Spoilers – The Duane Barry arc, 3 (Sorry).

The weeks passed and still there was no sign of Scully. For other people, life went on, but for Mulder he was stuck in limbo until his partner returned. He turned up to work every day of course, and when he wasn't working he was doing his best to search for any leads in her disappearance, but that was all. He was there in body, but not spirit. Since the night that Maggie Scully had called him and asked him to help calm Ashley down, he'd been a frequent visitor there. As a result, Mulder now had a key to Mrs Scully's house, and often spent his nights searching for monsters in Ashley's bedroom, before reading her fairy tales until she eventually succumbed to sleep. More often than not he was woken up, still sat next to the bed, by Maggie, who directed him to the sofa where he spent the rest of the night. He'd developed a crick in his neck, was living out of an overnight bag and in some ways he missed the privacy of his own apartment, but Ashley needed him and he wasn't about to disappoint her.

He'd returned earlier that evening from investigating a case out in LA. A case he just wanted to forget. He'd originally headed out to California to give himself a break, thinking that he needed something to take his mind off of his failure to find Scully. If he could get to the bottom of the ritualistic murders and actually solve a case, it would mean that he hadn't lost his touch, and perhaps spur him on to find out the truth about his partner's disappearance. His superiors were already questioning his ability to do his job, and Mulder knew that Scully would have wanted him to keep working. And so he'd travelled out to the Sunshine State to investigate what he discovered – to his surprise - to be vampiric serial killings. It was there that he met Kristen, a member of a local vampire club, with links to the previous killings. There was something about her, Mulder realised – maybe it was the way she seemed to know he was hurting, that he was looking for someone – or maybe it was that she was a lost soul, just as he was – and he couldn't help but be drawn towards her. He'd wanted to help her, to ward her away from the world of drinking blood and save her. But instead he slept with her. The instant it was over he regretted it. He'd never done that before – never gotten involved with someone on a case. He knew it wasn't professional, flouting the rules, but there had been a moment when Kristen was shaving him that Mulder just wanted to lose himself in her – to forget everything that was happening back home. And he'd done so, until the moment it was over, and he realised that sleeping with her had been a huge mistake. His first thought had been of Scully, of how she was out there somewhere, alone, frightened, confused and possibly hurt. Next his thoughts turned to Ashley, to the little girl back home, who missed her mom terribly and still couldn't sleep at night for fear of monsters in the dark. He should be out there looking for her mom, he told himself, instead of satisfying his pathetic urges on the bathroom floor of a woman he barely knew. He'd let Scully down, he'd let Ashley down, and then later he let Kristen down, as he looked on while she blew up the house, sacrificing herself to kill the other vampires in her group. Mulder was well and truly alone – Kristen was dead and Scully was missing – which is why he immediately went to see Ashley upon his return. He needed to see her, to beg her for forgiveness and to promise her that he'd never let her down again.

xxxx

Mulder entered the house, taking care not to make any noise at this late hour. The last thing he wanted to do was wake Maggie or let her think someone was breaking in. He didn't even need to be here – Maggie wasn't even aware he was back from LA so she wouldn't have called him even if Ashley had asked for him – but he just needed to see the little girl. Entering her bedroom, he noticed that she was fast asleep, the glow from her recently installed nightlight (she'd developed a fear of the dark over recent weeks) illuminating her peaceful expression. For someone who was so active when she was awake, Ashley slept like the dead at night – barely moving from the time she drifted off to the moment her eyelids fluttered awake. He carefully flicked on the lamp by her bedside before crouching down beside the bed. He'd stay for just a minute, he told himself, just to make sure she was ok. Reassured by her deep, measured breaths, he ran a hand through her hair, his fingers separating the blonde tendrils.

Mulder hesitated when he felt Ashley stir underneath his hand. Seconds later her eyes fluttered open, and she looked at him, puzzled. "Mulder?"

"Hey", he whispered, a lump forming in his throat as tears sprung to his eyes. He was an idiot; a complete and utter fool. Ashley needed him, and yet he'd been across the country, making one of the biggest mistakes of his life. "Go back to sleep sweetheart".

"You look sad".

Shaking his head, Mulder couldn't help but let the tears fall. "I'm ok", he said, trying – and failing – to smile reassuringly. "I've done something stupid Ashley. Something bad. And I'm not sure that you or your mom are going to forgive me when you find out. It was a moment of weakness and I just…I wanted to forget, just for a second. But I've let you down".

Ashley blinked up at him, both sleepy and confused. "You upset mommy?"

He nodded. "She's going to be mad at me".

After taking a moment to consider his words, Ashley sat up in the bed, before reaching out and wrapping her arms around his neck. "Don't cry Mulder. Mommy won't be mad for long. She usually shouts at me, but when I tell her I'm sorry she stops yelling. You just need to say sorry".

Mulder couldn't help but chuckle at her words. She was so young, so innocent, and despite the trauma she'd already experienced in her short life, she still had a positive outlook on everything. "I'll remember that", he replied, hugging her back. As he pulled away and dried his tears, Ashley caught sight of the strand of gold around his neck. "That's mommy's necklace".

"Yes it is".

"Is she coming home soon?"

"I hope so", he replied honestly.

"Me too. Will you and mommy take me to the zoo again when she's home?"

"I'm sure that can be arranged. But…" he added, noting the late hour. "Only if you're a good girl and go to sleep now."

For a moment Ashley looked as though she was about to protest, but then thought better of it. "Will you stay?"

"I'll be downstairs on the sofa". He hoped to be up and out before Mrs Scully woke – she'd only worry if she knew he'd crept into the house in the dead of night. "So don't worry, I'll be here if you need me".

"Will you read me a story?"

Shaking his head, Mulder gestured for Ashley to lay back down. "It's late missy, and you need to sleep".

"I'm not tired".

"Yes you are", he countered as she let out a yawn. "Sleep now and if you're good, I'll come by tomorrow night and read you a story".

Ashley seemed happy with his offer, and eagerly burrowed her head back down into her pillows. "G'night Mulder".

"Goodnight. Sweet dreams". With that he pressed his lips to her forehead and sat back and watched as the little girl closed her eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep. Once he was satisfied that she was out for the count, he rose to his feet, switched off the lamp and headed out of the room and downstairs. He quickly made up the sofa, stripped down to his boxers and undershirt and used the bathroom. No sooner had he settled on the couch, he heard movement coming down the stairs. It was someone on a mission, he could tell by the speed of the footsteps, and he surmised it must be Ashley. Sure enough, as he pushed himself into a seated position, the little girl walked into view. "Ashley?" he whispered, the sound of his voice startling her. "What's wrong?"

"I can't sleep". Without warning, she clambered up onto his lap. "Can I stay down here with you?"

"I don't know Ash, I –"

"Please?"

Sighing, Mulder nodded against her. "Alright". He figured he'd simply wait until she fell back to sleep before taking her upstairs to her own bed. "But only if you go to sleep straight away".

"Is mommy coming home tomorrow?"

He clutched her tightly. "I'm not sure".

She seemed to accept his answer. "I love you Mulder."

Her words took Mulder by surprise. "I love you too", he replied moments later, realising it was true. This little girl had wangled her way underneath his skin, and he knew he'd do anything for her. He may not have been able to protect Scully or even Samantha, but he would do everything in his power to make sure that Ashley was safe, that he knew. Ashley rested her head on Mulder's shoulder, and as he rubbed her back soothingly she fell back into a peaceful sleep. Unwilling to move for the moment, not wanting to disturb the little girl on his lap, Mulder rested his head against the back of the sofa. Moments later he joined Ashley in a deep sleep.