A/N: My inbox has been too inactive lately. I'm hungry for reviews. This one's a decent length, and probably better written since happiness and humor is more my style. Unfortunately, Royai sometimes calls for angst and all that good (er, bad) stuff. Oh well. Enjoy! ^^

Disclaimer: I'm honestly getting tired of saying I don't own FMA. Just figure it out yourself already.

"…Fullmetal."

"What, Colonel Bastard?" Ed shot an annoyed look at Mustang over his shoulder.

Said Colonel Bastard resisted the urge to snap his fingers and burn the impudent teenager sprawled on his couch to a crisp. Instead, he replied evenly, "I'd like you to do something for me."

"What else is new?" Ed groaned. "Day in and day out, mission after mission after mission. Al and I happen to have our own lives, but no, you just have to—"

"It'll be quick," Mustang promised.

"Fine. What is it?" Ed sighed and walked over to the colonel's desk.

"Here." Mustang handed him a folded piece of paper.

Ed unfolded it, glanced at what was written, and raised an eyebrow. "You want me to do this?"

"I assume you're capable of walking four blocks, Fullmetal," Mustang replied. "If it takes you more than an hour, I'll have to conclude that, quite frankly, your legs are too short to quickly travel such a distance."

"Hey!" Ed pointed an accusing finger centimeters from Mustang's nose. "You're asking for a favor here, Mustang. I wouldn't go around mouthing off if I were you." A grin spread slowly across his face. "In fact, I think you should give something in return, Mr. Flame Alchemist. Equivalent exchange, yeah?"

Mustang sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. There was no end to the horrors of dealing with the Fullmetal Alchemist. He had concluded long ago that Ed was the reason for his recently acquired need for coffee in the middle of the day. "Very well, Edward. If you do this for me, I'll…" He stopped, unable to utter his next words.

Ed smirked. "Spit it out already, Mustang. You look like you've got a stick shoved up your ass."

"Eloquently put, Fullmetal," the colonel winced and finally offered his side of the deal. "I promise I won't insult you for the rest of your stay at Central."

"Great," Ed responded perkily. He slipped the paper in his pocket and strode out the door.

"…I need some coffee," Mustang muttered to himself.

"Hawkeye!" Mustang came into the file room.

"Sir?" The lieutenant turned around, several folders in hand.

"Would you accompany me for a moment?" He plucked the papers from her grasp and set them on the table. "Work can wait. Those aren't due for a couple of days now, anyway."

"You told me to get those, sir," Hawkeye pointed out as he steered her out of the room.

"Did I? I don't recall." Mustang guided her around a corner.

"Sir, where are we going?" Hawkeye asked, thoroughly confused at her superior's behavior.

"Just for a walk." He suddenly placed his hands over her eyes, causing her to stop.

"What are you doing, Colonel?" she demanded. "Are you feeling alright? You've been acting weirdly all morning."

"I feel perfectly fine, Lieutenant," he assured her. "Just keep going. I won't let you bump into anything, I promise."

The two went through several more hallways before Mustang stopped in front of his office door. He opened it and ushered his lieutenant into the room before uncovering her eyes.

"SURPRISE!"

Hawkeye blinked, unable to comprehend the scene before her. A bright banner declaring "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" hung above her coworkers' grinning faces. Ed and Al stood in the center, Edward holding a birthday cake in his hands.

She opened her mouth, and then closed it. Mustang smirked at her speechlessness. "Happy birthday, Hawkeye. The sooner you get your voice back the sooner we can celebrate."

Ed set the cake on the lieutenant's desk and Al began cutting it. Breda grabbed drinks from behind the file cabinets and set them on Falman's desk. Fuery brought out paper plates and cups while Falman took out utensils from his desk drawer. Havoc came up and handed her a gift wrapped box.

"What about all the work we still have to do?" she finally managed to get out, absentmindedly accepting the present that was placed in her hands.

"It's all done." Havoc motioned at Mustang, who was busy ordering everyone else around. "The colonel did half of it himself."

Hawkeye gingerly tore off the wrapping paper and lifted the lid of the box to discover a brand new pistol lying within.

"A present from all of us," Havoc grinned. "We all chipped in. Well, except for Fullmetal and his brother, but they bought the cake, so it's all good."

"Thank you," Hawkeye murmured, still in shock at the extent Mustang and the others had gone to wish her a happy birthday.

"Everything was the colonel's idea," Havoc informed her. He leaned in close and winked. "He might be willing to give you another kind of birthday present, if you know what I mean."

"And I'd love to test out this new gun, if you know what I mean." She raised an eyebrow at him.

Havoc stepped back, grinning nervously. "Enjoy the party, Lieutenant. You deserve it."

Hawkeye wandered over to her desk, where Mustang was waiting with a slice of cake. "Happy birthday," he smiled, handing her the plate.

"Thank you, Roy," she said quietly, accepting the pastry. "I don't need all this." She looked up at him and smirked a little. "The amount of paperwork you completed is enough of a present for me."

"But not enough for me." He smiled back. "You're a wonderful woman, Riza. So naturally, you need a special celebration. Just relax and enjoy, alright?"

"I'll try." She took a bite of pastry. "Hm. Edward's pretty good at choosing cake."

"It was probably Alphonse," Mustang replied casually.

"Hey Mustang," Ed came up to him. "Could you help me get my drink from the top of the file cabinet? I don't think I can reach it."

Hawkeye stared at the boy a moment; she hadn't thought Edward was ever capable of admitting that he was short, much less without a pained expression on his face. She glanced at Mustang and noticed that his jaws were clenched, he was breathing heavily through his nose, and his face was turning red; but no jab at Edward's height left his mouth. Finally, it dawned on her.

She flashed a small smile at Edward before putting on a concerned expression. "Colonel, you can go to the restroom if you want. You don't have to hold it."

Ed's laughter could be heard throughout all of Central Headquarters.

A/N: I like to have little Royai moments in the middle of a whole story, if you haven't noticed. It makes me feel more complete that way, I guess. Sometimes I'll have a whole page of back story before I get to the good stuff. So yeah. Thanks for reading!