Previously on Until the Moon is Full:
Her world turned upside down within a few hours.
He died...
for her sake.
She nearly did too.
But she lives.
With all the pain and regret that comes with living on.
Italics: thoughts
Italics+underline: dream
Chapter 14: My World has Already Fallen Apart... (私の世界はもう…壊された…)
I saw a familiar face, a smile that I loved to see.
And yet that smile was stained with blood, I could tell even from afar.
Without a word, I started running, through all the thorns and shrubs trying to obscure him, until, at last, I found him.
I panted, my breath crystallised in the freezing air.
He was just lying there, not moving, not breathing, but still, a compassionate smile was etched on his bloodstained face.
I collapsed onto my knees, crying, "I'm s-sorry...! P-please... come b-back to me...! Please!"
I reached out, wanting to intertwine my fingers with his, wanting to feel his warmth one more time.
Alas, he started to dissipate into ashes as soon as my fingertips touched him...
"Cologne!" she woke up with a gasp and she involuntarily yelled.
That's right... he's not here anymore...
She looked around her. A rather decent room. Where am I?
She got out of bed.
Ouch. Only then did she notice the bandages and bruises all over her body. Painful, but not painful enough to rival her loss.
She walked out of the door. "Kaoruko-san?" she saw the figure sitting on a sofa in the living room.
"Ah! Yuri-chan!" Kaoruko exclaimed and ran over to Yuri, "You're awake! Thank heavens!"
"How long have I been out?" Yuri asked, still feeling discombobulated inside.
"Almost two days..."
"Two days?!" she promptly snapped out of it, "Oh my goodness, mother must be worried sick, I need..."
"Yuri-chan, calm down! Please! You are in no condition to get anxious about anything. I told your mother you were attacked by a Desertrian and was unconscious, but I found you so you would be staying at my place for a day or two," she paused, then sighed in relief, "So glad you woke up within that 'a day or two'."
"I see. What about Chypre and Coffret, are they okay?"
"Yes, thanks to you. They are now searching for new Precures. If you want to, we can have Coupe pinpoint their location."
"No, no, they're fine is all I need to hear."
"Yuri-chan, are you okay?" Kaoruko put a hand on her shoulder, "About..."
Seeing that Yuri's face was devoid of even a sliver of vitality, she decided to change the topic, "Do you need to stay longer? You can if you want to, stay until your conditions improve, it's no troub..."
"No, thank you so much for looking after me, and treating my injuries. But I should return home."
"Then... how about I whip up some lunch? You haven't eaten in two days..."
"Thank you, but I don't want to eat anything."
"Okay..." Kaoruko continued tentatively, "Say, answer me, is it regarding... that... after all, Yuri-chan?"
"Hmm?" Yuri deadpanned, Kaoruko couldn't tell if she was pretending not to feel any pain or she was feeling numb because she was in too much pain.
"N-never mind..."
"Well then, I'll go pack up my things and leave." Yuri re-entered the room and retrieved the few of her belongings. On top of everything was her broken Precure Seed.
This is the shape of my heart...?
She put it into her pocket and continued gathering her things.
"Yuri-chan!" her mother cried when she opened the door and immediately took her into a tight embrace, "You're safe! Oh I was so worried! I couldn't bring myself to start with the 'what ifs'! Thank goodness you're fine!"
Safe? Maybe. Fine? I doubt that.
"Do you need to eat lunch?" Haruna continued.
"No, I've already eaten," she lied.
Haruna then went on and on, asking her if she needed this or that.
"Mother," she interrupted, "I'm fine. Kaoruko-san took great care of me. Now I just want to go to my room and rest a bit more."
"Okay, I'll call you when it's dinner time."
"Thank you," she walked — or staggered straight to her room. "Right! I gotta properly thank Curator Hanasaki!" was what she vaguely heard her mom saying before she entered her room.
As soon as she closed the door, her hands flew to her mouth and tears rolled down her cheeks rapidly.
She may have been out for two days, but the memories were still stinging as though it happened right that moment.
He's gone...
My dearest, most beloved friend...
Why am I so foolish? So incapable? He cared for me more than anyone else, and yet I...
"Cologne...!" she wept as silently as she could, "Why?!"
It's all my fault...
I hate this! I hate this weakness! I hate myself!
Because of me! My stubbornness! My choice! It's all because of me that he died!
It's all... because of me...
Her eyes drifted around her room, and then as if she had lost control, she staggered to her desk mindlessly.
I should've been the one...
Her sight was fixed on a cutter knife on her desk.
It's all my fault...
Her fingertips touched the knife...
Everything would've been better off had I not...
She slapped her own face to stop herself. Snap out of it! Mother won't be able to take it if I was gone too. Besides...
She took out the piece of her Precure Seed and put it near to her heart. I need to cherish this life that Cologne protected.
I need to live, to drag myself on, otherwise he would've sacrificed for nothing, for worthless emptiness.
She then put a finger to her lips. That will be the first and the last time I feel this way...
Maybe if I had retrieved the Heartcatch Mirage earlier...
Maybe if I had trusted him more and had listened to him and went to find a comrade...
Maybe if I had realised earlier that I felt the same way...
She shook off her thoughts and went around her room to find a string or a thread. She found one of her necklaces, she then pulled out the chain and connected it to her Precure Seed.
I'll keep his memories alive... that's all I have of him...
That night, she cried herself to sleep.
She dreamt, again.
"Wake up...! Please...! Open your eyes!" I pleaded as I buried my face in his chest, my hands grasping his cape so tightly that my knuckles turned white.
But the only one that woke up was her, with bloodshot eyes and a drenched pillow.
The nightmare was gone, but the pain was still there. It would always be.
The rest of the her Spring Break was as uneventful. She did nothing except locking herself in her room, crying when her mother was at work, and cooking for herself and her mother. Even when cooking, she couldn't find it in her to concentrate. Once, she didn't even noticed that she had cut her index finger by accident until it started bleeding.
Half of her heart died with Cologne. The remaining half knew not how to love anymore.
"Yuri!" Momoka called out cheerfully, the new semester has started, "It's a new semester, are you excited?"
"Yes, of course," she replied curtly and gave a flat smile.
"Yuri... something feels odd about you, are you feeling fine?"
No I'm not!
"Yes, I'm fine."
"Okay... now, let's walk faster, we're running late. By the way, can you help me check the grammar of my English reading report..."
Yuri nodded along without listening and followed.
Even though Cologne is no longer here, the world won't stop spinning, so I have to carry on too. She thought to herself.
But she knew her world had already fallen apart.
End of Chapter 14
A/N: No, not yet, bear with me for just one more week. Ah, and also, I made something special for this fanfic, a music video. The song doesn't belong to me, but I rewrite the lyrics in Japanese and sang it, trust me, you will want to see this!
Use this link (replace space bar with "."): youtu be/ZovDBReS2EE
If you want the English translation of the lyrics, turn on captions in YouTube. I'll put the translation for the fanarts in the description.