Chapter Fourteen

"This sucks."

Even Elphaba couldn't help but smile at that. "Thank you for summing the situation up so eloquently, Galinda."

The five of them were situated in Elphaba and Galinda's dorm room. Elphaba was sitting on her bed, leaning against her pillows, her feet resting in Fiyero's lap as he sat on the end of her bed, leaning against the wall. Galinda sat on her bed, facing Elphaba, and Boq sat perched awkwardly on the end of it. Nessa's chair was positioned in between the two beds.

They were a quiet, sombre group that morning. None of them looked as though they had slept at all. Elphaba herself, despite how tired she had been the night before, had spent an hour or so staring at the ceiling before she finally drifted off and then had awoken at five am with a start. It had taken her a minute to recall what had happened the day before and that it had not been a terrible dream, and she hadn't been able to go back to sleep after that.

She was still shaking and still felt a strange chill she couldn't shake.

"So, where do we start?" Boq asked eventually.

Nessa turned to her sister. "What happens on Monday?"

Elphaba took a deep breath. "I have to be at the hospital for nine am. They'll admit me, and do all the paperwork. The plan is to do a chest x-ray and the bone marrow biopsy."

"What other tests are they doing?" Galinda asked.

Elphaba rattled off the list she'd been mentally repeating to herself ever since Dr Crowe first told her.

"A CT scan, lymphangiogram, and gallium scan."

"And what are they?" Fiyero frowned and Elphaba shrugged.

"I have no idea. I just know they're all outpatient procedures and Dr Crowe said he'd explain each test before it happened. He probably could have told me, but I don't think I could take it in," she admitted. "It's kind of a blur."

"I don't understand why they're not doing all the tests at once," Galinda said in confusion. "Wouldn't that make more sense?"

"A lot of the tests involve being injected with stuff to get the results. So the body needs time to flush the old stuff out before the new stuff goes in," Boq explained.

The others all stared at him.

"How do you know that?" Nessa demanded.

"The doctor said it yesterday when he was making the appointments," he replied in surprise.

Elphaba had absolutely no memory of that. "See, this is exactly why you were with me," she said with a faint smile.

"Will you get the results after each test or will they make you wait until they've done them all?" Nessa asked.

"After each one, I'd imagine. And then an overview of the collective results to discuss plans for treatment," Elphaba replied.

That sounded right anyway, even if she couldn't recall everything... ok, anything Dr Crowe said to her as he made the appointments. It was a shame, she reflected, because apparently that was when all the important stuff had been said.

"Did I miss anything else? I zoned out a little at that time," she asked Boq.

"Just that you're also going to be meeting with a counsellor during the process," he replied casually.

Elphaba sat straight up on the bed and gaped at him. "What?!" she exclaimed.

She wasn't too keen on having to talk about her feelings to a complete stranger whilst she underwent cancer treatment; which surprised none of her friends.

"I thought you took that news too calmly yesterday," Boq grinned.

"But why?" she demanded in distaste.

"He didn't say why, just that it was part of the treatment process."

Elphaba pouted.

Galinda decided to change the subject. "OK, so what's everyone's exam timetable like on Monday?"

"Why?" Elphaba asked.

"So we can work out who can come with you," Fiyero answered as though it was obvious.

"You guys, you don't have too-"

"I wrote to Father this morning, telling him the news and that I wouldn't be coming home for the holidays," Nessa cut her sister off.

"I wrote to Momsie and Popsicle telling them the same thing," Galinda nodded.

"Me too," Boq agreed.

"I only woke up like fifteen minutes before coming here," Fiyero admitted. "But I'm writing to my parents once we're done here."

Elphaba didn't know what to say. "It's going to be a really sucky Lurlinemas," she warned them.

"But at least it'll suck and we'll be together," Fiyero told her softly, taking her hand.

"I want to go to the hospital with you," Nessa told her sister. "I want to meet your doctor."

"Me too," Fiyero agreed. "Plus, I don't really understand all this lymph stuff."

"Yeah, the brochure didn't really help explain it to me," Galinda agreed.

Fiyero frowned at her. "What brochure?"

Galinda looked confused. "Elphie gave me a brochure with some information about this... Hodgkin's thing."

"Me too," Nessa nodded.

Fiyero turned to Elphaba. "I didn't get one."

"Sorry, I forgot," Elphaba apologised. "I was a bit distracted by the time I got to you last night. I can give you one," she offered, reaching over for her bag, but Fiyero waved her off.

"Nah, if the girls didn't understand it, I don't like my chances. I'll just ask the doctor."

"So, exams?" Boq asked, looking around.

"Mine's in the afternoon tomorrow," Nessa said.

"So is mine," Fiyero added.

"I've got mine in the morning, but not until ten o'clock," Galinda said, and so did Boq.

As they all wanted to meet Elphaba's doctor, they worked out that they would all go with Elphaba to the hospital. Galinda and Boq would stay as long as they could before their exams. If Elphaba still wasn't finished by the time Fiyero and Nessa had to leave for their exams, Galinda and Boq would take their place and take Elphaba home once she was done.

They then went through every other day Elphaba had an appointment, and worked out a similar system.

Elphaba was touched by their support, she knew hanging around a hospital was something no one found fun, and as much as she wanted to protest, she felt better by the thought of them being there. That was the hardest thing she was getting her head around- the idea that there would be much she would need their help and support with over the next few months.

"Does anyone have any other questions?" Elphaba asked them, once that had all been sorted.

Boq spoke up hesitantly. "Um, I do. What about school? Will you be allowed to stay?"

"Morrible loves Elphaba," Fiyero replied immediately.

"I didn't mean Morrible," Boq returned. "I meant your father, Elphie. Wouldn't he prefer to take you back to Munchkinland for treatment?"

Elphaba hadn't thought of that. She'd been far too preoccupied with the issue of whether or not her father would even care. What he would do if he did care had never crossed her mind.

"That would make sense," she admitted. "I mean, he's the Governor..."

Galinda gaped at her. "You'd leave?"

"Not by choice, Glin," Elphaba said gently. "But I may not have a choice. If he's paying my medical bills..."

"But your doctor is here!" Fiyero blurted, looking panic-stricken.

"We have doctors in Munchkinland," Elphaba pointed out.

"But surely the doctors and the care is better here," Galinda argued.

"Says who?" Nessa interjected, looking offended.

"If he takes you back to Munchkinland, I'm coming too," Fiyero said stubbornly.

Elphaba's eyes widened. "You can't drop out!" she said, completely aghast.

"Well, I'm sure as hell not going to stay here while you're all the way in Munchkinland doing-" Fiyero stopped, not quite sure how to end that sentence.

The room was silent, everyone thinking words no one wanted to say aloud.

"I'd go mad, worrying about you," he said finally, tightening his grip on her hand.

"Me too," Nessa agreed.

"And me," Galinda added.

Elphaba laughed hollowly before Boq could voice his agreement to the idea.

"So, if my father insists on taking me back to Munchkinland, you're all going to drop out and come with me? I can imagine your parents all loving that idea."

"They-"

"Fiyero, don't say your parents would understand that," Elphaba warned him.

"They would!" Fiyero insisted.

He was completely confident in that, even if Elphaba wasn't.

Boq figured that someone had to bring up the alternative, not knowing that Elphaba and Fiyero had discussed it the night before.

"Er, I'm not saying he will, but what if your father... well, you and he don't always get along and-"

"What if he decides I'm not worth the bother?" Elphaba summarised bluntly, and Nessarose flinched harshly.

"He wouldn't," she spoke up in his defence.

"I've already told Fae that anything she needs medical, money, whatever- I'll cover it," Fiyero told them.

Nessa was stunned. "Fiyero, that's an incredibly generous offer," she said.

"Yeah and-"

"Don't even finish that sentence, Elphaba," Fiyero warned her. "You don't get a say in it, it's happening."

Elphaba appreciated the gesture and the sentiment, but still wasn't comfortable with the idea.

"When I promised you that I'd try and get used to you spending money on me, this wasn't exactly what you suggested."

"No, it's way more important," Fiyero replied.

They spent another hour in Elphaba and Galinda's room talking, and then left. Fiyero immediately headed back to his room, to sit down and write to his parents. He knew they would understand, but he wasn't really sure how to tell them. For the first time, he had an idea of how difficult it had been for Elphaba to tell them; but he was sure it had been a hundred times harder.

"Dear Mom and Dad, [he wrote]

I hope you guys are well and that it's not snowing too badly at home.

I wish I was writing with better news. I thought you'd need to know as soon as possible that Elphaba and I won't be coming home for Lurlinemas like we'd planned. Elphaba especially is really disappointed and really apologetic, but it's not exactly by choice. Or her choice, anyway.

Elphaba's sick. She's just been diagnosed with cancer- Hodgkin's lymphoma. She has a bunch of tests over this week and has to be here and available for the results and so they can start treatment immediately if need be. And I don't want to leave her.

We're all still trying to process the news. Elphaba is trying to be strong for everyone else at the moment, especially her sister. We're all trying to stay positive until we have more information at exactly how bad it is. Physically, she's feeling pretty good. Really tired, but that's her only complaint. Not that she complains much at all.

She only found out for sure yesterday, and that's when she told me and everyone else. Her sister is writing to their father to tell him the news- I told you about the relationship between Elphaba and her father, didn't I? Needless to say, they don't get along very well. Elphaba isn't even sure how much he'll care that she's sick when he gets the letter.

Oh, that's the other thing I should tell you- I told Elphaba that if for whatever reason, her father can't (or won't) cover her medical expenses, I would. I know that it's a lot of money, and probably something I should have discussed with you guys first, but I really didn't think you'd object. I love her, and I want to make sure she has the best chance of fighting this thing, whatever the cost.

Also, we realised today that Elphaba's father might want her to go back to Munchkinland for treatment. If that does happen, I'm going with her. I know you're not going to like that decision, because it does involve me dropping out of Shiz; but I also know you'll understand my reasons. I can't stand the idea of being so far away from her while she's going through this alone in Munchkinland. I won't do it, with or without your approval.

Elphaba's hoping to stay, obviously. She seems to think she'll be able to stay at Shiz through all this. I don't know if it's possible, but if anyone can, it'll be Elphaba. Plus, she seems to like her doctor. A Doctor Crowe? She only met him once so far, but I think she likes him. And she's usually a pretty good judge of character.

I'll keep you posted as we find out more news. Elphaba asked me to send her sincerest apologies for having to cancel at the last minute, she really feels bad. She was really looking forward to meeting you both and seeing the Vinkus.

I'm sorry I won't see you guys for Lurlinemas. Hopefully I'll try and remember to post your presents sometime this week.

Love, Fiyero."

Fiyero re-read the letter carefully. He didn't think it was very good, but it explained what he knew to his parents and that was his main intention. What else could he add? How terrified he was for Elphaba? How although he was trying to force himself to stay positive, and keep Elphaba doing the same, his brain kept straying to terrible scenarios that made him want to throw up? How hard he was forcing himself to reassure himself that Elphaba was going to be just fine and that this was not as bad as it sounded?

He couldn't say any of that to his parents, he could barely admit it to himself. He knew that Elphaba was trying to be strong for Nessa, and he knew that she was the only one that she had cried in front of since she had found out the news. All he could do was be strong for her, that was what was getting him through the day.

He just hoped it would be enough.