There was no acknowledgement from the godlike Voice. I suppose I wanted somebody to tell me my test was over, that I could go home. Two elevators arrived. We sat there for a moment, staring at the twin elevators, side by side. I didn't suppose it mattered which one I went into.
We chose an elevator at random, and as I sat in mine, I collapsed to the floor, It was as if all my manic energy had deserted me.
But his sunny smile warmed me, even through two layers of glass.
The doors swished shut in unison.
They moved up at the exact same time. It was almost like being put through trials.
Trials and trials and tests until I died.
This was one more. I could beat it, right? It was a puzzle. A test. Even if my portal gun had been banged up one too many times and I had a bullet hole in my body and my shotgun was out of shells and my machete was melted away into nothing by acid, I could beat this goddamn test because all I wanted was to be normal.
And I wasn't just fighting for Harriet anymore. I had saved her. Those monsters would no longer plague her world. Now it was about saving this place. I was going to do the avenging angel shtick, with righteous flame that didn't smell of ozone and gunpowder, but rather of rich, warm wood. This place was going to burn.
And I was going to hold the match. Fire didn't scare me now because I was in control of it. I would laugh as her facility burned. A chuckle came up through my throat, but it hurt. It hurt to even whimper. It hurt to swallow.
The acid had damaged something irreparable.
I was truly mute this time.
I grinned through it, images of flames dancing in my head, the hot crackle of electricity, the snap of metal breaking and melting and dying.
If this was what madness felt like, I knew why that test subject went insane. It was a hot, sweet, delicious feeling.
It felt like cake, right out of the oven.
And so, I didn't even hesitate as I knew we were on our way back to the surface, but I had unfinished business here. And I saw something, catching at the corner of my eye.
Blue arrows splattered on gray walls. I brought the heavy handle of my machete down on the glass. I smashed and smashed and broke, grabbing Shephard's crowbar from my sack, even as it was soaked in his blood, smashing, smashing, smashing.
The lights flickered once, stuttered, imitating candle flame, then went out.
You…
I broke through the side of my elevator, immediately began breaking his.
"No, What are you doing? We're so close to the surface; don't make her change her mind! We have to get out, Chell, what the hell are you doing? Stop!" He was screaming at me and he clamped his hands over his ears so he didn't have to hear the bending and the breaking of the facility that he was once part of. I broke through, grabbed his hand, and jumped.
We landed on a catwalk, about a mile down. And I started running. Pale blue arrows cavorted under my feet in a jolly pattern that didn't reflect the atmosphere one bit. And I ran.
Feet clanging on the metal grating, I ran with hellfire behind me. I ran like the devil was on my heels and She was. I kicked open doors, getting lost in a maze of rooms, of catwalks, until a sign flashed above me.
[HUMAN ACCESS REQUIRED]
"Err, why don't we stop to think about this- I mean-"
I slotted the disc into a drive built into the wall. A tiny screen popped up, code rushing past my eyes, and the amber light on the door flicked to green. We ran through.
It was dark. Pitch black, and by walking forwards a few feet, I could feel the cool glass of the opposite wall.
The lights shone into my eyes and I blinked. We were in a small five-by-five room, with a plastic desk crammed up against a wall, a laptop still plugged in and glowing, and a neat little desk lamp. The chair wasn't orange like it should be. A coating of red spilled off the desk, onto the keys of the computer, and bloody handprints were smudged on the walls. Otherwise, just another tiny cubicle in a sea of tiny cubicles.
I turned my head to the laptop, wondering why they had tried so hard to protect this little office.
In the corner of the screen, a video feed popped up. A green-lit metallic room, no, more of a hue, cavernous corridor. I leaned as close as I could, smelling the blood on the keys but scrutinizing the grainy feed.
As far as the eye could see, green pods lay lined up, bubbles rising and catching the light, flashing shots of rainbow before sinking back into the sludge, and in the center, over a bottomless pit ran a catwalk.
I was so close to something, I could just taste it, and my thoughts were whirring at a million miles an hour.
Most of the pods lay empty.
A few had old or young humans curled up in cryosleep, but Caroline had gotten to them before I could. Near the head of each human was a row of tiny yellow buttons.
Where was this?
In the bottom left corner, a tiny white text box read:
[REVIVE?]
I gingerly sat in the bloody chair, but the rusty red was long-dried. It made an uncomfortable cracking noise as I sat.
I typed a command into the text box.
[YES]
[CHOOSE FROM STAFF MEMBER PROFILES?] Came the query almost immediately.
"What are you doing there? I'm a bit tired of not being in the loop here, mind if I-" He slid onto the chair next to me. I glared at him, and we struggled a moment before he snatched the mouse and yanked the screen towards him.
"That looks rather ominous, shouldn't you just leave it be? There's gotta be another way out of here, although we're probably stuck, considering you so rudely broke our lift out…" He grumbled. I snatched the laptop back and started to type on the bloody keys.
[YES]
[ENTER SEARCH QUERY: N: A: S:]
[N: A: S:?] I questioned. The laptop whirred quietly, processing this.
[confirmation: Name: Age: Sex:]
I hesitated, fingers twitching slightly on the keys.
I didn't really know where I was going with this. All I knew was that I had to rescue Her. I wasn't leaving without that bitchy AI safely stowed over my shoulder.
What if I just…
Transferred her into a human?
I could jam her robot brain into a human body, just like Caroline had done with Wheatley, and then we could leave, and I could save her. I heard her voice in my ears, tone plucking at my heartstrings.
I don't want to test anymore…
Help me
Somebody
Unplug me…
That was exactly what I was going to do. I didn't really consider it further. I had picked a course of action, and it was go go go, my puzzle solving brain was going faster and faster, because this was the kind of puzzle I could solve. I grinned and leaned closer to the rank metallic keyboard.
[N: N/A A:30 S: F]
I hit enter. The fan in the laptop took off, whirring so fast it was in danger of flying away. The tabletop started to vibrate slightly.
After a few minutes of nearly exploding, a black, sleek window appeared.
[CRITERIA: A:30 S: F]
A list of people in cryosleep appeared.
At least a hundred that fit the criteria.
I trawled through all the data, names and ages and faces scrolling past me.
Out popped a young woman, black hair in a sleek, neat bob. I clicked. Her face enlarged. Ellen. Ellen [REDACTED]. She was 5"4, amber eyes, Caucasian.
Spotless Aperture record. She was the financial manager in 1989.
A line of text caught my eye:
[NOT a team player]
[condescending and will not work cooperatively]
[discard for cooperative testing initiative]
[test subject number: 2335]
It was the best I could do, considering GLaDOS was an AI. She didn't have a body, as she was ported from Caroline and I was NOT using Her body.
But something dug at me, so I went back to the search field and entered:
[N: GLaDOS]
[no matches found]
[would you like to search the Aperture File Archives?]
I chewed on my lip a moment. The prompt blipped a moment, flashed, appearing again. Before I had time to think, I typed:
[YES]
A tiny orange and blue circle rotated on the screen for a full minute.
[GLaDOS: Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System]
[unstable AI]
[abandoned project]
[DO NOT ACTIVATE]
Well, it was too late for that. I chuckled.
[consider for Organic Lifeform Transfer experiment.]
I clicked on it again. Behind me, as if to emphasize like in a shitty thriller movie, Wheatley gasped.
[redacted]
[redacted]
[Subjects:
James Wheatley
Rick McLain
Colin Hart
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
Ellen [REDACTED]]
[experiment failed. Test subject 2335 was terminated. Transfer did not take. Observing scientist {Caroline [REDACTED]} reported screaming, self-mutilation, extreme violence, and minor symptoms of Schizophrenia. Subject was returned to cryosleep. Do not test. Files to be edited accordingly.]
[Experiment reactivated in year [REDACTED], test subject 10009 {James Wheatley} successfully ported into body. Observing scientist {Caroline [REDACTED]} reported minor head trauma, minor self-mutilation, and slight dizziness. Experiment deemed safe. Level 2 Clearance is required to activate experiment]
I scrolled back to the dialog box. Wheatley reached out his hand, long fingers caressing over his name on the screen.
"Th- that's me! I'm there! It says Organic Lifeform Transfer! Look! And I'm human!" He laughed.
"That's brilliant, that is!"
"H-hey, what're you doing there?"
I typed in:
[activate OLT experiment.]
[specify test subject.]
[2335]
[Transferrable Artificial Intelligence?]
[GLaDOS]
I hit enter. The little wheel spun.
[Subject has been banned from specified experiment. Do you wish to continue?]
[YES]
[Level 2 or higher clearance is required to authorize. Please enter Employee ID.]
Shit.
[1000008]
I typed in a string of numbers and hit enter.
[ID not recognized. Please try again.]
On a hunch, I yanked open a drawer. And another. In the man's desk was a blood-spattered ID card with an almost unintelligible string of numbers. His clearance? Level 3.
[12894008]
[processing…]
And after a few moments with me holding my breath, the screen brightened once more.
[Clearance accepted. Please proceed to Subject Collection Ward.]
[Happy science!] read the last message. I grinned.
[Query: Directions to Subject Collection Ward?]
A map slid up on the screen. I grinned, slinging the man's ID around my neck and standing up. The route was already memorized in my head.
We had a new friend to meet.