Disclaimer: I do not and have never claimed to own Dragon Age, all rights go to Bioware and this story is strictly for entertainment purposes and nothing else.
"I can't believe the coward ran." Sera said with a strong note of disapproval.
We had been in Crestwood for going on two weeks now. Our search for Hawke's Warden friend was put on hold when we arrived to the town of Crestwood to find it nearly completely overran by corpses. Hawke had left our party in favor of scouting ahead, and I insisted the rest of us stay until the problem with the rift in the lake was resolved.
Amongst the ruins of Old Crestwood we had found that it was in fact the mayor that had flooded the village back during the Blight. Upon returning with this evidence to confront the man we found a letter admitting his guilt and all of his personal items packed and gone.
Everyone was miffed about what had happened so I suggested we all get a room at the local tavern before continuing on our search for the Warden in the morning. Everyone missed sleeping in an actual bed, and Varric said he needed to drown himself in ale to forget the smell of all the rotting flesh.
Blackwall had been mostly silent our entire mission. We hadn't spoken about the night of my almost mistake. I felt ashamed for him to have seen me that way, and what I had said to him, my cheeks flushed just thinking about it. I had noticed the way he looked at me, but I had ignored it for the most part. I was still green in the workings of men. It wasn't until I had really looked in his eyes that I noticed he looked at me, the way I must have looked at Cullen.
I was such a fool.
With the threat of the undead lifted, the people of Crestwood were celebrating. They held a small festival that night in our honor. I had finally taken a bath and washed most of the grime from the field off of me. Aside from my shame from how I acted two weeks ago, my spirits were high. I watch Varric twirl Sera around the dance floor and laughed loudly. They were quite an awkward pair.
"I'm the man! I'm supposed to lead!" Varric was complaining.
"Oh, piss off, I'm taller, therefore I lead!"
"That's low even for you! To belittle a man because of his height!"
"You're already be-littled." Sera crowed at her own joke.
"Ow! Hey! You did that on purpose you ninny!" Sera shouted as she hopped on one foot.
I continued to chuckle to myself as they bickered. I took a small sip of wine that had been offered to me, no more ale, that was for sure.
"My lady, care to dance?" I looked up to see Blackwall.
I looked at him and I felt ashamed again. He wasn't looking at me with judgment or anger though. He was smiling, he held his hand out to me and I returned his smile meekly before placing my hand in his.
He led me into the dance floor like a gentleman and then bowed, I laughed and curtsied. Then he led me around the dance floor like a professional. I remembered the steps vaguely from my childhood but it wasn't hard to recall them with him leading.
"Blackwall, I must say, I'm very impressed that you dance so well." I said as he twirled me before bringing me back in.
"My mother taught me, she adored dancing. She said every young man should know how to twirl a woman like a princess."
His story made me smile.
"You've never told me anything like that before."
"It is hard for me to… Open up. I am trying however, and I hope that you feel you can trust me the same." He settled me with a serious look as we spun.
"I will remember that, thank you."
He nodded and we finished the dance. He bowed his head to me and was about to walk off the floor but I stopped him.
"Blackwall, about the other night-" he held up a hand to stop me.
"My lady… Bee, I more than anyone know what it's like to hold the lives of others in your hands and I would be lying if I said I have never had dark thoughts myself. What matters is that you didn't do it… And I will always be here to offer you a shoulder, if you should need one…" and with that he left me standing on the floor alone.
"Hawke should be right ahead." Varric said as we neared the entrance to the cave where the Warden was supposedly staying.
Sure enough there was the bright blonde haired woman, she waited for us at the mouth of the cave.
"Ho there Inquisitor." She gave her familiar smirk as she approached us.
"Is he in there?" I asked after giving her a curt nod.
"Yes, and my friend, he can be a bit on the suspicious side. Just… Don't be offended if he questions you."
That had been an understatement. Nearly as soon as we reach the opening at the back of the cave I had a sword aimed at my chest. Sera pulled her bow and aimed it at the Warden in defense. I held out a hand to call her off, she lowered her bow but glared at the red haired man before us.
"Alastair, it's fine, this is the Inquisitor." Hawke stepped forward.
The man looked me up and down and then sighed before sheathing his sword.
"Forgive me for being cautious, it seems everyone is out for my head these days, I am Alistair, Grey Warden." He held out his hand and I shook it while my mind slowly connected the dots.
"Wait, the Alistair? The Alistair that fought along side the Grey Warden who ended the Blight?" Varric asked the question before I could.
Alistair looked strained, "Yes, but that was a long time ago, I was a different man then."
He got a far away look in his eyes and I wondered briefly if the rumors that he had been in love with the Warden Mage that ended the Fifth Blight were true. She had died delivering the killing blow to the archdemon. I remembered hearing the news of the victory at the Circle. I had been there for nearly a year when news of the victory reached us. Alistair cleared his throat and turned away from us.
"'What have you done lately, Alistair?' That's seems to be what people ask these days." He scoffed.
"We've come to you because suddenly all the Wardens disappear, and then a darkspawn magister shows up. I'm curious if one might have something to do with the other." I had come here for answers and I intended to get them.
"It very well could. We had thought that Corypheus was dealt with after Hawke killed him. Archdemons have the ability to come back to life, I feared Corypheus might have the same ability and just when I had began looking into it, every single Warden in Orlais began to hear the Calling." He voice grew grave.
"You didn't tell me this, Alistair." Hawke's voice was low and betrayed.
He chuckled without humor, "I like to keep at least some of the oaths I've made to the Wardens"
I was beyond confused, "What is this Calling?"
"Grey Wardens are tied to the darkspawn somehow. It eventually poisons us, at first it's just bad dreams, but then you hear the music. It starts out quiet, and then it gets louder, to the point where you can't even think straight. Bloody annoying really." He said.
I turned to looked at Blackwall, his face was guarded, but that's wasn't unusual. "Are you not effected, Blackwall?"
"You have a Warden with you? Warden Blackwall? My mentor… Duncan, he spoke highly of you." Alistair was surprised to find Blackwall with us.
"Duncan… Yes, Duncan, good man." Blackwall murmured.
"Well?" I asked, he hadn't answered my question.
"I do not worry about the Calling. Fearing it only gives it power, anything Corypheus does will only strengthen my resolve." He had placed a wall up, and something told me there was more to it, but I didn't want to push him.
"Do you think that this calling is being mimicked by Corypheus?" I asked.
Alistair looked up at me, "I think that might be a very strong possibility."
We were heading back to Skyhold after three weeks away and I was more than ready. The trek back always seemed to take longer than the trek away. We were making camp for the night, Alistair was returning with us to speak to my advisors about us investigating the Western Approach. I wanted to ask him so many questions about the Blight. They said that Solona Amell was an exceptionally powerful Mage. I remembered pretending to be her as a child, me and the other apprentice children would fight over who got to defeat the Archdemon. I remembered us acting out the heroic death dramatically. Looking at the man that had lived it now, I suspected it was far worse than our child's minds could have ever comprehended.
"What's on your mind, Herald?" Varric asked as he sat down on the log beside me.
I looked to my dwarven friend and shrugged. "I'm excited to be home, but I'm also nervous."
I had confided in Varric about my stupidity the night before we left. He had listened to me with non judgmental eyes, he hadn't even cracked a joke at my expense.
"The Commander cares for you, Bee. I don't think you need to worry. You should just talk to him, put the poor guy out of his misery." I wanted to tell him that my feelings for Cullen ran deeper than his did for me.
I looked across the fire where Hawke was talking animatedly with Alistair. I wondered if even he was moved by her beauty. She seemed to be the type of woman that could make any man fall in love with her.
"I made the decision to push him away, I shouldn't be so upset that he's given up." I said as I threw a rock into the flames.
"Herald, for such an intelligent woman, you sure are dense sometimes." Varric said. "Cullen looks at you the way Bull looks at a fresh barrel of ale."
I threw my head back and laughed at his comparison. "Maybe I should talk to him…" I said quietly.
Varric slapped me on the back and stood from his place beside me. He dusted his rear off before winking at me. "You should, and you should also know that I am always right. Don't forget it!"
He pointed a finger at me and then left me to go and talk to Hawke. I sighed and threw another rock into the fire. I must have gotten very deep in thought because I didn't even realize Alistair had sat down in Varric's spot until he spoke.
"So where are you from, Inquisitor?" He asked conversationally.
"Please, call me Bretta, it makes me feel somewhat normal." I said truthfully.
He laughed, "Get used to it friend, you're never going to be normal again. This right here is going to follow you for the rest of your life. Whether you want it to or not…" I wondered if we were still talking about me.
"Thank you, for that lovely piece of positivity." I joked and he laughed again.
"I'm from Ostwick, to answer your question. I grew up there until I was eleven and then I was taken to the Circle of Magi."
"You don't really act like most Circle Mages I've known."
"How so?" I asked slightly flattered and slightly offended.
"You seem… Free." He said finally.
"I am many things, Alistair, but sadly free is not one of them."
AN: A bit of a filler chapter but I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless!