Steppin Out On Love ch. 14
The last thing that I ever expected was to become friends with Finnocence but turns out that he's not so fuckin bad when he's being a total jackass with his head up his ass. We manage to have a few conversations without throwing insults at each other… well almost cause there were some insults but no malice behind them as we hung out at his place to play Call of Duty or Super Mario Kart with Puck. I smoked them both and the Jolly Green Gaint pouted before saying that he could smoke us in a real race then the Mohawk fucktard let it slipped that I was a speed demon in a car.
No one knows this but before my Papi died, he was teaching me how to fix cars and put them together as his Papi taught him before promising that he would teach me how to drive. His 1997 Ford Torino is one of the few things that I have to remember him by as Mami didn't have the heart to sale it, not she fuckin could any ways since he had written in his will that the car would be passed down to me. He knew that I would take care of his baby as he would all of Saturday morning washing and polishing it then allowing me to sit on his lap, playing on the steeling wheel imaging myself speeding down the road.
Papi would chuckle calling me his little speed racer as I find myself working on the car like he used to while I do have red/black Camaro SS in the garage that I take to school and everywhere else but I have a special place for this car. Puck has seen the Gran Torino a few times, begging me to let him drive it but there's no way in hell that I'm letting him even sit in the car, let alone drive it as he's seen me fixing on the car. Papi wanted me to be able to fix anything on my car when I got older and even when he passed away, I continued to work on it because I love the car as much as he did before long, I got great at fixing cars in general.
Finn didn't believe that I could fix a car so I told him to put his money where his mouth is so we made a bet if I could fix a car then he would run away school in nothing but his underwear. I didn't pay enough attention to hear what he wanted from me because my skills will speak for themselves as we went to Burt's Tire Shop before standing in front of a busted up truck that looked like pretty busted up. I rolled up my sleeves and got to work as the night ran on long before I got the truck to run, leaving Finnessa speechless as Burt walked in to see what I had done, looking rather impressed with my handiwork before offering me a job as a mechanic.
I accepted the job because I liked the idea of making my own money and the last thing that I want to do is rely on a man to pay my bills regardless of what I might've said in the past and working with Finn is a hella lot easier than I thought it would be. The guys that work there have made a few comments towards me but it's nothing that I haven't heard before but I tend to ignore them as trying to put some distance between myself and Q and Berry. As much as I like being around them, I don't trust myself from trying something that I know that I shouldn't as I'm trying to put my home-wrecking ways behind me but it doesn't mean that I'm not getting some.
I'm hot and I can get dick or pussy from anywhere but lately I'm finding myself sitting on the couch with Puck and Finnocence, sipping on beers getting tipsy or getting baked when the self-proclaimed sex shark swipes it off of some of school's pothead. At first the Jolly Green Giant was getting a little bitchy about not wanting to get high but after Puck called him a pussy and punk, he shut the fuck up and surprisingly when Finn's high, he grows a few brain cells. The stuff that comes outta his mouth makes a lotta sense but leave it to weed to turn an idiot into a freakin genius. He looks up at me with laser focus from the floor that make me squirm uncomfortably before kicking him in the side but it doesn't bother the gaint at all, shifting his body to face me fully to stare at my look like he's tryin to unlock some mystery or some shit.
"What you starin at, Big Foot?" I asked raising an eyebrow.
"Hmmm"
"What's good, Finney boy?" Puck asked taking a slow drag.
"I think I figure out Santana"
"Oh really? What you figure out?" I said taking the blunt from Puck.
"I know why you always tearing everyone down. You do it because you attack what people don't like about themselves because you hate certain things about yourself that you think that everyone can see so you hurt them first before they can hurt you"
"Please no one can hurt me and I'm freakin awesome so I don't hate anything about me" I said rolling my eyes.
"But you do. You hate that you have feelings for girls or specifically Brittany but she doesn't feel the way about you. Least not in the way that you wanted her to but I can tell that you don't have those same feelings anymore… or they've shifted to someone else and you're hurting"
I blinked once at Finn as I feel the anger boiling inside of me, grabbing him by his collar as I raise my hand to punch because I hate that everything that he just said was spot on. The quarterback doesn't flinch at all or has the decency to look like he was afraid that I would him, standing to his full height and before I knew what I was going on, I'm engulfed in his meaty arms. I tried to push the beanpole off of me but he just tighten his arms around me until I didn't have the strength to push him the fuck off, leaning against him before feeling Puck's body pressing against my back. If anything was normal about this shit then I would have thrown out the idea of having threesome but the thought of being on top or underneath Hudson is the last place that I want to be.
"I hate you Hudson" I mumbled.
"Not you don't but please Santana don't push your friends away. I know that we haven't been friends long but I can't stand the thought of something bad happening to you if I can help it. You're important to me, you mean something to me even you are a major pain in the ass"
"Wanky"
Finn snorts, playfully pushes me into Puck who lifts me into the air with an playful glint his eye before throwing on the couch as I opened up a can of beer. It's nice knowing that I have people that actually care what might happen to me but I hate that I worry them so much that they feel like they need to reassure like I'm a fuckin five year old who needs to be comforted. Am I ever gonna stop giving people a reason to worry about me? The jocky dynamic duo talk about football and sports causing me to zone out on them as my thoughts wonder off to Q and Berry and what they might be up to right now before shaking my head of those thoughts.
I can't go down that road as much as I might want to because it's only gonna end bad for me and my heart can't handle anymore abuse of falling for people that I shouldn't. Finnessa throws the idea of building a car and doing some drag racing to make some money as I raised an eyebrow at him then Puck knows some places that holds drag races all the time then makes me the designated driver once the car is built. Drag racing huh? Not the kind of dressing up like a man or some shit like that. Maybe this is something that I can throw myself completely in and it's as far away from Q and Berry as I can possibly get.
I don't know if it's the beer or the weed in my system that made me think that this was a god idea but I could always use the extra cash and the thought of beating a bunch of losers in a race thrills me. After that we actually put in the work on the car, buying the materials to make the car faster and we didn't tell anyone what we're up to because I don't need the lecture about how dangerous this is or how reckless we're being. I think that Rachel might be getting suspicious about we're up to but I easily throw her off, saying that I'm just working at Burt's or chilling with the guys but I can't be sure if she's buyin the shit that I'm selling but it doesn't matter.
After a long day of working at Burt's and having to deal with Sue's bat-shit craziness during practice, all I wanted right now was a hot shower and my bed but it seems like it wasn't in the fuckin stars. Mami decided to come home from her week long 'conferences' if you can even call it that but this time is different as she brought home a souvenir from her trip in the form of some European man that look he stepped out of a telenovela. Homeboy stood at six-foot-three with bronzed skin, dark brown hair pushed back with a ton of hair gel, brown eyes and the guy is totally ripped as it seem like he's allergic to wearing shirts.
Emmanuel or Manny-Boy as I'd dubbed him has been here for all of three weeks and it seems like him and Mami can't help their fuckin hand to their goddamn themselves as I haven't had a good night sleep since they go at it from when they think I'm asleep to almost six in the goddamn morning. I'm all for getting sex whenever and however I can but this shit is getting stupid ridiculous and what's even worse that I telling Mami to get it in at least when I'm not at school but she's enjoying Manny-Boy's dick to notice anything else or to even care. I'm all too glad when they decide to take a min vacation to god knows where but I couldn't give a fuck as long as they're outta my hair as I flop on the couch, pulling out the blunt that I swiped from Puck.
I lit the sucka up, taking a long slow drag when someone knocks on the door and honestly I couldn't be bothered with putting it out, setting on one of the ash trays to give whoever it is tongue lashing to have it die on my lips to see Q standing on my front porch. She looks up at me with unshed tears in her eyes and an angry red mark on her cheek in a shape of a hand as I instantly knew who did this to her and I wanted to go over them to kick some major ass.
I barely made it passed the first step when I'm stopped by a hand on my wrist to see the sadness and self-loathing in her eyes that I have in my own but only ten times worse and as much as I want to hurt that bastard of a family of hers, my friend needs more. I push her inside and I knew that she could smell the blunt that I had just put out only to plunk down on the couch, relit the blunt and takes a long drag from it. I know that I should stop her but I couldn't bring myself to do it as I sit down next to her, taking the blunt from her and took a deep inhale as she rests her head on my shoulder.
"You love me right, San"
"You know that I do, Q-ball" I said resting my cheek against the top of her head.
Life in the Fabray' household in a few words would be 'Hell on Earth' and that would be putting it mildly in my opinion but no one knows what it's like living in constant fear as one wrong move could end in a severe punishment. My sister Frannie was lucky when she turned eighteen, she was able to leave this place but it was only in the form of marrying the first man that was kind to her and the last that I heard from her that she's living in Chicago. I'm not so lucky since I'm not even remotely interested in men but even if I was, I'm sure that they wouldn't be interested having a wife with a bigger cock than them.
Russell and Judy had always wanted a son so when the doctor told them that they were having one, they were over the moon about their new edition and had prepared everything for Lucas Quinton Fabray until around the seventh month of the pregnancy. The doctor had found out that that Fabray weren't having a son at all but a daughter who has both female and male reproductive organs but the male part will be predominant being that I would have a penis instead of a vagina. My parents had wept that day and my mother was too far along to abort as they had no choice but to go along with the pregnancy but everyday since my birth, they looked at me with utter disgust and contempt.
They raised me to be the perfect Christian daughter with straight A's and on the Cheerios as well as the Celibacy Club and on the Honor Roll, to never stray from the path that they laid out for me and to strive for perfection or it was meet with consequences. Growing up, they would parade me at every event or social gathering at the country club to project that the Fabrays were the picture perfect All-American family but it's complete bullshit. I had to wear the most uncomfortable pair of compression shorts to hide the fact that I wasn't the daughter that they should've had and to hide the fact that we weren't everything that a family should be.
Russell would come home angry and drunk, reeking of cigars and flowery perfume as it was no secret that he was visiting the local brothel or sleeping with his secretary as Judy never say anything to stop but I knew that she knew. I couldn't understand why she allowed him to get away with this kind of thing but to the outside world, Russell and Judy were the embodiment of what it meant to have a happy and loving marriage. Russell would slap me around, kick me between the legs, threaten me within an inch of my life and there were a times that I thought he was gonna kill me as he has came into my room with a knife with the intention of making me a real girl.
I don't know what I had done to make him hate me so much but I hate him so much as I didn't wish to be like this and yet I am. I hate that I have to life in constant fear of one day that he might actually kill me in my sleep or having to life in this house that makes feel horrible for merely existing or having feelings for someone that you never intend to care about. Russell is such a hypocrite as he has everyone in town believing that he's this god-fearing man that loves his family yet he's living this double life in where he's screwing other women and from what I heard, he's taking it from other men too. The only one person had a glimmer of what my life is like is Santana and to my secret as she swore to me that she would tell another living soul about what is between my legs.
I stood quietly in the corner, sipping on a glass of water while Russell and Judy were speaking with the mayor about how well my performance had gone on the piano as Daddy Dearest goes on bragging about me. I knew that it was praise and if I had messed up in any way, it would've led to a beating later once everyone had left as my parents put me in several extracurricular activities including piano lessons, horse-backing lessons, tennis lessons ect. I hate tennis and golf the most because they're so boring but I have no choice as if I so much as complain then it would led to a slap to the face along with a long-winded lecture about how I should be grateful for the opportunity to leave the house.
I scanned the living room for someone that I could talk to as my eyes landed on the only other twelve year old here is Santana Lopez who I had met a few times before as our fathers ran in the same social circles. We went to the same cheer camp since we were ten but we rarely talked to each other as I wouldn't say that we were friends more like acquaintances. I knew that we were going to the same middle school and more likely the high school since Lima was a rather small town where everyone knew everyone and the kids went to the same school all the way up to high school graduation.
She looked like she didn't want to be here as much as I did, looking bored as she slips on her can of Coke and we talked a few times but I don't think that she liked me too much. The Latina's rather brazen and bossy at times but there's no one else our age at this party so I walked over to her, we locked eyes causing her to frown slightly as I greeted her casually. She grunted her greeting before she took a sudden interest in her soda and we stood there quietly then she looked me up and down, like she was trying to figure something out then scoffed lightly.
"What?" I asked frowning.
"You're all that everyone's talkin about. They say that you're special or whatever but to me, you're just like every perfect like rich girl that craves public validation" Santana said rolling her eyes.
"Hey! You don't even know me to say that" I said glaring at me.
"Oh did I hit a nerve, white girl?" Santana asked smirking. "Mad that someone isn't kissing the ground that you walk on?"
"I'm not like that and for your information, I am special and I can prove it" I said glaring at her.
"Oh yeah, so prove it" Santana said crossing.
"I… I can't" I said biting my lip.
"I knew it. You're full of crap" Santana scoffs.
"I am not but I… I can't show you here" I said looking around.
"Where's your room then?"
Santana and I sneaked away from the party towards my room as I knew that I shouldn't be doing this as my Mother told me that I shouldn't show anyone my secret but I needed to prove to the other girl that I was special. We entered my room with the door closed as I locked the door to make sure that no one walked in on us as I turned to the Latina who looked at me expectantly, biting my bottom lip because I was starting regret this.
"Come on, I don't have all day" Santana said annoyed.
I slowly lifted my dress as Santana looked at me with a raised eyebrow but didn't looked impressed then said that she didn't see the big deal causing me to get annoyed as I pulled the front of my shorts, revealed my soft penis to her. The Latina's eyes widen comically and I took some pride in wiping the look off of her face but then she reached out to poke it as I yelped surprised since no one has touched this part of me before other than my doctor.
"I never seen a penis before… Puckerman is always offering to show his but he's a fucktard tho" Santana said rolling her eyes as she wraps her hand around my penis. "Does it hurt?"
"N-No, it feels really g-good" I breathed out.
Santana smirked as she slowly moved her hand up and down my penis as I moved my hips along with her movements, leaking out clear stuff from the tip as the Latina pushed me to sit down on the edge of my bed. She settled between my legs, taking my tip between her pouty pink lips and licked the small slit with her tongue causing to bite my thumb from crying out as the last thing that I needed was for my parents to find us like this. It wasn't long before I felt something coiled in my lower belly then coming undone in Santana's mouth as my cock goes soft while she adjusted my shorts onto my body as she stood up, turned to leave. I reached out, grabbed her by her wrist as she looked at me with a raised eyebrow.
"Why did you do that?"
"My Mami said that it was something that women should do to keep a man and it looked like she was right" Santana said shrugging. "Looks like it's works on you too"
"I'm not a man" I said frowning.
"Maybe not but looks like you like it regardless" Santana winking flirtatiously.
"You can't tell anyone about this part of me to anyone"
Santana stared at me for a second then turned to leave again but my grip on her wrist tightened as I stepped around her, stopping her from leaving as I glared at her menacingly.
"Promise that you won't tell"
"Or what?" Santana asked raising an eyebrow.
Before I could stop myself, I pushed her on the bed then pushed her skirt higher on her hips as I pulled her panties down her legs to see that her privates were different from mine. I wasn't sure how this would work but I spread her legs apart, diving in head first doing what she had done to me earlier, licked up and down then drew the entire alphabet on her nub as she thrashed on my bed although it seemed like she enjoyed it. Santana moaned my name loudly as she flooded my mouth on my bed then laid boneless on my bed, trying to catch her breath and when she caught her breath, the Latina put her panties back on along with adjusted her skirt.
"I won't tell but I wouldn't doing this again" Santana said winking.
True to her word, Santana never said a word to anyone about my penis to anyone but we never spoke about what we did in my bedroom that day but my parents did ask why I was washing my sheets. I told them that I needed to learn how to wash my sheet properly and thank my lucky stars believed me but now I've stopped trying to be the perfect daughter because nothing that I ever did was good enough for them. Charlie tried to protect me as much as he could but when Russell found out that he never intend to be what our father wanted him to be, he went ballistic and disowned him then threw him out of the house.
My brother had a love for drawing landscapes and drawing his comic as he would draw me little comics to brighten my days and I hope that he was somewhere warm like Miami or Toronto or California. Every attempt to figure out where Charlie had gone was blocked by Russell stating he didn't have a son by that name and I didn't have a brother so it was in my best interest that I shouldn't try to contact him or there will consequences. I didn't listen as I found out that my brother's living in New York as a rising comic book artist but what surprised me is that my brother is the picture that I found of him standing in front of one of his comic books was that he was kissing the cheek of a man around the same age as him.
I never would have thought that Charlie would have turned out to be gay but he looks to be very happy with his boyfriend as I contemplated sending him an email and I wanted to have a relationship with my brother again. I sent the email then Russell busted into my room with a half empty bottle of vodka in his hand, using the door frame to stay upright then asked me what I was doing and I said that I was doing my homework.
He narrowed his eyes at me then pulls me away from my laptop before I could close it and reads the email that I had sent. The man that's supposed to be my father who looked more like a demon as his eyes almost turned pitch black, back-handing me hard across my face causing me to fall to the ground, hovering over me.
"You conniving little bitch! How dare you!? I told you not contact that boy and now he's a fucking fag! No children of mine will be sinners as God is testing me with you! You'll be nothing but a worthless and useless piece of shit" Russell growls.
He kicks me hard in the stomach before grabbing me by the hair, gripping his hand to lessen the pain on my scalp as he drags me down the stairs then throwing me like I was rag doll on the floor of the living room. Russell loosens the buckle of his belt before pulling it out of his belt loops as he starts whipping my body with it, yelling that I should repent for all of my sins and defying his will as I yelp in pain. I knew that Judy could hear us from the kitchen where she's preparing dinner like she always is but she doesn't do anything to put an end to all of this because she either doesn't care or she pretends that it's not happening.
After what feels like an eternity, Russell runs out of stream and takes a long swig of vodka then tells me that he doesn't want to see me for the rest of the evening as I drag my body off of the floor. I knew that I couldn't stay here and I couldn't go to Rachel because it will only make her worry about me so I head to the one place that I could go. Every step that I took hurts like hell and the normal ten minute walk took twenty-five minutes as I knocked on the door and it swings opens as the Latina looks at me for a moment while the anger flares. She attempts go after Russell but I stop her because I know that she's only gonna make it worse by confronting him as I walked into the house and I could smell weed.
I walked over towards the couch, lighting blunt and take a long drag when Santana takes it from me, taking a drag herself while leaning back into the couch. I rest my head against her shoulder as I just want to forget about Russell and my miserable life as we sit there, smoking the blunt and I knew that my girlfriend wouldn't approve what we're doing.
"Don't tell, Rachel"
"I won't, I ain't no snitch but she's gonna find out" Santana said resting her cheek against the top of my head. "About what's going on with Russell? You need to tell her"
"I can't San, I can't get her involved. She'll try to save me and I don't want her getting hurt by Russell" I said shaking my head.
"What's wrong with that? The both of you had no problem getting involved in my shit" Santana said frowning.
"That's different"
"How the fuck is it different? If someone doesn't do something then you're as good as dead if that fuckin bastard doesn't kill you in some blind rage or a drunken one" Santana said turning to face me. "Quinn, I'm only saying this because I fuckin love you and I don't want to be one to finding your body after Russell kills you or having to explain to people what happen or there when you needed me"
"San I-"
"No Quinn, if you don't want to get help for yourself then do it for Rachel, for me because as much as I hate to admit it, you're one of the few people that I genuinely love and I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you"
I wasn't expecting this but I didn't know that Santana felt this way although I knew she was never the same since her Dad died as I pulled the weepy girl in my arms and I knew that she was right. Santana looks up at me with tears streaming her face and even when she's crying like this, I can't help but think how beautiful she is and I don't know who leaned in first but it didn't matter as long as I get those lush lips against my own. The Latina's hands entangled in my hair as my hand were perched on her voluptuous hips, settling her on my lap before pulling away with her eyes darken with desire but I could see the self-loathing there.
"I c-can't… fuck why does this keep happening" Santana said hopping off of my lap.
"Santana, it's okay"
"No, it's not okay, Quinn. I promised that I would stop but I couldn't help myself"
"What are you talking about?" I asked confused.
"Breaking up other people's relationship. All I ever do is break up other people's relationship and I never thought nothing of it but I promised myself that I wouldn't do that you and Rachel but I did it anyway. What the fuck is wrong with me?" Santana asked gripping her hair with her hands. "All I am is a fucking home wrecker"
"Santana, there is nothing wrong with you. I promise you that you didn't do anything wrong" I said taking her face in my hands.
"I-"
"Angel, I promise you that you didn't do anything and you're not a home wrecker. Sure you've done some questionable things in the past but they don't define the kind of person you are" I said kissing her forehead.
"You've been hanging around Berry too much, you're starting to see the good in people" Santana groans good-naturedly.
"She might be rubbing off me a little but-"
"Wanky" Santana said wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.
"Can you go five minutes without saying wanky, you freakin pervert" I said smacking her arm.
"Oh you love it and you know it" Santana laughs.
Things with Quinn have been wonderful as she would walk me to class, carry my books, leave little notes in my lockers, not mind walking down the hall hand in hand with me effectively ignoring the looks and whispers that we receive. I was hesitant about if the cheerleader wanted our relationship to be a secret or keep it on the down low but told me that she didn't want to treat it like some dirty secret and she was ashamed of what we have. When Quinn had told me that I felt relieved but also that I fell for this girl all the more and things have been good but I couldn't help my mind wondering to a certain Latina and I was surprised to find out that she had acquired a job at Burt's tire ship through Finn.
It seems ever since the pool party at Mike about three weeks ago, they have struck up a friendship, even bonded a little but I couldn't stop myself from a pang of jealousy as the two spend quite a bit of their free time together. I don't want to stop them from becoming close but I do want to spend with Santana as it seems as of late, she's been inventing different excuses to avoid spending time with me and I don't want to believe that. It's another three weeks before I get a call from Quinn asking me to come over to Santana's and when I asked if the Latina was okay with me hanging out with her today then her raspy voice is heard, telling me to come over her or else.
I giggle at her threat but I assured her that I was on my way before going through my closet to something adequate to wear as I am unsure of what be acceptable for this impromptu outing. I am happy to spend time with the two of my favorite people as I decided to wear a simple pink/white striped blouse that shows ample cleavage to entice both girls and a pair of black leggings with a simple pink headband to top it off. I knew that Kurt would be proud of the fashion choice I made as I hardly seen him as of lately but I knew that the fashionista is reveling in his newfound relationship with Noah while I am happy for them, it is still rather mind-boggling.
I would have never thought that the self-proclaimed sex shark would be settling for one relationship as he has left a string of broken hearts of the female persuasion in the past and I don't want Kurt to be someone that he's experimenting with. I care deeply for the both of them and I don't want either one of them getting hurt needlessly but I guess that I will just have to watch and see. I grabbed my keys, wallet and purse before walking down the stairs to find my Dads walking through the door causing me to pause for a moment because I wasn't expecting them to come so soon from their trip.
The both of them set their luggage down by the door as Daddy helps Dad out of his coat before hanging it up on the coat rack as he looks up, smiling sweetly at me and before I knew what was going on, I found myself in his strong arms. I didn't realize how much I've missed them until this very moment but I couldn't stop the tears prickling behind my eyelids from falling, wrapping my arms around his waist as Dad's arms around the both of us. You see my Fathers are medical researchers and their jobs causes them to travel all over the world and when I was younger, they would take me along on their travels as long as it didn't interfere with my schooling.
When I was about eleven years old, they thought that I was old enough to stay home alone while they were away and they would leave for weeks or even months at a time as I thought them that it didn't bother me. I knew that their work was important and could help a great deal of people but I couldn't help feeling lonely in this house all by myself and rather abandoned by them as it seems like they're failing to realize that they have a daughter that needs them. Of course we talk over the phone or Skype when they could find the time but I wish the times when they're home to actually have dinner with me or when we have Family Game Night, playing various board games or just enjoying each other's company.
"It's good to see you, baby girl" Daddy said kissing the top of my head.
"We missed you" Dad said hugging me tightly.
"I missed you too" I said snuggling into their embrace. "How long are you staying this time?"
"About that. Since we put in quite a bit work lately, we have been awarded with some much needed vacation time so we are going to be around awhile if you'll have us" Daddy said smiling softly.
"Of course I'll have you" I said grinning from ear to ear.
"Great and we can't wait to hear all about you and what you have been up to" Dad said clapping his hands together.
"There's so much that I need to tell you but first, did you bring me anything back from your travels?" I asked bouncing up and down excitedly.
Daddy and Dad laugh good-naturedly before taking their things upstairs as I smiled happily, watching their retreating backs just happy knowing that they are sticking around longer than a week or two. I leave note telling them that I will back before dinner before heading towards Santana's and I know that I will have to tell my Fathers that I am dating one of my high school tormentors while possibly pursing the other. I know that they will not be particularly happy about this occurrence but I once I explain the situation to them, I know that they will come around as the two have treated better in the last few weeks than all of the time I spent with my previous boyfriends combined.
The ride wasn't long before parking in the driveway, walking up to the front porch to knock on the door and I could quick footsteps along with hushed voices then the door swings open to see Santana, breathing rather heavily. I raised an eyebrow at her and wondering why she's breathing heavily but for some reason the Latina couldn't bring herself to look me in the eye before stepping aside to allow me inside the house. I walked into the den to find Quinn sitting on the couch, looking up at me with a smile but not one of those fake smile or smirks that she give everyone else as this one is a genuine one, leaning over the arm rest to kiss her on the lips.
I pulled back to see the sadness in the eyes of the Latina before quickly covering it up with a look of indifference and taking an interest in picking the nonexistent dirt in her nails as I move towards her, cupping her cheek. Santana raises an questioning eyebrow as I place a lingering kiss on her cheek before smiling softly, wrapping my arms around her waist as I nuzzle my nose into her neck until she loosely wraps her arms around me.
"God, you're an unnaturally affectionate person" Santana said rolling her eyes. "It's sickening"
"Well hello to you too, Sunshine" I giggle.
"Yeah, yeah whatever" Santana said avoiding eye contact once again.
I looked over my shoulder at the artist who mouth 'turn up the charm' as Santana slips out of my arms before flopping down on the couch, picking up the remote to flip through the channels. I easily move to sit down next to oddly quiet girl, leaning against her side as I wrap my arms around her, lacing our fingers together but then she slides her arm away before sliding to the other end of the couch. I don't know why the Latina is acting like this but it hurts that she doesn't want to be close to me although I decide that I'm not giving up on her even when she doesn't think that she's worth it.
I proposed that the three go to the park to get some fresh air and Quinn agrees with me as Santana moves upstairs to change as I turned my attention back to my girlfriend as she explains what happened earlier. I'm not upset that the two had kiss but hate that the artist is making more headway with the raven haired cheerleader than me because I want to be just as close to her as it only proves that I have my work cut out for me. The Latina returns wearing a short-sleeve camouflage hoodie and jeans with her hair tied in a loose ponytail with a few strands framing her face as in this causal attire, I still find her beautiful.
In those brown eyes, I could see the sadness and self-loathing as well as a look of confliction as the three leave our cars in the driveway, preferring to walk as I move closer to the Latina to lace our fingers together while refusing to allow her to move away. She quietly sigh but I see a smile tugging at the edge of her lips while comes up on the other side of the girl, wrapping her around her oldest friend's shoulders as I want her to know that we're here for her. After leisurely walking around the park, my girlfriend makes up an excuse to leave by stating that she forgot that she has errands that she need to get done today as it leaves the us alone in the park together. Santana turns to me before ducking her eyes away from me as she plucks blades of glasses from the earth and I hate she couldn't look in the eye.
"I know about this morning. What happened between you and Quinn"
"What?! Fuck! Rachel look, I-"
"Santana, you don't have to explain to me but I just hate that you're tormenting yourself over it. You and Quinn mean so much to me" I said cupping her cheek.
I guide her cheek towards me so the Latina's looking straight at me, running my thumb across her cheek before leaning in then stopping a hair's length from her kiss, wanting to sure that this is something that she wants. Santana's eyes darts between my eyes and lips before closing the distance between our lips, groaning softly at the sweetness and slightly spiciness pf her lips. The cheerleader runs her tongue along my bottom lip, seeking entrance which I grant as our tongue dance languidly as one of her hand is laced in my hair while the other rests on my hip and before either of us knew it, I found myself perched on her lap.
Santana's hands runs up and down my clothed thighs and I feel the fire burning between my thighs but I knew that I'm not ready to take that step just yet. I never intended to wait until my twenty-five birthday to lose virginity as I told my ex boyfriends since it was only a ploy to get them to slow down as I didn't want to lose the passion between us. I knew that sex would've lasted more than a minute or two with Finn with his early arrival problem, leaving me rather unsatisfied and with Puck, it wouldn't have been special or been as meaningful since he's most, if not all of the girls in our class.
With Jesse, I had thought that I had loved him as we have so much in common but in some ways, we're too much alike that it felt was bordering on incestuous at times which I am glad that we didn't further our relationship. I pulled back to see the desire in Santana's eyes and I'm sure that my eyes are reflecting the same thing but we needed to slow things down before they get out of hand as she buries her face in my shoulder. I wrap my arms around the Latina's neck, holding her close as I softly kiss her temple.
"San, we need to talk about this"
"Don't wanna. Just stay like this, okay Berry" Santana said wrapping her arms around my waist.
"Okay Sunshine, as much as I would rather hold you like this for as long as possible but we need to talk about what's going on between you, Quinn and myself" I said lightly scratching her head.
"Fine, whatever… just don't let go" Santana said tightening her grip on my waist.
"Wouldn't dream of it" I said smiling softly.
~Nicole The Dragon Rider signing off
End of ch. 14