A/N: Well, I promised you I'd try and update again before school appeared and look…I've managed to keep my promise! :D I hope you like it…I think you will!

Chapter 14

Previously…

Their proximity is having an effect on Ruth too, as his breath caresses her skin she lets out a small whimper. The noise she makes is his undoing; he can't resist her any longer. He lowers his head and allows his lips to brush across her soft skin. She gasps slightly but doesn't pull away. Harry continues kissing her, working his way up the side of her neck. She leans back into him; encouraging him and moaning softly each time his lips connect with her skin. When he reaches her ear, he nibbles it gently before pulling back; he has to check she is okay with this. "Do you want me to stop?" he breathes.

It takes all of Ruth's self-control to utter her next words. "Not really, but you probably should."

"Why?"

"Because it wouldn't be fair of me to lead you on." Harry does as she asks and shuffles away from her. Ruth instantly feels bereft at the loss and curses herself for not being able to just go with it. She looks at Harry and feels guilty too; he isn't hiding his disappointment as well as he probably thinks he is. "Harry, I'm so sorry."

"What on earth for? I'm the one who should be sorry Ruth. You made your position quite clear and…"

"But my position isn't 'clear' Harry." She sighs before whispering, "I don't know what to do for the best. I thought I had it all figured out but…"

"Ruth, if there's any confusion about how you feel then we shouldn't do this."

"I know how I feel," she admits shyly. "I've known for a while. It's just…complicated."

"Because of the baby?" he asks. Ruth nods. "I've told you that doesn't bother me."

"How can it not? I slept with someone else!"

"We weren't together, Ruth." Harry reasons. "As much as it hurt me to know you'd done it, you were free to do so."

"I only went out with him to distract myself from you," she admits quietly.

"What?" Harry is shocked by her confession; they have spoken about Neil before but only briefly and Ruth has never given any insight into her reasons for their relationship.

"Even though I'd finished our relationship before it had even really begun, the way I felt about you didn't change. I was just too embarrassed by everyone talking about me…about us. So I started seeing Neil; I was trying to get over you and move on, but deep down I knew it wouldn't last. Finding out he was married just brought it to a quicker end. I didn't even want to sleep with him, it-"

"Did he force you?" Harry asks through gritted teeth; anger burning through him at the thought of someone hurting Ruth.

"No! No, it was perfectly consensual, apart from me having had too much to drink. I don't think it would have happened if I'd been sober. I know it wouldn't have. I was so stupid and I'm truly sorry."

"You don't need to apologise."

"I do, Harry."

"No you don't. I'm not going to lie to you; I was shocked when you first told me you were pregnant. I still held out hope for us and I hated the thought that you'd…been intimate with someone else so soon after we had been out."

"See. That's what I mean about it bothering you. I-"

Harry raises his hand to stop her. "But," he emphasises, "that soon dissipated Ruth, replaced by an overwhelming urge to take care of you…and the baby." He grasps both her hands in his and shifts closer to her once more. He takes a deep breath as he prepares to tell her how he feels for the first time. "I have to tell you something; I should have told you years go. I love you Ruth. I'm certain of it. And I know that I will love your son too because he is part of you."

Ruth gasps at his declaration. She'd suspected his feelings ran into love, she'd been told as much by Catherine and Adam, but it was entirely different to hear it from him. Wounded at her lack of positive reaction, Harry drops her hands and stands to leave. Ruth rises to meet him. "Where are you going?"

"I've said too much, Ruth. I-"

Dismayed at the prospect of him leaving, Ruth throws caution to the wind and makes a decision there and then. Moving towards him she whispers, "No Harry, I've think you've said just enough."

She places her hands on his chest and Harry prays that she doesn't feel how fast his heart is beating due to a mixture of nerves and anticipation. She does notice, but the speed of his heart matches her own so she doesn't care. Slowly, she stretches to press her mouth to his. The kiss is nervous at first; their noses bump as neither knows which way to tilt their head, but as they begin to feel more at ease with each other it becomes slow and loving. Harry moves his hands to her face, cupping her cheeks as she wraps her arms around his neck and presses her body to him. She closes her eyes in pleasure at the sensations that his tongue is causing as it swipes across her lips. She lets out a sigh and he seizes the opportunity to allow his tongue to explore her mouth; slowly and sensually dancing with hers. They kiss like this for several minutes before breaking apart; foreheads resting against one another.

"Ruth," Harry begins, "If you are unsure please tell me now. I couldn't bear to find out three or six months down the line."

Ruth strokes his cheek. "Harry. I love you too. I have for a long time. It took me a while to realise it and even longer to admit it to myself and by the time I had I was already pregnant and I didn't think I could deal with the complications that a relationship could bring."

"What changed?"

"When you were in Lebanon, I realised how much I missed you; how much I want you. Want us. I can't carry on keeping you at arm's length, it's too hard. I can't promise it will work out, but if you can accept me as I am; a fat, hormonal wreck then I want to try being with you."

"I've told you before, you're not fat."

"I notice you're not arguing with 'hormonal'," she observes.

"Ruth, this week alone you've burst into tears after spilling the tiniest bit of coffee and practically ripped Zaf's head off for tapping his pen on his desk. I'd say the evidence speaks for itself," he teases. "Despite all that, yes, I want to be with you." He punctuates his point with a small kiss on her lips, before sitting back down on the sofa, Ruth curling into his side.

"I want you to know that I don't expect anything from you with regards to the baby."

"I plan on treating this baby as if he was my own…providing you'll let me."

Ruth cranes her neck to look at him. "Harry I can't ask that of you!"

"You're not. I'm offering. But if it makes you uncomfortable…"

"I don't know Harry. See, these are the complications I mentioned before. The reasons we shouldn't be doing this."

Harry decides to cut her off before she talks herself out of the recent development in their relationship. "Okay. We'll just play it by ear. Or to coin Adam's favourite phrase, we'll let things just 'crinkle out'." Harry makes a disgusted face as he utters the words, causing Ruth to chuckle slightly. "We don't have to make any decisions now. We'll take things nice and slowly. You're still leading this, Ruth."

She nods in understanding. "There's something else."

"I thought there might be," he admits, earning him a swat on the arm.

"I want to keep this quiet. For now."

"Ashamed of me?" he jokes, but Ruth's glare tells him under no uncertain terms that it's not a laughing matter. He ducks his head remorsefully. "Sorry."

"The gossip was bad enough before; it'll be ten times worse now. I don't want people to think I'm trapping you into this relationship just so my son has a father."

"It's not really any of their business," he reminds her before agreeing to her request. "Okay, we won't say anything. I'd like to tell Catherine though. She'll inevitably ask and I don't want to lie to her."

Ruth considers this for a moment and remembers Catherine's words from the previous week. "Of course you can tell her. She's your daughter after all. She'll be pleased, I think, if our conversation at the airport was anything to go by."

"I meant to apologise for that. Catherine can be a little blunt when she wants to be."

"Don't. She gave me a lot to think about. We might not be here now if it wasn't her."

"I must remember to thank her then." A comfortable silence falls over them and they sit for a few moments before Harry rises and pulls her to her feet. "Come on."

"Where are we going?"

"It's your birthday remember, and as you've got no plans, I'm taking you out for lunch."

A/N: Can't possibly even guess when the next update will be. Things are about to get hectic for me. Please be patient with me; I'll update when I can.