new chapter. i had writer's block, as usual. rps snapped me out of it and i wrote the chapter up in a day. and yeah, you can kill me for the cliffhanger/ plot twist, if you'd like. but let me tell you, and assure you, there is more to this twist. there is another twist. so don't think you know it all yet. because you don't. have fun!

Heavenly

It was one of those rare times. One of the actual times where Riku was nice to Sora. They were up in Sora's room, playing a game of cards. Riku was purposely letting Sora win. The silveret was fascinated at how Sora beamed brightly when he won. That smile Sora possessed had to be heavenly. It brightened up the room and made the thin wires around Riku's hair pull. The silveret would blush hotly and look away, pretending to be shuffling the deck with intense concentration—anything to keep Sora from figuring out that he was infatuated with the boy he constantly picked on.

"You look tired," Riku noted as he slid an ace of clubs back and forth on his carpet. He sighed and looked up to the brunet. "You should sleep."

"Hm?" Sora yawned as he leaned his chin into his hands. "I'm not tired. I'm just…zoning out," he laughed, averting his gaze with a soft blush. It was quite obvious that he was tired; he just didn't want to admit it to his friend, that was all. Anyone could tell by the bags under his beautifully bright blue eyes that captivated the other's soul.

"Liar," Riku chortled as he began shuffling the cards back into one neat deck. He reached across the floor and took the cards out of Sora's hands. "We'll play again later. Just go to sleep for now," he ordered calmly, voice soft and almost nurturing.

Sora's blush grew. "Wow, you're being awfully nice," he noticed, stretching his tanned arms drowsily above his head. A yawn escaped his lips while he did such.

"Eh, don't make too much of it," Riku murmured as he put the deck away in its case. He averted his gaze once more, not allowing Sora the honor of eye contact. No, for if he did that, the brunet would surely see the hot blush that was staining not only his face, but his eyes.

"Fine, fine," Sora laughed. He tossed Riku a warm smile before standing up once again, stretching for a second time. Silently, the brunet traversed through the bedroom and plopped down on the bed, curling up instantly. He hugged his knees tightly to his chest and closed his eyes, inhaling the clean scent of Riku's bed.

"Comfortable?" Riku laughed under his breath, watching Sora's thin body with fascination. His eyes greedily wandered along the frame, silently harboring sinful thoughts of touching it, kissing it, adoring it. He gulped painfully and sat on the edge of the bed, making sure not to touch Sora whatsoever. Touching him anywhere would be too much of a temptation.

"Of course," Sora hummed, a bright smile appearing despite his eyes being closed. He yawned again, nuzzling his youthful face into the pillow. "You gonna go to bed now, Riku?"

"Nah, I'll stay up," he reasoned, shaking his head. He knew Sora couldn't see the gesture, but he figured he could hear it. "You just rest. I'll be here when you wake up, promise," he reassured the brunet.

"Okay," Sora said in a tired voice, nodding weakly. He breathed in deeply. "I really like when you're like this, Riku…it's…nice."

Riku smiled a bit, simply because Sora could not see it. He allowed the brunet a few moments to fall asleep. When he was certain the boy was asleep, due to his light snoring, he reached out and brushed his pale fingers through the brown tresses. It was tempting, yes, but not as tempting as it would have been if Sora was awake.

His aquamarine eyes glued to Sora's parted lips. And those lips drew him in instantly. Wearily, the silveret crouched on all fours on the bed, over to where Sora slept. Despite all his morals and the warnings running about in his head, Riku laid down beside Sora, allowing their legs to gently brush against one another. He smiled to himself, adoringly brushing his hand through Sora's hair over and 

over. It was a side of him that no one ever saw. A side that Sora even rarely saw. "You keep doing these crazy things to me…"

Without a care in the world, he brushed his soft lips to Sora's, shuddering down to the core from the electric shock that entered his body. The kiss rendered him breathless and aroused him in more ways than one. He allowed his lips to linger there, to taste Sora's, before pulling away a fraction. And he knew, deep down, that his first kiss would be his last with Sora.

He just knew it.

xxxxxxxxxxx

Life isn't fair, they always told him. You can't always get what you want, they drilled into his head. All is fair in love and war, life is meant to be confusing, and your heart speaks its own language. They were all sayings he had commonly heard growing up. But now, considering he was an angel, did these rules apply? Were they common law? Was it a code of angels? He highly doubted that. Regardless, he remained sitting lifelessly at his kitchen table, face hidden from view. His breathing was heavy and he almost seemed in a sleep-like state. Sunlight leaked in through the windows and attempted to pierce through the brunet's eyes. It didn't work.

"Snow melts pretty quickly around here."

Sora lifted his head from its makeshift cushion formed by his arms. Dreary blue eyes stared wearily at the silveret, heavily contemplating whether or not to answer. The prior won the silent feud. "Really wouldn't know from experience," he mumbled groggily, glimpsing at the clock. Noon already?

"Right," Riku answered, an airy chuckle dispersing from his lips. He removed his body from the chair and took up residence beside the brunet. "Sor, you look horrible."

"Angels can't get sick," he murmured, flicking his gaze away from Riku. "I'm fine."

"Can't get sick?" Riku wondered incredulously. His eyebrows knitted together in confusion. Carefully, he extended his pale hand and placed it on Sora's arm, his fingers curling around the appendage. "Then what do you call the other night? Willingly throwing up all night?"

Sora flinched, his arms stiffening at the words and touch. "Riku, I meant…"

"I'm your boyfriend now. You don't have a reason to lie to me," he quipped, staring accusingly at the angel. Silver hair fell sporadically over his blotchy face, giving him the appearance of a bed-ridden adult. He didn't look all that good himself, but that was a completely different topic that he really wasn't in the mood to go into. No, this conversation was about Sora.

Sora couldn't take it. The angel began shaking uncontrollably. His skinny fingers dug into the soft flesh of his palm as his breathing came out labored. Blue eyes screwed shut tightly, his heartbeat increasing. "No reason to lie to you, huh? Then what's your excuse?"

"What?..." Riku fell silent. What did he know?

"Was it your intention to keep me away from Leon when he knew it was me? Are you some sick bastard or something?" Sora spat, his eyes watery and his voice shaky. "You told me not to tell him it was me. Why, Riku? He already knew it was me!"

"I didn't know he did," Riku lied quickly. He arose from his seat and quickly circled the kitchen table. His arms encircled the hysteric angel, tugging him closer. "Sora…Sora, hush," the silveret murmured, pulling Sora into his standing form.

At once, the brunet buried his head into the taller's abdomen, his shaky hands clutching at Riku's sides as he remained seated.



"I didn't know Leon knew," Riku went on to say, his hands combing through brown locks of hair. "I didn't want him to fall into another depression spell." His voice softened and he slid onto his knees, allowing Sora to retract his head.

The pair eyed each other for a long moment. Riku remained on his knees on the floor, watching his brunet boyfriend with careful observation. Sora held back a few frustrated snivels, his harsh blue eyes matching Riku's gaze. Neither said anything for a long moment. When Riku realized that Sora wasn't going to speak, he instead leaned forward and placed his mouth precariously close to Sora's ear. "I'm sorry," he whispered breathily.

Sora's body went stiff. Not once did the crafty words register as a lie in his mind. No, he was so focused on the hot breath on his ear and the pale hand now upon his thigh. He felt intoxicated, weak. "He knew," he repeated, eyes heavy.

"Sora…" Riku murmured, his breath tickling the crook of the angel's neck. "If I had known that Leon had figured it out, I would have told you."

Leon's words trickled back into Sora's mind. His brain was working far too much and far too quickly. "He told me a few days ago to tell you…to tell you that he told you so. Or something like that." Sora trailed off, voice falling to a scant whisper. "What was he talking about, Riku?"

"Nothing," Riku assured quickly, his hand lifting. Five delicate digits caressed Sora's cheek and provided warmth. A pair of aquamarine hues matched Sora's wide blue ones. "I don't know what he was talking about, but I'm sure it's nothing. If anything, he meant that I would end up with you again. I doubt he could have meant anything else." His voice grew softer, "That's all, Sora."

Sora lowered his gaze, his heartbeat finally slowing. "I'm being paranoid again," he realized, his chest falling and deflating quickly.

"Just a bit," Riku chuckled, his fingers rubbing Sora's warm cheek. "But it's okay. I'd rather have you ask questions and vent. I really don't want you to explode, so I'll take the venting." He leaned closer and pressed a reassuring kiss to the center of the brunet's forehead.

Sora breathed out evenly through his nose. Obediently, he leaned into Riku again, his fingers twining around the soft fabric of Riku's shirt. The gentle ticking of his kitchen clock lulled him into a steady breathing. It was so peaceful resting in Riku's arms. "Thank you," he mumbled, eyes shutting. His defenses fell and his anger seeped away. For that brief moment, he truly believed everything Riku told him. In that brief moment, he truly believed that Riku loved him, deep down.

Riku chuckled gently and stood up fully. He eased Sora out of the death grip he had on him. "Let's just relax in the living room, okay?" he offered, aquamarine eyes twinkling down at his angel. A small smile graced his perfect lips.

"All right," Sora sighed. The angel carefully got to his feet and walked through the kitchen and into the living room. After a brief traverse, he collapsed ontot he couch and buried his face into the nearest pillow. He inhaled its familiar scent and closed his eyes once more. "Much more comfortable," he murmured into the plush fabric.

Riku laughed once more.

Sora peeked up from his resting spot. "Your laugh…I really do like it. It's rare," the brunet murmured with a faint blush. He laughed a bit under his breath as well and watched Riku take a seat beside him.

"Rare?" Riku reiterated. He blinked a few times and looked Sora over. The way the brunet was sitting there, he just looked so vulnerable, so adorable, so innocent, and most importantly, so devoid of hatred in every single form. Brown hair framed his full face and it was hard to look away. So Riku continued staring, getting comfortable on the couch that he and Sora often sat upon and spent their limited days left together on.



"What're you staring at?" Sora wondered, one blue eye watching Riku from behind the pillow he held. His smile was hidden but his body language portrayed the curvature of his lips.

"You," Riku answered simply. His right arm extended outwards and looped around Sora securely. A grin danced onto the silveret's face as he lowered his face to Sora's hidden one. He paused a few inches from Sora's face, watching as the angel lowered the pillow so he could directly stare at his now close boyfriend. Their faces remained extremely close for a long moment.

Riku's fingertips danced down Sora's forearm. Another reassuring smile appeared and he brushed his lips tenderly against Sora's nose. "You're simply gorgeous, Sora," he breathed. His lips removed themselves from the brunet's nose and glided down to the small patch of skin above Sora's lips, under his nose. Those crafty lips kissed that area a few times before finally pressing a quick kiss to Sora's sweet lips.

"You trying to get on my good side?" Sora murmured breathlessly, eyes heavy with defeat. He wasn't in the mood to struggle, think, or argue. He wasn't in the mood to think rationally and figure out the lies Riku had fed him moments prior. Right now, this was just good enough.

"Perhaps," Riku laughed. He brought his wrist back towards his body and pulled away from Sora a bit. The brunet watched him in silent confusion. Only one, simple kiss? The angel cocked a brow and watched as the silveret surveyed the tattoo around his wrist. A perplexed look appeared and he smirked carefully.

"What?" Sora wondered, sitting up straight. Oh well. One kiss was better than nothing, after all.

"Remember when I told you this said life?" Riku asked with an amused expression. His lips curled up into a devious smirk.

"Uh, yeah. I remember," Sora said and nodded. The angel watched with fascination as Riku's left finger traced the black tattoo.

"Well, yeah. It does mean life. I mean, at least to me." Sora didn't seem to get it. Riku cleared his throat and continued, "It doesn't say life exactly. In fact, it says something else entirely." His green eyes lifted off his wrist and landed on Sora's inquisitive blue. "Want to take a wild guess?"

"Uhm…well, considering you don't believe in heaven and hell…or at least you didn't before I showed up…" He trailed off and decided on a shrug as his answer. "I don't know, Riku. Why don't you tell me?"

"You're denser than I thought," sighed the silveret. "You don't even know your own name in Japanese. What a pity."

"You got my name tattooed on your wrist?" Sora asked skeptically. Curiously, he grabbed for Riku's wrist and brought it to his eye level. The tattoo was awfully pretty.

"Yep," Riku answered. He waited until Sora's gaze wandered back to his to speak again. "I got it there for a reason." He paused. "It's over my vein, right? I did that on purpose. When I lost you, I had a horrible time keeping myself alive. I contemplated killing myself a few times, but then when I saw your name on my wrist, I realized I couldn't take the easy way out. I had to live out my life and live through the pain—the pain I had caused you. I couldn't kill myself. I knew you wouldn't want such a thing."

Sora blinked. And again. And again. "That has to be the darkest, yet romantic thing I've heard for a long time."

"Well, what'd you expect from me?" He grinned and closed his eyes. Silence befell the pair. "Sora, I'm really, really glad you're here."



Sora glanced back up at Riku. The angel eyed his boyfriend for a long while. He seemed so peaceful—so at ease. With a soft smile of his own, Sora nodded briskly. "Yeah, I know you are, Riku."

"I know you'll never forgive me for what I did. Hell, I'll never forgive myself, but at least I can say that we had this month," he murmured a bit drowsily, sea green eyes closing. He appeared bothered all of a sudden. Just partly. Not enough for Sora's suspicions to be aroused, though.

Sora's heart paused momentarily. "…do you believe in fate?"

Riku cracked open one eye. "Fate?" he echoed.

"Yeah…you don't really believe in heaven or hell, but what about fate? Destiny?" the brunet murmured as he scooted closer to Riku on the couch. The small male cuddled close against Riku's side and closed his eyes, inhaling Riku's alluring scent. A scent he thought he would never be able to smell again. It relaxed him and reassured him that this was all going to be okay. Even if he left when the month was over, he could say that he had worked things out with Riku and that he had been with him. That he had dated Riku Karada.

"Fate," Riku whispered, chuckling ironically under his breath. "Sure, Sora."

Sora smiled and closed his eyes, attempting to take a nap. "When you leave for work, don't wake me," he murmured, sticking close to Riku's warm side. "I'll complete my job…I'll save you from yourself, Riku…"

Riku nodded and allowed his brunet boyfriend to drift into sleep. He was so cute when he slept. After a moment, when Riku was certain that Sora had passed out, his hands wandered into Sora's brown hair. The tattoo seemed to burn around his wrist. "No, Sora…I don't believe in fate. Because if I did, I wouldn't feel so damn worried about the future…"

He kissed Sora's cheek. "I'm sorry…"

His words fell onto deaf ears, simply soft whispers in the quiet December air.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

When Sora received the call on his cell phone later that night from Axel, requesting his attendance at his house, he wasn't sure what to expect. Riku wasn't due home until eight and Sora figured that he could afford to spend an hour at Axel's house. After all, other than Riku, Axel was Sora's best friend. The least the brunet could do was visit him from time to time. And perhaps, maybe, get some answers from the redhead. That'd be the day.

So, around seven, Sora arrived at Axel's doorstep. The brunet angel yawned and knocked, rubbing his eyes. He was still a bit groggy from his nap but he figured it would wear off. These types of things usually went away with time. With another yawn, Sora covered his mouth and waited for Axel to answer the door. I wonder what he wants to talk about…maybe he just wants to see me as much as he can before I leave again. I don't blame him.

"Sora," Axel greeted as he opened the door. His cat-like eyes locked with Sora's tired blue ones. "Glad you could make it," he stated airily.

"Of course," Sora answered automatically. He offered his friend a smile. It was odd. He was always himself with Axel. Was that because axel had never done anything to hurt him like Riku did? That was probably the reason. After all, Sora was usually a kind and warm person. It was rare that he was cruel or sarcastic. It seemed like he was only like that lately because of the whole you're dead thing.

"Come in," Axel ushered. The skinny redhead stepped aside and allowed Sora entry into his apartment. And the last time Sora was here…



A shiver slipped down Sora's spine at once. A cold shiver, at that. His breath hitched and he followed Axel inside the cozy apartment. The last time I was here we ended up making out. He gulped and looked at Axel, feeling a bit light-headed. Is it bad that I like his kisses almost as much as…as much as Riku's? He shook away the thought. No, he told himself sternly. You're finally dating Riku. Now is not the time to stare at your other best friend with curiosity.

"You okay, Sora?" Axel wondered as he stalked into his kitchen. He returned a moment later with two cold cans of coke. He took a seat on his sofa and propped his feet upon on the coffee table, handing Sora a can.

"Yeah, fine," Sora answered quickly as he sat down beside his friend. "Just a bit out of it. My apologies."

"It's fine," Axel chuckled and popped open his can. He inhaled deeply and took a quick swig of his beverage. "So, you look kind of worn out. What did you do today?"

"Slept," Sora admitted with a soft laugh. "I was planning on exploring the city but I ended up sleeping on Riku. He didn't mind though," he admitted, shaking his head to the right with embarrassment. Perhaps he shouldn't bring up Riku with Axel. It wasn't really a good idea in his mind.

"You sleep a lot," Axel noted as he took another sip. "You, Sora, are quite an amusing person. You're like a sloth."

"Hey! I'm not lazy!" Sora argued, a frown appearing on his face as he fingered the tab to his own soda. "I just…like to sleep! That's not that slothy. Right?" Frown. "Geez, Axel. When did you get so mean?" A fake pout ensued.

"Since ever, sweetheart," Axel countered jokingly, reclining back a bit more on his sofa. "But anyway, isn't this the life? Sitting here, on a comfortable sofa, drinking soda, watching a turned off television with your best friend."

"It is," Sora laughed softly, nodding. The brunet took a sip and closed his eyes. The fizz tickled his throat but he did his best to ignore it. It had been awhile since he last had Coke. "I went to see Leon last night," he began, his voice quiet and serious.

"Oh?" Axel opened an eye and looked to Sora curiously. "And what did he say?"

"He told me he knew it was me, Axel," Sora deadpanned seriously, looking to his redhead friend acutely. "Why does everyone know it's me?"

"It's…not my place to say," Axel murmured and averted his gaze. "If it was, Sora, I'd be the first person to say something. You know that, right?"

"So there is something I don't know," Sora concluded with a heavy sigh. He didn't feel all that happy anymore. "Let me guess, you, Leon, and Riku know what's going on, right? Who else is in on whatever you guys are doing?"

Axel cleared his throat and shook his head. "Sora, it's not like that," he cut in. "It just doesn't involve me and therefore doesn't concern me. I, for one, want to enjoy the time I have with you. I'm sorry if that bothers you." He cocked an accusing, fiery brow.

"I'm just saying that I'm getting really confused and irritable lately, Axel. I want to know what everyone knows except me. And yeah, it should concern you if it involves me. It does involve me, right? I mean, why else would you guys guard whatever secret it is?" He sighed to himself afterwards, placing the soda on the table. He wasn't in the mood for it anymore, either.

"Sora—"

"And Riku probably is the ringleader, right?" Sora guessed lamely.



"Sora, listen—"

"It's okay, Axel. Keep lying to me. You're just like Riku…But hey, I'm used to people keeping secrets from," he began but was cut short. Axel's lips had hotly closed over his and he was at once rendered speechless. His blue eyes fluttered shut and he felt his soft, placid lips being meshed and massaged. His heartbeat increased tenfold and he wasn't sure whether to struggle or not. Axel's kisses were so demanding and hot…like fire.

"Don't compare me to him, ever," Axel groaned, pulling away from the kiss. He licked his lips and stared at Sora greedily. "I truly, truly hate him, Sora."

"Okay I'm confused," Sora whispered, touching his lips. "You guys said you were friends…More lies?"

"How can I be friends with someone who killed my best friend and bullied him? More importantly, how can I be friends with him when he is so fucking lucky? And then he goes flaunting off what he has," Axel growled, looking at Sora with a look that could kill.

"I don't get it…"

"Sora…" Axel calmed himself and set his soda down that he had been carefully holding, even during the kiss. The fiery male leaned closer and brushed his skinny hand along the curve of Sora's cheeks. "He's a lucky fuck, you know that?"

"…Because we're dating?" Sora stated worriedly, gulping as he watched his best friend. His body grew warm and he tried his best not to lean into Axel's touch—tried his best to remain faithful to Riku.

"That, and because the asshole can have you whenever he wants to…he can have you in every single way and I can't," Axel breathed, his breath hot as fire on Sora's skin.

Sora gulped again and looked up at the ceiling. His mind was blurring. "No Axel, he can't. I'm an angel."

"What the hell does that have to do with sex?" Axel muttered as he remained impossibly close to the angel. He was practically on Sora's lap by now. His catlike eyes remained glued to Sora's flustered form, watching him like a tiger.

"We went through this. I'd kill him if we had sex. He's human."

Pause.

Twitch.

"I am sick of this," Axel decided, pulling away from Sora. His breathing escalated. "I am fucking sick of Riku lying to you over and over. First about Leon, then about all of this."

"What?"

"He hasn't told you anything?"

"Told me what?" Sora perked up, forgetting about their heated kiss moments prior.

"I can't believe him. He gets you back for a month and continues to deceive you. I'm tempted to go over there right now and set him ablaze. But really, that wouldn't do any good," he muttered darkly as he kicked his coffee table in violent rage. His body trembled slightly from the anger that coursed through his body.

"Axel! What are you talking about?!"

"Riku hasn't told you…"

"Told me what," Sora begged, latching onto his friend's arm. "What hasn't he told me?"



"The real reason you're here, Sora."

"The…what?"

Axel took a deep breath, looked Sora square in the eye, smiled weakly, and then stated in the softest voice he could, "Riku's dead, Sora…He has been for four years."

xxxxxxxxxxx

Riku's gaze locked with his bedroom clock. The minute hand continued ticking murderously. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. His pale hands dove into his strands of silver, tugging at the ends of his hair with frustration. It had been years now since Sora died, yet he couldn't get over the hurt that the death had brought him. He had gotten over it, for a few months at least, but it always came back. He had turned to drugs, to alcohol, to anything that would keep his mind off Sora. But he couldn't bring himself to sex. He couldn't touch another human being that way, knowing that he had never touched Sora like that.

"I can't take this," Riku groaned as he covered his ears, trying to block out that damn ticking noise. And the ticking wasn't even what was bothering him. No, it was the voices he kept hearing. The voices of himself and Sora in this room. The voices saying childish things, playing, laughing, and it was just driving him nuts. He kept having flashbacks in the middle of the night and day, disrupting his life when all was going well. It was so much to handle.

"Just leave me alone," he begged into the pillow, banging his face into it. He needed to stop thinking such dark thoughts. He had, several times that day, stared at the tattoo on his wrist, wishing that it wasn't there. If it hadn't been there, he would have ended it all with one single swipe. He would have. He swore it.

"Sora…" he moaned into the pillow, mind throbbing. Not even all the drugs he was hyped up on at this moment could clear his mind from the brunet. He had often awoke, dreaming that he had been kissing Sora, fucking Sora…alive and dead. His mind was twisted and sick and he wanted to escape this dark reality he had plunged himself into when he had accidentally pulled that damn trigger.

"I'm sorry…" he whispered weakly into the pillow, clenching at the blankets. He felt his mind spinning. He wanted it all to be over, he really did. He needed it to be over. He doubted he could stand another fight, another drug, another night… The room spun a bit as he remained on the bed, breathing irregular.

"Sora…I'm so sorry," he muttered desperately, trying to cleanse his mind. All those drugs…how many had he taken again? God, he didn't even care right now. Perhaps it was too many. Oh, he just didn't care anymore. As long as it meant getting Sora off his mind…and yet, not even that worked. Getting high, drunk, none of that worked. None of it kept Sora off his mind. The alcohol was his only friend nowadays and without Sora, it was all he had. Sora…

And he really didn't care when his own heart stopped. It wasn't like he was taking care of himself. He had lost the will to live when he took his own love's life.