Almost a Female Lifestyle
Me: Weapons down, or I will not be responsible for chapter 13!
Naruto: Happy anniversary, Almost a Female Lifestyle!
Sasuke: Hmpf, what he said.
Me: That's right! Today is the day; Almost a Female Lifestyle turns a year! Only thirteen chapters in a year, I'm ashamed…
Naruto: You also had to manage other stories, like Uzumaki Prodigy, what chapter is it up on now?
Me: 18, soon 19 because of the anniversary the 20th.
Sasuke: We have nothing special in this chapter…
Me: Actually, Naru-chan and Sasu-chan will be flirting in this chapter!
Sakura: What about me?
Me: Uh… LOOK A DISTRACTION! I do not own these characters!
Summary: Naruto is dead-last… But is she really now? Read as she makes her way into the shinobi world with a stupid pink-haired banshee, a brooding emo like closet pervert, an open perverted sensei AND a stupid thinking idiotic fox.- FEMNARU- -One-sided; SasufemNaru and femNaruKiba. –Don't have an inner pervert. –Rated for language.
''Yo'' – Talking
'Ero-Genin' – Thinking
''Kit'' – Demon/Summoning/Inner Sakura/Inner Demon/Jutsu.
'Bitch' – Thinking for Demon/Summoning/Inner Sakura/Inner Demon.
Warning: May or may not contain spoilers… o_o'! And bad language, sorry still don't have an inner pervert… o_o'!
Chapter 13 – Freaking Sneaky Giant
"That way!" Naruto yelled as she pointed to the right.
"Are you stupid?" Sasuke questioned. "If we take that way we'll end up going the right twice, which would mean that we're going in a circle!"
"Are you calling me, Uzumaki Naruto-sama, stupid?" she asked. "I thought you fucking loved me!"
"I like you, not love you, there's a way to go before I'll love you," he said. "Besides, stupid suits you."
"Aw, fucking aw," she said, sarcastically. "Is that supposed to be a compliment?!"
"It makes you cute," he continued. "How about that? Stupid suits you, because it's cute."
"I like that one, thank you Sasu-chan," she said happily. "Well, until now, we haven't had some serious competition, but it's only second day, so we can't be too sure. That's why we need to go right!"
"Why should we go right because of that?" Sakura asked.
"Because, then we will confuse the enemy, who is following our trail, and they will give up because of exhaustion!" Naruto exclaimed.
"Are you stupider than usual?" Sakura growled. "Be serious, we can be attacked anytime now, and Sasu-chan, what did I say before the exam?"
"What have I been saying all this time about that nickname?" he countered.
"If I have to deal with your flirting, then you'll have to deal with the nickname!" she said.
"Then you shouldn't complain."
Sakura sighed in defeat. "Let's just go straight ahead; maybe we can catch someone close to the tower."
"That's a great idea, Banshee," Naruto complimented. "Why didn't I think about that?"
Sasuke shushed them both as he looked around the surroundings, suspicious.
"Looks like we've been found out," a voice in a tree said. "Let's reveal ourselves, shall we?"
"It might be a good idea," another voice agreed. "Besides, we're not their enemy, are we?"
"N-no, but why were we hiding in the first place?" a female voice asked.
Naruto gasped. "HINA-CHAN!" she exclaimed loudly as team eight revealed themselves among the trees. "I'm so glad you're here." She ran towards the Hyuga with her arms spread wide open, as she embraced them in a hug.
"Naru-chan," Hinata muttered. "It's good to see you're all okay." She smiled. "If she hadn't been, I would've killed the people who hurt her!"
"Well, we were attacked on the first day, but it was nothing, small business, small business," Naruto said, shrugging. "I see you're okay, too, that's good."
"Sasuke," Kiba greeted, rudely.
"Kiba," Sasuke replied with the same tone.
"Shino," Shino said, with the same tone. "Not like anybody remembered me."
"I feel ya'," Sakura said.
"Well, we have the two scrolls already, so we're on our way to the tower," Kiba boosted. "What about you, Sa-su-ke-kun?"
"We're alive," he replied.
"Oh really, that's so sad!" Kiba laughed loudly, but as he felt something wrapping around his waist, his laugh died. "Naru-chan, are you hugging me?"
"No, I'm reminding you why it's damn good that I'm alive," she replied. "I missed you Kiba-kun!"
"Look Sasuke, she's hugging me!" he said. "Jealous yet?"
"Ugh," Sasuke groaned. "I am not jealous."
"You shouldn't be either," Sakura said. "You two were hugging each other tightly in your sleep; I couldn't wake you up because it was so adorable."
Sasuke smirked as he looked at Kiba. "Jealous yet?"
Naruto blushed in to Kiba's shirt. "What are you saying, Banshee?!" she asked Sakura.
Now it was Kiba's turn to smirk. "Not the slightest, Sasuke."
Naruto turned her attention to Hinata once again. "Hina-chan, you're so beautiful!" she exclaimed as she went off to hug her again. "If I was a boy, I would marry you in a heartbeat!"
Hinata blushed. "Ah, t-thank you, Naru-chan. I'm pretty sure that you'll get married fast, too. Same goes for Sakura-san."
Kiba's eyes widened. "Guys, there are three people heading this way!" he exclaimed.
"Gather," Sasuke ordered as the people gathered around. "Okay, team eight, you can just go ahead and leave, we go this one."
"Wouldn't it be the wisest to keep us around, Sasuke?" Shino asked. "You're not the strongest in this exam, these people could be deadly."
"Point to Shino," Naruto announced. "Hina-chan, activate your byakugan!"
"H-Hai!" Hinata activated her byakugan and looked around until she found the enemy. "Three people as said, from the Grass. One has an amazing amount of chakra, more amazing than Naru-chan's, and that says a lot."
"Wait, how can you see how much chakra the person has?" Sakura asked.
"The chakra is practically overflowing," she replied. "Normally, the amount of chakra can't be determined, since the body reduces just as much chakra as anyone else, and the rest is hidden somewhere deeper, but this guy is covered in chakra. Not on the outside, but on the inside…"
"Amazing," Sakura muttered.
"S-Sasu-chan?" Naruto stuttered. "Why don't I feel safe, even though we're six against three?"
Sasuke thought about it. "I don't know, Naruto. We'll just have to trust each other."
"Okay, who's fucking touching my ass?" she asked.
"No one is touching your ass," Sasuke replied.
Kiba snickered. "Sorry, I thought it would calm you down a little."
"Kiba, you bastard!" Sasuke growled.
"Focus!" Sakura yelled at them.
Hinata took her hand in Naruto's and she looked at her. "Naru-chan," she whispered, "I don't think these people are Genins. They're even stronger than Chunins…"
"Don't worry, Hina-chan," Naruto whispered back. "As long as we have, and I don't like to admit it, Sasu-chan then everything will turn out alright. Hopefully, he'll save us in the end."
Hinata squeezed her hand. "Be careful, alright?"
"Shall do, Hina-chan…"
And as if on cue, as Naruto finished that sentence, a huge gush of wind came from God knows where and hit the six Genins. As they were pushed back, one by one they jumped out of the stream, with an exception of one.
With Naruto.
She groaned as she was on the ground, beside a tree. She didn't make it, when they all jumped out. That was probably because she was really thin. She coughed. "Ouch, I got hit by the tree!" she whined as she stood up from the ground. "What the hell was that, anyways?"
She looked around, trying to spot something familiar, but she couldn't. This was a part of the forest, they haven't entered.
"Where are the others?" she wondered. "Sasu-chan, Hina-chan?!" she tried calling out, but much to her surprise - well not exactly a surprise - nobody answered. "Kiba-kun, Shino-kun, Banshee?!" she tried once again, but as the first result, nobody answered.
She jumped as she felt the ground rumble.
"Earthquake?!"
As she looked around again, behind her she spotted – it wasn't hard to spot – a giant snake. If there were one animal Naruto was afraid of, it had to be snakes.
"A-a snake… Oh Kami," she breathed heavily. "Why me?!"
Her eyes locked with the snakes and she began trembling.
"S-Sasu-chan, where are you?" she stuttered hopelessly. "I'm scared…"
With Sasuke and Kiba.
"Why did you have to land on me?" Sasuke asked, groaning. "That freaking hurts!"
Kiba smirked at him. "If you can survive having that pole up your ass, then you can survive me being thrown into you. Well, unless your pole just got further up and bored a hole in your scull."
"I choose to ignore that statement," he replied as he stood up from the ground, he was lying on. "Where are the others?"
Kiba sniffed in the air. "Sakura and Hinata are together and Shino is alone," he said.
"And Naruto?"
He sniffed in the air once again. "Eh, I can't sense her. Maybe she is covered in mud, or…"
"Or what?" Sasuke asked.
"When a person dies, they lose their scent…"
Kiba didn't have to say anymore, before Sasuke rushed out of wherever they were.
"O-Oi, Sasuke!" Kiba called out, as he followed him with Akamaru. "We don't know where to look!"
"That shouldn't stop us from looking, should it?"
"I know but, it's best to find Hinata first!"
"Why?!"
"She has the byakugan; she could find Naruto even if she is dead or not!"
Sasuke stopped in track. "Where can we find her?"
With Sakura and Hinata.
"Hinata-san, are you alright?" Sakura asked.
"I-I'm fine, Sakura-san," she replied.
"You're bleeding, you're not fine!" Sakura protested as she walked towards her with her first aid kits in a small box. "Come on, I'll stop the bleeding."
Hinata nodded in respond as she took off her jacket, to show the bleeding part of her arm. "I think I fell on some sharp stone…"
"I think so too," she agreed. "The wounds aren't that deep, but there were lots of blood. Nothing dangerous, now that I've treated it."
"Thank you," she said.
"Can you find the others?"
Hinata nodded as she activated her byakugan. "I can see Shino-kun nearby, the same for Sasuke-kun and Kiba-kun. Naru-chan is alone, she's trembling… She's scared…"
As if on cue, out came Sasuke and Kiba and found the two girls. "This is bad, this is bad!" Kiba exclaimed loudly. "I can't sense Naruto at all!"
"Don't worry, she's alive," Sakura assured them. "But Hinata said she looked scared."
"Then we must find her, and fast," Shino – who just showed up – said. "We can't waste any time."
"Wait," Sasuke said. "This is Naruto we're talking about, what's she scared of? Is she facing these guys all alone?"
"N-No," Hinata replied. "It's something that appears to be a snake of some sort. A giant, enormous snake."
"Oh no," Kiba said. "Naruto is terrified of Snakes!"
"She is?" Sasuke and Sakura asked in simultaneously.
Hinata nodded. "We have to find her!" She put on her jacket quickly, but Sasuke stopped them from going anywhere, again.
"We'll have to split up," he said.
"Why?" Kiba asked.
"Because, our enemies could be nearby already," he replied. "Sakura, Hinata you two find Naruto, whilst we find our opponents."
"Shouldn't we have a code of some sort?" Kiba asked.
This time Shino replied: "No, the enemies could be anywhere; we can't form a code under these circumstances."
"Alright then," Sakura said as she stood up from the ground and helped Hinata up. "We'll go find Naruto."
With Naruto.
She was in a corner, away from the snake, trembling with her knees to her chest as she was sitting down. She was on the edge of crying. 'I was always afraid of Purple-sensei's snakes when I was younger, so she stopped showing them to me in the end…' she thought.
"You gotta stop being afraid of those things," Kurama said. "I'm more terrifying, but you never show any fear before me!"
'You're different, you're sealed into a cage,' she thought. 'Like a house pet…'
"Damn little brat, you just called me your pet!"
'Kurama-kun, I'm scared!'she whimpered. 'Where are the others, I don't want to be alone!'
"Breathe kit, just breathe," he said. "It's okay to be afraid of something, but as a ninja, you'll have to overcome it. You can't show fear to anybody, not even animals."
'But, I can't move I'm too scared. I'm like a little bitch on her first day as a slave!'
"Great example…"
"Naruto!" a loud voice yelled, snapping Naruto out of her thoughts and she looked up. Sakura and Hinata were standing there.
"B-Banshee, Hina-chan," she stuttered.
"This isn't like you to be afraid," Sakura teased. "Oh how good it feels to be able to save you!"
"Naru-chan, don't worry, we got this one," Hinata assured her, as she stood in the Hyuga style position.
"I didn't know that the almighty Uzumaki Naruto could actually cry!" Sakura laughed. "Look at your face, and your eyes, they're all watery!"
"S-Shut up!" Naruto yelled, embarrassed. "It's not my fault…"
"Suck it up, it's just a snake," she said. "In reality, they're more afraid of you, than you are of them."
'Fucking bitch, that thing looks like it wants to eat me!' she thought. "You say that again, when you turn into supper for that giant…"
"HAH!" Sakura laughed. "Right now, Sasuke-kun, Kiba and Shino are off looking for the enemy, we can't waste our time standing here and do nothing. The least we can do is to turn this thing into our supper."
"Ew, I hate snake," Naruto said.
"Well, get used to it, you're dealing with this as a ninja, not as a child," she said. "On second thought, just said there and do nothing, I want to show you that I'm just as much of a ninja as you and Sasuke-kun!"
"M-Me too, I'll be useful, too," Hinata agreed.
"Well, let's do this!"
Me: Thank you for a year already, thanks, really… I feel like I've improved!
Naruto: I'm on a highway to hell! Highway to hell!"
Me: Eh, but… we're done with the chapter… so… you're confusing!
Sasuke: *Add – Sigh* Well, stay tuned for the omake, right below us.
Me: Sorry for bad quality, I wrote this on a whim.
OMAKE-CHAN
Around a table, for the first time in history, sat all Konoha's rookie nine, male. Sasuke, Shino, Kiba, Shikamaru and Chouji, even Akamaru was with them. They were seated at the barbeque shop, where they ate together.
"So, what do you guys think of Naru-chan?" Kiba asked. "I want her mine!"
Sasuke's eye twitched. "Shut the hell up, Kiba!"
"What's your problem? Go back to being the sulky Uchiha, that didn't care for anyone! Naru-chan's mine!"
"You wish, Inuzuka," Sasuke growled. "Like hell you deserve her!"
"Oh and you do?!"
"More than you."
"Oh, but she's not a lesbian, too bad for you," he laughed.
"Excuse me?!" Sasuke growled, once again.
"You're excused," Kiba replied, not even thinking that he would receive a punch for that one, as he flew away.
"There they go again," Shikamaru sighed.
"It's very amusing," Chouji said.
"Agreed," Shino said. "Although, I think Sasuke is better off with Naruto."
"Why?" Shikamaru asked.
"Because," Shino started, "plus and minus is minus, whilst plus and plus is plus. If we say minus is Sasuke and plus is Kiba and Naruto, then if they were to be together, nothing would change, like it would if Sasuke and Naruto got together."
"Why are you talking about me and those two being together?" a voice suddenly said and as they looked over, they saw the Konoha rookie nine, females. "And why are they fighting?"
"They're deciding who should have you, Naruto," Chouji said.
"Eh, really?" she questioned. "Then, the one who buys me the most meat can have me!"
"You're on!" Kiba and Sasuke said, whilst they were hold each other in a stranglehold.
"I'll win, Inuzuka!"
"You wish, Uchiha!"
"Naruto, are you sure that is wise?" Sakura asked.
"Nope, but more meat for me!" Naruto laughed.
THE END OF OMAKE-CHAN!