Okay, this has taken me a while to update.
Disclaimers: KH is not mine, and neither is anything else.
BTW, Xigbar's behind camera, and he's filming home videos.
Keep that in mind. This is in TAPES.
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Castle That Never Was
Tape: Luxord Walks!
"First, we'll start with Luxord." Xemnas says proudly.
"…Xemnas, I'm telling you as a friend. This is a fuckin' stupid idea." Xigbar says behind the camera.
"Hush. C'mon Luxord! You can do it! Walk to Xemmy!" Xemnas says encouragingly.
"…………" Luxord's eyes widen and he stands up.
"YES! GO TEN!" Xenmas says cheerfully.
"WAAAAAAAH!!!" Luxord runs in the opposite direction of Xemnas and into the next room, crying.
"…Okay?"
"Well, he walked." Xigbar laughs.
"…… DAMMIT! COME BACK HERE AND DO IT RIGHT!" Xemnas chases after Luxord.
"NNOOOOOOOO!!!!! MOOOMMMYY!!!" Luxord wails before vanishing into a tiny Corridor of Darkness.
"Sweet! His first Corridor….. Be a proud daddy, Xemmy. A proud daddy." Xigbar teases.
"MOTHERFUCKER!" Xemnas swears violently.
"……. A proud, ABUSIVE daddy." Xigbar comments.
Tape: Larxene's STILL abusive
"Okay, Luxord may have been a failure, but Larxene will NOT let me down!" Xemnas says determined.
"Xemnas. We've been …. Well, let's say 'friends' for a while now. STOP WHATEVER THE HELL YOU'RE PLANNIN'. NOW." Xigbar says.
"Nonsense. We must do this, or they will not have sufficient motor skills when they're their proper ages."
"Look, I don't care if they can't drive! KNOCK IT OFF! It's embarrassin'!" Xemnas gives Xigbar a glare.
"…I'll be a quiet lil pirate now." Xigbar keeps the camera rolling.
"come on Larxene! You can do it! Walk over to me!" Xemnas says in a baby voice. Larxene just stares at him.
"C'mon little one!" Xemnas says. Larxene gives him a glare.
"Cool, didn't know babies could glare like that." Xigbar comments.
"Shut up, Two. Larxy, c'mon! Walk baby, you can do it!"
"Dude, she'll kill you when she sees this tape."
"I thought I told you to be quiet." Xemnas holds Larxene by her arms and gently lets go. She stands by herself, and she looks around with a pleased expression, mildly impressed with herself. He walks a few steps away.
"Hi Hi Xemmy! Hi Hi Xiggy!" Axel says as he comes in.
"Hiya there buddy, say hi to the camera." Xigbar films a shot of Axel.
"Hi Hi Camera!" Axel waves.
"XIGBAR! FOCUS!" Xemnas commands.
"You're hindering my creative muse here, Xemmy." Xigbar starts filming the baby Larxene again.
"Whatcha doin'?" Axel asks.
"Making Larxy walk." Xemnas says.
"…She won't walk? Why?" Axel asks innocently.
"…She's a BABY lil dude." Xigbar explains.
"….." Axel walks over to the standing baby.
"Axel, what are you doing?" Xemnas asks, concerned with the odd expression on Axel's face.
"WALK STUPID!!!" Axel grabs Larxene's tufts of hair and yanks.
"Oh god." Xigbar says, shocked.
"…GRRRRR!!!!" Larxene screams and a bolt of electricity slams into Axel, sending him flying.
"WAAAAH!!! NAAAAAMI!!!" Axel runs. Larxene toddles after him, carrying a pack of miniature Foudres.
"SWEET! That was bitchin'!" Xigbar cheers.
"……….Holy crap." Xemnas says, his face in an expression of complete shock.
"NOT THE FACE!! LARXY!!! GAAAAH!!! HEEEEEELP!!" Axel's screams echo throughout the castle.
"And she's STILL vicious!" Xigbar laughs.
"Indeed." Xemnas says and goes to break up the fight.
Tape: Demyx and His Sitar
"C'mon number nine. You can do it." Xemnas says encouragingly to the tiny blonde baby.
"…Shouldn't you give this job to someone else? I mean, Axel did a pretty good job with Larxene." Xigbar says behind the camera.
"Silence. Demyx is not exactly the brightest crayon in the box, but he SHOULD be able to do this simple task." Xemnas turns back to the baby.
"Heh, Demyx, look what Superior's sayin' about you." Xigbar comments to the camera.
"C'mon Demyx. Walk to Superior." Xemnas says in a sing song voice.
"NEVER do that again! Geez!" Xigbar shivers and the camera trembles in his hand.
"….Sitar!" Demyx says and starts sucking on his thumb.
"YES, Sitar." Xenmas says and sighs.
"…………HIYA SUPERIOR!!" Axel tackles Xemnas.
"AAAAXEL!" Xemnas yellls in surprise.
"Hiya Xiggy!" Axel says happily. His face had a few scratches from fighting with Larxene, but nothing a Potion couldn't fix.
"Hey there lil Buddy. Wanna go get some ice cream when Superior's done being stupid?" Xigbar says.
"OKAY! But aren't you done?" Axel asks Xemnas.
"No. We still have several more hours to go." Xemnas peels Axel off him and sits him down on the couch.
"Stay." Xemnas says, holding his hand out as if Axel was a naughty puppy.
"Is this a new game?! I like games!" Axel says eagerly.
"YES, it's called the 'SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND BE QUIET' game! If you're quiet for FIVE minutes, you get a prize!" Xemnas smiles at him.
"OKAY! I'm good at games." Axel concentrates and is quiet.
"…You're a terrible person!" Xigbar says.
"Shut up." Xemnas goes on trying to make Demyx walk, with no results.
"…….." Axel gets up. He leaves the room.
"Uh… Xemnas." Xigbar says.
"QUIET! He nearly had it." Xemnas keeps helping Demyx.
"….." Axel comes back with Demyx's Arpeggio Sitar.
"AAAH! YAAAAAAY! SIIIIIITARRRRRR!!!!" Demyx runs to it, his tiny legs wobbling as he runs.
"…………."
"………….." Both Xigbar and Xemnas stare.
"I WIN!" Axel says cheerfully.
" You are NOT good at this, Xemnas." Xigbar comments.
"………………………" Xemnas is still awestruck.
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Not too bad! We still have a few more members, and the Destiny Islands crew to work with!