playfully "I'm just a born storyteller" and before she could reply he was gone.

Saviour

He continued to travel alone, going anywhere where he knew there were problems. Wars, poverty, pain, suffering of any type. He went to them to try and help. He went to save them. Them being anyone, anyone and everyone. He had to help, he had to do something. He'd destroyed so much, planets had died because of him, he had to do something to counter that.

But it wasn't enough. It would never be enough. He could never save everyone, people always died. He could never do enough. Everywhere he went there was death, it was his one and only companion

Hatred

He wondered why he bothered. Why bother travelling when he only made things worse? He just hurt more and more people the more he travelled. He never meant to, he only meant to help, but it never turned out that way. He wasn't one for hatred but he grew to hate so much. He hated the Time Lords for being unprepared, he hated the Daleks for starting it, but mostly he hated himself for ending it. He hated himself for the repeated Genocide he had committed. He hated himself for everything he had done and everything he would do in the future because he knew it wasn't going to get any better.

Loss

He didn't go anywhere. An endless time past in the TARDIS and he felt no desire to go anywhere. He felt nothing about anything. Everything the Doctor had been, everything the Doctor had stood for, everything he had been before was lost. He became an empty shell floating about the empty, endless space of the TARDIS. He didn't care about anything, he had no desire to live. He wasn't living, he wasn't alive, he was simply surviving. But surely that was better? If he didn't look back and didn't move forward then nothing could be wrong. Nothing could get worse.

Or better.

Sorrow

He wandered around aimlessly through the empty corridors and empty rooms, never doing anything but wandering. Never going anywhere. Sadness, upset, sorrow and any other words there was to describe it did not go deep enough to explain what he was feeling. He was feeling everything so deeply that he barely felt anything at all. Everything hurt so much that it barely hurt at all. And he didn't care about anything. He just continued to exist in the TARDIS

"I'm not sure I can do this."

The only effort he made was to avoid the control room, he didn't want to go out. He didn't want to admit to himself that he missed it. He didn't want to admit that he missed living. He was scared, though he wouldn't even admit that, he was scared of going out and get hurt again, scared of hurting people again, scared of everything.

It was impossible to tell the amount of time that past before he found himself back in the control room staring at the doors. "I'm not sure I can do this" he told the TARDIS in a whisper, his voice so void of emotion that it portrayed all the emotion he was feeling.

Innocence

He left the TARDIS, landing in late 20th century London. He didn't do anything, he simply leaned against the TARDIS and watched the human life around him. There was a lot of the typical hustle and bustle of London life; men in suits looking miserable; traffic jams of red buses and black taxis: families on their way home from school and work.

A girl of about 6 and a boy of about 8 caught the Doctor's eyes as the boy fell over and screamed from the pain and shock of it and the girl automatically ran to him and checked he was ok. She then ran to her Mum and told her that her friend had fallen down. Innocence was something the Doctor could barely remember, but it was the only word to describe that little girl.

Her name was Rose Tyler.

Hope

He smiled. It wasn't a smile of pure happiness and it wasn't a smile that said everything was all right. But it was a sign. It was a sign things could get better in time. It was a sign that there was more than just destruction and pain in the universe. It was a sign he could believe in life again. It was hope. It was something which said he was going to stop wandering helplessly, aimlessly, lifelessly around the TARDIS. It was a sign he was going to live again.

He went back into the TARDIS and set the controls to random.

Doubt

He travelled without a purpose for a while, he just went wherever the TARDIS took him. He doubted he'd ever get back to the happy, fun-loving Doctor he was before the Time War, before everything ended, before he gave up. But it was a start. He was travelling. He was becoming more and more like the Doctor again. If only he could get past the self-hatred and self-doubt then maybe things really could be all right.

Friendship

She saved him. She barely knew him, but she faced the Nestene Consciousness to save him, even after he'd told her to go home and forget him. And this time he didn't run. He stopped and stayed, he knew he needed someone. He knew he needed a friend and Rose Tyler was the perfect candidate. She was sweet and kind and caring, she was smart and fun and knew how to have a good time and when to be serious. She was exactly what he needed. So he asked her to come with him. He even went back when she said no. Maybe that would've seemed a little desperate, but he needed a friend. He needed Rose Tyler.

Bury

He knew exactly what else he needed as well. He needed to let go. Not of the Time War because he knew he would never be able to let go of that, he'd never be able to let go of Gallifrey and mostly he didn't want to. But he needed to let go of emotion. Not completely, he had no desire to become like a Dalek or a Cyberman, but he knew he needed to protect himself. He needed to bury emotion, to protect his hearts because he was sure they couldn't take anymore. He couldn't allow himself to feel anything too deeply because he wouldn't be able to bear it.

Creation

He took Rose to see the end of the world. Her world. The end of the Earth. She was horrified, the sight shocked her to the core, from her eyes, the eyes of a human, it was the end of everything, the end of all creation. He regretted showing her as soon as he saw the sadness in her eyes at the sight. But it was all right for her, everything was all right for her, because all he had to do was take her hand and lead her back to the TARDIS and a few minutes later they were back on Earth. Back on her world.

Understanding

"My planet burnt" He told her, avoiding her gaze but knowing she was looking right at him. He explained what happened. And this time he didn't go into deep detail, he just told Rose the basics. And this time he didn't run when he had finished.

Rose took his hand gently, and used no words to claim that she understood what he was going through. But it wasn't words he was looking for, what he was looking for he found. When he asked if she wanted to go home and she told him she wanted chips, he had to laugh, because she was just so human and ironic as it was 'just so human' was exactly what he needed.

Beauty

Rose Tyler was beautiful. The Doctor noticed it when she put on that dress to go out in the 19th century. He found the words slipping out of his mouth before he could stop them "You look beautiful" he told her, instantly regretting it. Beauty was a human thing, an emotion thing, he couldn't allow that to slip in "Considering" he added, explaining with "That you're human" making it a joke, because he had to.

But she was beautiful and it wasn't just because of the way she looked. Rose Tyler was beautiful on the inside as well, were it counted.

Forgotten

The Doctor took her to see Charles Dickens, it hadn't been intentionally but he didn't regret it. Except losing her, that had terrified him. And he found himself smiling more and more with her around. A smile no longer felt wrong on his face, it still didn't feel right but it didn't feel wrong. He knew he would never forget what happened on Gallifrey, what he did. There was still a part of him that wished it could be forgotten, that he could just remove it from his memory and be happy without it, but he would never do that. He was all there was of Gallifrey now and he had to remember. But he was beginning to see, maybe, he could move on from it.

"So, do you love me?"

He hadn't meant to arrive 12 months later rather than 12 hours, it was a simple accident. A simple accident that had caused so much pain to so many people. He sighed, his life seemed to be full of them. He couldn't bear it though, he didn't know if Rose saw through his innocent comment of "Don't you dare make this place domestic". He couldn't stand domestics, he didn't want to think of normal life let alone watch it in front of him.

But Rose was human, domestic was to be expected, and Mickey the Idiot was hurt by her. The Doctor, who avoided anything which involved emotions, could see the unspoken question on Mickey's lips when he looked at Rose "So, do you love me?" and he knew Rose could see it. Why didn't she answer it?

Trust

"Sure you don't want to stay with them?" The Doctor asked once they were back in the TARDIS. He didn't want her to leave him, but he didn't want her to feel like she had to stay. He knew he had no right to make anyone feel like they had to do anything.

"Yes, Doctor, I'm sure." Rose replied instantly.

"Why?" He asked, genuinely curious.

"Because the universe is beautiful. I don't want to miss the chance to see it, and I like travelling with you" Rose meant his eyes "Why you asking? Did you want to go?"

"No!" the Doctor answered quickly. "Just checking you were sure."

Rose smiled "Trust me Doctor, I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be"

Trust me Doctor. And he did trust her and that scared him.

Photograph

He had never been as scared as he was when he saw a Dalek in Van Statten's basement. It was just sat there, waiting for orders from a planet that no longer existed. It was just sat there, a single metal pod, chained up and unable to go anywhere. Just sat there, like a photograph. Like a simple, old sepia photograph summing up the horrors of the Time War. Pulling him straight back there, reminding him of what he could never forget, forcing him to relive it. Forcing him, against his will, to lose himself, once again to the War. Forcing him to admit to himself that it truly would never be over. It would never be gone.

Perception

"What about you, Doctor, what are you turning into?"

Rose's words had cut him deep. She forced him to stop, forced him to look at himself. Looking at himself and the Dalek he was pointing the gun at. Him and it. It and him. Were they really so different? He blamed the Daleks for the Time War but was it there fault? Or did the fault lay with the Time Lords. They started it and he ended it. They both caused an uncountable number of deaths. Was he really any better than them? It was a matter of perception and his was telling him that he wasn't.

Forgiveness

The look in Rose's eyes when she asked to go back to see her Father haunted the Doctor. There was something about her, something he couldn't say no to. And he understood her reasoning perfectly. There was so many times he wished he could've gone back just so that someone wasn't alone but he couldn't. Rose could though, so he had to say yes.

And Rose almost caused the end of the world with a few simple mistakes. An event which opened the Doctor's eyes to the reality of his situation. He could and would never forgive himself for what he did on and to Gallifrey and all the other planets, but that didn't mean he had to hate himself for everything simple little mistake he made afterwards. If only he could find a way, find the forgiveness he needed from himself, maybe then he'd be all right.

Betrayal

After letting Rose see her Father, the Doctor realised he had betrayed himself. He'd let himself care for someone again, he had let Rose into his hearts. He had only planned on a simple friendship, a bit of fun, the chance to smile again, he had never thought he'd end up feeling so deeply for her. He considered dropping her home and just leaving her there. Protecting himself before he lost her and protecting her before she got hurt by him but he couldn't. He didn't want to let her go, he didn't want to be alone. So he didn't, he didn't change anything.

Joy

The Doctor never would've thought that going to World War 2 once again would prove to be the perfect place for everything to go right. "I love days like this" he announced to Rose and he did. Nothing gave him more joy than seeing everything turn out all right, seeing no one die. The thought of no one die him made him dizzy with excitement and happiness. It was brilliant. It was perfect. It was fantastic because just for once everyone lived. Just that once.

Music

Meeting Captain Jack Harkness was an experience and a half. He certainly was a one of a kind man, somewhat like the Doctor himself. But he liked him, once he got passed the big-headed annoyingness. And Jack reopened his eyes to music, he hadn't listened to music properly for such a long time, but Glen Miller's Moonlight Serenade opened him eyes and reminded him what he had been missing.

Music which could elicit so many emotions, music which could say and do so much with no words. Music which was beautiful, music which reminded him once again that not everything was bad in the universe. Music which made him truly happy to pull Rose Tyler into his arms and dance with her like he would never let her go.

Electricity

He was happy. Well as happy as he could be, happier than he had been since the Time War. He was happily travelling with Rose and Jack, it was almost like before the War. As though it was Tegan and Turlough or Zoe and Jamie that were travelling with him, as though Gallifrey was still waiting for him and he was avoiding it. Of course, he knew it wasn't, but the fact that Gallifrey was gone didn't fill his every thought any longer. It was like electricity, like a switch had been flicked on and he was able to be happy again and he didn't take it for granted.

Underwater

If happiness was electricity then the Daleks were water. Water that forced him under, forced him to lose or destroy everything good that he had. Sending Rose home just about killed him. He had known it was necessary, known it was his only choice because he could not put her in any danger but it had hurt so much. He felt like he was drown, like he was being pulled underwater and he didn't know how to keep himself upright, keep himself floating. Once again he became unsure if he even wanted to. Part of him welcomed Death once again. Coward or killer? He was both but if that was his final choice he would go with coward, always.

Aid

But Death never came because Rose came back. "I bring life". Oh Rose, sweet, innocent, lovely, loving human Rose. She didn't understand fully what she was doing, she couldn't, even he didn't understand the power of the TARDIS, but in that moment when Rose looked at him he knew she understood him, everything about him. It scared him but he was so thankful for it. Thankful for her, thankful for her coming to his aid. She almost killed herself in a desperate attempt to save him and he knew exactly what he had to do to stop that happening.

He kissed her.

Flight

It killed him. He knew it would. There was something rather poetic about that he thought. He hadn't wanted to let anyone in, and when he did, kissing her had been the death of him. He looked at her, semi-conscious on the TARDIS floor and knew it was worth it. He was happy to regenerate and start another life if it meant Rose Tyler would live to fight another day. He put the TARDIS into flight, and turned to Rose who had stood up by this point.

"Before I go…" he needed to say this "You were fantastic" he smiled and though it was pained there was happiness behind it "And you know what? So was I"

And this time he believed it.

A/N: Aw. I love Nine, and he doesn't get enough attention and now I'm so glad I wrote this! =D R&R?