Dazed and Confused

It hadn't escaped Ginny's notice that Hermione had disappeared during the night. One minute she'd been sitting with all of them as they sipped butterbeer and celebrated Ron's engagement, and the next minute she was gone. It worried her that Hermione had sneaked out. She hadn't said goodbye to anyone. That meant that something wasn't right.

The thought that they had done something to upset Hermione had disturbed her dreams. Although Hermione had been much closer to Ron and Harry, she'd been like an older sister to Ginny. She had given her advice on trying to move on from Harry during Ginny's fourth-year, which, ironically, had got Harry in the long run. And the girls had become very close in the last couple of years. So the morning after the party Ginny got up ridiculously early – she wanted to see what really was going on with Hermione.

Ginny had noticed that Hermione had been on the periphery of things last night. She had also realised that the Head Girl hadn't known about Ron's intentions to propose at the match. She hadn't been left out on purpose, it was just that Harry had them training so much that the plan had been hatched on the Quidditch pitch and Ginny had helped Ron with what he was going to say during the long hours of their training. None of them had thought to tell Hermione. Ginny had been the one left on her own last year so she knew how it felt to be left out. Her heart hurt for Hermione.

Only a couple of first and second-years were scampering around in the common room but Ginny paid them no heed. She left the Gryffindor common room and headed over to Hermione's independent dormitory. She said the password and walked in and stopped, struck dumb at the sight that greeted her eyes.

First off, it looked as if Hermione had taken the Gryffindor party into her own room. There was a bottle of Firewhiskey upturned on the coffee table and some sweet-wrappers scattered in between. But that wasn't what had captivated Ginny. There, lying intertwined on the sofa, snuggled under a blanket, was Hermione with Draco Malfoy of all people. When Ginny was able to breathe, blink and have thought processes again, she crept further into the room and peered over at the sleeping pair. Hermione was tucked into Malfoy's side, her head resting on his shoulder with his chin on top of her curls. They looked incredibly peaceful and if it was anyone else Hermione was curled around, she would be silently cheering. She hadn't failed to notice that her friend was lonely. But this was Draco Malfoy. The Draco Malfoy. The pure-blood supremacist who had tormented and bullied Hermione mercilessly and had openly wished that she would die. Also, he had become a Death Eater - a group whose very ideology was to torture and kill Muggles and Muggle-borns alike. It was incongruous to say the least.

Ginny had spent the last few weeks listening to Harry's theories that Hermione was hiding something and that that something had to do with Draco Malfoy. Ginny hadn't paid him much heed. She had told Harry to trust their friend and that it was Hermione - she wouldn't be as stupid as to get herself involved with the ex-Death Eater. But it seemed Harry had been right. Ginny was close to waking the pair up when she realised that she didn't really want to have this confrontation with Hermione in front of the snarky Slytherin. It would likely lead to an argument and Hermione becoming defensive and unhelpful. Ginny sighed and left Hermione's common room. She might as well eat a leisurely breakfast and think things over.

The noise of the door clicking shut woke Draco up, although he wasn't aware of it. For a brief moment he was confused by where he was and the warm heavy weight of someone lying on him. He looked down and saw Granger still sleeping and frowned as he remembered last night. What had he been thinking? Why had he kissed her and then stayed when she'd asked? In fact, why had he stayed at all? Why hadn't he just asked her for his bottle of Firewhiskey at the door and just headed back down to the Slytherin dorms? With these questions swirling around his head, Draco slid out from Granger's embrace. He was grateful that he didn't jostle her too much and wake her. He needed to get his head in order and work out why the fuck he had done anything he had last night. Draco stopped briefly to stare down at the sleeping girl. He couldn't help but smile at the sight she made. It was the one time where she actually seemed to switch off and just relax completely. He could almost hear her brain snoring. Usually, it was working overtime. He pulled the blanket up around her more securely, leaned down and brushed his lips over her forehead. He straightened up quickly and shook his head again. What was it about this girl that was making him act so abnormally?

Draco was pleased that it was still early. The corridors were silent with only a few sleepy people meandering about. He was about to go straight down to the dungeons to take a shower and change when the aroma of fresh coffee and croissants called to him from the Great Hall. It made sense to grab some breakfast first as he was there. He walked into the Hall and saw Blaise was apparently up and eating. Fuck, he thought. That meant that Blaise knew he hadn't slept in his bed last night. He was the only Slytherin over the age of thirteen currently awake and it would look strange if Draco ignored him and sat at the other end of the table - as far as away from Blaise as he could get - although, it was highly tempting.

Draco slid into the space next to Blaise and poured himself a glass of fresh pumpkin juice. It would help get rid of that fuzzy taste in his mouth and fresh juice was brilliant at clearing your head before you hit it with a large dose of caffeine.

Blaise turned his head and looked at him with an eyebrow raised. "Good morning, Draco. Or should I be saying 'good night'?"

Draco bristled slightly. This was why he and Blaise could never be close friends; he was too damn annoying. He just nodded his head in acknowledgement, hoping Blaise would get the hint and shut the fuck up.

"So, who was the lucky lady? Or did you just pass out in some dark passage?"

"What do you think?" Draco drawled, not wanting to say anything about where he had been.

Blaise looked him up and down. "Well, whilst you look crumpled and a bit dishevelled, I don't think it reaches the proportions as if you had slept on a hard, stone floor. So I take it some female took pity on you and offered you her bed for the night?"

Draco didn't confirm or deny anything. He just shot Blaise a disinterested glance, hoping the other Slytherin would just drop it.

Blaise leant in slightly and smelt Draco's shoulder. "Hmm … and judging by the faint smell of something definitely feminine coming from your jumper, I'd say she slept in that bed with you. Cinnamon - nice."

Draco was feeling pretty tense now and regretting his decision to come into the Hall. Blaise was too sharp for his own good. "So what if I did spend the night with a girl? What's it to you?"

"No need to get defensive. I'm just surprised there's a girl here willing to sleep with your sorry arse. Is that why you're here so early? Did she realise who you were and kick you out for waking her up with your nightmares?" Blaise remarked cruelly.

"Fuck off," Draco snarled and then stopped. He tried to remember how he had slept and realised that he couldn't remember anything about it. He recalled Granger snuggling into his shoulder, yawning and falling asleep. He also remembered thinking that he should leave but he was feeling too comfortable to move and so he summoned a blanket instead and settled them both down in a more comfortable position to sleep in. And then… nothing. The next thing he could remember was waking up twenty minutes ago, feeling well rested and extremely cosy with his armful of Gryffindor. There was no dark nightmare that had pulled him out of his sleep, no sweat and heart thumping. It was the first time he could remember where he'd slept without waking up terrified since the enormity of his task to kill Dumbledore had dawned on him.

"So it isn't anyone in Slytherin because you would have showered and changed before coming up here. I doubt it's a Hufflepuff because you would have stayed below and returned to our dorm afterwards. Which makes me think it was either a Ravenclaw or a Gryffindor. I can't see a Gryffindor wanting to touch you, which makes it likely to be a Ravenclaw," Blaise deduced. "Are you planning on telling me who it is or am I going to have to go through all the Ravenclaws old enough and dumb enough to want to have sex with you?"

He ignored Blaise. He wasn't in the mood for this bullshit. He'd just had the most bizarre twelve hours of his life in which he'd comforted Granger, kissed her and then fallen asleep with her on her sofa and slept peacefully. And, despite feeling confused about it all, he didn't regret any of it.

A deep chuckle from Blaise pulled him out of his thoughts. "Oh, maybe it was a Gryffindor. Did you bag Potter's little fiancée? From the way she's been staring at you since you walked in, it could be her."

Draco looked over to the deserted Gryffindor table and saw Ginny Weasley staring at him. She wasn't giving him the usual sneer that she reserved purely for Slytherins. Instead, she seemed to be almost contemplative as she looked at him. She realised both Slytherins were staring back at her and quickly looked down at her book.

"If I remember correctly, Blaise, it's always been you who's had a thing for the little Weasley."

Blaise turned to look at Draco and scowled. "I mentioned once to Pansy that she wasn't bad looking for a Gryffindor or a Weasley, and you two built it up into some unrequited love. Besides, Potter's sloppy seconds aren't my style."

Draco saw an opportunity to steer the topic away from where he'd been last night. "And if you know what's good for you, you'll keep it that way because if you hurt Pansy, I swear to Salazar, I'll make you regret it for the rest of your life," he threatened.

Blaise scoffed at him, finished his coffee and stood up. "You don't scare me, Draco," he said before strolling out of the Great Hall.

Draco was pleased to have gotten rid of him and was finally able to relax and sip his coffee. He kept his eye on the Weaselette but apart from a few thoughtful looks in his direction, she kept her eyes on the book she was reading.

Hermione surfaced out of the hazy depths of her sleep and opened her eyes. She jumped slightly as she locked eyes with the brown-eyed gaze of Ginny.

"Ginny!" she exclaimed. "You made me jump out of my skin."

Ginny said nothing but handed her a cup of coffee. Hermione took a sip before putting in the on the coffee table and groaning at the sight of last night's bottle of alcohol.

"Heavy night?" Ginny asked.

"You have no idea," she murmured back.

Hermione was a little unnerved by the look that Ginny gave her at that. At least she hadn't come in and stumbled upon her and Malfoy. She didn't think the redhead would be sitting there quite so calmly if she had.

"So, what happened? You just disappeared last night."

Hermione looked down at the coffee. Should she unburden herself on Ginny? She really didn't want to bring her friend out of the bliss she was currently experiencing. "Oh, nothing. Just tired, you know."

"So it had nothing to do with the fact that I found you curled around Draco Malfoy on that sofa this morning?" Ginny casually asked, pointing to where Hermione was sitting.

For once in her life, Hermione's brain couldn't think of anything. She sat there with her mouth open, just staring at Ginny. The redheaded Gryffindor looked at the brunette and folded her arms. "You better start talking, Hermione."

"It's not what you think."

"I don't even know what to think at the moment. I have so many thoughts going through my mind. Are you secretly dating Malfoy?"

"No!" Hermione all but screamed. "It's nothing like that."

"Talk to me. You've started to become so distant."

She raked her hands through her hair before explaining the whole situation to her friend. At least she didn't have to worry about Ginny running off to Harry and Ron as she had when Neville had confronted her about Malfoy leaving her rooms. Ginny would keep her secret, but Hermione would definitely keep quiet about the kiss last night.

By the end of the story, Ginny's eyes were round in disbelief. "I can't believe Harry was right again. His gut instincts are spot-on."

"Right about what?"

"He said that you were involved in something to do with Malfoy. He never believed that Parkinson was talking to you about bullied first-years."

Hermione had the shame to blush. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to lie but you know how Harry and Ron are. They didn't even step in when Dean was beating the shit out of Malfoy."

"I get why you lied, I just wish you hadn't." Ginny said, a little sadly.

The two girls sat across from each other and sipped their drinks. Hermione felt a weight lifted off her shoulders now that at least one of her good friends knew about the situation with Malfoy. She wasn't counting the kiss last night because that was an anomaly.

"So Malfoy is really screwed up," Ginny said.

Hermione nodded. "He's mess, alright. Pansy and I have managed to rein in his drinking a little but there are still a lot of problems. I tried to convince him to speak to the Healer that Harry went to at St. Mungo's, but he refused."

"And he doesn't call you Mudblood?" Ginny asked, a little bemused by this change in the dynamic.

"He did at the beginning but he cut it out after I threatened to hex him so badly he'd end up in St. Mungo's."

"What's up with the 'princess' thing? That's driven Harry nuts."

She rolled her eyes. "I just ignore it. It's Malfoy trying to be annoying."

"Are you sure it's not something else?" Ginny asked suspiciously.

Hermione thought back to the conversation she'd had with Andromeda in Hogsmeade. She hadn't mentioned that to Ginny either. She felt no need to open that particular can of worms. After what Ginny had witnessed this morning, she could see what she would read into it.

"Ginny! Really! Can you imagine Malfoy harbouring secret and tender feelings towards me? It would just be weird."

Ginny recognised the truth of that and giggled. Hermione eyed how Ginny relaxed back into the sofa and breathed a mental sigh of relief. The interrogation, it seemed, was over. It was then Ginny's turn to look tense. "Look, Hermione, I realised late last night that we've been leaving you out of things."

The pain that had consumed her yesterday at the seeming betrayal of her closest friends returned briefly, but she ignored it. "Don't worry about it."

"No, I will worry about it. You mean the world to us, Hermione, and Ron not telling you about his plans to propose at the game wasn't because he didn't want you to know, but purely because we've been training so hard."

Hermione suddenly felt a lot lighter. Her friends weren't pushing her away. "I blame myself really," Ginny continued. "I know how absorbed Ron gets when he's in the middle of plans. And Harry… Well, Harry is wrapped up in actually having a normal year. But I should have sought you out and told you."

She smiled at her anxious redheaded friend. "Stop being so hard on yourself. These things happen. It did hurt but I'm not going to hold on to it, especially as I know more than anyone how oblivious those boys can be."

Ginny gave a massive sigh of relief and grinned at Hermione. "We didn't mean to – literally – drive you into the arms of Draco Malfoy."

Hermione blushed bright red. Ginny stayed to chat with her for another hour or so before she had had to meet Harry and Ron down at the Quidditch pitch. It appeared that Harry wasn't letting his team have a day of rest this season. Once Ginny had gone, Hermione could finally sit back and think about what on earth had happened the night before.

For once, her brain seemed incapable of putting everything into a logical order. This was one giant mess and that kiss had just confused everything even more. She wasn't sure what she thought of Malfoy any more. She certainly didn't hate him as she once had. She'd seen through the bravado that Pansy had spoken of, back in January, and down to the Malfoy that lay underneath it. And she found that she liked that Malfoy - he could be kind and caring. The fact that he'd stayed with Hermione last night, and hadn't laughed at her insecurities, was testament to that.

She sighed as she thought back to the kiss. Maybe it had just been a comfort thing. That would make it a lot easier to understand. He'd been feeling sorry for her and feeling ashamed at the fact that he was to blame for lots of her insecurities. Yes, she was sure that's what it was. It was just a kiss to make her feel better about herself. She ignored the pang of pain that shot through her at that thought. If it was anything more then it would complicate everything, and Hermione really didn't need complicated this year. She needed quiet and easy. She had had enough difficult situations already over the past years.

Besides, she didn't want Malfoy to have any feelings for her, did she? No, of course she didn't, she told herself. It was Malfoy. Besides, she was a Muggle-born and he was the pure-blood poster child. How would that work? And then there was Harry and Ron to think of, and Malfoy's parents. No, it would be best if it were just a comfort kiss.

Hermione put any thoughts of wanting it to be anything else out of her mind and went on with her day. She was grateful she had a complicated Arithmancy project to do.

Hermione spent the rest of the day in the library, sorting her homework out. She also decided to start drawing her up her N.E.W.T. revision timetable. It was now March and there wasn't long to go until the exams would be on them. Whilst she was at it, she decided to sort Harry's and Ron's out as well. The boys would never get round to doing them, and it was taking her mind of things like troublesome Slytherins and their intoxicating kisses. Hermione shook her head. She was not going to think about it anymore.

It wasn't until dinner that Hermione left her sanctuary at the back of the library. She'd been pleased that the castle seemed extra lethargic this Sunday. The library had been quiet just as she needed. She hadn't seen anyone and that was exactly what she needed, too. She found herself enjoying the solitude these days. Maybe it was because last year had been so claustrophobic in that blasted tent. The three of them had been living on top of each other in incredibly stressful circumstances. It wasn't surprising that she now enjoyed days like today where she didn't need to see Harry and Ron until dinnertime.

Harry, Ron and Ginny were looking suitably worn out after yet another brutal Quidditch practice.

"Merlin's beard, Harry, you think you could give it a bit of a rest," Ron complained. "We only played just yesterday but you had us back out on the pitch today, and not a little gentle flying and fun, but a full blown, hardcore training session."

Ginny winced as Ron accidentally elbowed her in the side. "Watch it, Ron, that Bludger did more damage than I realised."

Harry looked at Ginny in concern. "Do you want go to the Infirmary after dinner?"

Ginny smiled across the table at him. "Don't worry, I have some of that bruise paste that George invented. I thought it would come in handy this year."

Hermione sat down and tried not to smirk at the state of her friends. Ron still looked majorly hung-over and Ginny and Harry looked dead on their feet. "Good evening. Good practice?" she asked innocently.

Ron broke out into fresh grumbling under his breath but Harry smiled at Hermione. "Hey, where did you get to last night? One minute you were there and the next you were gone."

Hermione couldn't help it; she involuntarily flicked her eyes towards Ginny who was just staring down at her plate. She felt a flood of gratitude towards the youngest Weasley - Ginny hadn't said anything to Harry. She didn't think she would but you could never be sure when relationships deepened and couples became engaged.

"Oh, I was just tired. It was a bit of a long day," Hermione said casually before starting to search through her bag. "By the way, I drew up my N.E.W.T. revision time-table this afternoon and did one for the pair of you, too."

Ron groaned once more. "Hermione, we've got ages until exams. It's not even Easter yet."

"Ronald, its March already. Before you know, the exams will be upon us. Do you want to be unprepared?"

Ron huffed and looked at the time-table Hermione gave him. "I can't study that much, my brain will burst!" he exclaimed.

"What brain?" Ginny murmured.

Ron glared at her before flicking a pea off his plate in her direction. "Ron, that's disgusting!" Ginny yelled.

"Thanks, Hermione," Harry said, giving her a kiss on the cheek before the two hotheaded siblings could break out into a full argument.

She grinned at her green-eyed friend and started to pile some food on her plate. In the midst of spooning some rice onto her plate, she caught sight of Malfoy. He held her gaze for a minute before Hermione pulled her eyes away and focused back on the rice. She willed herself not to blush but felt the blood pour into her cheeks. She let her hair down from her ponytail to try and put a curtain between her and Harry. Luckily, the conversation had returned to Quidditch and Ron was currently regaling them all with his highlights from yesterday's match. Hermione couldn't help herself; she stole another glance towards the Slytherin table at Malfoy who was now turned away and chatting to Pansy. She took a moment to just drink him in. There were things that she had never noticed about him before that were now fascinating to her. The way that he gestured when talking had seemed like arrogance before, but she now realised that it was passion.

He had always come across as cold and unfeeling previously, but Hermione noticed that he was just incredibly controlled. She supposed he'd been taught to be like that from Lucius Malfoy, with whom he shared this characteristic. But when you observed him with his friends, he was much more relaxed. Instead of sneers, he often wore warm smiles that crinkled the corners of his eyes. He'd given her that smile a few times the night before during their light-hearted chat and it had melted any hostility she previously held.

Malfoy's grey eyes flashed in her direction again and an eyebrow rose at her. Mortified at being caught staring at him so intently, she smiled shyly at him before zoning back into what Harry was saying.

On the way back up to Gryffindor Tower, Ginny grabbed hold of Hermione's arm and held her back so they dropped behind Ron and Harry. "What was that at the table?" she asked.

"What?" she replied, confused.

"You were staring towards the Slytherin table for ages."

She flushed. "I don't know. I was just thinking about stuff."

Ginny turned to face her, blocking the staircase. "Hermione, be careful. Don't get yourself in too deep with Malfoy. Based on what you've told me, he's seriously screwed up at the moment."

"I don't plan to get any more involved with him," she protested.

"Do you like him? And I mean romantically," Ginny asked in her typically blunt fashion.

"No…" Hermione said a little hesitantly. She saw the sceptical look on Ginny's face. "I don't think so, okay? It's hard to explain. He's different when you get him alone."

"Well I guessed that. I would be worried if he was same git and you were feeling this confused over him."

"I know you'll find this hard to believe but he can be really kind and caring," she confided.

Ginny looked a little disturbed. "To be honest, I do find that strange. This is Malfoy, kind and caring aren't two words I would usually associate with him. Mean and spiteful definitely, but not kind and caring."

Hermione nodded in agreement. "I know, but it's true."

Ginny looked at her seriously. "Just think about what getting in any deeper with Malfoy will do. Harry and Ron won't understand. They'll think you've lost your mind."

She blushed. "Ginny, you're jumping the gun. I don't even like Malfoy like that. And even if I did, I have no idea how he feels about me or even if I'd want to take a step like that."

"Just talk to me before you do anything. Please."

Hermione felt a little guilty at that. She was already leaving much of the narrative out for Ginny already, but, until she could analyse what happened last night, she couldn't put it coherently for anyone else to understand. Ginny was already jumping to conclusions about Hermione and her feelings for Malfoy. The kiss would just amplify that.