"You're alive," Minerva said. "You're alive. Where have you been, Alastor?"
Alastor flinched as he heard what she was really said. You're alive. You're alive. Where have you been, Alastor? Do you really think a few presents will make up for not being there when your daughter was born?
They weren't questions. No - it was a statement and condemnation of the accused. The court had rightfully decided upon his guilt and had sentenced him.
The older man opened his mouth, and then quickly shut it. The presents were still proffered to Minerva. Yet, they were no longer gifts; they were plaintive requests for absolution. He took a step towards her, and Minerva… Minerva… took two steps back.
Minerva was terrified of him, of what he represented. That Alastor Moody, newly risen from the dead, was about to turn her entire life arse over tea kettle.
"Where have you been? Why are you standing like that?" Minerva paused and then she exhaled, as though trying to calm herself. In a softer tone, Minerva continued. "Kingsley, you know where the fire whiskey is. Please get it and three glasses. We all need some right now. Alastor, I shouldn't have said that to you, not in that way. I'm very sorry, Alastor. I want you to believe me."
That earned a physical tremor from Alastor. The presents were dropped and Alastor began muttering that he should leave.
"Alastor, it's either a finger's worth or a calming draught." Minerva's voice was extremely soothing, much like she was consoling a firstie after a nightmare.
"Can't…" protested Alastor. "I can't start that…I won't stop…"
"Let me get Poppy. She'll have something you can take to ease your anxiety."
"I told him to… leave me… I didn't want to come… here…" stuttered Alastor. "Better off dead."
"There will be none of that rubbish, Alastor," Minerva said. She took a quick gulp of whiskey and then grabbed Kingsley's class which she quickly downed. In a very soft tone, she spoke to Kingsley. "I'm sorry. You'll have to pour yourself another drink. Stay with him, don't let him go anywhere. Calm him down, because when he gets like this, where he's stuttering; he's in a right proper state. "
With a few succinct words, Minerva had severed his bollocks and handed them to him.
"You believe presents might make up for you not being here when we needed you?"
She had offered him a drink of poison, a pointed barb on how well he had handled her miscarriage and the dissolution of their engagement. Alastor had accepted that those misfortunate to love him had soon regretted it. Yet, the completeness of their animosity, the righteous of their wrath cored him. Alastor Moody was a hollow, shattered man.
He should have died. He focused on that thought to the exclusion of everything else. Even when Kingsley put his hand on his shoulder and squeezed it, Alastor pondered on how much happier everyone would be if he were dead. Minerva's daughter would have grown up believing that he was a hero, Minerva wouldn't know that he had abandoned her… Kingley wouldn't have to deal with him….
"Minerva didn't mean it the way you took it." Kingsley's voice was soft and soothing. Like bloody hell, she hadn't. Minerva had meant every single word. She knew how to hurt him, how a few scornful words from her would cause him to retreat back into himself.
"Nora and Bryce aren't here because we thought it would be overwhelming for you to meet them. I wasn't sure, but when you consider how well I've already mucked up your homecoming… Alastor, please talk to me."
"Everything's… brill…" Alastor lied. "Just… knackered."
"Just relax, Alastor," whispered Kingsley. "You're so tense."
Kingsley was rubbing Alastor's back and it felt good, so good to be touched. Alastor had always believed that that when Lazarus showed up again, very much not dead, Mary and Martha had given their brother a big hug. The biblical story was full of rejoicing, or so Alastor had naively thought. Now Alastor pitied the poor bastard. Especially when Lazarus had realized that his best mate was now wearing Lazarus' robes and had married Lazarus' old flame.
Alastor hadn't even rated a quick embrace from Kingsley.
Well, truth demanded that Alastor admit that he had thrown the kettle full of hot water at him. And he couldn't begrudge Kingsley wearing his wedding kilt. Alastor couldn't fit it, not anymore, and it had been purchased to be worn.
And he had purchased the wedding ring for Minerva to wear, however Alastor had always pictured him being the lucky man to place it on her finger.
"Alastor, it's Poppy Pomfrey. I want you to drink this. It will help relax you."
Hoping it was poison, Alastor drank the proffered vial.
"We need to take him to the infirmary," Poppy insisted. The matron's tone brooked no disagreement.
"Alastor is staying with his family," was Kingsley's directive. "He's staying with us."
"Right now, Alastor has a great deal to process. It might be easier for him, if he's someplace where it's quiet. Nora's teething right now, so she's a wee cranky. And Bryce is a little boy, little boys make noise."
Poppy was the only reasonable one in the room, Alastor firmly believed.
"Alastor desires to meet Nora and Bryce." That was Minerva's proclamation to which Alastor heartily disagreed. "And Bryce is a very quiet boy. Too quiet, as you often remind me."
It would be easier for everyone, if he never laid eyes on his daughter. Why he the only one that understood that basic truth? He'd destroy her.
"This is the safest place for Alastor. This is heavily warded and there are Aurors guarding it twenty four – seven." Kingsley explained.
"I'm not hearing Alastor in this. I'm just hearing you two. Your wishes, your desires. Alastor do you wish to meet your daughter?" Poppy requested.
He was firm in his desire. He would say 'No' and prevent heartache to everyone. He'd be strong and he opened his mouth to refuse.
"Yes," he whispered. Oh damn him to hell. Why did he have to hurt those that he loved?
Kingsley squeezed Alastor's shoulder in approval, but Alastor was adrift in a sea of self-condemnation.
Alastor was left with Minerva while Kingsley wrangled up the kids. He didn't know what to say, but the silence was suffocating him.
"You and Kingsley trying for your own now?" He asked. It seemed a proper inquiry, as he remembered newly married Aurors being asked that question.
Minerva nearly swallowed her teeth and Alastor realized that, like always, he had said the wrong thing. Like he was implying that Nora wasn't Kingsley's child in soul and spirit.
"I think a little Kingsley-Minerva mix would be…" Alastor paused and put his hand over his mouth.
How could he explain what he meant to Minerva? That a child from the two of them…the only two people in the world that he had ever truly loved… would be a wonderfully delightful combination. Not that Alastor had not loved his mother. However, he possessed only a faded memory or three of her due to his injuries.
Minerva inhaled and then slowly exhaled. "We haven't really discussed that. I mean, Nora was a complete surprise. I was told that I would never fall pregnant, let alone, carry the child to term."
"Should look into it," was Alastor's response. "I know Kingsley always wanted..."
"Alastor, I am seventy two years old and I was bedbound when I carried Nora. For nigh near eight months, I was stuck in bed. I know that there have been plenty of older witches who have born children, but it wasn't an easy experience for me."
To say he was dismayed would be an understatement. He had abandoned her… twice over. Not just when she had fallen pregnant, but when she had been ailing .
"He didn't tell me," whispered Alastor. "Kingsley didn't tell me. Why didn't he tell me?"
"Alastor, why won't you look at me?" Minerva asked.
"I can't turn my neck," explained Alastor. "Not all the way."
"What happened, Alastor? We thought you were dead. We believed you were dead," Minerva asked.
"I fell… and Severus found me. I begged him to kill me," began Alastor.
"Alastor!" Minerva protested.
"I was dying and I didn't wish them to get me," Alastor paused. "Severus found me… I was quite… I couldn't… I didn't… I… I… There are holes in my memories."
"How much do you remember?" Minerva asked.
"I remember that I couldn't keep it in my pants, causing no end of pain for both of you. You two should have teamed together and gelded me with hot iron."
Minerva smiled slightly and nodded her head in exasperated remembrance, "Kingsley and I had some difficulties in the past; we've ironed them out."
"Look good together," offered Alastor. "I'm… glad."
Truly, he was. How could he not be delighted? That they had found happiness together? He went all internal even while Minerva nattered at him. Truly he was a selfish bastard, as he was bleeding to death from the pain. They were a perfect couple, evenly matched and there were even children to complete the absolute rightness of it all.
It couldn't be worse. There was no possible way it could ever be worse.
Except that his daughter, that he desperately loved, sight unseen, screamed and wailed at the horrific sight of his scarred visage. And the little boy, Bryce, hid behind Kingsley because he was terrified of the monster.
"She's teething, Alastor," Kingsley explained to him for what had to be the ninety ninth time. "Her teeth are coming through her gums, so it hurts."
"Yes," a remote Alastor agreed. "She's teething. That's why she screamed."
"And Bryce was anxious about meeting you. He wasn't afraid of you, he's just very shy with new people," Kingsley repeated.
Dutifully, Alastor nodded his head. Well, as much as he could.
"I'm knackered, Lee. I need to rest," Alastor announced. "Got a place for a crip to lie down for a spell?"
"Alastor…" Kingsley tiredly protested as he showed Alastor to a small guest bedroom. "Don't… you know I hate that term."
"I am what I am." Alastor was quite terse as really there was no disputing that simple truth.
"I'm not in the mood to argue with you, Alastor. Not after you're Lazarus, raised from the dead." Kingsley squeezed Alastor's shoulders tightly. "I am so glad that you're alive. I am. Tomorrow, it will be better."
Alastor managed a grimace of a smile. Yes. It would be much better for all as Alastor was planning on disappearing. For good this time. He sat on the edge of the bed and made as though he was about to lie down.
"Do you need any help?" Kingsley asked. Alastor gave him a rather baleful look to which the younger man raised his hands in defense. "Just asking."
A concerned Minerva was swaying on her feet, rocking a fretful Nora to sleep.
"Well, that went really well," she drolly informed her husband. "How is he?"
"Barely talking. Pushing me away. Bryce?"a concerned Kingsley asked.
"Better, I promised to read him two stories tonight," explained Minerva. She fondly smiled as Bryce would do almost anything to have a chance to snuggle combined with a bedtime story or three.
"I wish he'd let me read to him. I can read, you know." Kingsley struggled to keep his tone composed. He failed miserably as Bryce's aloofness disturbed him greatly.
Minerva leaned toward Kingsley and kissed him. "He misses his father and doesn't wish to betray him. It will come in time."
"I know. Sometimes…" Kingsley sighed. "I don't know what to do with Bryce."
"Stop trying so hard with him," advised Minerva. "Be yourself, Kingsley. Loving and patient and he'll come around. Remember, he sought you out at the orphanage."
"And he's clung to you ever since," Kingsley said. In a soft tone, he explained further. "I'm feeling like the odd man out."
Minerva narrowed her eyes and looked at her husband. "I'm married to you. I'm here with you. I'm not leaping into Alastor's bed."
"He is Nora's Da," Kingsley needlessly reminded.
"He's ONE of Nora's fathers," retorted Minerva. She stared at Kingsley and then nodded her head in tired understanding. "That is what is bothering you. Now that Alastor's back, you fear that will lose everything…. Every one."
"Yes," was all Kingsley would admit.
"Well, put yourself into my shoes. Alastor's back. Don't you think I'm worried? That I'll end up all alone, while you two get back together?" Minerva was bloody proud she kept her composure when she said that.
"You won't end up alone," protested a somber Kingsley. "You are the love of Alastor's life. I was always…"
"The man that gave him peace. Don't dare belittle the relationship you had with him and believe that you were second best. You forget, Minister Kingsley, I was on the outside, looking in, for the last decade. You made him happy, Kingsley. Alastor and I, we were happy for a very short time, and then we combusted. Let me ask Nessie to watch the children, so you and I can have some… private time."
Private time was their secret code for intimacy.
"I just want you to hold me," Minerva requested. "We need to talk, Kingsley."
"That we do," admitted her husband.
Bryce was heading towards the kitchen to beg for a ginger bikkie from Mum Minerva when he heard Lee say in a very quiet voice, "I know. Sometimes… I don't know what to do with Bryce."
"Stop trying…" Mum Minerva said. There might have been more, but Bryce didn't hear.
He was a big boy, so he wouldn't scrike like he was a baby… like Nora. He didn't know why Lee didn't like him because he was a good boy. Lee was very impotent, that's what Auntie Nessie told him. Lee was the Mister of Magic, and very busy. Since Lee was impotent, Bryce tried not to bother him. He would have liked Lee to read to him, like his Daddy had. The other misters were impotent too, far more than Bryce was, so they needed to talk to Lee.
Bryce decided that he would run away. He'd find his Papa…. He wasn't dead. Those mean boys had lied. He'd miss Mum Minerva and his baby sister Nora and Auntie Nessie… and yes, he'd miss Lee.
That done, he decided to take his stuffed dragon and the book Papa gave him. He also took all the money he had, two yellow coins and a red one. Hopefully, it should be enough to live on until he was old enough to find a proper job.
He waited until Auntie Nessie was busy with Nora and made his escape. However, the strange man that Lee had brought home also met him at the door. The man looked him up and down, then nodded his head.
"You running away, too?" The man growled.
"No," Bryce lied.
"Well, if you were running away, I thought we could go together. Have each others' back," the old man said.
Bryce seriously thought about it, and then nodded his head. Really, it might be better to be out on the world with an adult. Even if the adult was the strange man that Lee had brought in, the one who had made Mum Minerva cry.
"Gingrotts, then Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour," the man informed his young comrade in arms. "Since we're both running away, I think ice cream is appropriate for dinner. No nasty sprouts for us, boyo. Ice cream and perhaps a stop at Honeydukes."
Alastor held out his hand and the little boy took hold of it. Moody struggled for a bit, thought he remembered the spell that would leave a note for Kingsley and Minerva advising them that he was taking the boy out for some ice cream. Had to figure out why the little boy was deciding he needed to run away.
The spell cast, the two mismatched souls left Hogwarts. Really, those Aurors that were guarding Lee were a bunch of slackers as Alastor easily avoided them.
She and Kingsley had snuggled for only a short time. Then, she found herself divested of her clothes while Kingsley's hands wandered. He was intense and sweetly affectionate. In the afterglow, Minerva was not blissfully sated, instead she was royally irate.
"That wasn't making love, Kingsley. That was saying goodbye," she growled.
Kingsley was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the wall.
"I'm stepping aside," he softly explained. "Alastor needs you right now. I think he and Bryce will get along quite well. I'll file for divorce and I'll give you support for both children."
"Lee," Minerva protested. "Don't be a bloody arse. I love you for your nobility and your decency, but you're being a complete and utter stupid arse right now."
She would have said more but that was when a hysterical Nessie interrupted them, sobbing that both young Master Bryce and Auror Moody Sir had done a bunk.
The two men were sitting in Florean's, having a man to man chinwag. They were joined by Bryce's dragon who was sitting on a chair between them. Between the three of them, man, boy and stuffed dragon, they were attempting to conquer a Florean's Flambé, a literal mountain of ice cream topped by a colorful sparkler that changed colors.
Some careful prompting by Alastor had revealed that Bryce was quite upset about something Lee had said.
"I'm a good boy," the little boy insisted to Alastor. That was a recurring comment from Bryce.
"Not denying that," Alastor easily agreed.
Then the story got a little convoluted, and Alastor wasn't sure why he didn't understand the story. Was it because he was a bit of a nutter, or that he just didn't understand everything Bryce was telling him?
"Lee is impotent?" Alastor repeated. That was certainly news to Alastor, but why would Lee tell a soon to be five year old boy that? Unless Lee was in his cups, and he never drank to excess.
"He's the mister of magic. Auntie Nessie says Lee is very impotent."
"Important," Alastor said. "He's very important."
The little boy who was smeared with syrup from the Flambe just stared at him, not hearing the small difference in the two similar words. Alastor decided that he would explain the difference to Bryce when he was older.
Much older.
That thought made him realize that he already changed his decision about running away. He was sticking around as Lee and Minerva needed all the backup they could obtain. Between Bryce and Nora, they'd never have a chance as they were outwanded.
"Bryce, we need to go back home," Alastor informed his fellow runaway. "Minerva will be quite upset and Nora needs you. As her big brother, you have to stick around and keep her out of trouble. And I know Lee will be quite sad if you run away. Do you want to make Minerva, Nora and Lee cry?"
Bryce shook his head.
"Then you and I need to go home before they noticed we're gone. We'll keep this between us. Our little secret."
That seemed like a wonderful idea, except at that very moment, Kingsley and Minerva Apparated into the middle of Florean's. Kingsley's appearance was similar to an Avenging Angel as he swept the little boy into his arms and hugged him tightly.