Chapter 14

The choice

Kanan's pov

I watch as my padawan's fading force - like ghost disappeared into nothing before I hear a sound that stops my heart for a moment. A long tone that indicated that something was wrong with my padawan's heart, I am frozen in place for a hyper second, before the moment let's me go and I can start work on getting his heart started and again and work out why it stopped in the first place, right now that is all I can do as I start to pump my kid's chest.

"Hera get Chopper we might need his electric shock to start Ezra's heart if I can't" I yelled out before breathing into Ezra's mouth,and turning my head to watch the kid's chest rise and fall with the air I am forcing into his body.

I hear the door open and close as someone went to get the droid, right now I didn't care who it was I just need to know that I had a back up ready if I couldn't get Ezra to breath on his own. Then I hear something that made me realize that the droid wasn't needed, Ezra's heart had started on it's own. The heart beat monitor showed that the kid's heart beat was irregular like it was working too hard to get going again, but what had done that? then I remember the blood that I had rubbed away from the kid's mouth when I had found him in the bone pit.

"Karabast the kid had internal injuries and I didn't realize it" I said to myself, not really caring if anyone heard me or not.

"You were injured to love, of course you were going to miss things. I think you were just so happy to have him back that you weren't thinking straight" Hera said, placing an arm around my shaking shoulders.

"He is my responsibility and I let him down" I said leaning into the touch.

"Yes he is, just as Sabine is mine, but you didn't let him down, he is still here, still fighting for life, he hasn't given up yet so you don't give up either"Hera replied, as Chopper came in with a frightened beep.

I look up to see Hera's face, she had tears in her eyes and her whole body was shaking. She was right, I needed to trust in the force and my friends and they needed to trust in me, that included my padawan. His life was placed in my hands as soon as he joined me, his parents where ever they are, are trusting that he would live to see them again if they are still alive and at the moment we had no clue only the stuff that tzeeboo told Hera. I need Hera to change her thinking right now if Ezra was going to pull through this, I needed the sky woman to take command, I was starting to form a plan.

"Hera I need you to contact fulcrum, Ezra is going to need a medical facility if he is to survive this"I told her.

"And what are you going to do while I do that?"she asked as she got up.

"I am going to give Ezra a choice" I said as I pulled the spare medical bed over to the boy's side and wrapped my hand in his, as I laid down on it.

"A choice? spill it, what have you got in mind"Hera asked as she went to the door, obviously she wanted to know what she need now while I was still awake to tell her what I was about to do.

"I can't really tell you what I am going to do. It's an old Jedi trick and one that was kind of looked down as it had to do with attachment" I explained.

It was as far as I was will to go with tell her what was about to happen right now. If she really knew what I was about to do she would have my head examined for it. I closed my eyes as I connected with my padawan and from what I could feel he wasn't alone. At first all I could see was cloud and shadow, I couldn't see any of the detail that I usually had when I came to our shared mind scape, then slowly it came into focus as my connection to Ezra became stronger as he recovered a little from what had just happened.

I found Ezra still in my memory of my time in the temple. He was gasping with tears in his eyes, my master was holding him tight trying in her way to calm him down, I didn't realize why she could hold him at the time, but what ever she was doing it wasn't working he needed me. I reached out to touch only to have my hand pass through him, I then realize that at the moment he is still more like Billaba than he was like me. I needed to give him a hold in this life if he was to survive.

"Ezra calm down padawan, I am here" I said closing the gap even more to him and sending warmth through our bond which made his ghost - like form more solid, so solid that I could touch him now as I found out as I placed a hand on his head.

Ezra shook and jumped out of my master's hold and up into mine, making our bond even tighter solidifying Ezra even more. I sat down on the bed, rubbing calming circles onto Ezra's back, calming him even more. It must have been a very scary thing to have nearly died and he might even still be feeling the pain of his injuries, something I would do something about very soon. My plan was going to work and all Ezra need to do was trust in me.

"M...M...Master, what h...happened t..to m..m...me"Ezra said finally getting the words out, he words shaking as he felt more pain flooding his body.

"Ezra you died...just for a minute before I was able to get your heart started again, but it's irregular because I believe you have internal injuries that we didn't realize you had before" I replied as Ezra curled further into me as his shaking became worse.

"Am I going to die again?" he asked, his words muffled by my shirt.

"Not if I can help it" I answered sending more warmth down the bond, which stopped the shaking boy, but not his tight hold my shirt.

"Okay, are we going some where that can heal me?" he asked now that he was a little calmer.

"We are, Hera's looking into it right now with fulcrum's help, but I just don't know if you have that kind of time left for her to find it. So I want to give you a choice of what happens next for you"I replied, holding him even tighter.

"What kind of choice?"Ezra asked now sounding curious about what I was going to say and what he would have to do because of it.

"The choice is...one, you could take a chance that we get to a medical facility in time without help,but as I said I don't know if you have that much time left or two, I could use the bond between us to make sure that you make it there, but that would mean tying my life to yours and if you don't make it, it might mean I would die too" I answered him.

This was a dangerous technique, many Jedi of old that had use this technique had died together because of it, but it was something I was willing to risk to save my padawan, my son. I could tell that Depa billaba didn't like the sound of what I was planing, but she was the one who taught me the technique in the first place. I needed to use it, it was my only hope that he would survive this, if we both would survive it.

"Then don't do it, I will make it. I will hold on until we get there, trust me master. I just can't put your life in danger like that, what kind of Jedi would that make me if I did something that selfish and you did say it was my choice"Ezra replied looking down at his hand in my shirt, his knuckles were white with how tight he was holding on.

"But it is also my choice to make as well and for you I would risk all I had to heal you and we do have Chopper on stand by if one or both of our hearts stop, not that I think they will and don't look at me like that master"I said, forcing Ezra's head up as I spoke.

"Caleb you know this technique is a last resort as I once told you when I taught you the technique in the first place. Masters and their padawans are not suppose to have that kind of attachment, your suppose to trust in the force" Depa said frowning at me.

"I do trust in the force, but something is telling me that this is the right thing to do" I said looking at Ezra again, I could see he didn't have much longer before his heart stopped again.

"But your padawan..."Depa started to say before I interrupted "I must look at the over all picture and weigh up what I know against what I don't and I just know my life would be a darker place without Ezra in it. He saved me from my own darkness, even though I had the crew, not one of them could understand what it like to be a force sensitive in this age, I was alone until Ezra came into it".

"M...Master y...you f...feel that w...way about me?"asked a shaky Ezra, although this time it wasn't because of pain, it was because of emotion.

"It is and it is not only me that feels that way, think about what you have learned about the crew, what you have heard and felt, you will see I am right"I said placing my forehead to his.

I could see him thinking over all that he knew of the crew, of everything, then in a soft voice he said "then do it Kanan, but make me a promise that if I start to weaken to a point that I am going to die...don't save me, let me go so I can become one with the force".

I sigh and say "even though I don't want to make that promise, I will do as you ask, but I will do everything in my power to stop you from joining the force, even if I have to hold the link past what is safe".

"Fine, do it" he answers.

"Good I will tell the others what is going on first just in case something goes wrong, then come back here to make the link. You may or may not remember what happened afterwards, what I did to save you but trust me, I am going to save you"I said before leaving Ezra in Depa's hands and going back to talk to the others.

Hopefully they have found what we need to save Ezra and the link will not be needed but the likelihood of that is a million to one, so I was glad that I was going to be Ezra's life line until they do, just like he was mine.

An: I couldn't do it... someone else is going to have their pov next time.