It's a well known fact that the hat makes the man! Be it the rich man, the poor man, space man, thief, soldier or the Indian chief. Yes! Hats are important but the hat we're using in our story is none other than the legendary, Kirwood Derby, which makes anyone the smartest person in the world, and it's being pursued by none other than, Boris Badenov and his fearless leader.
Fearless Leader proclaimed "Once I put on that hat,"
"You will be smart!" said Boris.
"WHAT?!" Fearless Leader barked.
"I mean smarter, dear old chiefy boy" Boris knelt and kissed Fearless Leader's boots "Superior officer pal."
"Badenov!" Fearless Leader barked "You are getting my boots soggy!"
"Sorry" Boris blushed.
"And what happens when I become the smartest thing in the world and put on that hat?" asked Fearless Leader.
"Pottsylvania rules the world!" Boris cheered.
Boris and Fearless Leader put their hats down and started to sing their country's anthem. Sing along if you know the words.
Hail, Pottsylvania!
Hail to the Black and the Blue!
Hail, Pottsylvania, sneaky and crooked through and through...
DOWN with the Good Guys, UP with the Boss!
Under the sign of the Triple Cross!
Oh, Hail, Pottsylvania...Hail, Hail, HAIL!
Just then, some hail started falling on both Boris and Fearless Leader's heads.
"What is the meaning of this?!" Fearless Leader demanded "It's supposed to be snowing not hailing."
"Well you did ask for hail." Boris chuckled.
There's only one flaw in the villain's plan to find the lost hat though, it must be found by the stupidest being alive, which as you remember from our last chapter was none other than Bullwinkle J. Moose.
But then his friend, Rocky suddenly disappeared and a moment later so did Bullwinkle, Mr. Peabody and Sherman. Looks like there's nothing to do left but to start a new series.
"You wouldn't dare?" someone shouted.
Wait a minute! Rocky? Is that you? What's up?
"I am and so are Bullwinkle, Mr. Peabody and Sherman" Rocky told the narrator.
Yes it's true. Rocky, Bullwinkle, Mr. Peabody and Sherman were hanging from trees high above the ground, where they have been snatched by a bunch of cunning traps in their path.
"But who would trap us?" asked Rocky.
"Upside down, even" Bullwinkle added.
"Well, let's see," Mr. Peabody sarcastically sad "Boris, Natasha, Mr. Big, Dr. Limb Burger, Fearless Leader..."
"Okay," said Rocky "We get it."
"We did it." said someone from on the ground.
"Who are you guys?" Sherman asked the men.
"We be Hatfuls" said one of the Hatfuls.
"But why trap us?" asked Sherman.
"Cause we gotta take you to Devil Dan" said the head Hatful.
"All of us?" asked Mr. Peabody.
"No just you!" said the leader.
And one of the Hatfuls leveled up his double bullet shotgun upward.
"Look out Uncle Bullwinkle!" Sherman shouted.
The Hatful shot up his gun and shot the rope that Bullwinkle was hanging from and he fell down onto the ground.
"They got me!" said Bullwinkle.
"Bullwinkle, they shot your rope" Peabody said sarcastically.
"I know Mr. Peabody," said Bullwinkle "I'm at the end of it too."
"Grab em boys!" said the head Hatful.
The Hatfuls grabbed Bullwinkle and took him into the woods, while Rocky, Peabody and Sherman tried helplessly to get their ropes off their feet.
"I can't get the rope off" Rocky struggled.
"Me neither" Sherman added.
"If I could reach the ropes," said Peabody "I could chew them and get us outta here."
"Well, said Rocky "I guess there's one thing left to do."
And so, the plucky squirrel zoomed upward to the end of his rope and finally, the tree limb snapped and Rocky was free. Except for a ten foot tree branch trailing behind him with an abnormally smart dog and a little boy holding onto it.
"Will you slow down Rocky?" Peabody shouted.
"Golly, Mr. Peabody" said Sherman "This is pretty fantastic"
"Quiet you!" Peabody shouted.
"Hang on Bullwinkle!" Rocky zoomed "We're coming!"
Down the alley oop, Rocky zoomed lower and lower. However, the Hatfuls saw him.
"Run Zeke run!" said one of the Hatfuls "Here comes that pesky squirrel!"
"Well I got just the thing for getting rid of pesky squirrels," said Zeke.
"What's that?" asked the Hatful.
Zeke showed a gun "My pesky squirrel gun. I'll stay here and when he passes us, I'll let him have it.
And sure enough when Rocky came zooming down, Zeke rose to his feet and rose his pistol, but unfortunately, Zeke totally forgot about the trailing tree branch that Sherman and Peabody were holding onto.
Well the branch saved Rocky that time, but then his ears encountered Bullwinkle's captors.
"Hey you guys!" Rocky shouted "Drop that moose!"
"You tell him Uncle Rocky!" Sherman kept holding onto the branch.
"Quiet you!" Mr. Peabody scolded "In case you didn't notice Sherman, we are holding onto this branch for our very lives and we are about to be crashed into a fork in a tree!"
And just a Mr. Peabody just stated, the branch caught in the fork of a tree and Mr. Peabody and Sherman fell right into the snow and Rocky was out of sight.
"Well that takes care of him Alfred" said the head Hatful.
"Good," said Alfred "I could use a squirrel skin hat."
"Never mind that!" said the leader "We have to get this moose to Devil Dan!"
The Hatfuls grabbed Bullwinkle and headed through the woods to a strange little hut where an unpleasant welcoming committee was waiting for him.
Author's Note:
Don't miss our next chapter "Hello my Booby" or "Pleased to Beat You"!