Chapter Twenty-Four:
Robin walked Tommy to the cafeteria to get some breakfast after they had arrived back at the hospital. Patrick wanted to spend some time with Natalie and Robin wanted to chat with Tommy.
They grabbed their trays and walked to a booth, sitting across from each other.
"You look a little more rested," Robin smiled at him as he took a sip of his coffee.
He smiled as he nodded.
"I slept a little, so I'm good to go. This has definitely brought back memories of those 40 hour shifts we used to have back in the day."
Robin laughed.
"I don't miss those," she said. "Natalie slept well?"
"She did. Her vitals were stable, but I know she will need dialysis again today. It's going to be the norm now until we can find her a kidney," he rubbed his eyes. "You know, I really appreciate you being here, but it isn't necessary. You must have more important things than sitting with me and my daughter."
"Actually, at the moment, I feel like this is the most worthy thing I could be apart of."
Tommy scratched his chin and sat back.
"So can I ask you about your intentions when it comes to Patrick?"
She laughed and he grinned.
"I like him, a lot. I don't know what the future holds, but I enjoy spending time with him."
"You know he can be an arrogant ass," Tommy said with a grin.
"Yeah. I met that side first."
They both laughed and Robin played with her food before she sighed.
"I wanted to apologize for my cousin, Maxie. She was out of line when talking to you about Elizabeth. I hope you know that didn't come from me."
He nodded and played with his wedding ring before looking at her.
"She's not the first person to try and fix me up. It doesn't matter, really, because I'm with the only girl who has my heart, and that's Natalie. She is my only concern and she is all I need to be happy."
Chapter Twenty-Four:
Patrick felt something heavy on his chest as he woke up. He opened his eyes and saw it was Robin and she was snuggled against him, her head on his chest and her leg hooked over the side of his thigh. Her hand was resting dangerously close to his groin and he swallowed thickly as she began to wake up.
"Oh," she said as soon as she realized where she was. She sat up and ran her hand through her hair as she looked at him.
"Morning," he grinned.
"Good morning. I'm sorry I was all over you," she crossed her arms as she felt her nipples harden.
"I'm not, besides, most women find it hard to keep their hands off of me," he leaned on his elbow and flashed his dimples.
She rolled her eyes and laughed when he looked upset.
"Well a hard man is good to find," she grinned.
"What?" he felt his groin twitch at her words.
"A good man is hard to find," she repeated.
"That is so not what you said," he stated.
She shrugged and got up.
"Some men just hear what they want to hear."
He followed her and grabbed her arm, turning her and pressing his mouth to hers. She kissed him hungrily and placed her hands on his buttocks, squeezing his flesh and pressing his hips into hers.
"Shit," he said as he backed up, trying to catch his breath.
"Don't stop," she murmured as she pulled him to her again. He moved his hands up under her hair and she slipped her hand between them, stroking his growing erection through his pajama pants.
He moaned into her neck as she stroked him and he raised her leg up so it hooked around his hip. He massaged her buttock and ran his other hand over her covered breast.
"We should stop," he said in her ear as they continued their dance.
"Okay," she sighed and kissed him deeply.
He didn't want this to be quick. He wanted to savor every moment of her, touch every crevice and kiss every inch. He wanted it to be worthy of what he felt.
"I'm going to take a shower," he said and kissed her head as he walked into the bathroom.
She touched her lips as she watched him walk and she smiled.
She still had it.
"So your daddy said you had a good night," Patrick said as he played cards with Natalie.
"It was okay. I didn't have a nightmare," she smiled.
"You're still having those?" he asked worriedly.
"Sometimes, but not too much. I like it when you're here, though; it helps me know that everything will be okay."
Patrick sighed as he listened to her.
"What's wrong?"
He smiled at her.
"Why do you think anything is wrong?"
"You sound sad. I wondered if I could help," she smiled at him and her eyes reminded him of her mother. "Is it because of Robin?"
"What? No, Robin is good," he eyed her. "Are you fishing for gossip?"
"Well, daddy told me to find out anything I could and he wanted to see you squirm, like a worm, but I don't really understand that. I like Robin, and I don't think she's like a worm at all. I told him that she walked fine and you wouldn't have to squirm at all to be with her."
He laughed and she shrugged.
"Sometimes grownups are silly. I think if there is something you want to say, you should just say it, right?"
Patrick knew she wasn't talking about Robin anymore.
"What's going on? Do you want to talk to me about something?"
She shrugged and moved away from the tray of cards.
"I'm tired. I don't want to play anymore."
"Someone just told me that if you have something to say, then you should just say it," he moved the tray and smoothed her hair back.
"I'm worried about daddy," she said as her chin quivered. "He will be so sad when I die."
Her words cut right through him.
"Baby, you aren't going to die."
"I will if I don't get a new kidney and I'm not going to get one. What will daddy do with no one to take care of? He will be all alone," she began to cry and he sat on the bed with her, holding her to him.
"First of all, your daddy will never be alone because I will always be his friend, but why do you think you won't get a kidney?"
She sniffed and looked at him, her blue eyes the color of the ocean.
"There were a couple nurses here last night and they thought I was asleep. Daddy was in the bathroom and they were talking. They said I was a libility and because I had so many problems I wouldn't calify for a kidney. If I can't have a kidney, then I think I will die, isn't that right?"
Patrick was furious and wanted every nurse fired. How dare they speak like that in front of anyone, let alone a child?
"Did you tell your daddy what you heard?"
"No. He's so sad, Uncle Patrick. I don't want to make him sadder."
He sighed and looked at her.
"You are not going to die, okay? You will get a kidney and there is nothing that will stop that. You are not a liability and you will absolutely qualify. Shame on those nurses for being stupid."
"That isn't all they said," she said softly.
Patrick sat back and looked at her.
"What else?"
"They were talking about daddy. They said he was cute and they wondered if he would go out with them," she wiped her eyes. "Do you think daddy will get married and have a new family and forget about me and mommy?"
Patrick hugged her and she cried.
"Nat, that's simply not possible. You and your mommy are unforgettable. Your daddy loves you so much and you come from a mixture of your daddy and mommy and that can never change. Your daddy will always and forever love you and your mommy," he said and smiled at her. "But I need for you to do something for me. I need for you to stop acting like you're going to die. You need to believe in me and your daddy and know we won't let you down, okay?"
"Okay," she sniffed. "I don't want daddy to be with anyone else. I don't want mommy to be forgotten," she cried. "I don't ever want another mommy."
Patrick sat with her and let his own tears fall.
"I'm so sorry mini Red," he said softly.
Robin walked Tommy to the cafeteria to get some breakfast after they had arrived back at the hospital. Patrick wanted to spend some time with Natalie and Robin wanted to chat with Tommy.
They grabbed their trays and walked to a booth, sitting across from each other.
"You look a little more rested," Robin smiled at him as he took a sip of his coffee.
He smiled as he nodded.
"I slept a little, so I'm good to go. This has definitely brought back memories of those 40 hour shifts we used to have back in the day."
Robin laughed.
"I don't miss those," she said. "Natalie slept well?"
"She did. Her vitals were stable, but I know she will need dialysis again today. It's going to be the norm now until we can find her a kidney," he rubbed his eyes. "You know, I really appreciate you being here, but it isn't necessary. You must have more important things than sitting with me and my daughter."
"Actually, at the moment, I feel like this is the most worthy thing I could be a part of."
Tommy scratched his chin and sat back.
"So can I ask you about your intentions when it comes to Patrick?"
She laughed and he grinned.
"I like him, a lot. I don't know what the future holds, but I enjoy spending time with him."
"You know he can be an arrogant ass," Tommy said with a grin.
"Yeah. I met that side first."
They both laughed and he continued.
"He can also be an amazing person. Patrick has done more for me than I could ever repay and I have never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you. He doesn't allow people to get to him because he doesn't want to get hurt, but I can see you're different. I hope he doesn't mess it up."
Robin blushed as she thought of their morning.
"I think we'll just see where it goes."
He grinned.
"Sorry if I overstepped, but I want him to be happy. He deserves to find someone who makes him feel like Britt made me feel. You both deserve that."
Robin played with her food before she sighed.
"Speaking of Brittany, I wanted to apologize for my cousin, Maxie. She was out of line when talking to you about Elizabeth. I hope you know that didn't come from me."
He nodded and played with his wedding ring before looking at her.
"She's not the first person to try and fix me up. It doesn't matter, really, because I'm with the only girl who has my heart, and that's Natalie. She is my only concern and she is all I need to be happy."
Robin smiled at him and shrugged.
"You are sort of an inspiration to me," she smiled. "Seeing how happy you were and how amazing Natalie is gives me hope that I never had."
He smiled at her and took a drink of his coffee.
"Brittany worried so much about having a child, and having a relationship with anyone, to be honest. She was so worried about the possible problems and she was terrified of leaving me and Natalie," he felt his eyes fill as he spoke of her.
"We were so stupid. We worried about her HIV, and the thing that took her away from us had nothing to do with that. All of the worry and the questioning about what it would mean to be together and have a child was irrelevant. Britt's HIV wasn't the issue. The plane crash is what took her from me," he sniffed and sat back, exhaling.
"I'm sorry, I don't mean to go all depressing on you," he smiled sadly.
Robin smiled at him and shook her head.
"It's okay to be sad and angry," she said. "It is obviously fresh in your mind and I can see why it would be."
"It's just that Natalie deserves so much more than I can give her. She deserves to be raised by her mother and to see what it means to love someone so completely. She deserves to have a house full of love and laughter and holidays and parties. She doesn't deserve to be more familiar with a hospital than her own school," he shook his head and sighed.
"I think I've officially killed any chance of you being my friend," he laughed. "I'm such a downer."
Robin grinned and shrugged.
"You're an inspiration," she said softly. "You and your wife and daughter."
He was quiet as they ate and she wondered, for the first time, if she might be able to have it all. She thought of Patrick and her heart beat faster. For the first time in her life, she wanted it all.
Chapter Twenty-Five:
Patrick, Tommy and Robin were sitting in Natalie's room when Maxie wheeled Matt in. Robin grinned at her cousin and they all marveled at how much better Matt looked.
"How are you feeling?" Patrick asked him.
"Awesome. We actually have some news for you guys," Matt said.
"Did you get me a present?" Natalie asked.
Maxie grinned at her.
"Kind of."
Tommy felt his eyes fill with tears.
"Did you find her a kidney?"
"Patrick is a match," Matt said.
"What? Really?" Patrick asked, amazed.
"You are. Actually, you and I both are matches, but somehow I think you're in a bit better shape to donate," Matt said.
Patrick laughed and Tommy walked to him.
"Will you do it? Will you donate?" he asked him as his voice cracked.
Patrick looked at him and at Natalie.
"Of course I will. It would be an honor," he said and Tommy hugged him tightly.
"I want a hug, too," Natalie said and they moved to hug her, too.
Robin wiped her eyes and Maxie rubbed her back.
"It's touching," she said and blushed.
"What do we have to do to get ready?" Patrick asked him.
"You need to have a complete work up, especially because you recently had a severe injury. I'd like to schedule it ASAP, and I've spoken with the endocrinologist and the head of the transplant team. They will be meeting with you later to go over everything."
Tommy nodded and shook Matt's hand.
"I don't know how to thank you."
"I didn't do anything, really. I just wish I could be the one to operate."
Maxie held her husband's hand and smiled at them.
"I'm just so grateful you're alive. All of this is amazing news. Now we need to make everyone happy," she looked at Tommy.
"What do you mean?" Matt asked.
Maxie smiled as Elizabeth came into the room. She looked at Robin who sighed.
"Natalie and Tom, this is Elizabeth, the best nurse on staff," she said.
Tommy stood up from the bed and nodded.
"Nice to meet you," he said and looked at Natalie. He needed air. He needed to process everything. "Do you mind if I go out for a few minutes? I'll be back soon."
She smiled and closed her eyes, exhausted.
"No daddy, I'm tired anyway."
He kissed her forehead and walked past Elizabeth and into the hallway. He made his way to the chapel and was grateful it was empty. He walked to the back and sat down; finally letting his emotions come out. He cried for the first time in a year.
"Red, I wish you were here with me. I need you to help me. I need you to hold me and help our little girl. I miss you so much it hurts to breathe. I just need you," he put his head in his hands and cried.
Everything was hard and painful. It wasn't the physical pain that hurt anymore, really, but the pain in her chest, the pain of missing so much time. She had no idea how long it had been, a year, maybe more. She didn't know where she was, or why this happened, but it didn't matter. She would never give up until she was back with the man and the little girl in the picture, the picture in her mind.
She had been moved about six times, and each time it was the same routine. She was left in a room with a bed and a piano. She was told to sing. She knew she had been a singer, but since she woke up after the crash, there was no sound. She had been silent since that moment. She tried to talk. She tried as hard as she could, but it was gone.
The images in her mind were of a time that she was happy. She remembered her attack all those years ago and how she lived in isolation for so long. She remembered meeting the handsome doctor in the conference room. She remembered every moment of their time together, but she couldn't remember his name. She felt them in her heart. She knew they were her life. She just couldn't remember their names. She didn't know her own name. She knew what they called her and what they told her, but something happened and she was missing the connection. She had certain images and memories that kept popping up, but they were snapshots and fractured ideas.
There was her friend who died in the crash. They told her he died an agonizing death trying to save her. They told her the man she left behind would never forgive her for causing the crash. She didn't remember the crash, or what caused it. She didn't know what happened. She did remember the man, their friend, but again, no name.
She remembered her wedding to the man who was so warm and kind. She could feel the touch of his hands on her body and she knew the feeling of loving him was unlike anything she had ever known. She ached for his touch. She adored him.
She felt the curls on the little girl and she knew the hug of the little arms that enveloped her heart. She must be her daughter, but again, there was no name. She felt the love. She just didn't know her name.
Someone opened the door and threw a bag inside. She jumped when the loud voice yelled for her to take her meds or there would be consequences. She knew what the consequences were and she wouldn't mess with it. She took her meds and prayed they were working. She would get back to her home and she would not let her disease take over. She was HIV positive. That she knew.
She pulled her long red hair back and wished she could take a shower. She was gross and dirty and cold and scared. She remembered her life, but she forgot how to talk. She remembered the love, but she forgot the names. She had been silent for over a year, and yet her voice screamed in her head.
The man who held her heart was waiting, she knew it. The little girl who fought her way into this world needed her. This would end soon and she would return. She just prayed they were still waiting for her.