A/N: Before I begin writing this. I'd like to send my thoughts and love to those who lost family members in the shooting in Connecticut. I pray for you, and I hope if you're reading this, that you know that even though we don't know what's it like, we are here for you.

So… a moment of silence for those who were lost.

This chapter is dedicated to those 8 boys, 12 girls, and 6 women who lost their lives on Friday, December 14.

Title: Memorial

Rating: T

Genre: Angst

Summary: Through the rain, she sees the picture.

Rain drips onto black umbrellas.

Black umbrellas are dripped on by rain.

M'gann's thoughts are jumbled, complicated. Usually she'd sort through them when her mind got like this. Withdraw into herself and methodically categorize her thoughts into those little mental boxes in her memory palace, but she knows she can't do that right now. Not the right time, or place.

Connor needs her. She knows very well Connor lost some loved ones today, as did she.

She gently places a shaking hand on his still back. She doesn't want their relationship to escalate too fast because she knows they've just gotten back on friendly speaking terms and she doesn't want to ruin that. Too many awkward silences and tense conversations had occurred between them for her comfort.

Connor is expressionless. He refused the umbrella offered by Artemis earlier, choosing to stand in the rain in nothing but his shirt and his normal cargo pants. M'gann thinks absent-mindedly that he'll regret it later but she immediately chides herself for thinking that because now is not a time to be thinking that. It's supposed to be a time of mourning. But soon, as they're listening to Bruce list the name of heroes that had been killed in the massacre, she finds she can't sit still.

Something's bothering her, something's not right. Sounds seem too loud, voices too harsh, sights too sharp.

Wally comes up to her, gives her a soft hug, "Hey Green Cheeks."

She musters a soft smile, because Wally hadn't had that much energy since Artemis had come back, "Hello."

"I heard that you had to…. That you saw," Wally's stuttering, and M'gann's confused because she has absolutely no idea what he is talking about.

"What?" she asks curiously.

"I heard about Garfield," he blurts out bluntly.

M'gann crinkles her brow, genuinely confused, "Garfield…?"

Wally looks at her curiously, and for a second M'gann sees worry cloud over the fear, "Yeah…. Garfield Logan."

M'gann frowns, "The boy from Bialya? Why? What happened to him?"

Wally's face hardens, "Nothing. Nothing happened."

She watches Wally carefully as as he quietly excuses himself, and then watches him with narrowed eyes as Wally whispers something to Connor in urgent, hushed, frantic tones.

Curiosity burns through her, but then Artemis staggers over, and she's too busy gently comforting the poor girl to deal with it now.

Later, she's placing flowers on each of fallen's grave, and she feels tears prickling in her eyes. The last one is a small, tiny little plaque:

Garfield Logan

There's no inscription, it just goes on to list his birth and death date, and she frowns. Why was he buried so far from home.

Why was he dead at all?

Connor comes up behind her, gently nudging her toward the car, "Come on. We're gonna drive to the Hall of Justice."

They leave Arlington, heading straight for the Hall. The Cave would've been more appropriate, because it's bigger and it has more couches and a kitchen, but it's still undergoing repairs.

M'gann sips the tea slowly, but the liquid burns her lips and scalds her tongue on the way down. She feels empty, hollow, so she nibbles on a few of the meager refreshments they set out. It doesn't help.

Artemis was sitting stiffly by herself, and M'gann makes to walk over to her, because, glory, the girl has just lost her mother and father and had to witness both, but Wally gets to her first.

'you take care of her, Wally,' she thinks mentally, and he only sends her a smile.

Connor is sitting next to her, and his hands are shaking.

M'gann can't take it anymore, "I'm going to bed."

She stands up, and leaves. She ends up just lying there, staring at the ceiling for hours.

And then, she remembers.

It's one of those times where she curses being a Martian because the image replays itself in vivid detail, over and over and over in her head.

Over. And Over.

"I'm gonna take the shot, I think I can-"

"GARFIELD! NO!"

The moment plays again and again and again, and with each time, she feels her heart breaking and splitting and being crushed like glass until she can't take it anymore.

Her scream rips through the silence, tearing it like a thin plastic tablecloth, fluttering in the room, and then everyone's at her door.

Connor shows up first, then Dick follow, and Artemis and Wally follow. Kaldur comes last.

They were all sleeping at the Watchtower, and it makes sense that the original six of them would find each other again.

Connor takes one look at M'gann's tear-streaked face, her voice hoarse and her throat itching and she knows he knew all along.

He holds her that night, and the rest settle themselves on the floor. None of them sleep, they already knew they wouldn't be able to, and they hold each other. They're pieces of glass right now, all of them, tiny little children who want to go home.

They'd grown up too fast, that's the price to pay when you're a hero. They never truly enjoyed having no responsibilities.

M'gann had almost broke during the simulation, so many, many years ago with Artemis and Connor and the blizzard, and she broke when Garfield was ripped from her, torn away like a band-aid on a not quite yet healed wound. The mind barrier she had put up unconsciously at that exact moment could've destroyed her.

When the dawn comes, the beams filtering through the curtain, she wants to quit. She wants out.

"I want to quit. I want to forget," she says quietly to the rest of her old team mates, and she's sorry, and sad, but she feels she has to.

"No," and to M'gann's surprise, it Wally and Artemis that are protesting against this.

"Why? It's my superhero career," M'gann says defensively.

"M'gann. It's not you. I know you think that right now you want to quit, because of grief, but you'll regret it later," Artemis says quietly. She gets that faraway look in her eye M'gann has seen her get whenever she talks about her time as Tigress, "You can never quite be the same or go all the way back."

M'gann purses her lips, because, really, she had been set on quitting, and now, she's not so sure anymore.

Perhaps she just wanted to remember, or forget, she's not sure, she'll have to sort through her thought later when she can be alone, and the buzz of her other team mate's thoughts aren't distracting her.

She feels that she wants to forget, but, the memories come back all the time.

And, the next day, the next month, the next year, when she can finally look at something green without getting teary-eyed, she'll tuck those memories safely away in a box, and place it in a high shelf in her memory palace.

And maybe, one day, she'll get it out peruse through them one day.