I woke up the next morning feeling completely hungover. Granted, I felt that way because I'd taken a beer from the fridge and downed it before bed. Not the best thing to do before school and after throwing up, but it helped ease my nerves. The events of the night before seemed like a distant dream.
It was foggy and dark outside my window, and I smirked. No reason for Edward not to be at school. I dressed a little better than normal, realizing that my jacket was still with Jessica.
When I got downstairs, Charlie was already gone. Good. I didn't want him lecturing me about the beer. Renee had done a good enough job of that back in Phoenix after I got sucked into a couple parties.
I squinted at the clock, frowning as I realized I had read it wrong the first time. I was running late. I grabbed my beanie and sweatshirt from the door and left without breakfast. Probably a bad idea.
It was unusually foggy; the air was almost smoky with it. The mist was ice cold where it hit my face and hands, making me eager to get the heat going in the truck.
It was such a thick fog that I began to back out of the driveway before I saw the silver car parked behind my own. My heart stopped, then picked up in double time.
I didn't see where he came from, but suddenly he was there, pulling the door open for me.
"Do you want to ride with me today?" he asked, amused by my still sleepy/hungover expression.
"Yeah." I said, killing the engine and getting out. "Sorry I didn't see your car, man. Rough night."
His volvo was nice and warm. I noticed his jacket from the night before was folded on the seat. I picked it up and set it in the back.
"I brought the jacket for you. I didn't want you to get sick or something." Edward said, already next to me and starting the car up.
I noticed that he wore no jacket himself, just a light gray v-neck with long sleeves. The fabric clung to his pecs, making even my foggy brain drool on the inside.
"I'm not that delicate." I chuckled, but I pulled the jacket onto my lap anyway.
We drove through the fog-shrouded streets in awkward silence. Last night all the walls were down. I didn't know if we were still being as candid today. It left me tongue-tied... not that the hangover helped matters. I waited for him to speak, and he did.
He turned to smirk at me. "What, no twenty questions today?"
"No, man. I don't feel up to it." I grimaced as my head gave an unholy throb. "Besides, I thought my questions bothered you."
"Not as much as your reactions." He looked like he was joking, but I really wasn't sure.
"Do I react badly?" I asked, taking off my beanie and running my hands through my hair.
"No, that's the problem. You take everything so coolly... I always wonder what you're thinking."
"I at least usually tell you." I said, putting the beanie back on and reorganizing my front tuft of hair.
"I think you edit."
"Not much.
"That's enough to drive me insane."
"You drive me insane." I growled. As soon as the words were out, I regretted them. He didn't respond, and I wondered if I'd ruined the mood. His face was unreadable as we drove into the school parking lot.
"Where's the rest of your family?" I asked casually. I was glad to have him to myself for the morning, but his car was usually full.
"They took Rosalie's car." He said as we pulled into a spot next to a glossy red convertible with the top up. "Ostentatious, isn't it?"
"Whew baby..." I said, getting out so that I could get closer. I loved it. i reached back in the car for Edward's jacket and put it on. "If she has this, why does she ride with you?"
"Like I said, it's loud. We try to blend in."
"You don't really succeed." I laughed, wincing as it hurt my head. I took another look at the beautiful car. "So why did Rosalie drive if it's more conspicuous?"
"Haven't you noticed? I'm breaking all the rules now." He smirked, leaning in close to my ear. He was about to say something else, but he stiffened.
"Have you been drinking?" He hissed angrily. I flushed.
"Yeah, maybe. Maybe I needed to unwind after what happened last night." Edward recoiled, features livid.
"Beall..." He began.
"Hey Jessica." I said, cutting off Edward's rage just as Jess ran up behind him. She threw my jacket at me and dragged me away. I snuck a glance at Edward. His angry stare told me this was far from over.
By lunchtime, I was a nervous wreck. I debated between going home sick and facing Edward.
I found myself in the lunch line, though my stomach was too upset to even consider eating. I got a ginger ale and a sandwich and slowly made my way to where Edward was sitting, his back to the rest of the cafeteria. I crossed around in front of him and set down my tray.
"Um... Hi." I said awkwardly. His amber eyes flicked up to mine. His expression was unreadable. I cleared my throat. "Can I sit?"
Edward raised his eyebrows. No, I couldn't.
"Look, I'm sorry-" I began.
"Beall, I'm not interested in excuses." He said quietly.
I froze, my mouth open. Then I slowly shut it. I set down my lunch tray and, blinking back tears, I took off his jacket and tossed it on the table before walking out of the cafeteria.
I managed to make it all the way outside before the tears came, mingling with the rain that fell on my face as I walked home.
I stayed home from school the entire week. Aside from not wanting to go and see Edward's face, I got a killer head cold from walking home in the rain without a jacket. I slept literally all week, not even surfacing until friday.
Aside from the aches and snot I had from being sick, I felt awful, and I wasn't sure why.
Yes, okay, I shouldn't have pounded the beer. I didn't need a reprise of what happened in Phoenix.
"Beall, you said that it wouldn't happen again!"
"I know, I'm sorry mom. Jay brought a few beers to the party. I only had one drink."
"Beall, you know how bad this is. Would you please just get help!"
"I'm not seeing a psychologist, mom. I've told you."
"Then what about the school nurse? She can get you help!"
"It was just one, mom."
"You and I both know that one leads to more. I don't like these parties, or your so-called boyfriend."
"Jay is a good guy, mom."
"Then why is a good guy getting you drunk on the weekends?!"
"Mom..."
But the fact that it was Edward's reaction that had me feeling like the biggest dirtbag around made me feel weird. What were we to each other anyhow?
I sighed, suddenly too warm. I stripped off my pajamas and coughed. I hadn't been sick in years, so I guess my karma finally caught up to me.
"Beall? Visitor." Charlie's voice came from the hallway. A knock sounded at the door.
I staggered out of bed and pulled my pajama pants back on. "Hang on." I croaked. "I'm still sick."
I opened the door to reveal Edward.
"Err... S'up?" I asked, keeping my face as neutral as possible. I opened the door for him. He came in. I blew my nose.
"So you're actually sick." He said mildly.
"Yeah. Head cold from hell." I replied stuffily. I blew my nose again, wincing as my ears popped. Edward watched me, eyebrow piqued. I realized that I wasn't wearing a shirt and flushed bright red, grabbing a t-shirt from the closet.
"Um, you want to sit down?" I asked awkwardly. Edward was smirking at me. Neither of us moved to sit.
"You skip school today?" I tried, looking at the clock. School wouldn't end for another few hours.
"I ditched after second, it got too sunny. I just wanted to see if you were at school or if you were still avoiding me."
"I wasn't avoiding you, I've been home sick. Hell, I don't even remember this week so far." I replied, taken aback at his bluntness.
"I see that now. I was afraid that I'd caused you to move back to Phoenix." He said, dark eyes studying me.
"What would you do if I said yes to that?" I asked curiously. Edward was caught by surprise.
"I would most definitely ask you to stay... I think."
I opened my mouth to reply, but my vision suddenly became very fuzzy and I lost my train of thought. My last coherent thought was that Edward was wearing very nice shoes as they got closer to me.
"Beall?" Edward's voice brought me back to consciousness. I was laying on my bed, Edward was sitting next to me.
"Whoa. What the hell just happened." I asked weakly.
"You passed out right in front of me..." Edward chuckled. "You must be sick."
I noticed his hand was resting lightly on top of mine. His skin felt frigid compared to mine.
"Your hand... It's cold." I remarked. I took it. Edward looked surprised for a moment, then allowed it to happen, smoothing his thumb over the back of my hand.
"It feels good. Last I checked I was almost at 100." I said. Edward let my hand go and pressed his palm to my forehead. I sighed.
"Beall, you shouldn't have walked home." He said, looking almost guilty.
"I didn't really have a choice, did I?" I asked, something catching in my throat as I remembered his expression at lunch.
"I acted foolishly, Beall. I was in shock and I could have controlled myself better. I just couldn't process that a perfect creature such as you could have those kind of troubles."
I vaguely wondered if I was hallucinating this entire scenario. Edward's hand moved from my forehead down to my cheek almost caressingly.
"'M not perfect." I mumbled. My eyelids were getting heavy. "There's lots that y'don't know." Edward frowned. I yawned.
"I'll leave your homework on your desk." Edward said softly. "You rest."
"Mkay." I said, eyes closing.
I could have dreamed it, but I thought I felt a cold pair of lips gently brush my forehead before I heard the door creak closed softly.
"I love you." Jay whispered, pressing his lips to my forehead before rolling off my bed. I sighed happily, watching as he stood up and began dressing. I remembered this night well, it had been our anniversary. He'd brought me my first beer and given me my first time. Later, when things began to go south, he'd told me that I hadn't even been that good of a "fuck". But that night had been happy.
Jay fluffed his hair in the mirror and caught sight of me watching him. He winked at me in the reflection, then turned and came back to the bed.
"You're perfect, you know that right?" I shook my head, blushing.
"Happy Birthday Beall." He whispered before leaning in to kiss me.
He stood, pulling on his jacket.
"I have to go, my mom will throw a fit if I'm any later. I'll see you again soon- Ow!"
I frowned. This wasn't part of the memory. He withdrew his hand from his jacket pocket to reveal a sliced finger.
"Don't worry, my knife flicked open. Just a scratch." He moved to put his finger in his mouth, but paused, eyes wide. I sat up and looked behind me.
Edward was standing in the corner, eyes red and murderous.
"Run, Jay!" I screamed. Jay didn't move. Edward appeared in front of him, moving unhumanly fast. I screamed louder as he grabbed Jay by the throat.
"Please, Edward..." I sobbed. "I love him."
Edward didn't listen, only snapped Jay's neck cleanly in half and began feasting.
The screaming got louder and louder until-
"BEALL!"
I jerked awake, and the screaming stopped. Edward was sitting on top of me.
"GET OFF!" I screamed. "OFF OFF OFF!" Edward gracefully hopped off me, backing away warily. I was in the living room. I'd fallen asleep in front of the TV the night before.
I sat on the edge of the couch and put my head between my knees, trying to slow my breathing down.
"Why... are... you... in my house?" I panted. "Or more importantly... why are you on... top... of me?" I sat up, wiping the sweat and tears off my face. Edward was giving me a concerned look.
"I came to pick you up for school..." Edward said.
"What?" I asked.
"It's Monday, Beall. You're not allowed to be sick anymore. I came early to get you up and going and heard you scream when I walked up."
"Yeah, I do that." I said, running my fingers through my sweaty hair. I caught sight of the mantle clock. "God damn it. Let me go put clothes on. Stay here."
I ran upstairs, swearing as I noticed the pile of undone homework still on the desk. I'd passed out after Edward left friday and I hadn't regained consciousness until sunday, when my fever had broken. I'd stayed pretty low-key, meaning to do my homework after I'd rested a little more, but apparently that hadn't happened.
I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror. I looked gaunt and tired despite all the sleeping I'd done. Perfect. No one would question my illness then. I grabbed the homework and stuffed it in my backpack.
"Jesus Christ," I said as I jumped down the stairs. "I look awful."
Edward didn't say anything in the negative or affirmative, just watched as I ran into the kitchen and grabbed a granola bar, stuffing it into my mouth.
"You can slow down..." He said, watching me eat. "It's only a quarter past." I looked at the clock again. In my still-sleepy state I had indeed gotten the numbers mixed up.
"God damn it." I said, mouth full. "This isn't working. I don't do mondays."
"You're fine. And you look fine too." Edward said, coming towards me.
"I don't feel fine, but thanks." I said, swallowing my granola bar.
"Do you want to stay home?" Edward asked.
"You already got my ass up, I'm taking my ass to school." I replied. "Let's go."
Truthfully, I felt like crap still. But I wasn't going to let Edward see that.
Outside, it was foggy again. I led the way to his volvo and waited patiently at the passenger side. This time Edward didn't come to open the door for me. I noticed that his jacket was laying on the seat again.
"Is this a do-over of last week?" I asked, smiling.
"Maybe." Edward half-smiled back.
We got in and drove to school, the mood surprisingly light. I let Edward's jacket keep my knees warm.
At school we parked in the usual spot beside Rosalie's car and got out. I handed Edward his jacket and he folded it over his arm. I noticed that he looked nice today.
"You look dapper." I remarked, falling into step beside him as we walked.
"Thank you. As I said before, you look nice." He replied politely. I snorted. He raised an eyebrow, but was cut off by Jessica rushing up and pouncing.
"BEALL!" She squealed, knocking me backwards. Luckily Edward put out a hand to keep me from falling flat on my ass.
"Easy, Jess." I said, giving her what I hoped was a tired grimace. "Still not up to 100 percent."
"Oops, sorry!" She said cheerfully.
"Good morning Jessica." Edward said mildly. Jess turned red from head to toe.
"Er... hi!" She said, trying to extend her fake bubbliness towards him as well. "Well, I guess I'll see you in Trig then."
"Bye." I said, beginning to feel drained.
"Are you all right?" Edward asked. I noticed his hand hadn't left the small of my back.
"I'm fine." I replied, clearing my throat. "Just tired."
We began to walk again, and Edward dropped his hand.
"So what's the juicy gossip you're going to tell her?" Edward asked.
"I thought you couldn't read my mind!" I replied, punching him on the arm.
"I can't," he said, startled. Then understanding brightened his eyes. "However, I can read hers - She's going to ambush you again in class."
"Great. Then there will be no one to catch me, and I'll bash my head open on something."
"Knowing you, yes." Edward tossed back, smiling. I laughed as well.
"So what are you going to tell her?" He asked after a minute.
"A little help, O great and powerful one?" I teased. "What does she want to know?"
He shook his head, grin widening. "That's not fair."
"You're not fair."
"Your mom's not fair."
I stopped dead.
"Did you just make a 'your mom' joke with me?"
"No." Edward said, continuing to walk towards the school. I could picture his smirk.
I caught up to him as we reached the school doors. He opened one for me.
"She wants to know if we're secretly dating, how you feel about me, and if I did you any serious damage last week." Edward said, leaning against the door.
"What should I say?" I asked, eyes wide. I didn't move through the door. Several people went around us, giving us weird looks.
Edward pursed his lips, catching my elbow and shoving me through the door, dragging me down to where my locker was. I took the hint and began getting my textbooks out of it. Edward leaned casually against the lockers next to me.
"Well, I suppose you could say yes to the first." He said casually. I fumbled my Trig textbook and dove to retrieve it, my face flaming.
"It is easier than any other explanation..." Edward continued.
"Okay." I replied, desperately trying to keep my voice even as I adjusted my book cover.
"And as for the other two... well, I'll be listening to hear the answers to those myself." One side of his mouth pulled up into what was quickly becoming my favorite kind of smile.
In spite of myself, I fumbled my trig textbook again. When I straightened up, Edward was already walking away.
"I'll see you at lunch." He called over his shoulder.
"See you." I sighed, then promptly began coughing.
The cough persisted through my first two classes, getting worse and worse every time. I had several people offer me cough drops, which I gratefully accepted.
By the time I got to Trig, I was barely functioning, definitely not in the mood for Jessica.
"Wow. You look like crap." She said, wrinkling her nose at the dark bags under my eyes as I sat down and put my head on my desk. "Anyhow, spill."
"What do you want to know?" I asked miserably.
"What happened on the drive home last week?"
"He just bought me dinner and then drove me home. Nothing more."
"Was it a date? Did you ask him to meet you there?"
"Hell no, I barely know the guy."
"Bull. He drove you to school last week and today. By the way, what happened between you two last week?"
"Misunderstanding." I said, clearing my throat. "He called and apologized. No damage done."
"O-kay. So are you going out now?" She asked, eyes bright.
"No," I said, surprising myself. "He hasn't really made his intentions clear. I think I like him, but I'm not sure if he likes me or if we're just friends." Might as well be truthful.
"W-o-w" she exaggerated the word into three syllables. "Did he tell you if he's gay?"
"No." I lied.
"Well, lucky you anyways." She said, adding a pouty face.
"Yeah, lucky me." I said. I began coughing again, and it took several seconds before I could catch my breath.
"That doesn't sound good, Beall. You should go to the nurse..." Jessica said, looking actually concerned.
"I might at lunch if it doesn't go away." I replied. Jessica shrugged and proceeded to yak my ear off about Edward and various other males until the end of the period.
When the lunch bell rang, I shook myself out of my Jessica-induced stupor and dragged myself to the cafeteria. Instead of getting in the lunch line, I just moved over to Edward's usual table. It took a few moments, but he joined me, shoving a tray full of food my way.
"I'm not hungry." I said tiredly.
He ignored me and tossed an apple over. I took it and rolled it between my palms before trying to split it. Edward watched amusedly, then held out his hand for it. I handed it over and he twisted it in half without any effort at all.
"On a good day I can do it." I said tiredly, taking a bite and chewing.
"Take whatever you want." Edward said, gesturing to the tray.
We sat in silence for a minute, Edward picking apart his food and me munching my apple.
"Something you said to Jessica... it bothers me." Edward said. I looked up. His amber eyes were fixed on me.
"I'm not surprised. You know what they say about eavesdroppers. Besides, Jessica makes half of the crap she says up."
"It wasn't Jessica, it was you."
I didn't reply, just took another bite.
"Are my feelings not clear? Do you truly believe that you care more for me than I do for you?" He asked, eyes piercing me.
My insides did this funny squirmy thingy and I felt the urge to giggle, which turned into a cough.
"What?" Edward asked, confused.
"You're doing it again." I said.
"What?" He asked again.
"Dazzling me." I admitted.
"Oh. Are you going to answer the question?"
"Yes." I said, delicately removing an apple seed from my apple half.
"Yes you are going to answer, or yes you really think that?" He was getting annoyed.
"Yes, I really think that. To tell you the truth, you really haven't been clear with me and I don't know what to do about it."
Edward was silent. I focused on nibbling the last bits of fruit from the apple cores.
"You're wrong." He said, his voice velvet soft. I glanced up to see that his expression was gentle.
I opened my mouth to reply, but I began coughing. Suddenly, a piece of apple flew down my throat, and I began choking. Edward was watching me wide-eyed as I tried to pull air into my lungs and failed.
I tried to ask him to help me, but nothing came out. I slipped out of my chair and fell on the floor, trying desperately to breathe.
"Beall, I'm trained in CPR. I'm going to give you the heimlich." Tyler's voice said. A sharp pressure hit me in the ribs and tears spilled out of my eyes onto the floor.
Just as the edges of my vision began to get fuzzy, the apple finally dislodged itself. Tyler let go and I collapsed in an ungainly heap on the floor.
"What's wrong with you! He was choking!" I heard somebody yell, presumably at Edward.
"His eyes are closed!" Someone else said.
"Beall, can you hear me?" Tyler asked.
"Beall?" This time it was Edward. He sounded worried.
"Someone get him to the nurse!" Someone in the back of the room shouted.
"I will." Edward said quietly. I felt cold hands at my knees and back.
"Um, I think that the guy who actually knew how to save your boyfriend should take him." Some girl said.
"He's not my boyfriend." Edward said. I felt us stand up.
"Yeah he is." I murmured.
"What?!" Edward and half the other people in the room all asked at once.
"Yeah. I was so happy when he asked that I accidentally choked. I guess you took that as a no, didn't you." I joked, slapping Edward's shoulder. I sounded like a giggling idiot.
"Beall, I think you need to go to the nurse." Edward said, beginning to walk towards the door.
"Probably good. I think Tyler broke a few ribs." I said sheepishly.
"I'm sorry!" Tyler shouted behind us.
Someone pushed open the door for us and Edward began to walk quickly down the hallway. When we were a good ways away from the cafeteria, he stopped suddenly and set me down.
"What the hell was that?" He asked, pinning me against the lockers.
"I was getting you out of a sticky situation. Easiest explanation." I said. Edward looked upset.
"Beall. Before, I wasn't lying..." Edward said painfully. His eyes went wide. "I don't know what this means."
"It means-" I was cut off by a coughing fit. Edward waited until I was done.
"It means that we're at a stalemate. I feel like I've made my feelings clear and you've only made yours cryptic." I said.
"I see." Edward said, stiffening. He took my elbow and began dragging me to the nurse's office in silence.