So, I tried something new out with the long bits of dialogue. Once you see it, let me know what you think. (I'm pretty sure it'll be quite obvious when you see it.)
Also, more jokes are in this chapter! Yay, finally!
Chara scowled at the screen of the family TV. How dare Mettaton sing a song about being in love with the new human? They were fuming.
One of their siblings, John, the bravest of the humans (which, thought Chara, also meant he was the most foolish) came and flopped down next to Chara on the couch. He was wearing his silly bandana and gloves again.
"You, uh, don't seem too pleased with this show. Why is that?" He said with a smirk, which he didn't bother wiping off his face when Chara transferred their glare to him. "Wait, wait. Don't answer that. I already know why."
"If you say it's because I have a crush on Mettaton, I swear that I will kill you immediately." Chara growled. They were really tired of their family's comments on the matter.
"Whaaat? Nooo, I would never. I was going to say it was because you have a crush on the human."
Chara turned bright red and spluttered, unable to answer for a while, deliberately ignoring John's shit-eating grin. Eventually, they yelled "YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THE SMART ONE!"
John laughed a bit before replying "What, you think I figured this out myself? Nah. I was just the only one that Betty could convince to tell you that she'd figured it out."
"What? How many of you did she tell?!" Chara was quite frantic at this point.
"Everyone except mum and dad."
"I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL HER!" Chara furiously shouted.
"Language, my child!" Toriel called from the kitchen. They hoped she hadn't heard the rest of the conversation.
Chara was getting up off the couch before they remembered that the show was still on. They sat down, muttering "I'm going to kill her, after the show is over."
They tried to ignore John's snickering as they focused back on the television.
"SO SAD. SO SAD THAT YOU ARE GOING TO THE DUNGEON." Mettaton pulled a button out of his dress. "WELL, TOODLES!"
Frisk yelled out in surprise as the ground opened up underneath them when Mettaton pressed the button. Luckily, they landed on their feet. You know the saying; a cat always lands on its feet. Except Frisk isn't a cat so that saying has nothing to do with anything. Anyway! They were happy that some of the rose petals had fallen out of their hair.
"OH NO! WHATEVER SHALL I DO? MY LOVE HAS BEEN CAST AWAY INTO THE DUNGEON. A DUNGEON WITH A PUZZLE SO DASTARDLY, MY PARAMOUR WILL SURELY PERISH! O, HEAVENS HAVE MERCY! IT'S THE HORRIBLE COLOURED TILE MAZE!" Mettaton started explaining what each tile did. "A GREEN TILE SOUNDS A NOISE, AND THEN YOU MUST FIGHT A MONSTER. RED TILES, WELL… ACTUALLY, WAIT A SECOND. DIDN'T YOU DO THIS PUZZLE BACK IN SNOWDIN, HUMAN? THAT'S RIGHT. YOU REMEMBER ALL THE RULES, DON'T YOU?" Before they could answer, Mettaton continued. "GREAT… THEN I WON'T WASTE YOUR TIME REPEATING THEM! OH, AND YOU'D BETTER HURRY. BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T GET THROUGH IN 30 SECONDS…" A wall of fire appeared behind them. There was only one way out before that, anyway. "YOU'LL BE INCINERATED BY THESE JETS OF FIRE! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHA… HA… HA! MY POOR LOVE! I'M SO FILLED WITH GRIEF, I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING!"
Frisk laughed at that, and Mettaton wished them luck before the timer started. They rushed forward on the annoyingly slow conveyor belt, before moving along the puzzle. They made it about half way before the time ran out. They thought that this one might've been rigged, since they did so well on the last ones. Either way, they lost.
"OOOOH, I'M SO SORRY! LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE OUT OF TIME! HERE COME THE FLAMES, DARLING!" There were now two walls of flames on either side of them. They thought that, if it came down to the wire, they could probably run through them fast enough to not get hurt, but they wanted to see what would happen first.
The flames got closer; Mettaton made sure they noticed by commenting on it. They slowly got closer and closer. The flames were right next to Frisk, and they were just about to run away, when…
"ANY. MINUTE. NOW!" Mettaton paused. "…(ROBOTIC COUGH)."
Suddenly, Frisk's phone rang. "Watch out! I'll save you! I'm hacking into the firewall right now!"
It's about damn time, Alphys. Shame you couldn't save us from the play as well. The Hunger replied, although they were mostly talking to Frisk. Also, lol. Firewall.
Stop swearing around children, it's not nice. Frisk replied, before tuning back in on Alphys and Mettaton as the firewalls went out.
"OH NO! HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN? FOILED AGAIN BY THE BRILLIANT DOCTOR ALPHYS!"
"That's right! Come on, Mettaton, give up already! You'll never be able to defeat us… Not as long as we work together!"
And suddenly everything is sunshine and rainbows, even though we're underground, all through the power of friendship.
Why are you so sarcastic?
Give me a break, I was born yesterday.
Mmm. I guess so.
Actually, come to think of it, sunshine wouldn't be that great for you anyway.
"Your puzzle's over… Now go home and leave us alone!"
"PUZZLE? OVER? ALPHYS, DARLING, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT…? DID YOU FORGET WHAT THE GREEN TILES DO? THEY MAKE A SOUND, THEN YOU HAVE TO FIGHT A MONSTER. WELL, DARLING… THAT MONSTER… IS ME!" Mettaton rushed at them, still in a dress, and initiated the Fight. Some battle music was playing in the background. They checked him, again.
METTATON – ATK 30 DEF 255. His metal body still renders him invulnerable to attack. Don't know what else you expected.
"THIS IS IT, DARLING! SAY GOODBYE!" Their phone started ringing again. "IS THAT YOUR PHONE? YOU'D BETTER ANSWER IT!"
"H-hey! Th-this seems bad, but don't worry!" They heard Alphys say. "Th-there's one last thing I installed on your phone…! You see that yellow button…? Press it!"
They hit the big, red, yellow button. The phone started resonating with Mettaton's presence. Suddenly, their Soul flipped around, and turned yellow! "Now, shoot at him!" They willed their soul to shoot MTT, and little yellow projectiles came out of it, hitting Mettaton and making him shudder.
"OOOH! OOOOOOH! YOU'VE DEFEATED ME! HOW CAN THIS BE, YOU WERE STRONGER THAN I THOUGHT, ETC. WHATEVER." Mettaton flew away and the Fight ended.
"L-looks like you beat him! Y-you did a really great job out there." Alphys told them.
"All thanks to you." Frisk replied.
"What? Oh no, I mean… You were the one doing everything cool! I just wrote some silly programs for your phone." Alphys said, self depreciatingly. "Anyway, we're almost at the CORE. It's just past MTT resort. Come on! Let's finish this!"
They put down their phone and moved along the deactivated puzzle, before reaching the exit of the dungeon. They appeared in an area that looked a bit more like the rest of Hotland; orange, red, and made of rocks and sand. There was a lift to their right, probably Right Floor 3, and there were steps up to what must've been MTT resort. At the bottom of the steps were the Nice Cream Guy and the two Royal Guards. The Nice Cream Guy said that he'd sold all his nice cream to the two guards, and the guards told Frisk to not tell Undyne that they weren't killing them. They immediately called Undyne (or Papyrus, rather, as they didn't have Undyne's number but knew she was hanging with Paps).
"WHAT?! RG01 and RG02 are slacking off?! Come ON! They should be KILLING you right now! Not that I want them to, I mean. But they could at least TRY, y'know?!"
"I DIDN'T KILL YOU…" Papyrus said. "WHERE'S MY ICE CREAM?" They laughed and headed to their left, before realising it was just the theatre stage and heading back and up the stairs. They were right; MTT resort was just up there… and so was Sans. (There was also a piece of paper asking them to come into the creepy alley for great deals. They ignored it.)
He was standing next to the doors that led inside the resort. "hey. i heard you're going to the core. how about grabbing some dinner with me first?" He asked.
"Yeah, sure." They replied.
"great, thanks for treating me." Frisk gave him a look as he walked down to an alley. When he realised they weren't following, he said "over here. i know a shortcut."
They reluctantly followed and ended up sitting at a fancy, candle-lit table. "well, here we are. so. your journey's almost over, huh? i gotta ask…" Sans paused.
"why are you continuing? if you keep going the way you are, you'll meet the royal family. which means you'll meet the humans. maybe sometimes it's better to take what's given to you. they'll break the barrier soon, and we'll all be free… you can leave without even having seen a human."
As he paused again and turned slightly, Frisk mulled over his words. He was right; they could just hang around with Paps and Undyne and wait it out. They'd either starve or be set free. Both of them were appealing.
Sans continued. "…hey. let me tell you a story. so i'm a sentry in snowdin forest, right? i sit out there and watch for humans. it's kind of boring.
fortunately… since i'm the first person, besides the ruins monsters, that sees any new humans, the queen likes to check on me often. now, the queen has a great sense of humour. so one day, i'm telling my jokes, and suddenly she starts telling some too.
'Knock knock.' She goes. I say, 'who's there?' 'Old lady!' 'old lady who?' 'Oh! I did not know you could yodel.'"
Frisk cracked up."yeah, that was my reaction too. so we keep trading jokes, and we keep laughing. she's the best audience i've ever had.
'knock knock!' 'Who is there?' 'dishes.' 'Dishes who?' 'dishes a very bad joke.'" Frisk kept laughing. "needless to say, she has a perfect sense of humour. we kept telling each other jokes for hours. eventually, I had to leave. papyrus gets kind of cranky without his bedtime story.
but i told her to come by again, and so she did. then she did again. and again. it's a thing now. telling bad jokes by my station. it rules." Sans looked away for a second. "…one day, though, i noticed she wasn't laughing much. keep in mind, this was quite a while ago.
so i asked her what was up. then she asked me something strange. 'if another human ever comes through this door… could you please, please promise something, as the Ruins Door sentry? watch over them, and protect them, will you not?'
now, i hate making promises. but, y'know, she is the queen and all. and… someone who sincerely likes bad jokes… has an integrity you can't say 'no' to." Sans looked away once again. "do you get what i'm saying? that promise i made to her… you know what would have happened if she hadn't said anything? …buddy."
The lights in his eye sockets flickered and went out. "…You'd be dead where you stand." Frisk unconsciously moved backwards, away from him. Sans closed his eyes. When he reopened them, the lights were back. "…hey, lighten up, bucko! i'm just joking with you. besides… haven't i done a great job protecting you? i mean, look at yourself. you haven't died a single time.
that's right, isn't it? well, chalk it up to my great skills. heh." Sans got up and moved away from the table. "well, that's all. take care of yourself, kid. 'cause someone really cares about you." He walked away, in the direction opposite of the exit, and disappeared. Frisk stayed where they were for a while, processing everything they'd learnt.
After they'd fully contemplated everything, they had a look around. There was a Wall of Fame full of quotes from visiting celebrities. They were all from Mettaton. There was also a performance schedule. Comedians, dancers, Sans… it seemed there was a break going on at the time. There were a couple monsters around, but Frisk ignored them, and they ignored Frisk. They only one they recognised the species of was a Snowdrake with glasses on. There was also a huge blob fish thing lady at the reception desk place.
They moved along and got out of the dining area. They were immediately greeted by a statue of Mettaton in a fountain that was spraying water over the floor. They avoided that and had a better look around. There were a bunch of people waiting by an elevator, which seemed to be out of order. There was also a big sign that said MTT and had a burger next to it. It seemed to be a restaurant. There was also what looked like hotel rooms along a corridor to the right of the entrance. They decided to stop by the shop and see if there were any drinks.
"Welcome to MTT-Brand Burger Emporium, home of the Glamburger. Sparkle up your day™. How can I help you, o customer?" A cat in a MTT-Brand Burger Emporium suit asked Frisk. They had a look at the menu. It was quite expensive, and mostly food and not drink: 60G – Starfait. 120G – Glamburger. 300G – Legendary Hero. 500G – Steak in the Shape of Mettaton's Face. They bought the Starfait, and the cat made a horrifying face and said "Thanksy! Have a FABU-FUL day!"
They took the drink and put it in their convenient magical box dimension that Alphys had installed on their phone, so they could have it later. Then they started to talk with the cat of nightmare faces.
"What? Why are you trying to talk to me? I'll get in trouble if I get chummy with the customers. Sorry." The nightmare cat paused, and made another horrifying face and waved his arms around. "…SO, I wanted to be an ACTOR. Now, what can I do for you, little buddy?"
"How about some life advice?" Frisk asked, while The Hunger commented, Finally, someone who can haunt your nightmares with me.
"Take it from me, little buddy. I'm getting on in my years, so make sure you remember what I tell you. You've still got time. Don't live like me. I'm 19 years old and I've already wasted my entire life." The cat was now smoking a cigarette.
"I'm 16 and I've already managed to be turned into a vampire against my will." Frisk told him cheerfully. The cat grinned in his horrifying way.
"Listen. I like you, little buddy. So I'm going to save you a lot of trouble. Never interact with attractive people. Unless you're 'one of them' they're just going to take advantage of you. Like that time those two chicks in the alleyway asked me to sneak them some glamburgers. And I, naïve teenager that I was, said yes to them. Bad idea." Frisk asked him to elaborate.
"So I went out into the alley to see those two ladies, and uh… you know, see what'd happen next." The nightmare got a sheepish look on his face. "…Then my boss, uh, saw me and asked what I was doing. I was so startled, the hamburgers in my pockets tumbled to the ground. Not wanting to lose face, I scrambled to pick them up! But, as I was leaning over, the weight of the remaining hamburgers… caused my pants to fall down. Then the girls laughed at me. Everyone calls me Burgerpants now."
They patted poor Burgerpants on his back.
Chara was freaking out. After the show had ended (and they'd threatened Betty to tell no one else, or else), they'd come back to see that the TV said "Finale coming soon!" Which meant there was only one more show…
…before they got to see the new human in person.
Reminder, let me know what you think of the dialogue bits separated by paragraphs. I didn't want them to become huge, annoying to read chunks, but I didn't want to just keep writing "Sans paused" over and over in between them. If you'd prefer huge chunks, let me know!