Chapter 14: The Final Exam
Once I have dropped Tris off near the initiate's dorm, I make my way back to my own room in wonder. Tonight has been so emotionally draining. Not only reliving my fears for the first time since my final exam, but seeing Tris with Tobias. It is an image that has haunted me over the past few weeks from when he first laid eyes on her and only recently have I understood why this bothered me. Tris is everything I could want in a girlfriend, most importantly she sees me for who I truly am, not who I pretend to be and that means everything. Yet there is a nagging doubt that Tobias could steal her away from me with little effort. I've never had a girlfriend and I'm not a particularly romantic person. For the first time my reputation works against me.
I flop onto my bed and think about the final exam tomorrow. Once we give the results I need to inject all of Dauntless with a simulation that will change our lives forever. Yet it would hurt the only person I have ever cared about more than myself. Can I give up a lifetime of work, just for her? I've already told her I will help stop this plan, but it is just so hard to give up everything I've worked so hard for. Questions and plans whirl around in my head until I decide I won't be getting any sleep. I get up and head for the training room.
Four is already in there and I have to clench my fist to prevent from punching him for something he didn't even really do.
"What do you want Eric?" He asks me coldly. I stare at him for a second. This is it. I have to make a decision. If I go through with the plan then I have no reason to be here. If I do then I will need his help. I cannot stop the serum and keep Tris safe. Tris will be my only priority now. And that is my choice.
"I need a word." I glance up at the camera and he understands.
"Fine." He stalks off towards a darkened corridor and I follow. We stop in the pitch black in a tunnel that I know has no camera in. "What?" His tone is angry.
"Tomorrow the Dauntless leaders have a plan to inject the entire Dauntless faction with a serum that will put everyone except the Divergent under their control. It's from Erudite."
"Why are you telling me this?" He questions suspiciously.
"Because I need to protect Tris. And for that I need your help. Tris is something we can both agree on. We need to protect her." I say, knowing his weakness. I can practically hear his mind working.
"What do you have in mind?"
"I'm going to give you and Tris fake injections. I can't take the risk of either of you being put under their control Divergent or not. I will then order you up to the control room. From there you should be able to knock out the leader who will be there and stop the simulation. I have told Tris to make her way somewhere safe until it is all over where I can collect her later."
"Tris is not going to want to stay put. She will want to help."
"I know. I'm working on a way to keep her there. Don't know how yet. But either way, I need your help to stop the simulation. I have to usher all the Dauntless to the train and look for any divergents. Then I will have to head to Abnegation which is where they are going to attack first. Jeanine wants them wiped out."
"Then we need to stop Jeanine. There will be no peace until she is stopped."
"I agree. I will take a small loyal taskforce into Erudite headquarters under the pretence of needing to speak with her. Once in we should be able to kill her."
"Ok. What do I do after stopping the Simulation?"
"Wipe the program. Delete anything that can possibly be used to restart it and then join me in Abnegation. You're coming with me to get rid of Jeanine." As my eyes grow accustomed to the gloom, I see him nod.
"Fine." He agrees out loud.
"It will begin at 11pm. Be ready." With that I walk off back to my apartment. I just want this to be all over.
I still have no idea how I will get Tris to agree to stay in my apartment. I could potentially drug her but that would cost me her trust. The question is, is her trust worth her life? I need to speak with her. Tomorrow she will be going through one of the worst experiences she will encounter in Dauntless, if I manage to stop Jeanine, and then we will be administering serum so time will be tight. It is a while before I drift off to sleep.
I wake up to Max banging on the door loudly.
"Eric, get your lazy ass up!"
"What?" I mumbled.
"Final exams start in ten minutes. Get down to the pit now." He calls through the door. I curse under my breath.
"Coming." I yell back, falling out of bed with a thump and scrambling to find some pants. After putting my shirt on inside out and attempting to put my pants on upside down I finally manage to get dressed properly. I don't have time for breakfast so I jog straight to the Pit and follow the other leaders into the room where we watch the fear landscapes from. As they go in reverse order Tris will be last.
Most of the landscapes are boring. The initiates all have between nine and twenty fears. I wasn't surprised to see that Peter had sixteen. I know he is a coward and watching his cower from me telling him he is out of Dauntless is very satisfying. The most interesting this was noting that Tris' friend Christina is afraid of moths. That is not a fear I have seen before and it makes up all chuckle slightly. I do shudder slightly while watching Molly's fear of spiders, something Max notices with a grin in my direction. I roll my eyes at him. Finally it is Tris' turn. I watch with baited breath as she faces the crows I remember from her simulations. She gets past them very quickly and I see Max consulting his watch and making a note on his paper.
Then she appears in a tank that is rapidly filling with water. I didn't expect it to feel so horrible watching Tris combat her fears and I realise how she must have felt going through my landscape last night. I'm so busy musing I almost miss the change of scene. We are surrounded by water and I feel my own breath running short. Tris is drowning. It's like a combination of my own fear and hers. Thankfully she has the sense to climb up onto a rock. They all seem to revolve around her fear of not being in control.
The next fear is her being tied up by the other initiates. Before Peter manages to light the fire Tris makes it rain and we move on again. Now Tris is in a room that looks like it belongs in Abnegation. I realise it is her bedroom, except the mirror. Abnegation wouldn't allow mirrors in bedrooms. As I hear Tris gasp I spot the man in the window. She seems to recognise him although I can't think where from. Suddenly more people appear in the window, banging it with their fists. The window suddenly breaks and Tris screams. She backs into the closet and the fear dissolves. I breathe deeply, I haven't seen that fear before.
The next room takes shape and I see Tris standing by a bed. I see myself walking up to her and I am confused. Is Tris afraid of me. I notice that she looks equally confused and realise she has no idea what's going on either. The simulated version of me walks right up to her and starts kissing her. I blink stupidly aware of the other leaders half looking at the sim and half looking at me. Sim me is now pulling at the zipper of her jacket and I see understanding in Tris' eyes at the same time I get it. She is afraid of sex. Hopefully the other leaders will see this as she is scared of me forcing myself on her as opposed to relationship sex. I can't hide a kernel of hurt I feel even though I realise it is more about sex in general rather than being afraid of me making her. At least, that is what I hope. I make a mental note to reassure her I wouldn't push her any further than she wants.
Finally Tris pushes me away and says firmly that she won't have sex with me in a simulation. The leaders are laughing and throwing glances at me that I steadily ignore. She pushes me away and instantly there is a click as a faceless women holds a gun to Tris' head. It is all I can do not to go to her and push her behind me, away from all danger, but I know Tris is capable enough to handle this herself. The women morphs into Jeanine and tells Tris to shoot her family. They all tell her to, that they won't mind. Jeanine counts down and as she reaches one Tris turns the gun to her own forehead. I literally have to bite my tongue to stop myself yelling to her. That is it. Seven fears. What is it with those Abnegation and having so few fears?
Tris comes out and I smile at her. "Well done Tris. You have successfully completed your final evaluation. The banquet will be held in two hours time and rankings will be announced. One last thing before you go, you need to be injected with a tracking device for if people go missing."
"Do people go missing often?" She asks, arching one eyebrow acting perfectly as if she didn't know the truth.
"Not very." I force my signature smirk onto my face. "But better safe than sorry." I hold up the fake injection I have prepared and brush a strand of hair from her neck. I inject her and tell her she is free to go. As she leaves I whisper telling her to meet me in my apartment in ten minutes.
"Well, that was enlightening." Max grins, winking at me.
"Oh shut up. That's a typical Abnegation fear. It could have been anybody, I'm just the scary instructor." There is still a few rounds of snickering before Max shuts everyone up. We discuss the rankings and I know that Tris is first. She will be offered the first pick of jobs even though the other leaders think that she will not get a chance to complete it due to the war Jeanine is planning. If I have my way then Tris will get the opportunity to have whatever job she likes and a perfect life in Dauntless. Of course there will be trials and so Max and the others involved with the plan will be probably killed. Myself possibly included.
I head to my apartment to meet Tris. This is not a talk I'm looking forward to. She is waiting for me when I arrive and I quickly let us both in. Immediately I feel her arms around my waist as I close the door and I relish in the feeling.
"You did really well today." I tell her.
"Thanks." Her smile is slightly shy and slightly nervous. She must think I'm upset about the sex one.
"So, your fear of intimacy goes real deep then, huh?" I ask, making my voice as casual as possible. Tris stiffens in my arms.
"I'm sorry you had to see that. I don't really think you would do that." She hurries to reassure me and I do sigh in relief.
"Well that's good because I thought I would have to repeat myself. I would never do that to you Tris. We go at your pace." She smiles up and me and I guide her to the couch.
"We do need to talk about tonight though. I've spoken to Four…"
"You spoke to Four? How much blood was involved?" Tris asked with a grin. I chuckle loudly.
"I think you know me too well. But there was no blood. It was probably the most civil conversation we've ever had. I've agreed to give him a fake injection as we already discussed. He will go to the control room and wipe the program. Everyone should return to normal relatively quickly."
"Well that's good."
"Yes, but I am going to have to shepherd everyone to the train and then go to Abnegation, which is where the 'army' will be heading first."
"What? You can't let them destroy an entire faction!"
"Tris, I'm trying to stop that happening. Once he has shut off the program, Four will join me in Abnegation where we will lead a small force to Erudite with the aim of killing Jeanine. She is too dangerous to keep alive or this will never be truly over."
"I want to go with you." She says immediately. This is what I was afraid of.
"Tris, you can't."
"Why not? Am I not Dauntless enough?" She spits.
"Of course you are, don't be ridiculous." I snap back. I take a deep breath, trying to calm down and keep the conversation civil. "However, neither Four or I will be able to concentrate on doing our job if you are there. Both of us will be trying to keep you safe instead of focusing on what we need to do. It doesn't matter if we know you can take care of yourself. You being there will be a distraction."
"I can help. You need people you can trust to go with you against Jeanine." She protests.
"I know. Between Four and I, we will have enough people. Please Tris, as soon as you see people under the serum you need to make your way here. You will be safe here and I can focus on ending this problem." I pull her into my side. "I can't stand the idea of anything happening to you."
"But, I don't want to feel helpless and useless. All my friends will be out there under simulation, killing innocent people. I can't just stay here and worry that you won't come back."
"I will always come back. You can't get rid of me that easy." I try for a smirk but she still looks both angry and worried. "Please Tris. Do this, for me." I finally resort to begging. She stares at me for a while. Then I see resolve harden in her eyes.
"Ok." She acquiesces. I blink stupidly. She just agreed? A grin works its way onto my face and I bury my face in her hair.
"Thank you." I murmur. We spend the rest of the next two hours much more pleasantly. I show her my collection of books and we lie on the bed just talking and kissing. It is the best two hours I have ever spent. Finally it is time for the final rankings. I know Tris is first, but I want it to be a surprise for her. It is decided that I will go in first and she will come after so it doesn't look like we were together. The Pit is far too crowded. I hate this many people in one place, but I make my way to the podium. Checking my watch, I see it is five minutes to and I scan the crowd in front of me. Christina and Will seem to be holding hands. I spot Four scowling by the entrance. Soon, Max is by my side and it is time.
"Silence!" I call out and the effect is almost immediate. "Today we will be welcoming our new Dauntless members. They have worked hard for the past few weeks and deserve a place in our faction. By accepting their place, they all finally embrace our motto. 'Faction before blood'. Initiates, you will choose jobs in Dauntless based on your rankings. First place picks first and so on. Some jobs are only part time so you may apply for two. Peter Hayes and Drew Jameson. You are charged with attempted murder of a fellow initiate. As a result of this you are limited to rank sixth or lower. You are ineligible for the position of leader in training and will be docked fifty credits from your monthly pay for the first year of your selected job." There is now a ringing silence. Peter has gone red in the face in a mixture of anger and fear. I take great delight in seeing the fear in his eyes as he stares straight at me. Drew is open mouthed, but looks much more accepting than Peter.
"We do not like cowards in this faction. Any further infractions will cost you both your place in this faction." Max addresses the silent crowd. "We will be reviewing the laws of Dauntless to make us much less tolerant of such cowardly actions. You have been warned."
"Now, onto much more pleasant matters. Your rankings will appear behind me. Tomorrow you will all choose your jobs." Without further ado, I press the button and the screen lights up. Roars burst out of the crowd as everyone sees how well people did. I watch Tris' expression as she scans the board. It is curious and then misery before Christina yells something in her ear. She looks back up at the board and her whole expression lights up. It is a beauty to watch. Until Max grabs my arm.
"We need to administer the serum." He whispers. I nod.
"Yes, well done initiates. Now, before anyone leaves, we have a new tracking device from Erudite. It has been brought to our attention that people seem to enjoy leaving the compound and getting lost. As a result, every faction will be given a new tracking device. It won't take very long, we appreciate your patience." Low murmurs spring up everywhere as I get down and grab an injection gun. I make my way towards the edge of the room where I saw Four, giving out injections left, right and centre on my way. I approach him and change the cartridge for the same fake one I gave Tris. I nod at him and move on quickly. This is it. I can never go back now. Tris comes over and finds me. I can barely hear her over the noise.
"I won't see you until after this is all over." She says quietly.
"No. You won't. Please take care of yourself. I have left a gun in my apartment so you can protect yourself if anything happens. I don't expect it will, but you can never ever be too careful. Remember your promise Tris. Don't follow us to Abnegation."
"I won't." She nods slightly and I smile slightly. I wish people weren't around probably watching us so I could hug her. I nod stiffly and move off, ignoring the stares. I end up face to face with Charlie. In the spur of the moment I give him a fake injection and tell him to meet me in the canteen once this is done. Once everyone has been injected I head over to Max.
"We are ready. I will be waiting at 11 to instruct Four to the control room and make sure everyone gets to Abnegation. I will meet you there once I am done." He nods and heads off.