I can has chapter? Yes.
Okay, two main points:
1) This chapter is so totally not what you were expecting. SHA-BAM! I do not bother with the whole gradual steps thing. That's not how things work, in my experience.
2) I was wondering if when you read a songfic you actually listen to the music. Because if so I TOTALLY want to write one. Srsly.
Enjoy. This chapter EXHAUSTED me to write and I thought about quitting a thousand times. I have to go sleep for years now.
Adam was pacing his apartment, arranging assorted objects on any surface he could find with no particular aim, occasionally wiping his hands across his jeans, darkening the fabric with sweat. Of course he had no reason to be nervous but it was impossible to convince his body of that.
He tried to read the newspaper that he had snatched from David's mailbox, but it seemed like it was taking an hour to read a sentence. Time was hobbling along and he really wished it would get a crutch. It could only be described as that strange feeling older kids got on Christmas Eve. At the ancient age of fifteen you should be able to easily sleep through the night, but time creeps and you find yourself lacking the ability to do anything but wait.
Adam hated waiting. He had spent his whole life waiting and he was fucking sick to death of it.
Finally, after what seemed like a hundred years, there was a knock at the door. David was at work, so there was no need to worry about false alarms. It was him.
"It's about time," Adam tried to say casually as he opened the door. Lawrence limped in and sighed heavily.
"Road work on the highway. Sorry to keep you waiting." He smiled slightly at the last part, a little apprehensive.
Adam couldn't help but feel a mix of fear and excitement to have Lawrence back in the apartment. He knew what they were doing was wrong. Not in the moral high horse sort of way but in the way that he didn't really know Lawrence that well. Despite all of the time spent together, spent doing…well, whatever, and the fact that Lawrence practically lived with him now, he still didn't know much about him. At yet, all of what was happening somehow felt so normal.
"So, how was your trip? How is Diana?" Adam asked, surprised by how genuine he was in his interest.
Lawrence smiled in remembrance as he sat down at the table, Adam sitting down across from him in the now familiar fashion. "Oh, she's great. Getting so old, though. I miss being there with her. Well, not that I ever really was that much, but still. Seeing her even less than before is hard."
Adam tried to understand the feeling of being separated from a child, but couldn't really fit his mind around the idea. "Yeah, I'm sure it's hard. You know, not being there with your kid." He thought about it some more, trying to really find something in him that could relate. He didn't even have a dog.
"You sound a little unsure about that," Lawrence grinned slightly, unsure of how to take it in. "Weren't close to your parents?"
Adam laughed. He couldn't even begin to explain this one. "Yeah, we aren't close."
"Aren't? They are living?" Lawrence looked genuinely shocked to discover this.
"Yeah. I mean, I guess. I haven't spoken to them ever since…God. Since I was twenty? I'm not sure anymore. It's not a big deal." He was pretty sure that he wasn't lying. He didn't feel bad about the situation anymore; he didn't even resent them anymore. Time really did heal wounds and his parents had been scarred right over. Lawrence slowly nodded his head, as though he had just learned some sort of important clue to Adam's being. Adam didn't want to dwell on the subject. Hell, Lawrence has just walked in the door and already it was the beginning of a therapy session. "So, what did you get to do?"
Lawrence lit up again, seemingly forgetting his concern over Adam's plight. "Oh, well, we got to go out to the zoo. She's been there a million times but she loves it. She wants to be a zoologist right now. I wanted to do that when I was her age to. It's so neat to see how much alike we are."
Adam didn't have the heart to mention how every little kid wanted to be a zoologist at some point. Lawrence looked happy being misty eyed over the animal-loving gene he had passed on and Adam didn't want to destroy it with cynicism. "Yeah, that's amazing. I just wanted to be an astronaut." What a lie. He had wanted to be an artist at that age, one of the other popular options. Adam seriously doubted his parents ever got giddy about passing on the finger painting gene.
Lawrence was off in his own little universe for a second, probably imagining Diana in scrubs, following exactly in his footsteps. Eventually he snapped out of it, eyes clearing the daydream from them. "So, how's it been here?"
Adam shrugged. "You know, normal. David and I went grocery shopping. He's bringing some girl over later this week that I'm supposed to meet." He grinned, remembering the conversation they had the day before. "Apparently she's his corporate ho."
Lawrence looked both amused and confused at once, and Adam launched into an explanation about the party David was attending. Lawrence really seemed to get a kick out of it, and Adam was very assuredly getting a kick out of retelling the situation. However, the end of the story resulted in a lull in the conversation that asked a lot of question.
Adam took a quiet deep breath, ready to ask what he had planned on asking. He wasn't sure if the approach was completely awful. He knew that it was tactless and far too direct, but he felt like he seriously needed to present the situation as though it weren't something to hide from themselves. He was sick of ebbing at it.
He cleared his throat a little and tried to sound as confident as possible. "So, you want to go to the bedroom? Make out or something?"
Lawrence looked like he was trying very hard not to look shocked. He cleared his throat a little. "Uh, yeah. That would be nice."
Adam nodded a little in agreement. "Yeah. Good." He stood up awkwardly, waiting for Lawrence, and they both walked to Adam's room, careful not to make eye contact. He threw himself onto the bed, scrambling to the sitting position to not seem too overtly sexual.
Lawrence looked at him, shyly grinning. "If we're going to do the bluntness thing, then let's do it, okay?" Adam nodded slightly, not quite understanding. "I just mean, if you're going to say 'let's make out' that's fine, but then we can't act like…well, this. If you're going to be blunt, be blunt. If not, play the coy card."
Adam nodded, embarrassment leaving him surprisingly quickly as he looked at Lawrence. It made sense, he guessed. Lust didn't leave room for much else. "Okay, we'll stick with being blunt. Here, I'll start. Shut the fuck up and get over here."
Lawrence smiled widely and made his way across the bed to where Adam was, and attempted to kiss him tentatively. Adam wasn't having it and pressed in, meeting tongues with Lawrence and pulling him down to the bed, no longer sitting but instead leaning over Lawrence.
"Good, much better," Lawrence grinned devilishly before Adam lunged in again, covering Lawrence's mouth with his own, pressing deeply inside with his tongue. Lawrence tasted familiar by this point, and he had missed it while he was gone. In moments he found himself on top of Lawrence, straddling him.
Things were getting more and more urgent as they went on. The kissing was more rapid, the breaths more shallow, their hands grabbing more desperately at one another. Lawrence ran his hands up Adam's sides, bringing his shirt with it. Adam quickly ripped it over his own head and roughly threw it to the side before returning to grasping Lawrence's face, trying to bring him closer so he could kiss him harder, so that he could be closer.
Lawrence ran his hands along Adam's back, relishing the feeling of his flesh. He reached down to pull off his own shirt, making Adam stop his attack for only a second as he pulled it over his head. Adam returned to the desperate scramble to taste Lawrence as much as possible but seemed grateful to have a new place to run his hands along Lawrence's skin. Lawrence tightly grasped Adam to him, pressing the two of them together and creating a feeling of intimacy the two didn't have much experience with.
As their hips began to rock against one another, it became increasingly obvious that they were going to have to release some other articles of clothing in order to get whatever it was that they were looking for. Somehow, in a way Adam couldn't even remember, their jeans were easily removed by a series of fumbling hands and kicking legs, leaving nothing between them but two thin layers of cotton. Adam could feel the pressure being applied to his erection by Lawrence's thigh, and knew that Lawrence was feeling the same thing from him.
Adam thought for a moment that maybe he should slow down, savor the feeling of the two of them being so close together, but as Lawrence pressed his thigh forward all of those thoughts fled his mind immediately as he ravaged Lawrence with more passionate kisses.
Things seemed to be happening in slow motion but at the same time so quickly that Adam didn't quite follow the series of events that made certain things happen. Just as he had missed the process of removing their jeans, he suddenly found himself being dominated by Lawrence, who had gained the position on top somehow. He didn't mind, of course, happy to have a chance to be given the attention rather than give it, and running his hands across Lawrence's back was certainly a plus. He grasped Lawrence's sides, lifting his hips closer, grinding himself into Lawrence's thigh, certainly not intending to groan the way that he did.
Lawrence made a noise that was half growl, half purr in response, and Adam felt him tugging lightly at the edges of his boxers. Knowing that Lawrence wasn't intending to take them off, Adam decided to call the bluff by raising his hips slightly, a blatant invitation to remove them. A fire of nerves lit in his chest when Lawrence responded positively, jerking them down, exposing Adam completely. Rather than pause to collect his thoughts, Adam buried them in more lust driven motions, continuing to press into Lawrence while kissing him. He was trying to lose the voice in his head that normally dictated what was rational. He wanted no thoughts to distract him as he kicked his boxers off the rest of the way.
Lawrence seemed to be burying his thoughts in lust as well, not letting up on the passion he was showing Adam. A series of fumbled motions had gotten them this far and as Adam effectively buried all of his concerns and apprehensions it was clear that more fumbled motions would get them further. He almost authoritatively began to remove Lawrence's own boxer-briefs, and Lawrence didn't seem to care at all, helping to get them out of the picture.
This time Adam didn't worry about nerves. They were gone, replaced by something primal inspired by Lawrence's lips tracing his collarbone. As Lawrence returned to his lips, Adam quickly and without a wary thought simply gasped "drawer" between kisses. He slid, along with Lawrence, across the bed, unwilling to part mouths and tongues with him.
Lawrence fumbled blindly for a second, trying to search without eyes, and then quickly broke away to see what he was reaching for; exactly what David had tossed into the cart the day before.
There was hardly no pause as Lawrence expertly retrieved a condom and tore the wrapper, returning to Adam's lips as he used one hand to put it on. He set the lube down beside the, on the bed, momentarily devoting all of his attention to running his hands down Adam's naked sides.
Eventually, after having his fill, he quickly opened the lube and spread it over himself carelessly, unconcerned about the sheets beneath them. He then spread some to Adam, effectively covering them both, settling between Adam's legs. Lawrence knew the necessary steps to accommodate himself inside of Adam. He should have used some sort of preparation, letting Adam get used to the feeling by using his fingers. It was obvious that neither of them were thinking about it, though. They were both desperately clawing, grunting with effort to feel that intense pleasure they both desired.
Lawrence semi-gently pushed himself against Adam, and Adam responded by pushing down, letting him enter slightly. The lube was seemingly doing its job, removing much of the pain that was supposed to accompany, and Adam briefly had the thought that maybe Lawrence had used a bit much. The thought quickly left, though, as Lawrence leaned over him, sweating, and kissed him hotly before thrusting in more. Adam groaned slightly, wincing, but feeling a desire he hadn't felt before.
Lawrence thrust several more times before his entire length was inside of Adam. Both were flushed and sweating, staring at one another as Lawrence slowly found a rhythm. Adam hadn't expected the feeling to be quite like this, but he didn't exactly have any complaints. There was a small amount of pain, some pressure, a tingle, and a compelling desire to feel more. Lawrence's thrusts became faster, and the room was quiet other than their occasional grunts of effort. Adam began feeling the warmth radiate from the spot that he assumed to be the one that was the target of Lawrence's efforts.
As both Adam and Lawrence became accustomed to the feeling, they slowly began to rediscover one another's lips, and kissing became an incorporated part of the act, however less urgent than before, as both often had to pause to gasp in pleasure or surprise.
Although he was in no hurry to get it over with, Adam didn't think that he had much of a hope of making it last longer. The warmth had turned to electricity that was pulsing through his entire body, making him press harder back into Lawrence's thrusts. Lawrence didn't seem like he would make it much longer either.
"Adam," Lawrence whispered breathlessly. The message that was possibly meant to follow was forgotten as Lawrence began to lose himself completely in the rhythm, eyes closing as the feeling took over his brain.
Adam would have liked to whisper Lawrence's name in a similar fashion, but had no option as he tried to control the volume of his moans. He allowed the pulse to overtake him, rippling through his body like nothing he had ever felt before. He began to tremble as it focused itself into his groin, and he groaned deeply as he came, spilling himself completely between the two of them in an orgasm he had never felt the likes of in his life. Lawrence followed close behind, quickening his pace, pressing his forehead to Adam's before lifting back to open his mouth for a noiseless groan that accompanied his own orgasm.
As they lay there side by side, Adam couldn't help but smirk at the thought of how unwitting he had been the day before as David had tossed the things into the cart. They had certainly skipped some steps and he wasn't sure what he felt about the whole situation. At the moment he was too exhausted to worry about it. Completely spent, the couple drifted off into sleep, not concerned in the slightest about the mess they had just caused.