14.

~ It was dark and lonely when Norma arrived back in home. Her mother had vanished and left another mess in her wake. The apartment felt cavernous and almost haunted with its' high ceilings and strange shadows being cast everywhere.

Norma turned on the kitchen light and felt comforted by the glow. She was tired from the day that had started out so well, but had had suddenly seemed to crash all around her.

The fact that Sheriff Romero knew who her mother was, wasn't a good thing. It always meant trouble when the police got too close to their family. Usually when the police knew who her dad was, it was because he was starting fights or some other kind of business that was unsavory. Norma tried to push these bad thoughts aside as she stripped off her clothes and jumped into the shower. If her mother was causing trouble with the police, that could only mean that they would move soon. That all of the careful planning she'd done, all her good intentions to start a new life here, was going to simply vanish.

She thought about Alex. How he would be left to simply wonder what had happened to her. How she would disappear without a trace and he would never know where she went or why. Because that's how her family did things. They would leave in the dead of night and no one would ever know what became of them. They would never contact their friends from that old life again and they would simply start over; as if the last few weeks or months hadn't existed at all. Norma and Caleb had been used to traveling from school to school. It had been chaotic and difficult and she'd envied the kids who'd grown up in the same small communities all their lives. People who had roots and family and a history. People like Alex who had always known their neighbors and had grown up with the same kids their whole lives. It must be nice to have that kind of stability. To know you belonged somewhere.

Norma felt herself want to cry and let the water from her shower wash over her so that her sobs wouldn't feel so pathetic and anguished.

She'd fooled herself into believing she had something with Alex. That they could be together and be happy. She'd foolishly clung to the illusion that she could actually live this lie here in White Pine Bay. None of it was real and she was as temporary as the dying summer wind.

~ Norma fell asleep wishing Alex was with her. She just felt safer with him around and it was hard to explain why. She'd felt safe with Caleb around to, but only because Caleb understood her. They shared so much of their life together and they could laugh at the same jokes.

Maybe she only felt safe around Alex because she missed feeling safe after Caleb left. Maybe she really was no better than her mother who clung helplessly to any man who would give her attention. Still, she didn't have these feeling for George. George didn't chase away any fears that haunted her always troubled mind.

Norma sighed and pulled her body into a tight ball. It was going to rain again and the sounds of the storm echoed through the empty newspaper building, making things feel more demonic and frightening for her.

'It's okay.' she heard Alex's voice come to her. It was like a welcomed memory resurfacing at just the right moment. She closed her eyes and envisioned he was there in the cramped little bed with her. His firm body spooning against hers, his arms wrapping around her protectively.

"I hate the rain." she sniffed petulantly. Knowing full well she sounded like an insolent child.

She imagined Alex breathed a soft, warm laugh on the back of her hair.

'I know.' he whispered. 'Try to go to sleep.'

She rolled over and nuzzled her pillow. Wishing she was burying her face into his chest.

'What is it?' her ghostly visitor asked. 'What's wrong?'

"I just…" Norma sighed and wrapped her arms around her pillow. "I just wish this was real."

She could imagine Alex smiling at her. Imagine him holding her and it wasn't good enough because it wasn't real.

Still, it was better than nothing and she felt herself relax as the rain started to come down in heavy torrents.

She sank helplessly into a world of dreams then where she and Alex were keeping house together and it had an odd vintage, papery feel to it. As though they were out of place in time and reality. Like they were colorful advertisements of the perfect life in some long forgotten magazine; with neatly manicured lawns and trendy 1950's home decor tastefully situated inside.

Norma would clean the house and cook the meals and Alex would go to work and come home. They would discuss serious things like money and how it was fine for now if there wasn't much of it, but things would change when they had children.

Norma could remember thinking about how stressful it would be to run a household on a budget with young children when she suddenly woke up and had to remind herself she was still only sixteen years old and she and Alex weren't technically even dating yet. They'd only sat together at lunch and she'd allowed him to take her to school a few times. That hardly made them married.

She had to laugh at herself. The very idea of being married with a few kids in a neat little suburban home was absurd.

She checked her alarm clock and it was only 3am.

"Oh…" she groaned and climbed out of bed to see if Fanny of home yet.

Her mother's bed was empty and it was still raining outside. As unreliable and as useless as Fanny could be, Norma still didn't like to be home alone all night like this. She always felt vulnerable whenever she was left alone before. A fear that someone might break in and hurt her. She checked the locks again on the door to the stair well and peered out at the streets below. A storm had blown in and the wind was artfully pushing the rain along the street at its' own amusement. Norma didn't see anyone along the sidewalks and all the parking spots were empty. Her mother's old car wasn't parked nearby and it was unlikely she'd come home in this storm.

Norma felt uncomfortable with the idea that her mother would be staying the night at some 'friends' house. It wouldn't be the first time she'd abandoned her children. Back in Florida, when her father Ray was out of town for work. Fanny once left Norma and Caleb alone for a whole week.

Norma blacked out that memory as quickly as she could. It wasn't a good memory. Caleb pushing himself into the bathroom when Norma wanted to be alone. Caleb, laughing at her and pulling on her clothes when she tried to go to bed.
"Do the boys touch you like this?" he demanded. His breath stinking of the cheap booze he could buy from his friends older brother.

Norma climbed into bed and tried to go back to sleep. Tried to go back into a place where no memories could find her. Only dreams.

~ The storm had passed by the next morning. Everything was bright, clean and clear when Alex arrived at the old newspaper building to pick Norma up for school. She must have sensed he was near because she opened the door just as he pulled up. Her face looking distracted and angry. Almost like a dark cloud had settled over her once fine features and made her look much older.

"Morning." he said brightly and she only nodded. It was a relief to see her again. He was sure he would feel nervous about being around her last night. He'd allowed himself to run away with a fantasy. Something he'd done before of course, but not pictured a real girl. A girl he knew and had honest feelings for. Not like Norma.

"Rough night?" Alex asked when she settled into the passenger seat and secured her seatbelt. He could see she looked troubled. Even upset about something.
She shook her head.

"The storm." she told him uncomfortably. She nodded to the building. "Sound really carries in that building."

Alex looked up at the old brick building and sensed that Norma was hiding something. He could always tell when people were lying to him. It was like a gift. Good or bad.

"Oh." he said at last. "How was babysitting?" he asked starting the car.

Norma's expression brightened a little. A sparkle came back into her eyes and she gave a soft smile.

"It was fine. It's not really watching her. Blair just wants a playmate I think." She told him.

"Don't we all." Alex said enviously and Norma shot him a bemused look. A slight smile coming to her lips.

"We played dress up and just had some fun. It was very nice. I think she's just this very lonely little girl." Norma confessed. "I understand that."

She looked sad for a moment. Her face shading over into that sorrowful darkness that Alex didn't like.

He quickly leaned in and Norma looked at him in surprise. Her eyes going wide as his lips pressed delicately to hers; not too soft, or hard. He didn't dare slip his tongue in, the way Rebecca had with him. No, he didn't want his first kiss with Norma to be like that.

He kissed her sweetly and could feel a few seconds slip away, feel her hand slightly move on his chest to push him gently away. He understood he was supposed to break contact then and pulled away from her.

When he looked at her face, all the darkness was gone. The dull sadness was replaced by a rosy glow and her eyes were sparkling. She looked like she wanted to smile but was desperately fighting the temptation.

"What was that for?" she asked at last.

Alex shook his head. It was hard to explain himself now.
"I don't know." he said. "Just… saw the opportunity."

"And took it?" she offered with a slight laugh. He face beautifully flushed now and she was smiling a delightfully bright smile.

"Of course." he grinned. He could feel a slight stiffness radiate in his groin and had to remind himself this wasn't a good time.

Norma looked slightly embarrassed. But it was a good look on her. It suited her far better than sadness did.

"School is that way." she said pointing to the street and avoided looking at him.

"You're right." he said cheerfully. "We should go."