I´m back! Sorry it took few days to update, but I´m still ill and running from one doc to the next.
So here is the next chapter. I hope you like it.
"You´ve changed the house." Stated Alice shy as we sat in my livingroom with 2 cups of coffee.
"Yeah… I had to do it. This is my new home and it´s not good for me to live in a house that has nothing from me. Ch…his stuff is in the garage, I couldn´t bring myself to sell it of throw it away." She nodded and took a look around.
"I know it´s not as stylish as you would have liked it, but…" I trailed off as I saw her eyes filling up with pain.
"No, Bella. It´s perfect the way it is. It´s 100% you. I love it." We smiled at each other.
"How have you been?" she asked now unsure.
I hated that we were like this around each other, both of us afraid to say something wrong.
"Good, really good. I struggled for a while, but I think I´ve made it. I went to Europe for 3 months." She gasped, her eyes wide.
"Really?" I nodded.
"Yeah, after…. I had to get out of here, so Jake drove me to the airport and I took the next best flight out. I landed in Italy and decided to travel around from there." I explained.
"Wow, that´s really great." Her smile was true, her eyes sincere.
"Thank you…. Uhm, what about you? How have things been? Jasper moved in with you?" It was supposed to be a save and light topic, but she winced.
"I´m so sorry, Bella. But when you moved out… I felt so lonely and sad. I couldn´t be alone and Jasper was searching for a flat anyway, so I offered him to move in."
"It´s okay, Alice. I´m happy for you." She looked with misty eyes at me.
"Bella…" she started, but didn´t know what to say. I took a deep breath and exhaled angrily.
"This sucks." Alice jumped.
"Oh… I see. I think I should go." She moved to get up, but I held her back by grabbing her wrist.
"Why do you want to leave?" she smiled sad at me.
"It wasn´t a good idea to come here. Maybe you are right and too much has happened."
What? Why? I didn´t want her to leave, I just got her back. Did I say something wrong? Oh… OH!
"No, Alice… I didn´t mean that is sucks that you are here." I began, but she cut me off.
"It´s okay, Bella. I understand, really."
"I mean that we are walking on eggshells around each other, both of us afraid to say something wrong. THAT SUCKS. We were best friends and we… it´s so different now and I don´t want it to be like that." I explained. She looked at the ground, not saying anything for what felt like an eternity.
"I know what you mean. That REALLY sucks." She eventually sighed and looked at me.
"Look. Both of us made mistakes and hurt each other, but… can´t we start new?" I asked now hopeful.
"Why?" she whispered.
"Because I really miss my best friend." I answered with a smile. Before I knew it, she had flung herself at me and sobbed into my shoulder.
"I missed you, too." Both of us cried till we had no tears left. I grinned at her, when we pulled back.
"Hello, I´m Bella. Would you like to be my friend?" she shot me a look like I was crazy before she giggled.
"Hello Bella. I´m Alice. I have the feeling we are going to be best friends."
To have Alice back in my life was great. We talked for hours over the phone, getting to know each other again and discovering new aspects about each other. I learned that she had been as miserable as me when we didn´t talk to each other and that made me feel bad. But we had come to terms to leave the past in the past and to enjoy our new and better friendship.
At first, Jake wasn´t too happy about the development, but even he couldn´t deny that I was so much happier with her in my life. Well… Leah kicked his ass to make him see that, but the result is the same, isn´t it?
I even notice that he and Alice began to get along. We often met in Port Angeles or she and Jasper came to Forks to visit me. Jasper was a great guy and the perfect man for Alice. With his calm attitude, he managed to calm her down and he was truly in love with her, as she was with him. I could see it in their eyes each time they looked at each other and though I was extremely happy for them, I felt a tug at my heart. I wanted that for myself, too. Well, seems like I would have to get myself a cat soon.
"Bella? Mum and Dad would like to invite you, Jake and Leah to dinner this Saturday." Said Alice as we spoke over the phone and I froze.
"Uhm, Alice. I don´t know if…" I trailed off and bit my lip.
Was I ready to face them after all that had happened? I felt so guilty for the way I had acted towards Esme. It had been inappropriate and stupid.
"Please, Bella. They miss you." Begged Alice and brought me out of my thoughts.
"I miss them, too. But what I said to Esme…"
"She´s not mad at you. More the other way around."
"Huh? What do you mean?" I asked surprised.
"Nothing. Please come, Bella." I could see her puppy eyes through the phone.
"I have to ask Jake and Leah if they have time." I sighed.
"Already done. See you Saturday at 6. You know the way." Before I could say something else, she hung up. Typically Alice.
I was nervous, no, I was horrified about facing them. In those last months had so much happened and I wasn´t the person I used to be. How would they react?
"Bells?" asked Jake and pressed my hand soft.
"It´s going to be okay." He assured. He always knew what was going on in my head.
I managed a small smile to show him I would be fine.
The house hadn´t changed. I know it sounds stupid, but somehow I had thought it would be completely different. Like I said… stupid.
Before we could ring the bell, the door flew open and Esme stood there. She was still as beautiful as before, but her eyes were sad and misty.
"Bella." She whispered and made a move to hug me, but then took a step back.
"Hello Esme. It´s good to see you. May I introduce? This is my best friend Jacob Black and his fiancée Leah Clearwater." I said soft.
"Thank you for the invitation, Mrs. Cullen." Said Leah with a shy smile.
"Please call me Esme… come in, come in." she led us into the livingroom.
After she had brought us something to drink, she excused herself and vanished into the kitchen.
"She´s nice." Stated Jake.
"She was my second mother." I whispered and stared at my glass.
"And she isn´t anymore?" asked Leah with a raised eyebrow.
"I don´t know." I sighed.
"Do you want her to be your second mother?" she asked now. I glared halfheartedly at her. Why did she have to be so observing?
I took a deep breath and got up.
"I know you love me." Said Leah grinning and I couldn´t help but to smile at her.
Esme was working in the kitchen, her back to me.
"Do you need help?" I asked unsure. She wiped her eyes fast, before turning with a fake smile to me.
"No, Sweetie. I got it, but thank you." I could see that she had been crying and it made my heart clench.
"I´m sorry, Esme." I whispered. She tensed up.
"I´m sorry for what I said to you and for how I behaved." New tears filled her eyes.
"I… I don´t know what I was thinking back then and I´m so endlessly sorry for having hurt you." I got on, tears streaming down my face now.
"No, Bella. You were right. We should have known and we´re sorry… all of us." She whispered.
"Can you forgive me for not having been there for you?" she asked sad.
"Only if you can forgive me my behavior." She sobbed and then she crossed the kitchen and hugged me tight.
"How much I have missed my daughter." I hugged her with all I had.
"Love fest!" called a booming voice and another pair of arms wrapped around me. Of course it was Emmett and after Esme let go of me, he turned me to him, picked me up and gave me a proper, bone-crushing hug.
"Hells Bells is back!" he called laughing.
"Let her down, she can´t breathe." Scolded Alice and to my surprise he did it.
"Good to have you back, Hells Bells."
"Hells Bells?" I asked with an arched eyebrow. He grinned wide and nodded.
"You really gave us hells." A wave of guilt washed over me. Emmett had nothing to do with all this and still I had ignored him.
"I´m sorry, Em." I mumbled and bit my lip.
"Nah, it´s okay… just don´t do it again." The last part was low and serious.
"I promise." He hugged me again, but this time more carefully.
"I´m sorry, Bella." Said Carlisle honest and looked sad at me.
"I was really ignorant and stupid. I should have known that…" I held up my hand to stop him.
"What´s in the past, is in the past. I think we all feel sorry and guilty. So how about we leave it behind us and move on." They shot me strange looks but nodded.
"Great to have you back." Said Carlisle and embraced me in a fatherly way. A lump formed in my throat, but I managed to gulp it down.
"Did we miss something?" asked Jake with a huge grin, as he and Leah entered.
"Not much, man." Answered Em and patted him on the shoulder. I looked surprised at them.
"What? Can´t old buddies talk?" teased Em with a huge grin.
"Old buddies?"
"Bells… how, do you think, did we check on you all these months. We needed a spy to keep up updated." My mouth fell open, my eyes so wide that they nearly popped out of my head.
"You… told them about me?" Jake rubbed the back of his head and nodded.
"You… you…" I didn´t know what to say.
"I´m sorry, Bells. But they missed you like hell and they wouldn´t leave me alone. How should I have reacted. They obviously love you as much as I do." Tears welled up in my eyes.
"It was my fault, Bella. I more of less forced him to tell me how you are. I was so concerned and missed you so much and…" began Alice to explain, but I held up my hand to stop her.
"You are impossible, Jacob Black." I eventually managed to say.
"I know?" his response sounded more like a question.
"Did you know this?" I asked now looking at Leah, who hid behind her fiancé and nodded.
"I thought you were…"
"We love you, Bella. Please, we did it for you." She pleaded. I took a deep breath.
"You two are the most… wonderful friends a person can have. Thank you." They stared open mouthed at me. I burst into laughter before hugging them with all I had.
"So, you are not mad?" asked Jake unsure as I pulled back. I beamed at him and shook my head.
"No, I´m not. Thank you. Now I know why you pushed me into talking to Alice." I winked at Leah, who grinned proud.
"All you need is love… all you need is love…" Em sang in the most horrible tune.
Esme hit the back of his head.
"Ouch! Mum! I just tried to make this moment perfect." He complained and rubbed his head.
"By singing so much off the tune?" I raised an eyebrow at him.
"Hey! That´s my personal touch." We burst into laughter and it felt freeing. I looked at my friends and knew things were beginning to look up for me eventually.
When I turned around, I froze. Edward stood in the door to the kitchen, a sad smile playing on his lips. He looked as perfect as always, but his eyes were unbearably sad.
"Bells, you okay?" asked Jake concerned as he noticed the change in my statue, but I couldn´t answer.
When he turned to follow my gaze, he tensed up.
"I better go now. I just wanted to check if…" he trailed off and turned to leave.
"Wait Edward. You don´t have to leave because of me." I heard myself say before I knew what I did.
What do you think? Too cheesy? Is Belly too fast with forgiving the Cullens?
Yupp, Edward is back. I thought it was time to bring him back in ;)