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New Year's Day
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Jacob yawns his way through patrol. Seth doesn't fare much better. We should put doggy bowls full of coffee on all our back porches,Seth quips.
You guys do know how to throw a party, man. Not one dull moment. Next time you should invite a couple leeches, round out the guest list, let us loose on them. After all, no one came to physical blows last night.
Just verbal ones,Seth sighs.
Yeah. How's your sister doing?
Pretty pissed at Sam. Other than that, I'm not sure. You know, after she found out about imprinting, she stopped being quite so angry and started being mostly depressed.
I remember. I feel like an idiot that I didn't see past the bitchiness for what it really was.
Well, she did that on purpose, didn't she? She didn't want you or anybody else to pity her, Seth reminds him.
It worked, I guess. Do you know that I almost feel bad for Sam? Almost. Not quite.
Tentatively Seth says, He hung around last night.
What do you mean, he stayed late at the party?
No, Seth sighs. He was in the woods outside the house. He left with Emily right after you did, but then he showed back up sometime late. I got up to take a leak and happened to look outside. He was sitting in the backyard, leaned up against a tree.
I wonder if Emily knows.
I doubt it. It was really late, and he took off when he figured out I'd seen him.
You're probably right. She wouldn't have wanted him doing that, and if there's anything I know about Sam Uley, it's that he's fucking whipped. So if she'd been awake, he'd never have been able to do it. Jacob sighs. He should have figured out how he really felt about Leah a year ago. Not now.
Seth asks, Why now, do you think? After all these months.
Because she might leave. Because she's moving on. He didn't have to give her up, not really, when she was still so in love with him. But he understands that he could actually lose her now. He never really understood that before.
Do you think it's too late for them, Jake? She used to be so happy with him. I want her happy again.
Don't get ahead of yourself, Seth. It's not as if he's gone and left Emily or anything. It's not like Leah wants him to.
I can't even imagine him leaving her. You know, I never blamed her for anything, but now I see how Rachel is with Paul, and well…
Jacob answers, Maybe if Sam had never slashed up her face, she would have held out longer.
For once, Seth allows a dark edge to creep into his voice. My sister deserves better than both of them.
Yeah. She does.
I can't believe Paul left with that girl.
Jacob chuckles, Rachel was pretty clear with him about what he should do. And it's not like she told him to go jump off a bridge or something. She assigned him a task he is usually well equipped to handle.
Girlfriend or not, she's been really good for him.
And I have to give him credit. I was so pissed when he imprinted on her. I thought the life she wanted to live was over. But he's been really good to her too. Did you hear them talking? She actually said she'd dump that Trevor guy if Paul really needed her to.
I did hear that, Seth answers. I was shocked at his answer.
Me too. I didn't think he had it in him. It actually made me root for the guy, if you can believe it. But don't you dare tell him I said that!
Did you see the look on Emily's face when she saw him leave with Elle? Leah said a bird could have flown into her open mouth, and she wouldn't have noticed. I think Paul is her new favorite person.
Jacob laughs, Uh oh, it's a sign of the impending apocalypse! Do you think she wants to leave with Brad?
Probably, wouldn't you if you were her? I love having her around, but I couldn't blame her for wanting to get out of here.
It's just a matter of time. As far as I'm concerned, she can go as soon as she says the word. Are the two of them coming today? Jacob refers to the community center, where the elders have arranged for food and flat screen televisions to watch the bowl games. The party is expected to be a large one, not just limited to the pack.
I don't know. They were both still asleep when I left. I think they were originally going to go, but after Brad surprised her about asking her to move with him, I'm guessing her answer will probably have something to do with what happens today. How about you?
Yeah. We'll stay as long as Bella wants to. I think she wants to be there for Rachel and Leah, if she comes.
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Rachel turns out not to need any moral support, but she enjoys Bella's company nonetheless. When Bella and Charlie arrive in the early afternoon, Rachel is seated next to Elle. The two girls are leaning together sharing a plate of hor d'oeuvres and laughing. Rachel waves Bella over, wiping a tear from her eye.
Rachel chuckles breathlessly and says, "Hey, Bella. I was just telling Elle about the first time I met Paul over the summer."
"You were?" Bella asks, surprised.
Elle nods knowingly. "Were you there?" she asks. At Bella's nod of assent, she lowers her voice. "I think I know that girl he was hitting on. Rachel couldn't remember her name, but she gave me the description. It must have been that slutty girl from Forks, right? Lauren?"
"Yeah, she was in my class," Bella replies.
Elle looks embarrassed for a moment. "Oh, gosh, I'm sorry. Is she one of your friends?"
Bella hurriedly answers, "No, not exactly, no. She doesn't really like me."
"Your boyfriend's hot, so I'll bet she can't stand you," Elle nods.
"Yeah, she was actually hitting on Jacob when I got to the beach that day. He was tripping over his own feet trying to get away from her. After that, she set her sights on Seth Clearwater." Bella isn't used to female gossip, but this is sort of fun. No wonder Billy and Charlie do this all the time.
"Not little baby Seth!" Elle answers.
"She had no idea how old he is," Bella clarifies. "Paul was the one who told her, and she was really embarrassed."
Rachel jumps in. "After that, they were kind of all over each other. They were practically going at it right there on the beach when I got there."
"That does sound like Paul, doesn't it?" Elle grins. Bells is a bit perplexed at the turn the conversation has taken. Is Elle dating Paul now or not? Elle continues. "At least, it sounds like the old Paul."
Rachel lowers her voice conspiratorially and asks Elle, "So did you get to see a bit of the old Paul last night?"
Elle smirks and answers, "Oh, you have no idea. Lately he's a perfect gentleman, but you know, sometimes you really don't want a gentleman."
Bella just has to ask. "So are the two of you..."
Elle looks at Rachel. "Honestly, before Rachel whipped him into shape, I'd have sooner dated Old Quil over Paul Lahote again. But this one put him in his place. After she knocked him down a few pegs, he grew up a ton. Definitely worth a second look."
"So what did he say about me?" Rachel is curious.
Elle blinks a few times, considering what to say. "Well, you already know he's head over heels for you."
Bella gawks at Elle. Rachel herself is surprised. "He said that?"
Elle shrugs. "Not in so many words. But he talks about you so much, and I know he's always going to see you in Seattle."
"Is that okay with you?" Rachel asks.
Elle looks thoughtful. "It's not like I was looking to get into something serious when he started coming around again, you know. And he made it clear he wasn't trying to get into my pants. I don't know, we started talking a lot. And he pays attention. He actually listens to me. Like, he's almost as good at listening as a girlfriend. Before, when we hooked up, I knew pretty quickly afterward that I was just a notch on his bedpost. But it was different this time around. He's like a whole different person now, and I know it's not all just an act to get me in the sack, since he made it clear that he didn't want that from me."
"Until last night," Rachel prompts.
"Mmm," Elle's mouth quirks upward. "Until last night. I don't know what you said to him, Rachel, but I think I owe you a thank you."
The girls bust out laughing, drawing the attention of most of the other guests in the room, including Paul who stands on the opposite side of the room in front of one of the football games next to Jared and Kim. Elle walks over to him. Paul tucks her under his arm while he shoots Rachel a wistful smile over his shoulder. She smiles gently back.
Bella and Rachel wander off to another room, far enough away that they won't be overheard. "So I take it you're okay?" Bella asks.
Rachel takes a big breath and nods. "I am. More importantly, I think he is too."
"Jacob told me you said you'd break up with Trevor if he needed you to."
Rachel gives her a small smile. "I did say that."
"Did you mean it?"
Rachel looks surprised. "Of course! I wouldn't have said so if I didn't. But I'm glad I don't have to. Trevor means a lot to me."
"Did you expect Paul to let you go?"
"I had no idea what he would say. But what Becca said to me really stuck. I was hanging on, and it was unfair."
"Is it weird to see him here with Elle?"
Rachel tilts her head and looks at the ceiling thoughtfully. "A little, I suppose. But they seem good together, don't you think? Mostly I want him to be happy. If the two of us just got together, I'd always wonder if he actually wanted it, or if it was just the crazy werewolf magic."
"But you think you could be with him, right?"
Rachel nods. "Now I do. The guy he was when I met him? Not so much. But he's grown on me a lot."
"So why now?" Bella asks.
"Everyone tells me he'd be the happiest with me, but when I look at him and Elle, I know that there isn't a single false thing about the two of them. Whatever they've got, even if it isn't as strong as what Paul and I have right now, and I know it isn't, not yet, it's real. I know neither of them is looking to get married or anything, not right now. But down the road, who knows? Whatever he has with her or with other women in the future, it'll be what he actually wants, and not just what's forced on him. If you love someone, you'll let them go to let them be happy, right?"
Bella considers this for a minute. If someone else could make Jacob happier than she could, would she be able to let him go? Somehow, she doesn't think she could be as graceful as Rachel is about it. The two girls rejoin the party until Jacob arrives in the late afternoon.
Bella launches herself at Jacob. It has only been a matter of hours since they parted, but she still gets a giddy rush when his eyes light up at the sight of her. She jumps into his waiting arms and he chuckles, "Hey beautiful. Long time no see."
"Mmm. You smell good," she notes, her nose buried into the side of his neck.
"Not as good as you," he answers. "And you wouldn't have said that half an hour ago. I was kind of filthy from patrol." He notices that they have built up a bit of an audience. The pack and their fathers are used to their displays of affection, but there are plenty of other people at the party. Unfortunately, his body doesn't care whether or not they are alone. Her display of enthusiasm and her soft body clinging to his produces an instantaneous reaction, and he hardens against her.
Bella realizes what is going on at the same moment he does. "People are staring, aren't they?" she whispers, her brown eyes growing wide.
"Yes. So you're saying I shouldn't just take you up against the wall next to the flat screen TV?" he jokes as he sets her back on her feet, but he doesn't let go of her, leaving his hands on her lower back. He is afraid that if she backs away, someone will see his arousal trapped between his thigh and his jeans.
She blushes and keeps her face turned toward him. "Much as I'd like that, I'd prefer a dozen witnesses or fewer."
Jacob can't stop his own involuntary reaction to the pink flush of her skin. Oh well, in for a penny, in for a pound. He ducks his head toward her and whispers in her ear, sending tingles down her spine. "I can promise not to take off any of your clothing in front of these people, but I don't know if I'm capable of keeping my hands to myself." Slowly, he slides his hands down to cup her bottom. At that moment, he sees little Claire standing off to the side sucking her thumb and staring at them. "Hi Uncey Jay!" She grins when he spots her. Bella is immediately mortified and tries to spring away from him. Knowing that her body is the only thing blocking Claire's view of his crotch, he refuses to let go. "Watcha doin' wit' Auntie Bewa?" Claire asks.
For once, Jacob is speechless. Bella recovers before he does. "Jacob asked me to come close so he could tell me a secret," she answers before beckoning the little girl closer. She manages to twist around in Jacob's embrace, bends over awkwardly, and whispers, "Don't tell, but it's that you're the prettiest girl here."
Then she looks up and sees Quil glaring at them. Quil calls to Claire, "C'mon, sweetheart, let's go find you a snack." As he sweeps the little girl into his arms, he whisper yells, "Get a hold of yourselves! You're corrupting small children!" Behind him, Paul and Jared can barely contain their laughter, which is when Bella realizes the compromising position she is in, bent over at the waist, her behind pressing into Jacob's clothed erection as he grips her by the hips.
"Not intentionally," Jacob whispers back. His ears are bright red.
Jared hoots, "Get a room!"
Kim steps over to take Claire from Quil, joking, "Cut him some slack. If he lets go of her, everyone here is going to get a view of the snake in Jake's pants."
Claire immediately perks up. "Snake in Uncey Jay's pants?" she yells. "Wanna see!"
Paul and Jared collapse into hysterical fits of laughter as Jacob sees Billy, Charlie Swan and Claire's parents glaring at him from their seats near the television. Jacob's erection finally withers away, allowing him to stumble backward away from Bella.
Stifling her laughter, Rachel rescues a beet-red Bella, tugging her into the girl's bathroom, shooting a falsely stern look at her baby brother. Jacob unsuccessfully tries to tuck his enormous form into a shadowed corner as his girlfriend leaves him to his fate. In the bathroom, Bella leans with her back against the sink and hides her face in her hands. Rachel crosses her arms and notes with a smile on her face, "That was classic. It's creepy to think about my baby brother that way, but the humiliation he just suffered made it all worth it. Leah is going to be so pissed she missed that."
"I'm sure she'll get the replay in the pack mind," Bella mumbles.
"Ooh, the pack mind. Reason number three that I have second thoughts about ever sleeping with Paul," Rachel shudders. "Bad enough that a bunch of random guys would not only know what I look like naked, but probably get vivid replays of what my 'O' face looks like. Even worse that one of them would be my brother!" At Bella's horrified expression, Rachel realizes that Bella is in that exact situation and tries to backpedal. "Oh, gosh! I'm sorry! It was just a joke! I'm sure Jacob has good control."
"Yeah, right," Bella groans.
Rachel crosses the room, sighs, and pats Bella's arm comfortingly. "I know. What do teenage boys think about other than sex? At least it's probably flattering, right?"
Bella buries her face in her hands again. "You're not helping!"
Then Rachel wrinkles her nose. "Also, eww. Sex with my baby brother, eww! Just don't touch my baby brother and everything will be fine," she shudders.
Outside, Jacob is faring no better than Bella. At least she is hidden away. He shuffles over to Paul and Jared, whose jokes at his expense are infinitely preferable to Charlie Swan's death glare boring into his back. Eventually he is rescued by a 95 yard kickoff return for a touchdown on the big screen in the front of the room, and everyone's attention is finally diverted away from him. Bella, hearing the exclamations from the main room, finally emerges from the bathroom. She and Jacob make their way to the buffet, then carefully sit down several feet away from one another in the annex off the main room.
Searching for something distracting to discuss, Bella begins, "Jake. I want to talk to you about something before everyone else gets here." Any lingering arousal Jacob feels disappears in that instant. Bella's tone makes it clear that whatever she wants to discuss, he probably isn't going to like it. "I know this is hard for you, Jacob, but I really think we should consider starting a fund for the pack."
Jacob's tone is clipped. "It's your money, Bells. You can do what you want with it."
She tries to lean over to take his hand, but he stands up and begins to pace. "I want to be helpful," she explains.
He frowns, unable to stop himself from comparing himself to Edward Cullen. He thinks of his old rival and the existence that the vampire offered to Bella. The price was too high, certainly. She would have turned into a monster, but she would have gained power, wealth, and immortality in exchange. All things Jacob is in no position to give her. Jacob knows that Bella was always tempted by Edward's offer to show her the world. Jacob can give her his heart, soul, and body, but for now at least, those things are all stuck in La Push. The offer of Edward's money showcases all of his inadequacies. "We don't need help."
"You guys have done so much for me," she persists. "I feel like all I do is take and take, and now I have the chance to give back."
"We don't do what we do for payment. It's not about money, and it certainly isn't for that kind of wealth."
"Of course you don't!" she exclaims. "You do it because you want to help me, because you want to protect your home. I know that." He stops and stares out the window overlooking the nearest houses. It would take three or four of them to equal the size of the Cullen mansion, the home Bella intended to be hers. "But that doesn't mean that you don't deserve some compensation for the time you invest, the risk to yourselves, the strain on your families." Jacob doesn't have any argument against this and he knows it. He remains silent, so she continues. "Take Leah, for instance. This life has taken almost everything from her, Sam, her friends, her privacy, she doesn't have time to work, so she can't afford much other than Peninsula. Once she's free, she could go anywhere, do anything, if only she had the resources."
"Leah's not indigent, Bella, her mom's a nurse. Sue makes decent money on her own."
"Sue's a single mom trying to feed Seth and Leah," Bella says gently. "Of course she's making it work, but I'll bet you things would be easier if there was something extra coming in. Sam basically works seven days a week, no time off at all. When does he get a day off? I can help, Jake. I want to help."
Jacob knows the truth of Bella's words, and that she isn't trying to insult the tribe. But the words that ring in his ears are about Leah going anywhere and doing anything. Bella can go anywhere, can do anything, even without Edward Cullen's money. He knows that Peninsula Community College isn't what Bella always dreamed of. And Jacob has aspirations of going off to college and making something more of himself too. But right now, he can't see how his Alpha duties could possibly be compatible with leaving his home. Is he going to tie Bella down where she doesn't want to be, or is he going to have to let her go?
"I know you mean well, Bella," he can't keep the frustration out of his voice.
"So is it okay with you? I won't do it if it isn't all right with you." Jacob can't bring himself to say yes, so he just gives her a curt nod. "I'd like to talk to the council about setting up the fund sooner rather than later," she says tentatively.
There is no point in stopping her. His packmates have already enthusiastically endorsed her idea. And with or without a donation to the tribe, she still has an obscene amount of money of her own now. If she is going to use it to leave him, there isn't much he can do to stop her. "They're all here right now, anyway," he admits.
"Oh, gosh. You're right. Do you mind if I go find your dad and see what he thinks? I don't know the next time I'll be around when they're all together." He nods again without turning back to look at her. "Are you coming with me?"
"In a minute. I'll be there in a minute."
She senses he needs the time to himself, so she steps out the door. She doesn't see Jasmine slip in behind her.
The hairs on the back of Jacob's neck stand up, and his body stiffens with tension. He realizes she is there before she says anything. He doesn't turn around. He hears her shuffle her feet, trying to get him to notice her without having to say something. He wills her to go away as he shoves down the urge to growl at her.
"Everything all right? You look kind of stressed," she asks. She sounds sincere in her concern for him.
"Fine, thanks." He forces himself to turn around and smile politely. He examines her closely, objectively, and tries to determine what it is about her that aggravates his wolf, who itches to rush after Bella.
She smiles warmly back at him, genuinely pleased to be talking with him, even if he can't seem to be anything other than monosyllabic around her. But then she blurts out, "I'm sorry your girlfriend is being insensitive."
"Excuse me?" Jacob is startled enough by her statement that his aggression twists into confusion.
"I'm sorry, I swear I wasn't intentionally eavesdropping. But I heard her offer money to the council. I know it rubs you the wrong way." Jacob is alarmed. Just how much did Jasmine hear? He struggles to remember the exact content of their conversation. Nonplussed by his expression, she continues. "I mean, rich little white girl graces us with her presence and wants to throw some of her wealth at the poor folks on the Rez? It's a little insulting, isn't it?"
"No, no, it's not like that, she's not that way at all," he protests.
"What's it like, then?" she asks quizzically.
He can't figure out what to tell her. He shakes his head. "She's not rich, or at least, not yet." It is a technically, he knows. It is only a matter of days or weeks before Bella will be absurdly wealthy. He continues anyway. "Her dad's a cop and her mom's a schoolteacher. And she practically grew up here." Which is a bit of an exaggeration, but Jacob knows that La Push feels as much like Bella's home as Charlie's house does.
Jasmine quirks a brow. "No she didn't, she just visited over the summer."
He squints at her. "You remember that?"
"Oh, uh," she stutters. "I remember everybody, Jacob. The other kids in our classes, your older sisters, Quil and Embry, the kids my cousins were friends with," Jasmine hopes he doesn't call her bluff. She has no idea who Leah, Seth, and Brady were friends with, and other than Jacob and her very closest friends, she can barely remember anything about the kids she went to school with. The only name she remembers is Sam Uley, and that is probably just due to all the drama from the night before. "And your girlfriend wasn't just a tourist who showed up once, she kept coming back."
Jacob gets a wistful, happy smile on his face thinking about Bella's summer visits to Forks during their childhood. His wolf is equally distracted thinking of her. Jasmine is simultaneously depressed to see his immediate reaction, and relieved that he didn't probe further. The fact is that she remembers Bella Swan vividly from the rare instances she caught a glimpse of the girl. Jacob had never looked happier than when the older girl was by his side.
Jasmine, realizing that this is the first time Jacob hasn't looked annoyed with her since she returned, pursues the line of questioning. "Is she visiting her dad for the holidays?"
"Huh?" He breaks out of his Bella reverie. "No. She moved back a couple years ago."
"That must have made you happy," she answers. He doesn't notice the way her expression falls.
Jacob's wolf settles inside him. He flashes a wide grin at her. "You have no idea."
Jasmine doesn't actually want to hear about the other girl, but he seems so pleased now. And she really does want to catch up with her old friend. Her tall, gorgeous, muscular friend. She smiles weakly. "I'm kind of hungry, how about you? Looks like you finished your food. Come make another plate with me and tell me about her."
Jacob falls into step behind her, easily prattling on about the love of his life. Jasmine smiles and nods in the right places. She focuses on the sound of his voice and the expression on his face rather than the content of his conversation, a tactic that allows her to avoid getting too depressed. Jacob sticks to safe topics like fixing up their motorcycles in his garage and their Valentine's Day "date" with Mike Newton. His eyes light up as he talks, and she watches the warmth in his face. She recalls the same happy, boyish expression from their childhood. She marvels at how much he has changed, how much he has grown up, subtly eyeing the musculature under his shirt and the pleasing angles of his face. But all the same, she still sees the bright spirit of the youth she remembers shining in his eyes.
Meanwhile, Bella speaks with her father and Billy in an empty office. Unsurprisingly, both of them are enthusiastic about her intention to support the pack with Edward's money. Billy feels a weight lifting off his shoulders as they speak. He is immensely proud of his son, of all the wolves, but the parent in him has worried since the day Sam Uley disappeared, only to return two weeks later aged by several years. As much as he loves having Jacob near, he wants his son to have every option available to him, every door open. The moment his son was struck with fever, he felt the impact of all those doors slamming shut in the depths of his heart. With Bella's offer, he can feel a few of those doors opening back up again. His son the Alpha may not be able to leave the reservation anytime soon, but now he could afford to pay for an expensive online degree, start a business, or simply devote himself full time to his pack duties without the worry of never bringing home a paycheck.
Charlie, on the other hand, thinks of it as poetic justice. He always knew Edward Cullen was simply wrong. His daughter and the the boys of La Push were forced to bear the brunt of his destruction. It is only fair that Cullen's estate should help rebuild their lives.
"How much were you thinking, Bells?" Charlie asks.
She shrugs and looks at the ground. "All of it?"
Billy coughs in surprise. "That's totally unnecessary, dear. There's no reason."
"Well, I don't want to just support the current pack. I think a big chunk of it should go to future packs."
Charlie suggests, "Putting some of it aside to invest should take care of that. Let it sit and grow and pay out for future generations. That still doesn't require the entire estate. Keep some of it for school, to buy your own house with later, a rainy day. You'll probably want to pass some on to your own kids too, Bells."
Bella blushes and looks away. Billy grins at her and teases, "She knows the money for the next generation of wolves includes her kids, Charlie."
Charlie finds himself frowning and smiling all at once. "Dear lord, just not anytime soon. Please. I don't want to be a granddad yet, do you, Bill?"
Bella stands up and excuses herself in embarrassment, "I'm going to go find Jake now. Let him know what you both thought." She scurries away from the sound of their laughter. She hurries down the hallway and rounds the corner into the main room, where she stops in her tracks.
Jacob is seated in a chair two feet away from Jasmine, smiling and laughing. Bella flashes back to the picture of the two toddlers in the sandbox, Jasmine gazing at Jacob with rapture in her eyes. She sees the exact same expression on the beautiful girl's face. She examines Jasmine. She is simply gorgeous. She is as stunning as Leah, not as tall but more voluptuous. Jasmine leans toward Jacob. Her body appears drawn towards his like a magnet, and she smiles and reaches out to touch his knee with her hand. Bella discovers that her feet are glued to the tile floor. Her heart stutters in her chest.
Jacob freezes at the touch, suddenly losing track of his monologue about Bella's cooking. God. It's happening again. Painful heat shoots through his cock as his wolf growls with anger. His heart skips along with Bella's. He desperately fights the urge to throw Jasmine across the room, and in resisting the instinct, all he can do is hold still. He vibrates with tension, locked in a battle with himself. He chants a mantra in his mind, Don't phase don't phase don't phase, and manages not to move at all. If he allows his muscles to unlock so he can scoot away from her, he is going to toss her across a room full of people.
After an indeterminate amount of time, perhaps seconds or minutes long, Seth appears by his cousin's side. He had arrived while they weren't paying attention and had been carefully monitoring the pair. Seth touches her shoulder with an artificially happy greeting, and she releases Jacob. He immediately feels Bella's eyes on him. She looks stricken. In a rush to get to her, he stands without thinking, knocking his plate of food to the ground.
It is as good an excuse as any to extricate himself from his conversation with Jasmine. He hurriedly cleans the floor. When he turns around to find Bella, she is gone. He rushes after her, immediately finding her in a lounge. She sits on a worn leather couch twisting the hem of her sweatshirt in her hand, and she doesn't meet his eyes. So he kneels at her feet and takes her hands in his. His penis hardens fully at the contact, aching uncomfortably in its downward angle against his thigh. But as much as his wolf growls at him to strip her naked, he knows this is neither the time nor the place.
So he settles for burying his face in her lap and wrapping his arms around her waist. She instinctively wraps herself around him and mentally chides herself for her jealousy. Jacob hasn't done anything wrong and she knows it. On the contrary, he obviously needs her comfort.
He mutters, "Sorry I'm being an ass about the money."
"'Sokay," she shushes him.
Eventually she straightens and starts to stroke her hands up and down his arms until he begins to relax with a shaky sigh. Bella tightens her grip on his forearms. "It's okay, Jake. I'm here with you."
He pulls her more tightly against him. "I know, and having you here makes everything so much better. But what am I going to do once school starts? I always need you, Bells, I always want you, but when she's around, the urge is just overwhelming."
Bella feels tension building up in her gut. Jacob has reassured her that he only wants her, that he loves only her, but she can't help but worry that what he really feels toward the voluptuous girl is not irrational anger but a deep seated attraction. After all, why else would he get aroused when Jasmine touches him? "What do you think might happen?" she asks anxiously.
He shakes his head in frustration. "I don't know. I'm afraid I'll phase in front of her or something. Or worse yet, phase so close that I hurt her like Sam hurt Emily."
She can't quite hear him, muffled as he is against her legs. So she draws him to sit next to her on the couch and turns her body so that she faces him, but she can't quite look in his eyes. Instead, she takes a deep breath and holds his hands in hers, staring at their joined hands. "You seemed to be getting along pretty well at first. Not exactly like she was at risk."
He smiles, but she doesn't look up to see it. "She found my one weakness and exploited it. She got me started talking about my favorite thing."
Irrationally, she thinks, Green Eyes? Big breasts? But what comes out of her mouth thankfully isn't so petty, "Cars?"
He grins wider and tips her chin up so she has no choice but to look at him. "Silly girl, no. You. She asked me about you, so I started talking about you, and then I couldn't shut up."
"Oh," she says sheepishly.
"It was the first time I've been around her that I felt remotely normal. Until she touched my knee, anyway."
And Bella's jealousy rises again. She drops her eyes to the arousal still evident in his lap. "Is your body telling you something?"
"Yeah, definitely," he answers immediately. "There's something going on, and I just wish I knew what it was."
"No, Jake. You're not paying attention. I've seen the way she looks at you, and she's only been back for a few days. You have such a strong reaction to her, too." He searches her face, still confused about what she is asking. She frowns and mumbles, "It's normal to be attracted to girls other than your girlfriend." Bella can't help mentally comparing herself to Jasmine, and in her own mind at least, she falls far short.
"Oh, honey," he sighs. He moves one hand to gently nudge her chin up again with his curved index finger.
Before he can say anything else, though, she continues, "I know you've said you only see me, Jake. And I know you love me. But she's beautiful, and I don't expect you not to see that."
He shakes his head and smiles at her, but she won't meet his eyes to see it. "There's only you, Bells. There has only ever been you."
She nods, still not looking at him. "I know you love me, Jake. But you're a guy, a teenage guy, and she's sexy and curvy and pretty and kind of throwing herself at you, and your body wants her," she whispers.
He chuckles, "I know she's attractive." Bella's stomach drops immediately. "But I swear I don't want her that way. Leah is every bit as pretty as she is, and I don't want her either. I want you." Bella isn't convinced, and her expression shows it. He grins at her and tips her chin up further, forcing her to look him in the eye. "I want you, Bells. Always have. She's pretty, but you're beautiful, don't you get that?"
Bella frowns and shakes her head. "You're sweet, but I've got eyes and a mirror."
Jacob sees that he isn't getting anywhere with Bella. So he leans over to thread his hands through her hair, cupping the back of her skull gently, and hovers his lips just over the spot behind her ear that drives her crazy. "You're beautiful." He drops his voice to a husky whisper. His breath stirs the hairs on her neck and causes rippling tingles down her spine. "I can just fall into your big brown eyes. They're warm and rich, just like this thick, silky hair." He grips a fistful tightly. "Your little nose is just adorable, and I love doing this to it." He shifts to give her a sweet Eskimo kiss before returning his lips behind her ear. "Your skin is so soft, so smooth." He runs his lips down her neck to illustrate. "And it's so sensitive to my touch. I love it." He moves as if to kiss her on the lips, but hovers there instead. "And your mouth, baby," he actually groans when he says this. "Your pink lips are so lickable, and you've got this natural pout that drives me crazy." He nips at her full bottom lip with his teeth, and she gasps. "Your neck is perfect for this." He trails kisses down her jaw and along the length of her neck. He spies the still open door and returns his lips to her ear. "And if we were really alone, I'd pull off all your clothing so I could show you just what I love about your body. But we're not, so I guess I just have to tell you. Your hands are delicate, and they fit exactly in mine. Your breasts fit perfectly in my mouth, and they're just so, so pretty," he groans, and and she moans softly in response to his words. "Your nipples are exactly the right size, not too big, not too small, and they taste so damn good. You have this itty bitty little waist, and your hips are just right for grabbing onto when I'm in you. And your legs. Man, your legs. Slender and long and they just go all the way up. Your ass is round and tight and high and oh, god, Bells. You can't imagine what it looks like when I'm fucking you from behind." He growls and yanks her onto his lap, grinding his erection into her. "There are these little dimples low in your back that I just want to lick. My thumbs fit perfectly in them when I take you. Your back has that flawless skin and the dip of your spine is feminine and sexy. And that sweet, sweet pussy. Baby, so soft, so pink, and it grabs onto me like wet, hot velvet. You're incredibly, insanely tight. I can't believe you can take my whole cock into that tiny, taut little body, but you do, and ohhh, it's so fucking good."
Between his mysterious arousal from Jasmine's touch and his lustful train of thought about Bella, Jacob is ready to shut the door and demonstrate exactly what he means. He eyes the small window in the door and makes a split second decision when he smells the effect his words had on her body. He lifts her off him and shuts the door gently, clicking the lock and flipping the light switch off. Her eyes widen in surprise as they adjust to the dim light filtering in the window through the curtains. "If anyone walks by," she begins.
He nods as he stalks toward her. "That's why it's perfect in here, baby. No one will ever suspect I'm fucking you in a room with a window to the hallway." It is idiotic logic, but he couldn't care less. He tugs her to her feet and backs her into the corner to the right of the door with a hand in the center of her chest. His body heat soothes her nerves and sets her on edge all at once. "I thought I told you to wear more skirts," he growls as he flicks open the fly of her jeans.
She drags through her lust addled brain to find her wits. She can't believe she is doing this. Again. But Jacob's hunger is her hunger, and it is overwhelming. "I thought you liked a challenge?" she says as she trails her fingers over the burning skin under his shirt.
He bats her hand away. "You're the one whose body we're examining here, not mine." He works her pants and underwear off, then starts to undo the buttons of her shirt.
She looks down at his hands. "I don't think you technically have to take that off to get where you're going, Jake."
"I need to see your skin, Bella," he growls as he parts the last button from its hole. "I need to see all of you." He slides the shirt down her arms and drinks in the sight of her.
Hesitantly, she glances at the door a few feet away. She bites her lip and reaches around her back to undo her bra. She drops it on the pile of her clothes. When she turns back toward him, his eyes are black with lust.
"I only see you, Bells," he whispers harshly. He rakes his eyes up and down her fully exposed form as she reaches out to tug up the hem of his shirt. She wants to see his body almost as much as he needs to see hers. He obligingly whips it off. Then she works to open his fly and lower his pants down far enough that his cock springs free. She moves to take his hard heat in her hand, but he stops her with two fingers. Then he licks his palm and grasps himself with it, fisting himself before her, smoothing weeping precum across his broad head of his dick and pumping himself a few times. She watches, enraptured. He repeats the action until his enormous length shines with moisture.
"Are you ready for me, baby?" He slides two fingers of his other hand between her thighs and finds her soaked. He smirks and dips his fingers inside, shallowly, teasing her and making her lean back against the wall for support. She gasps and drops her head back. His smirk deepens as he thrusts his fingers deep inside, and she moans. "Shh." He takes his hand away from her and places a finger on her lips as she whimpers in protest. "You don't want to get caught, do you?" he whispers before she snakes her tongue out to lick her fluids off his finger. He can barely contain his own moan, and her seductive action makes him desperate. He pumps his penis more firmly.
As soon as she releases his hand, he spins her around and and whispers, "Bend over. I can't wait any longer. I have to be inside you now."
She obliges, placing her hands over the molding at the top of the wall's wainscoting and pushing her buttocks out toward him. He widens his stance and bends his knees to lower his hips in line with her dripping pussy. He parts her folds and immediately slides in, hissing with pleasure. She spasms and pulses around him. "Shit. Bells. Shit," he whispers harshly. Slowly, slowly he withdraws, then slams back in. She can't hold back a quiet whimper. "So, so tight, baby." His voice is strangled. "I can't believe you're always this tight. Am I hurting you?"
Biting her lip, she nods, but when she manages to speak she answers, "It's a good burn, Jake." He twitches inside her, and she gasps in response. "You're just so big. I love the way you feel." He struggles to maintain some semblance of control while she speaks, and he peeks at the door while he still has the wherewithal to do so. A tiny, dim sliver of the hallway is visible through the tiny window from this angle. If he isn't careful, they might be spotted. "Please keep moving, please?"
He is unable to resist her request, and he starts pounding into her in earnest. He can barely contain the growls vibrating deep in his throat. His wolf howls with pleasure at the claiming of its mate. He stares down at her slender, willing body and drinks in the sight. He wasn't lying to her earlier, wasn't exaggerating to make her feel better. He grips her feminine hips tightly and drinks in the sight of his engorged length plundering her willing form. She is so enticing. Her slim waist tapering into the curve of her hip, her round ass bouncing with each thrust, the creamy expanse of skin all beckon to him. He presses his thumbs into the dimples in her lower back and sinks his fingers into her soft flesh. "So... so... beautiful..." he chokes out in between deep thrusts.
Bella is overwhelmed by him. Each slam of his cock into her cervix sends shockwaves ricocheting through both their bodies, amplifying and echoing each other's pleasure. She is barely able to stay upright, so she grasps at the wall's molding for purchase. She feels every inch of his hard cock inside her. Her position renders her entire body tense, the muscles of her vaginal walls included, and she involuntarily clamps down around him. She relishes his strangled gasps in response. At a particularly deep thrust she whimpers from the sharp pleasure and pain, and he hisses, "Shhhh," but doesn't stop pounding. She bites her lip to keep from crying out loud. She loses herself in pure sensation. Jacob's heat bleeds from his form into hers. His harsh breathing echoes off the bare walls.
He is unable to stay as silent as she, but her sensuous gasps fill his ears and peak his arousal as much as it would if she were begging him to fuck her, since he knows how difficult it is for her not to cry out. He can't see it from his position, but she has released her bottom lip from her teeth and her mouth is open wide in a silent scream.
He can't get enough of her. His need for her is bone deep. His thirst for her will never be sated. Because there is not just passion here, but deep, abiding love. It isn't just his body. She is rooted into his soul. His heart yearns for hers as much as his body needs to be inside hers. The wolf 's ardor for her is as strong as the man's, the need to merge with her and to be one.
A few minutes later, Jacob keeps his grip on her hip with his left hand while he slides his right palm up to the center of her back, pushing her into a low arch. He knows exactly what the position will do her. He knows her body even better than he knows his own. The head of his cock pushes into the spot low in the front of her cunt that makes her wild. Involuntarily, he curses a broken string of words almost inaudibly, "Goddamn... sweet... pussy... Mmmm... Fuck... pretty... god... Unhhh..."
At his words and the shift in position, Bella starts to clench around him in a prolonged orgasm. She shakes and spasms and struggles desperately not to lose all motor control and fall. Her orgasm builds and builds in intensity, and Jacob is just about to follow her into bliss when he sees movement out of the corner of his eye. He freezes as a shadow passes in front of the window. Bella simultaneously gasps and clamps her hand over her own mouth in surprise when the door handle jiggles. What is probably only three or four seconds feels like an eternity until the shadow moves away from the door. Through the tiny slit of window that Jacob can see through, he spies the sway of Jasmine's hair. His cock twitches inside Bella.
Without moving his hips, Jacob reaches around to roll her nipple with one hand and finger her clit with the other. Her arousal temporarily waned from the near interruption, but he builds her back up in moments. He leans over to whisper in her ear, "Don't go anywhere, baby, because we're not done until you come one more time, and I empty myself into your tight, hot pussy."
Bella can't help but moan softly at his words and his touch. So when she reaches back out to steady herself against the wall, he chuckles, "Moan a little louder and Jasmine will figure out exactly what I'm doing to you in here." He stays still inside her, pinching and rolling her nipple and working her clit roughly as he loses himself in the sensation of her body enveloping him. The feelings flooding him are almost as good as it feels when he slams into her, especially since he can feel her bliss reflected in his own body. So he finds himself smiling with a glazed, ecstatic expression as he pleasures her, and in so doing, pleasures himself.
He keeps her right on the edge of orgasm, hanging right on the cusp of the cliff, until she finally whimpers, "Please, Jacob. I can't take it any more."
And he happily pulls his hips backward, eyes locked on the white-knuckled grip she has on the molding, his wet length dragging out of her pussy until the head is just barely inside, and he pistons back in. He fucks her hard and fast as she soars through her climax, whimpering and gasping in the lowest tones she can manage. He pounds into her over and over, and when he senses that she is about to collapse to the floor, he holds her hips firmly against him and lets himself come, shooting rope after rope of hot semen inside her.
He slips out gently, and she turns to slump against the wall. He leans over her, right arm braced against the wall near her head, and he draws his left hand through her hair to cup the back of her head. He murmurs, "You're perfect. I love you," and kisses her deeply.
And for a moment, she believes him entirely. She isn't a perfect person, but she is perfect for him, and he for her. With him, the room, the hall, the people outside, everything and everyone has dropped away except for him.
Just then, a voice sounds from the hallway in a harsh whisper, just loud enough that even Bella can hear. "You know, just because someone tells you to get a room, doesn't mean you can take just any room available!"
Jacob snorts with laughter as Bella scrambles to put on her clothes. Bella answers, "Shut up. Someone's going to hear you!"
From the hallway, the voice laughs back. "Hey, if you're going to have sex in a building full of people with supernatural hearing, you have no business telling me to shut up about it!"
"Did Charlie or my dad notice anything?" Jacob asks as he fastens his pants and puts on his shirt.
Bella is dressed save her shirt, so Jacob opens the door to reveal a snickering Leah. Bella protests, "Hey!" and wraps her arms over her chest.
Jacob turns back to her with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "Hey, she's already seen it all. You told me the dirty story."
Leah smirks at as Bella finishes dressing in the corner. "You liked that, huh?"
"I owe you a thank you, I think," Jacob smiles.
"You owe me big time, I think. Your fathers are a little too drunk to notice that you've been missing just long enough to defile each other. But they'll probably notice when you come out of here with your clothes on inside out," she walks around Jacob and flicks her finger at the tag sticking off the back of his shirt.
"Oh, shit. Thanks." He quickly flips off his shirt and fixes it.
"Too bad you can't shower before you go back out there. You both smell like a brothel," Leah wrinkles her nose at them. A blush rises on Bella's cheeks, and she squirms around unconsciously. Leah narrows her eyes at Bella. "What's wrong with you? Too sore to walk?"
Bella refuses to answer, but she does shove Jacob out of the room. "We can't come out at the same time. My dad will figure out what's up. I'm gonna hang in here with Leah for a bit."
Jacob agrees and goes to find his friends and more food. Leah turns back to Bella. "Spill. Something's up."
Bella mutters under her breath, "I ruined my underwear."
Leah guffaws, clutching at her stomach. "Serves you right. Tell Jake to keep it in his pants next time."
Bella frowns slightly. "No, I don't like that solution."
"Well, keep this up and your dad is going to walk in on you one of these days. I hope I'm around to see him shoot Jake in the ass. And if you subject the pack to this one more time, you'd better pop us some popcorn." Leah drops into an armchair in the corner of the room.
"Hey," Bella says, uncomfortably changing the subject. "Where's Brad? Oh my god, what did you tell him? What did you decide?"
Leah's expression falls. "Oh, that. He went home."
"You okay?" Bella asks, sitting on the couch and turning toward Leah.
"Oh yeah, I don't think he really expected me to go with him."
"What happened?"
Leah leans back into the chair and twirls her hair nervously around her finger. She tells Bella what happened.
X-x-x-x-X
They had woken well after Seth left for patrol. Sue had a shift at the hospital, so they had the house to themselves. Sue had made up the couch in the study for Brad to sleep in, but he snuck into her room as soon as he heard her mother leave. Brad had woken her with kisses peppering the back of her neck. They had avoided speaking altogether as he made love to her tenderly, and they climbed into the shower together still without having said anything other than a quiet, "Good morning."
They cooked brunch, both of them still careful to avoid the subject of his request for her to join him. But she knew what was on his mind from the tight grip of his hands on her hips or the sensation of his gaze upon her back as she stood at the stove.
The longer the morning wore on, the farther Brad's hopes fell. She set a plate of bacon and eggs in front of him and sat down to eat with him. And looking into his eyes, she had realized something important. She wanted to leave. She wanted to move. She wanted to start a new life. But aside from the fact that she didn't know how to stop phasing yet, aside from the fact that Jacob and her pack still need her, and aside from the fact that Brad doesn't really know the real her and probably wouldn't be asking her to come with him if he did, she realized that she isn't ready for what he wants. But she could finally see herself getting there. If not now, then someday soon.
She finally set her fork down when he asked, "Have you thought more about coming with me?"
She nodded at him gently and reached for his hand across the table. "I want to, but I can't. Not now. The timing, the circumstances are just wrong," she shook her head.
Brad slumped a bit and let out a breath of disappointment. But then he grinned at her. "It was worth a shot, huh? I didn't expect you to say yes. But a guy can hope." He shrugged and looked at his feet. "If it's okay with you, I'm going to go to the restroom and massage my bruised ego for a minute."
She lifted his hand to kiss the back of it and joked, "If you need a hand massaging anything else, you just let me know."
He laughed and stepped away. Their time together ended not long after. Neither of them brought up the subject of trying to maintain a long distance relationship. Brad wasn't about to ask for more when he had just been let down, and Leah wasn't up for it anyway. They had parted with a gentle kiss, and he had driven away.
X-x-x-x-X
"I'm sorry," Bella says quietly.
Leah just shrugs. "It's okay. I hate to say it, but he was sort of my rebound guy. Not the love of my life."
"You ready to meet the love of your life now?" Bella asks, smiling.
Leah snorts. "Yeah, right. One bitchy, infertile werewolf ready for love. Line up, boys."
"Or one model-hot, nearly indestructible single gal with the ability to look like a twenty year old when she's sixty," Bella responds.
"Great. So I can still bag a hot twenty year old when I'm old enough to be his grandma? Fabulous," she laughs. "Nah, there's no way I'm still phasing that long."
Bella sobers. "Sam know you're staying?" She has caught the looks that Sam has thrown Leah's way ever since he learned she was seeing other people. Frankly, everyone had caught those looks. It had been a major source of gossip across the reservation, within the pack and without it.
"Yep. He's eavesdropping as we speak. Again," Leah sighs. At that, Sam shuffles in from the hallway with a guilty expression on his face.
"Sorry," he mumbles.
Leah sighs and rolls her eyes. "Yeah, so, status quo then?"
"Leah," he pleads, but the sentence dies as it reaches his lips.
Bella stands to leave. "I'm gonna go find Jake."
Once they are alone, he kneels at her feet. Appalled, she scoots to the back of her armchair but isn't able to get nearly as far away as she'd like. "What are you doing?" she asks.
"Thank you. Thank you for staying."
She shakes her head angrily. "No, don't thank me. And don't get used to it. I'm not going to be here forever."
"But we need you here," he protests.
"Right. Until June when Jared and Paul graduate. I'm getting out of here this summer if everything stays calm."
"But you belong here," he states firmly.
"Doing what? Running around the woods all damn day long? There's more to life than this, and I intend to find it."
"I need you here, Lee," he whispers.
"What for?" she hisses. "So I can bake muffins with your wife? So I can babysit your kids? What the hell for?"
Sam can't force out the words he wants to say. Can't tell her what she meant to him, what she still means to him. He grips the arms of her chair tightly and takes deep breaths, words stuck in his throat.
She huffs and crosses her arms. "That's what I thought. You don't actually have anything to say to me. Why won't you just let me go?"
He can't manage to explain anything else, can't figure out how to communicate that he can't let her go because he never stopped loving her, can't verbalize that he finally understands that what he feels for her is more genuine than everything he feels for her cousin. He forgets all of this, of course, the moment Emily comes into view. But she isn't here yet, so the cloud in his brain has cleared momentarily. And he remembers everything. Leah's flirtatious smile, her rich laugh, the soft warmth of her skin, the crinkle in her forehead when she frowned at him, the way she narrowed her eyes when she argued with him, the passion of her kiss when they made up. With Emily, there is no fighting, so there is no making up. They skipped right past flirting and landed directly into a relationship. He never disagrees with her about anything, he just gives in, so the arguing is nonexistent.
Leah represents everything he meant to have. Every goal he planned to achieve. College, travel, career. Unbridled hope and youthful joy. Unadulterated passion.
He struggles to tell her, to make her understand. But he can't. He has no idea how. Even if she would phase with him, which she refuses to do, in wolf form the man in him is suppressed, and his wolf has chosen Emily. Wants only Emily. So when they join in the pack mind, he can think consciously of little other than Emily.
But he has to try. Besides, he has seen enough through his brothers' minds that she knows anyhow. She has always known him better than he knew himself, and now is no different. Just because he can't speak the words doesn't mean she doesn't know. She simply refuses to read between the lines any longer in an attempt to shield herself. "You know," is all he can manage. "You know me."
She drops her head down, desperately trying not to cry. "I used to know you."
He is about to correct her when they both hear the main door open and close. Emily's voice wafts in from the hall as she greets someone else and asks after Sam, then drops her voice and asks about Paul and Elle with a dark note in her voice. His heart skips a beat and his words die in his throat. His universe refocuses on the woman outside. He stands to go to her, forgetting about his first love glaring at him with tears in her eyes.
Leah sees everything. Everything written on his face, at the forefront of his mind, and everything buried in his subconscious. The pieces of him that slip away every time Emily comes near. Leah's heart breaks one more time. She marvels that she is able to able to find any shards of her heart left to break.
"Wait," she stops him. "Do something for me. Just this once, and I'll never ask you for anything else."
He looks down at her, torn between staying to listen and rushing out to his imprint.
She smiles bitterly. "Don't worry. It won't take long." She reaches into her pocket. "You wouldn't take this back before. I didn't understand why at the time. I'm asking again." She pulls her engagement ring out, thrusting it toward him. "Here. I don't want it."
"It's yours," he answers, horrified. Faintly he hears Rachel Black make a joke to Paul and Elle, and for the first and only time he becomes truly furious with Emily. If only she had let him free. But as soon as the flash of anger rises, his imprint extinguishes it. She had been telling him to go back to Leah at first, of course, and was doing so when she yelled at him about being like his deadbeat father, triggering his anger and the phasing that tore her skin to shreds. By the time she woke in the hospital, she had lost her will to resist, and Leah had been left permanently behind. Or so he thought.
"I don't want it," Leah repeats, her voice hard. "It only hurts me to have it. I don't know what to do with it. So please, take it back."
He shakes his head incredulously. "That's... It's... That's us, Lee-Lee. Don't do this."
"What do you expect me to do, wear it? Give it to the daughter I'll never have? Please, Sam. Take it back and let me go."
He blinks at her and shakes his head. "I can't," he whispers.
She stands and faces him. "Fine. But I'm not taking it home again," her voice is abnormally quiet. She places the ring on the armrest and brushes past him, leaving Sam staring at the ring and Emily frozen in an aborted half-wave at her as she storms out the exit.
X-x-x-x-X