Chapter Fourteen: Conversation

For a good few seconds, no one moved.

They were paralyzed, struck dumb by the fear that coursed through their veins. The Director could feel Muto trembling beside him, could hear Chihimatsu's harsh breathing. A part of him wanted to turn and tell them that it was okay, that they were going to make it through this. But a bigger, more rational part of himself was screaming. Screaming that as soon as the monster in human form opened up those doors, it would all be over.

The S-Class would not be able to make it in time. The S-Class would not be able to do anything to stop it.

They were going to die here.

Then Chijimatsu spoke. "W-who is it?"

The Director would have laughed if he wasn't so sure he was going so soil himself.

The voice that came through the door was bored, if a bit irritated. Like it was talking to waiter in a restaurant who had forgotten an important item on its meal. "Saitama. The guy you all keep attacking. You owe me a new door by the way."

As if to enforce this statement, the monster in human form promptly broke the steel door off of its hinges and strolled into the meeting room.

"I'd take this one, but I'm not sure if my floors can handle something this heavy."

The Director wasn't sure what he expected upon seeing the thing, but it wasn't something so... average. Sure he had seen the photos and the videos, but he still expected something a bit more.

The thing before him – the being capable of destroying everything this organization had worked for – looked average. Unremarkable even. Its only outstanding feature was its shiny bald head and even then it just added to its ordinary looking face. On top of that the thing's silly looking stolen costume – were those pajamas? – wasn't menacing in the slightest.

All in all, it looked nothing like an unstoppable force of nature. It just looked... like a man. A normal man, no different from someone walking down the street.

It unnerved him. In his experience powerful beings were distinct. Something about them stood out, made them seem different from everyone else. Even if it was something as simple as a different hairstyle or a crazy costume, they still stood out in some way. As though the universe itself was highlighting their importance to the world, giving them an aura that no normal human being had.

But this thing, even in its stolen suit, looked and felt completely ordinary –

Danger.

The phrase was screamed into his mind as the thing's eyes met his. Suddenly the Director, a man in charge of the world's most powerful heroes, felt unbearably small as he felt those blank eyes boring into his.

It was like looking into an unending void, so massive and all consuming that he felt like a measly speck of dust when compared to it. Powerless, and so fundamentally unimportant.

No, he thought. There is nothing ordinary about this thing.

The Director held back a shiver as the thing finally looked away from him. "So, which one of you is the boss here?"

"I am!"

"I-I am."

His secretaries spoke out before he could say a word. His mouth opened and he wanted to scream at them to not be brave, to not throw their lives away like this – but to his shame, no words came from his mouth.

The thing arched an eyebrow and folded his arms. The creak of his leather gloves seemed to echo around the quiet meeting room, reminding them all just what this thing was capable of. And what it was willing to do.

"So the two of you are both in charge?"

Muto and Chijimatsu looked at each other before turning to face the thing and nodding as one. The Director felt a small surge of pride at how they met the thing's empty gaze without flinching.

Forget a raise. I'll make them CEOs after this.

The thing glanced over at him again and this time the Director could not stop himself from visibly shuddering and turning away. It took all his strength to keep himself from throwing up from the stress.

"Right. Well, here's the thing –"

" – I want you guys and your little band of weirdos to leave me alone. And fix my door," Saitama added as an afterthought. "Doors don't come cheap you know."

The two weirdo bosses looked extremely confused. And scared, though Saitama wasn't sure why. It wasn't like he was gonna punch them or anything.

Not yet anyway.

It was the woman boss who answered. She was blinking a lot and for some reason seemed to be having a hard time looking him in the eyes. "And?"

"And what?"

She took another deep breath, her hands shaking. Beside her, the man boss took her hand. "W-what else do you want from us... Saitama."

He thought about it for a moment before shrugging. "Nothing."

The two bosses as well as the fat guy in the corner didn't seem to expect that. "Nothing?!"

"Yeah, nothing. Just leave me alone and fix my door."

The male boss was the one who spoke up this time. "That's... really all you want?"

Saitama sighed. "Yes. Seriously, can we hurry this up? I have something important to do and I don't wanna waste my time bashing people's skulls in."

"What do you have to do?"

Immediately after saying that, the woman paled and started shaking even harder. Maybe there was a draft in here?

Saitama's eyes trailed over to the broken windows. Yeah, that might be the reason why.

They should really get that fixed at some point. He knew what it was like to sleep with broken windows and it always sucked. Especially when monsters tried to crawl through and eat him while he was sleeping. And that wasn't going into how expensive it was to replace one.

...did he break a window when he launched that knight weirdo through his house? Now that he thought about it, he could have sown he heard the sound of breaking glass when he threw him...

Dammit, he didn't have the money to pay for a new window! And he couldn't ask these guys to pay for it since he was the one to break it. Granted, the knight was sent by these guys so maybe it was partially their fault?

Maybe he could ask them to pay for half of the window cost...

"I-I-I apologize for my partner's question." Saitama blinked and realized that the man boss was now bowing to him, his forehead pressed to the floor. After a second's hesitation the other two followed suit, shaking all the while. "She meant no harm – "

"Huh? Oh, it's fine. I don't care." He waved a dismissive hand. "So, are you gonna leave me alone and pay for my door? Because I don't have all day."

There was a pause before the man said, "Y-Yes. We will... comply to your demands. We will no longer send our operatives after you a-and we will fix your residence."

Huh. He was expecting more resistance than that. He guessed the bosses were way more reasonable then their weirdo operatives or whatever. "Cool. Make sure you fix it before I get back though. And don't steal any of my stuff while I'm gone."

"O-of course."

"Alright. See ya later."

And with that, Saitama turned around and walked out of the building.

Or at least he would have had he not caught the bullet aimed directly for his head. Blinking, he turned around only to catch another bullet and another and – wait, was that another missile –

BOOM.

Saitama sighed as he let himself get flung through the several of the buildings rooms before smashing through a wall and getting flung outside. He felt himself smash into the hard pavement, no down cracking the sidewalk beyond repair.

He should have known it wasn't going to be that easy.

Standing up he brushed the dust and stray rocks off of his suit, silently grumbling about how dirty it was. The thing was so covered in soot that it was practically gray at this point.

"So you're the guy everyone's been freaking out about, huh."

He looked up and came face to face with what looked to be a cyclops robot, some guy with really pale skin holding an ax and a gun, a black man in a speedo, a robot dog fox thing, an unbelievably fat guy, an old man, and a floating green child.

The floating green child scoffed. "Hmph. He doesn't look so tough. You S-Classes must be getting weaker by the day!"

"Careful, Tornado," the old man said. "This man has proven himself to be a very – wait, where is he going?"

Saitama had turned around to walk away the second the green child had started talking, rubbing his temples to get rid of the rapidly forming headache. He didn't have the time or patience for something like this, not when there were sixty percent off pastries to be bought.

"Hey! Get back here! Do you think you can just –"

"Oi, kid! Your bosses or whatever just told me that you should call it off! You can go ask them in there," he said, gesturing towards the building. "I have somewhere to be. Bye."

Saitama had only taken a single step when he felt something ping across his head. Confused and getting way more irritated by the second, he turned around to see the super pale guy pointing a smoking gun at him. The green child looked like she was vibrating in anger, while the rest of the weirdos looked like they were getting ready to fight – expect for the fat guy, who was too busy pigging out on burgers.

The pale guy's expression didn't shift in the slightest, but Saitama was getting the feeling that he was glaring at him. "If you think we're going to let you go after what you've done, then you have another thing coming."

"Indeed." The old man glared at him. "You started this, boy. And now we're going to finish it."

Alright. Now he was pissed.

"I started it? Old man, you weirdos were the ones who –"

He was cut off from his extremely justified rant by the green child. "Why are you wasting your time talking to him, Bang? Let's just finish him off so that we can all go home!" The green child floated over to him and suddenly everything around him was engulfed in a green glow. "This fight shouldn't take more than five minutes."

Saitama found himself glaring at the sassy child and the band of freaks in front of him. What little patience he had was pretty much gone. Now, he just wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible.

Flexing his fingers, he said, "No. No it shouldn't."