Author's Note:

WTVOC is a speed queen who made it possible for me to post tonight. Thanks muchly.

Chapter 14

Monday, August 28, 2006

"Aro has informed me that you will be working on projects of a confidential nature, so you'll have an office, which is rare for a new hire."

"Aro?"

Heidi smirked. "That's right. You haven't met him yet. Don't worry, you will."

It was my first day on the job, and Heidi had led me through a veritable catacomb of hallways before we stopped in front of a door with a nameplate that read Marie Swan. A small swell of pride washed over me at the sight of my name, even though I had no clue what I would be doing and no idea how I would find my office again once my 'buddy' Heidi departed. Moving out to Chicago on my own was a big step for me, but Mom had encouraged me, saying that Dad would have been excited.

Names and faces passed by me in a blur, and I tried to take note of things like the location of the ladies' room and the copy machine, but I was pretty sure it was a lost cause. It would take me weeks to learn my way around this maze.

11:00 A.M. found me sitting at my desk, staring at my empty email inbox, and wondering what on earth I was going to do with myself until 5:00. My office door was open, but no one had come by. With the notable exception of me, everyone seemed busy. It was cold in my office, and I found myself wishing I had gone with a twinset for my first day of work instead of a thin, broadcloth shirt. My shirt looked nice, but it wasn't warm.

There was a knock on the side of my door, and I gave a startled little sound and jumped. My cheeks went hot when I realized I sounded ridiculous. There was no reason to jump. I was perfectly safe in the office. A man dressed in an impeccable gray suit was standing in the doorway. His black hair was shot through with silver and his eyes were a disconcerting shade of hazy blue; his skin was even paler than mine. There was something unnerving about him that made my intuition prickle, but I couldn't say what it was. His proximity made my palms sweat.

"Ah, Marie. It's a pleasure to see you again."

Again? I'd never seen this man before in my life. Had Heidi introduced us? He radiated importance and I didn't want to offend him, so I just stared.

He sensed my hesitation. "How rude of me. Of course you don't remember meeting me; you were quite young." He walked over and held out his hand to me. His skin felt paper-thin and smooth against my clammy palm, but the grip he had on my hand was like a vise. "I'm Aro."

I extracted my hand from his and looked him in the eye. "When did we meet?"

"It's of no matter. The important thing is that we're both here now. You have a very bright future with us, Marie."

Saturday, May 17, 2008

My knees buckled under me. The world tilted, then righted as a set of strong arms propped me upright. I leaned my head back onto the chest of my savior.

"I'm taking this one home." Edward's voice rumbled in his chest as he projected it out to our fellow partygoers; the vibration was soothing. People smiled at us, and I smiled right back without hesitation, even though they were strangers. I hated parties because I never quite fit, but tonight had been different. I was with Edward, and everyone was super nice to us. Earlier in the evening I'd wondered if the guests were unusually nice or if they were sucking up to us. Now I was tipsy enough that I no longer cared. I wondered what life must be like for Edward. He'd always been rich. Did it bother him, not knowing if people liked him or his money?

Edward shifted me from his front to his side, and made easy conversation with a couple whose names I couldn't recall while the hostess instructed the butler to fetch our jackets. They materialized, and mine ended up on my arm instead of on me. It didn't matter, because the buzz from all the champagne had given me a pleasant, cozy feeling… a feeling that was enhanced by having Edward's arm around my waist.

Without any conscious effort on my part, the car door was opened and I was settled into the cool leather seat with a seatbelt on. The whisper-quiet engine purred as the car started and we were on our way home.

Somewhere along the way, I'd started to think of Edward's house as home. It was a little disturbing, given the temporary nature of our relationship, but there was no need to ponder such weighty things right now. My attention was drawn to other things, namely the strong line of Edward's jaw. He had a very nice jaw. How had I never noticed it before?

He glanced over at me and flashed a smile. "Have a good time?"

"Um-hum," I answered articulately. That was how I'd never noticed his jaw. His smile was dazzling. My fingertips stroked the leather seat beneath them. The texture was buttery smooth. "This is a really expensive car, isn't it?"

"You're going to crash the moment we get home."

"Nuh-uh. I am relaxed, not sleepy." I turned my head so that my cheek was against the seat, enjoying feel of it against my cheek. So smooth.

"If you say so."

The rest of the drive home was spent in quiet contemplation. I wanted to talk, but I didn't want to sound like I was drunk when Edward was so obviously not drunk. Instead I focused my attention on the numbers on the speedometer and on the way Edward's hand manipulated the gear shift. I never thought of hands as sexy, but Edward's hands were so capable. We pulled into the garage and he helped me out of the car.

The lights were on in the house and everything seemed a little too bright. I cringed at the light, and Edward smirked at me. "Go on up to bed."

I shook my head. "I'm not tired."

"If you don't want to sleep, what do you want to do?"

Whoa. That was an open-ended question that I was afraid to answer. My mouth worked, but no sound came out.

He chuckled. "That's what I thought. Let's get you upstairs."

"Truth or Dare."

"What?"

"I want to play Truth or Dare."

"Bella…"

"Don't you want to play with me? But you have to turn down the lights." I walked over the couch and curled up on the corner cushion, not bothering to see if he was following.

The lights dimmed. He sat down across from me and handed me a glass filled with something fluorescent.

"Gatorade. You should drink it."

I nodded, because that seemed appropriate. After I took a cautious sip, Edward grinned at me. He leaned forward in his chair, and a lock of hair fell over his eyes. Because I was way too mellow, I reached forward across the coffee table to brush it out of his eyes.

His eyes caught mine as I drew my hand back. "All right. I'll play. Which do you want, Bella, truth or dare?"

"Why do you get to go first?"

"Because this game was your idea."

I was crazy. I hated Truth or Dare. Wasn't it a game you were supposed to play with a lot of people? Games like this always ended with me being humiliated. "Maybe we should play Crazy Eights instead."

"You lured me over to you with the promise of Truth or Dare and now you want to switch to a game made up for five-year-olds?"

"It's fun for everyone, not just kids." Best of all, I was a champion Crazy Eights player. It had to be one of the only games where I would feel confident I had a chance of beating him. Crazy Eights and pool.

"Upstairs. Come on. I'll help you up."

I wasn't ready for the night to end, and the couch was insanely comfortable. "Okay, I pick truth."

Edward hesitated, probably still deciding if he should insist I go to bed. "How old were you when you learned to ride a bicycle?"

"That's your truth question? That's almost insulting."

"All right, then. What happened with the Volturi that you decided to testify?"

"I learned to ride a bike when I was six. My dad taught me. He promised me he wouldn't let go, but he did, and I went a whole block before I crashed."

"This is why we can't play Truth or Dare, Bella. You either can't or won't tell me about you."

"You act like this is all on me."

"It is."

"Then tell me why you kissed Tanya in front of God and everyone when you were supposed to be pretending to be my fiancé?"

"But you didn't ask me if I wanted truth or dare."

I swirled the Gatorade in the glass. "Truth or Dare, Edward?"

"Dare."

"Of course," I huffed. It was easy to pick a dare after he'd already heard the truth question. I needed a way to even the playing field. "All right… I dare you to drink until you're as tipsy as I am."

Edward wordlessly stood and went into the kitchen. He came back with a bottle of what was presumably some kind of liquor and two shot glasses.

I asked, "What is the second glass for?"

"You."

"No way. I've had enough."

"First, I don't drink alone. And second, you're sobering up. I haven't been drunk in years. If I'm going to do your dare, then I'm taking you with me."

It was true; I was sobering up a bit. Me sobering up while he got drunk was part of my nefarious plan to get to know him better. But if he wouldn't drink unless I did, then wasn't seeing him while I was drunk better than not seeing him at all? I was pathetic. I would do anything to stay in his presence a little while longer.

I eyed the shot glass dubiously. "What is it?"

"Tequila. Are you along for the ride, or not?"

"I'm in. Don't we need salt and limes and stuff?"

"Not with decent tequila." Edward downed four shots in quick succession.

Four shots would have put me under the table, but he shook them off. He didn't look drunk at all, but I wasn't sure what drunken Edward looked like. He poured himself one more shot and then he poured one for me. As he lifted the bottle away from my shot glass, a little bit of liquor splashed onto the table. The smirk on my face was irrepressible. No matter how composed he looked, he had to be feeling those shots.

"Bottoms up," he said, waiting for me to pick up my glass.

Edward

I closed my eyes. The liquid burned my throat going down, but not as badly as I expected it would. One shot was plenty for me. When my eyes opened, that foggy tipsy feeling was back full force. Someone was giggling, and it wasn't Edward.

Bella polished off her shot and then giggled maniacally. Perhaps she'd giggled a few times in the time I had known her, but this sense of hilarity was new. I liked it.

A lot of things about Bella were new lately. When I met her, she was too nervous and too thin. Those were qualities that seemed in line with a scared witness. Then I went to Haiti. When I returned, she had wasted away to hollowed-out cheekbones and deep, dark under eye circles. She never volunteered what happened while I was gone, and I never asked. She would tell me if she wanted me to know, and she never said a word.

The difference between Bella now and last month, or even the Bella who arrived at my house, was marked. She was still too thin, but her eyes sparkled. Her shoulders didn't hunch forward anymore, and she seemed comfortable going out on the town with me. And just now I'd heard her giggle.

We were playing Truth or Dare. And we were drinking. It was a stupid idea, as was anything that dropped my inhibitions with Bella. She had kicked off her shoes and was snuggled on her side in the corner of my sofa. Her skirt had ridden up, and the creamy skin of her thighs held my attention.

Bella snapped her fingers in my face, startling me. "Hello? I said I want a truth."

I was feeling magnanimous, and I wanted to know her better, so I tossed her an easy question. "If money were no object, and you could go anywhere, where would you go?"

"Hmm," she said. Her eyes closed, and she looked beautiful. "Somewhere sunny and warm."

"That's it?"

"Yes."

"So I could take you to LA, and you'd be happy?"

"I said sunny, not smoggy. I don't want to be in a city." She paused, her eyes still closed. "I guess I want to go to the beach. Not to get in the water- you know how I feel about that- but I'd like to feel sand between my toes."

"I bet you would enjoy the water more than you think. You've got floating down."

Her eyelids opened, and she gazed at me. "But don't you need to swim? The water has waves and currents and stuff."

"There are places where the water is like glass; smooth and clear. It's a whole separate universe, and it's utterly peaceful when you're beneath the surface."

Bella was staring at me. "You love the water, don't you?"

"I think you could love it too. There's something cathartic about letting yourself relax completely and trusting that the water will keep you safe."

"It's hard to trust in something that could drown you."

"You wait. I'll take you somewhere and prove it to you."

"Maybe someday," she said with a sigh that I recognized all too well. She sighed that way when she considered her mortality. "Well, Edward? Do you want another dare?"

"Give me a truth this time."

"How many girls have you had sex with?"

It was such an un-Bella question to ask, but we were drinking. I frowned. "Why do you ask?"

"I'm the one asking the question, Mister. You don't get to ask for my logic."

"Counting you?"

"Yes, counting me." Even in the low light, Bella blushed fiercely. Even drunk, she blushed.

"Thirteen." I wondered if she would think that number was high. Considering my age, relationship status, and my family's money… I was almost a monk. I was certain Emmett had slept with that many girls in high school alone. The tequila was making me feel almost chatty, and I had to press my lips together to keep from elaborating for Bella. For instance, she probably didn't want to know that I turned down anywhere between ten and twenty women in an average week.

"You're kidding." She sat up, and I saw her sway a bit.

I reached forward to steady her. My fingers brushed her arm and I examined her face to see if her disbelief stemmed from concern that thirteen was high or concern that it was low. "Are you okay?"

"I was number thirteen?"

I counted them out again in my head. I wasn't sure how to respond. "What's wrong?"

"We've talked about my luck. It stinks. And thirteen is an unlucky number, and it just. I mean. Of course I would end up as number thirteen when I'm trying to outwit fate." The words tumbled out of her mouth in a rush, and I realized I still had my hand on her arm.

"Have you really only slept with thirteen people?"

"Are you doubting me?" How could she think I would lie in a game of Truth or Dare?

"Well, it's just. I thought you'd dated a lot of people. Rosalie said…" her voice trailed off, probably because she noticed how irritated I was. Or maybe she noticed that I'd somehow moved from the chair to the couch and I was now sitting next to her.

"Dating isn't the same thing as sex." I brushed her hair back behind her ear so I could see her face better. "Believe it or not, I don't report back to Rosalie about my sexual history."

Her eyes were wide and dark, and we were close enough that I imagined I could feel her breath on my neck. I needed to stop thinking about her neck and her hair and her skin.

"Truth or Dare, Bella?"

I watched her throat move as she swallowed nervously. "Dare."

What could I dare her to do? I didn't want to give any dare that would hurt her, embarrass her, or make her uncomfortable. That left few options. I thought back on her bucket list, and then I smiled at her. "All right. I dare you to do something you've never done before. I dare you to jump off the diving board outside."

Her eyes went wider, and the white was almost visible all the way around her iris.

"It's okay to be scared. I'll be right there."

"I can do it, but, um, it's not something I've never done before."

Horror filled me. She could barely swim. Why would she have jumped into the pool without me? "What were you thinking? You could have drowned!" My voice was too loud, and it rang in my ears.

Bella's lips pursed and she looked sheepish. "I was fine. This was weeks ago, before our swimming lessons started."

That stung. "You were pretending not to know how to swim? You could have just told me…"

"No! Edward, listen. I made a list of things to do before I died, and one of the things was to jump off that stupid diving board. So I did. Jake jumped with me because I couldn't swim."

That stung more. Because I needed to, I poured myself another shot of the Herradura Reposado. And one more for good measure. I was aware enough to realize I was now thoroughly plastered. Bella was staring at me, alarmed, but my anger dissipated along with what was left of my sobriety.

"Why do you trust the gardener and not me?" The voice was whiny and it didn't sound like mine, but the words came out of my mouth. I watched closely for her response.

Bella put her warm fingers on my cheek and giggled. "Edward, of course I trust you."

"Then why did you tell him about your bucket list but not me?"

"It was his idea, so of course he knew. And I didn't tell you because the stuff on it was stupid and I didn't want you to think I was stupid."

Her hand was still on my face, and I rubbed my cheek against it. She brought her other hand up to cup my face. We both leaned forward. Our noses touched. I wanted to kiss her, but I'd promised myself I wouldn't. But if she kissed me, how could that be my fault? I tapped my nose against hers, hoping she would close the last inch between us, but she didn't.

"You're drunk," she murmured.

"So are you." It was possible she was less drunk than I was.

"If I jumped into that pool, would you really be able to save me? Because I couldn't float or swim to save my life right now."

"What if you jumped in the hot tub instead?"

"It's not very deep."

"I know."

"All right." Bella pulled away from me and stood. The absence of her warm presence left me chilled and I regretted suggesting anything that moved her from my side.

She walked up the stairs slowly, holding on to the railing. I walked up behind her, watching the sway of her hips. She went straight to my bedroom and out onto the balcony without hesitation. I flipped on a light and then pulled the cover off the hot tub, a task that was infinitely easier when I wasn't blitzed. I almost fell into the tub when I realized Bella was taking off her clothes.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm not jumping in with my clothes on, that's stupid." She rolled her eyes at me. "Relax. It's nothing you haven't seen before."

There was a splash; Bella was in the water. Dare fulfilled.

"Ummmm," she purred, "this feels wonderful. Do I have to get out?"

"Well," I said, trying to will my eyes away from her chest which was barely below the surface. The water moved around her, sometimes completely covering her breasts, sometimes revealing the tops of them. "I guess not."

"It's your turn. I think you should pick a dare." She spread her arms out behind her along the edge of the hot tub, making her chest more prominent.

I had forgotten we were playing a game. Her nudity was distracting in the extreme. "Dare, then."

Bella grinned up at me. "I dare you to take your clothes off and come into the hot tub with me."

Edward Cullen never backed down from a dare. Ever. I stripped and was in the hot tub in thirty seconds flat. Never mind that I almost tripped over my pants in my rush.

It did feel good. "This does feel good." I sounded like an idiot. Small waves rippled across the surface as I sat down in the water. I watched as they traveled across the surface and lapped against the top of Bella's shoulders. The hot tub was more intimate than the living room. The small space was own private bubble, and more than that, we had been here together before.

"I told you," she said.

"You were right."

"Say it again."

"You were right?"

"You know you've never said that to me before?"

"You're silly."

"You just called me silly."

"I know that. I said it, didn't I?" Our conversation was devolving into inanity and all I wanted was to move closer to her and shut us both up. It didn't help to remember how things had gone the last time we were in the hot tub together.

"I want a truth this time," Bella said, leaning toward me. "Because I really don't want to move."

Her thigh touched mine. The water was warm, but the point of contact where her thigh touched mine was warmer still. Apparently she had moved. Or was it me who had moved? There was quiet for several seconds before I realized she was waiting for me to ask her a question. I let my fingers twine into her hair because it felt natural.

"Was having sex what you thought it would be?" It was a second before I realized I'd asked that aloud. My whole plan had been to ask questions to find out more about her and what she liked, but somehow I turned it into something dirty.

Her teeth gnawed her lower lip and she looked up at me from under her lashes. I thought maybe she hadn't heard me, and I got ready to ask a different question.

Then she whispered, "It was better."

I closed my eyes, suddenly grateful for all the alcohol slowing down my system. Because sober, I would have had her in my bed two seconds after those words left her mouth. The water between us was caressing us both, and for a moment, I allowed myself to pretend we were touching each other everywhere.

When I didn't respond, she spoke, her voice soft and low. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth." I was incapable of leaving the hot tub with her close to me like this, but I did open my eyes. I dropped my hand from her hair, because each second I held it there tempted me.

"Do you ever wonder what it would be like if we had sex again?"

Her eyes were dark pools I wanted to drown in. It was a mistake to answer the question, but I did it anyway.

"Yes."

She seemed surprised. "Really?"

"Do you?"

She nodded.

Bella was going to be the death of me. Because Emmett would murder me. "I can't take advantage of you when you're drunk."

"But you're drunk too."

"Bella, I like you. But we can't."

"Why not? Everyone thinks we're engaged."

"Not everyone," I muttered, thinking of my brother.

"Sorry, I just thought maybe… oh never mind."

That hurt look on her face pained me. Maybe she only wanted me because she was drunk, but she did want me and she did feel rejected. I couldn't have that.

I moved close to her again. "You're right. But the timing is all wrong."

"Nobody knows how much time they have, Edward."

"You need a safe place to be. Safe is not me taking advantage of you."

"But…"

"Shh," I said, putting a finger on her lips. If she said too much more, it would make it impossible for me to sleep tonight or any other night, assuming I managed to remember tonight's events. I moved to the far side of the hot tub, and the water lapped between us instead of toward Bella. We hadn't brought towels outside; I hadn't been thinking. If I had to watch her stand, the water dripping off her body in rivulets running from her shoulders to her… "Wait here."

I stepped inside and wrapped a towel around myself. I then took several towels for Bella. I turned my back as she exited the hot tub. Thinking about her body, wet, was more than I could handle. I didn't need to see it.

We stepped inside my bedroom, and I glanced over at my bed. My head was starting to ache and my stomach churned, and I wanted nothing more than to climb into my bed. With Bella. I looked over at her and realized she was looking at my bed, too.

"We should get you into bed." Only after I said it, did I realize how it sounded. "I mean, into your bed."

She nodded. I walked her down the hall to her bedroom door.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

My mouth tasted like ass.

I rolled out of bed and onto the floor. I was a little surprised to land on the floor.

It was when I stood, though, that I realized I wasn't merely hung over. I was still a little bit drunk. Ugh. The incessant pounding in my head was growing louder and louder. There was even some yelling.

That wasn't just my head.

I groaned, threw on a t-shirt, and stumbled down the steps. Only one person would bang on my door and yell at this hour on a Sunday morning, and he was the last person I wanted to see. If it were anyone else, I could ignore them and they would give up and leave, but not Emmett. I grudgingly threw open the door before he could wake Bella. It was cloudy, but I squinted against the brightness.

"What are you doing here?"

"Visiting you. Let me in." He pushed past me into the foyer, hitting my shoulder on the way in. That jolted my neck, which moved my head, which almost bought him a round of puke on his shoes. There was a reason I didn't get sloshed like this, and it had everything to do with the morning after.

I closed the door and Emmett examined me. "You're pasty. You're always pasty, but you look extra sickly this morning. What did you do? Drink a river of vodka?"

The imagery his words brought forth was unappealing in the extreme. "Can we please not talk about alcohol or drinking or eating? Also, I would appreciate it if you could use your indoor voice."

Emmett's laughter boomed throughout the foyer, intensifying my headache. I wanted to slug him, but I wasn't steady enough to do that in my current state. I would get him back, though. Later. He was my brother and I loved him, but I didn't have to like him. My jaw didn't like him at all.

"What the hell do you want?"

Emmett's eyes scanned the living room. He was looking for Bella.

"Bella's still sleeping."

He frowned. "I guess I should have called."

"I've long since given up expecting basic courtesy from you." That was the understatement of the year, especially considering that he didn't know what the term indoor voice meant.

"Yeah, well, don't get me started on things I've given up expecting from you. It's burning daylight. When do you think she'll be awake?"

"I have no idea. And before you talk to her—no, I didn't tell her about the deposition date."

"Damn it, Edward. What the hell is wrong with you?" He was almost yelling.

I gritted my teeth, desperately wishing for his silence. I backed a few feet away from him so his voice would be further from my ears. "There is nothing she can do to prepare for the deposition. Nothing good will come of telling her."

Emmett stalked into the kitchen. He took a beer out of my refrigerator, glared at the label, and then banged it on the kitchen counter to open it. He did it to annoy me, because he knew I didn't like scratches on the granite. Or maybe he was trying to make as much noise as possible. He carried his beer into the living room and sat down in my chair, again to annoy me, and settled in to wait.

"There is such a thing as a phone, you know. You don't have to wait here until she wakes up." I had a compelling urge to evict my brother from my chair, but it was rivaled by an equally compelling urge to have some Gatorade, a bunch of aspirin, and go back to bed. I settled for glaring at him.

Emmett's hands were behind his head and leaned back in my chair. His boots hit my coffee table with a thud as he put his feet up. "Oh, I think I do. From now on, I want to make sure she hears things firsthand."

"She doesn't want to know. I know her better than you do. Why can't you believe that I'm right?"

"It's her life, Edward. She deserves to know. She's a big girl."

"She'd be better off not knowing."

"Maybe she would. But it's not my job to play God, and it's not yours either."

Emmett was going to tell her, and I couldn't stop him. It was a moral issue for him; he thought it was the right thing to do. But he didn't understand. He hadn't seen her, broken, like I did last month. He didn't how much she thought about death. When he told me about the deposition in my office that day, I had planned to tell her up until the moment she called me at work to ask about volunteering for the Cullen Foundation. It was the first time I'd heard her express an interest in living, and I wasn't about to crush that.

The sparkle was back in her eyes, and Emmett was going to obliterate it.