"Mom, I'm bored," Justin whined, throwing himself on the sofa behind Brooke.

"Well, this will teach you, your brother, your cousin, and your best friend not to snoop into other people's business, especially when you can just ask the person in question," she informed her son in a no nonsense tone.

"I know. I've learned my lesson. But six weeks of punishment?"

"Are you complaining because I could easily make it twelve weeks?"

"No. No. No," Justin answered quickly. "Six is enough." Wow, he almost blew that one. At least he had only two weeks left, poor Tommy got stuck reorganizing the filing system at the clinic where Aunt Simone volunteered. And he was only on the "J"s. Uncle Tony and Aunt Kristen told Zende he couldn't play basketball when the season started, on top of being grounded for seven weeks. He and Thomas got off lucky in comparison. "Mom, can I go over to Dad's?"

Brooke shook her head, never taking her eyes off the document she was reading.

"May I?" he corrected himself.

"Your dad's working, but he'll be over for dinner."

"But Hope is over there."

She put down her document and closed her eyes. How could she even begin to explain this to an almost twelve-year-old? How could she tell him that Ridge enjoyed spending time with Hope because she is the first little girl in his life that he has known from day one wasn't his, unlike with Bridget, Stephie, and Phoebe? How could she explain that he loved that their relationship wasn't being built on a lie or wrong test results? It seemed right now that Ridge's relationship with Hope was probably the most uncomplicated relationship in his life. "I think your dad likes to hear her baby talk and not have to hear his two sons try to con him into letting them watch TV or play video games, when they're not supposed to."

Justin lowered his gaze from his mother.

Ah, she still had the touch.

"Is Dad going to be hurt for a long time because Stephie and Phoebe aren't his daughters like he thought?"

"It's going to take some time, baby." She reached for her son's hand and kissed it. "He has to work through all his feelings and the hurt, then he'll be perkier."

"Aunt Katie, perky?"

"No," Brooke smiled at the thought, "no, your dad could never be as perky as Aunt Katie."

"Good."

"What's your brother doing?"

"Reading his comics."

"Why don't you go pick up a book to pass the time until dinner?"

He pondered his mother's suggestion then disregarded it when he came up with a better one. "Can I play with the chemistry set that you and Budge got me?"

"In the kitchen with the door open and tell me what liquids you're combining before you actually combine them, okay?"

"Yes," he replied, as he ran to his room.

She had to talk to Ridge about their issues, but also for the sake of the kids. She had two boys on the verge of being teenagers who were missing seeing their dad happier.

"Ridge, we need to talk," Brooke informed him as stepped off the veranda.

"Brooke, I'm not in the mood," Ridge replied.

"I know. And I wasn't when you first wanted to talk, but if we keep putting it off it will never happen."

Ridge stopped, turned, took out one of the patio chairs and sat down.

Handing him a lightweight sweater, Brooke sat down next to him. Where to begin? The best place to start, she guessed, was at the beginning. "What do you want to know?"

He sighed. He didn't want to do this. He just wanted to go back to his house, tuck Thomas in, and mope. But he could tell Brooke wasn't going to let this go. "How? Why?"

"How? It wasn't as difficult as I thought. You were avoiding me as was your whole family for one reason or another. And I was avoiding you all, too, so it worked out. I found your dad's pieces that he designed to help camouflage larger hips, butts, stomachs, and the clichéd strategically placed folder, briefcase, table, chair, purse, plant, also helped. And whenever I saw you or Taylor before you saw me, I quickly hid or turned the other way. The weekends, the kids and I spent in San Diego or somewhere in-between."

He stared at her in awe. He tried to remember that time. Had he noticed anything different about her? Noticed that she had avoided him? He was ashamed to admit it, but no. He hadn't noticed a damn thing. His own guilt led him to avoid her like the plague, along with the hurt and longing in her eyes. The first time he saw her after he went back to Taylor, the devastation in her eyes had him running into his office, locking the door, and spending the rest of the day crying. He missed watching, feeling his son grow inside of her. He had lovingly and longingly watched as her body became fuller, ripe as Ric grew inside her. And with Bridget, the same was true. He never wanted Brooke more than when she was pregnant. She had a glow about her, a zeal in her eyes that made him want to toss her on the nearest surface and take her. He had missed, missed it all for the third time. He shook his head. No use crying over spilt milk now. He now understood the how, but he still needed the why. "Why?"

Why? She had asked herself that question, many a times. Particularly when it was Storm's hand she was crushing as another contraction hit her. Why hadn't she told Ridge? Why wasn't he with her, by her side? Then she would instantly see the picture on Ridge's desk of him and Thomas smiling happily together. He was happy with his son, in a family that had no complications. Not like theirs, where his half-siblings were calling him Dad. He deserved his happiness. And she and the kids deserved theirs, free of constantly looking over their shoulders wondering when Stephanie or Taylor was going to attack. So with her brother on one side, her mother on the other, and her sisters at the edge of the hospital bed, she brought Justin into the world without his father's knowledge. "My children were hurt, I was hurt, and I couldn't even begin to bring another child into the hurtful situation Ric, Bridget, and I were in. Justin deserved a life that was as complicated-free as humanly possible."

"I wouldn't have hurt him."

"Like you didn't hurt Budge and Ric."

He lowered his head. They could go tit for tat all night long, but that would get them no where. Exhaling, he asked the one question he truly feared the answer to. "Did you really believe in your heart that Justin was better off never knowing me?" He looked directly into her eyes, waiting and fearing her answer.

"No- -"

"So why did you do this? Why did you keep me from my son?"

"Because I didn't want him to feel second best. I didn't want him wondering why you spent the nights with Taylor and Thomas, but not with him, Ric, Bridget, and me. I didn't want you torn wondering who needed you more. Because I knew that wasn't going to be us. When it came between me and another woman, you always thought I was the stronger of the two and you would leave because you figured I would be okay and would manage without you. I wasn't going to allow my son to suffer like his brother and sister were because his mother had the audacity to be strong and able to take care of herself. Which now that I think about it, is completely egotistical and selfish of you to think Caroline and Taylor couldn't live without you, yet somehow they both had filling lives before you walked into their lives." Brooke stood up and walked away from Ridge. How could being strong deny her the man she had once loved with all her heart? She never understood that.

Ridge pondered Brooke's words and the truth that lay in them that he had never considered. Had he gone back to Caroline and later Taylor because he felt they needed him more and Brooke didn't? He had never thought about it like that before. But it seemed to be his pattern and that was the message that Brooke received. This was odd because he never would have categorized either Caroline or Taylor as weak or needy. He thought of them as strong women, maybe not as strong as Brooke, but definitely strong. Brooke, from their first date, reminded him in some ways of his mother. There was this fierceness about her that scared him, yet intrigued him. There was some aura around them both that said they would be okay, come hell or high water, they would emerge unscathed. He knew that wasn't exactly true, but it was how it seemed. All the years, Brooke put up with his mother's abuse and vicious attacks, she kept her head high and still allowed Ric and Bridget to have a relationship with their step-mother and their father. She was so classy and gracious. Sometimes he had felt unworthy, in awe of her, and scared, like Brooke didn't really need him. Maybe that's why he always found it easier to go with Caroline or Taylor because he was subconsciously waiting for the moment when Brooke didn't need him or found out he was flawed. Before she decided that she didn't want him around her children. "You- -," he started, breaking the growing silence. No, this wasn't about her. It wasn't her fault. This was about him. "I- - I'm no good for you. You could do so much better than me. I've always known that. Storm has always known that and said so."

Did she hear him correctly? Was he serious? She was too good for him. Was this his lame excuse for always leaving her? She turned and stared into his eyes. Oh my- - he was telling the truth. He actually believed he wasn't good enough for her. For her kids. The man with self-confidence up the ying-yang, feared he wasn't enough for her. She shook her head and laughed. Did she even believe this? "How could you- -"

"You were the first normal girl I had ever met. Your family, your life. You were the one of the first girls I had met in a long time that wasn't wearing designer labels or name dropping or discussing the country clubs their families belonged to or where thief families owned homes. You were wholesome and part of a functional family."

"Ridge, my family wasn't perfect- -"

"I know, but compared to mine. The Logans were like the Cleavers. Two parents who loved each other, loved all their kids equally. People whose sole purpose wasn't the all-mighty dollar. It was refreshing. It was humbling."

He had never told her any of this before.

"You were the beautiful, smart woman and I was the guy who oozed cockiness and arrogance and you just blew me away. I knew I was screwed up. I knew my mother's obsessive interest in me wasn't good or healthy nor was the way she for all intents and purposes ignored Kristen, Felicia, and Thorne. Yet, I did nothing about either problems. I took the path of least resistance. You gave 100 of your self and demanded the same in return. And I don't know if I was even capable of giving 100 to you or to anyone. To a certain extent I lived in fear that you would discover I was a fraud and find someone better. But you never did. Through thick and think you stood by me even when I was in the wrong or treated you badly, there you were hurt, but sill giving your all. I think your ability to forgive scared me most of all. I could only compare you to the only other woman that made such a huge impression on my life and while my mother forgave she never forgot and had a way of letting you know she never forgot. It was this cloud that hung over your relationship with her." Ridge took a breath as the memories poured over him. "Our baby died, I went back to Caroline, yet you took me back and loved me and never through it in my face. I was always waiting for the day when you would, mention it casually or snidely. But you never did. Did I even once apologized for not being there to comfort you? Did I apologize for letting us both grief in private separately?" He shook his head, as the tears streamed down his face and hers.

They cried in silence, staring out into the darkness of the night. Both reliving the past and digesting the new information that had gained.