All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer
The last two days were like living in some kind of limbo state. Edward had decided that we could stay in New Hampshire, at least for now. He was true to his word and woke me the next time Carlisle called. I was able to talk to Esme, and she assured me that she, personally, was keeping an eye on Charlie so I had nothing to worry about. I should have felt relieved, but I couldn't help thinking of the danger I was putting her in. I thanked her for all she had done; it was more than I could have asked for.
Alice and I had become friends. She was incredibly easy to talk to. She was unbelievably bubbly. I had learned more about her family from her. There really wasn't much to do but talk or watch TV. Evidently, among other things, vampires did not sleep, need to breath, had exceptional hearing, and had photographic memories. It seemed the list of abilities was endless.
Alice and Jasper were also gifted. Alice could see the future and Jasper could feel the emotions of others around him. I thought Edward's talent was amazing, but after hearing what the others could do I was in awe. It helped explain Alice though. At night she would sit in a chair with her legs folded up and her eyes closed. Edward had explained that she was concentrating, trying to see what the Tracker and the others had planned. I felt bad for distracting her during the day with my many questions, but she assured me that it was a nice break.
Edward was constantly there during our conversations; sometimes he would chime in. He always seemed far away, as though he were concentrating on something extremely important. I always wondered what he was thinking about, but was too chicken to ask.
I was always attentive when he did comment, too much so. It was embarrassing the way my heart would speed up at the sound of his voice, when he would glance my way, smile at me, gently touch my arm…the way his fingers would linger for just a few seconds longer than needed… I was sure he could hear it. The knowing looks Alice gave me just about confirmed it. The air always seemed to be charged whenever we sat close together in a room. I wanted more than anything to reach out and touch him, and was forced on more than one occasion to sit on my hands to prevent me from making a fool of myself.
Mostly he interrupted the conversation to inquire what I was thinking. It drove him mad not to know my every thought. I was glad he didn't. Imagine my embarrassment if he knew exactly what my thoughts were and how almost all of them centered on him.
My days were long and frustrating at times, but still better than the night.
I had learned to avoid sleep as much as possible. My dreams were filled with fantasies of the Tracker and his coven—what hidden powers they might posses--what they would do if they found me…
The last few nights had been rough. I had woken screaming, my face pasty and clammy. Edward was always there. Sometimes before the dream ended I would wake to find myself securely in his arms. He was always so tender and gentle with me, whispering words of comfort as he stroked my hair, or hummed the most beautiful lullaby I had ever heard before, until I fell back asleep. I always thought it would be awkward between us the next day, but it never was. I always managed to fall back asleep within minutes to wake alone in my room the next morning wondering if I had imagined it all.
But tonight was unlike other nights. Most of the time my nightmares included me being found by the Tracker and him attacking me, but this dream was different. I was in my driveway with Edward. We were in his Volvo talking when we heard a noise. Edward tried to get me to stay behind, but I insisted on following him into my house. There in front of us was Charlie covered in blood. His body was bent at a weird angle. Standing over him was the Tracker, blood still on his hands, with crimson eyes. He was smiling evilly. I tried to get past Edward to help Charlie, though I knew he was already dead, I had to try. Edward refused to let me by. I couldn't seem to take my eyes off Charlie. Suddenly the Tracker launched himself at Edward. I was so frightened for him I couldn't think straight. I remembered screaming for help before I felt a cold hand wrap around my mouth. I tried to scream again, but it was muffled. I could see bright red hair in my peripheral vision. The last thing I remembered before I woke up was feeling a sharp pain in my neck and seeing Edward turn to me in horror.
"Shhh. You're safe, Bella. I'm here. Nothing's going to hurt you. It's all right." I instantly recognized Edward's velvety voice as he chanted the same reassurances over and over again.
I was trembling. Tears were streaming down my face as my hands grabbed handfuls of Edward's shirt securing myself to him. My heart was pounding erratically and my breathing was uneven. I closed my eyes as I tried to concentrate on his scent. The smell usually relaxed me but nothing was working tonight.
I knew it was just a dream but it had felt so real. Even now with Edward rocking me in his arms…I feared for his safety. That was the strange part. I never once felt endangered or scared for myself. I had only felt concerned for Edward's safety and the loss of my father.
After a few more minutes my breathing began evening out. I was no longer crying but I could feel my hair matted to my sweat-covered forehead.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Edward whispered soothingly. Though he was trying to hide it I could hear the concern in his voice.
"It was just so awful. It felt so real." I breathed.
"What was?" He prodded gently.
I shook my head and buried it against his chest. I didn't want to relive it.
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." He was being polite, but I could hear the curiosity burning in his voice.
He began humming the lullaby, but it brought me no comfort. Eventually he stopped and settled for just rocking me as he rubbed soothing circles into my back. My skin burned where his hands touch me. I never once released my hold on his shirt. I was afraid if I let go he might leave and my dream might come true. I needed him more than I should.
Edward never once let go. I could see small strands of light leaking through the thick curtains of the window onto the floor of my room. Another day was beginning, but still I could mot shake the feelings from my nightmare only hours before.
I felt Edward stop his rocking and gently lift me from his lap. I was reluctant to let go of his shirt, but too embarrassed to stay clinging to it. He sat me directly in front of him on the bed. His hand ever so slowly reached up to cup my face. He smiled a small smile as his fingers began to trace my features.
"You look so tired." He commented as his eyes roamed over my face.
I shrugged unsure of my voice. My face was burning as his fingers continued to move and I could feel my heart racing within my chest.
"Are you feeling better at all?"
I smiled slightly. "I'm okay."
He grimaced. His eyes searched mine for a long time before he exhaled loudly. His cool breath blew in my face making my head spin.
"I'll leave so you can shower."
I wanted to yell to him to stay, but felt foolish. Instead I watched him leave the room as I tried to control the irrational fear inside of me.
After my shower I didn't feel like joining the others and curled up into a ball on the bed. Edward was right; I was very tired. It had been a long night. I closed my eyes in the hopes of resting, but soon heard the door open to my room.
I opened my eyes and saw Edward standing in the doorway watching me.
"How are you feeling?" He asked as he approached the bed.
"Better." I lied. I sat up and smiled.
He sat down beside me. "I-I wanted to thank you." I stammered looking down at my hands as I played with my fingers.
"Thank me?" He sounded confused.
I could feel my face flush as I explained. "For last night. I was such a mess…and you stayed…and—I-I mean you didn't have to…and…well thanks."
I saw one of his hands enter my line of sight as he rested it upon mine in my lap. "You don't have to thank me. If it weren't for me you wouldn't be having these nightmares to begin with." He added darkly.
I looked up at him. "What do you mean?" I had always wondered why…why he insisted on protecting me so. I didn't understand what he or I could have done to cause the Tracker to hunt me.
He stared into my eyes for a long time. He looked torn. Finally he gave a heavy sigh releasing my hands from his grasp.
"I should have left you alone. I should never have allowed you to enter my world." He was talking very fast and I had to struggle to catch everything. "If I had done the right thing, ignored you as I should have this never would have happened. But when he caught me with you, when he saw how I felt about you…" He trailed off glaring at the wall. "He had to have you. This is all some sick game of his."
I was too stunned at first to respond. It took me a second to regain my composure. "I don't understand." I finally said. Which was true. There were many things he had just said that made absolutely no sense to me. Why did he keep saying the Tracker saw him with me? I was alone all weekend. Killing me was nothing more than a game, something to pass the time. What confused me most of all were his feelings for me. What exactly had the Tracker seen? How did he feel about me?
Edward turned back to me. His eyes were gently again. "There's so much I haven't told you. So much you need to know, you have a right to know…especially after what I've put you through…I don't know how…" He mused for a second before continuing.
My stomach growled at that precise moment causing me to turn scarlet.
He grinned. "Let's get you something to eat."
I opened my mouth to protest but he placed his hand over my lips to stop me.
"I'll explain everything while you eat."
I raised an eyebrow at him. It wasn't like he had been the most truthful with me so far.
"I promise." I heard the sincerity in his voice and could no longer doubt him.
"Come on." He said as he helped me from the bed and walked with me into the other room.