October 1
I can't imagine why, but I feel like things are changing. Normally, I'm all for a healthy dose of change, but in this case, I don't like it. At all.
For one thing, Gingitsune has been seeing a lot of that Hobo bastard lately, and she tells me she might actually like him. God, I can't fucking stand him! I continuously warn Gingitsune that Houjou is no good; that I have a horrible feeling about him, and my horrible feelings usually turn out to be right, but she refuses to listen to me.
But here's the kicker: I told her this once more yesterday, when she walked home with me and Kirara, and she actually snapped at me about Kagome. If I'm not mistaken, she said something along the lines of, "Why must you insist on being such a fucking rectal wart about this?! I never said anything about you fucking Kagome in a whirlwind of lust!" Okay. This pissed me off.
"That's got nothing to do with this." I retorted, my voice low and dangerous. Even Kirara knew to let the subject go when I sounded like this. This was my one and only warning that I might explode. However, Gingitsune, who had been my first female friend, who should've known this better than anyone, ignored the very clear warning and snorted.
"Oh, bullshit, Inuyasha! That is pure and utter bullshit and you should be stricken down by lightning for even saying it! You're being a moody pussy just because Kagome hasn't said anything to you since you fucked her, and you're just not used to that. So you're just trying to make her jealous by pretending to give a shit about me!"
"Gingitsune..." I growled, my grasp on my backpack strap tightening. This was rare—a second warning, and only because Gingitsune was such a good friend.
"Don't take that fucking tone with me, you wishy-washy son-of-a-bitch! You know what, Inuyasha? Piss off!" She yelled, and just walked off. I could do nothing but stare after her, vexed beyond belief. I then looked at Kirara, who shrugged, looking just as bewildered as I.
"I better go...calm her down." She mumbled, and I nodded, understanding her obligation to her friend. When she was gone, it took me a long time to calm down, and even now, I'm still furious that she would assume such erroneous presumptions.
So I am not talking to Gingitsune as of now. Well, actually, I've tried to talk to her, but she won't talk to me. She dares not sit within throwing range of me, which causes tension between me, Miroku, and Kirara when I sit with them and she suddenly leaves, without even a sorry excuse to pardon her rudeness. I can't even have a conversation with her nowadays. Miroku and Kirara are still my friends and everything, but I felt a certain closeness with Gingitsune. I could talk to her about anything, as well as freely express my admiration of her without fear of consequence (even though I never feared anything anyway, but I'm being figurative).
This is something I would never admit in front of anyone, not even myself in the mirror, but I felt empty inside when Gingitsune stomped away from me that day. It was almost as if it signaled her walking out of my life, and that was unacceptable. I absolutely had to get Gingitsune back as my friend, and soon, or I would lose her to the asshole Houjou.
There is something I did neglect to mention. You know already that I screwed Kagome, even though I wasn't exactly at optimum performance, but it was fine all the same, though I'd rather never bring it up again. However, I revealed this episode to Gingitsune.
All of it.
For a man like me to admit this at all to anyone was something that could never happen, so telling Gingitsune this was big. It burned me that she revealed my secret about fucking Kagome at all, but I was relieved that she hadn't yet seemed to tell anyone about my...prematurity. That proved to me that somewhere, deep inside this cold bitch Gingitsune had become, still rested my Tsune-chan.
So, anyway. Back to the fact that I fucked Kagome. I did this, as you well know by now, yet once it was over, I acted apathetic in order to prevent her from possibly thinking there might be a relationship in the works for she and I. This happens often, so I had to develop a technique for myself. But what was so weird was how she seemed not to care much. She didn't even ask if she'd see me again!
...
Actually, now that I think about it, that would be a stupid question to ask since we do go to school together, but still, you know what I mean. She hasn't once looked my way, and the way she talks to her friends indicates that this blatant disregard was not even deliberate. But the fact that she's ignoring me isn't what's infuriating me. What's infuriating me is how she thinks she's turned the tables on me and done what I had planned to do in the first place. That bitch has some audacity! I took her virginity and she doesn't even have the decency to pine after me like a lovesick puppy.
Yes, I am a sick, twisted person. There's nothing I can do about it.
There is, however, something I can do about Kagome.
Inuyasha leaned against his door, eyes closed and arms crossed. He was contemplating his day at school with an intense level of fury whipping through his body. He knew he wasn't going to have a good day after first period when he saw Gingitsune and Houjou laughing together, but his breaking point came after school. He had seen the two walking from the football field, smiling and holding hands...just like he used to do with her. The very thought made his insides clench, but to top it all off, he could swear on his very honor that Houjou cut him a sneer, his eyes vindictive and evil.
Inuyasha snarled under his breath as he recalled this, just as Kagome came onto the floor from the elevator. His anger emboldened him, and for no apparent reason, he yanked her by her wrist as soon as she was within reach of him, pulling her close to him. She stared up at him, startled by the sudden movement.
"What the hell?"
"I should ask the same of you." He smirked dangerously, unnerving Kagome with the feral look in his eyes.
"Inuyasha, get off of me..." She cleared her throat, trying to tug away from him, but as a human, she was powerless against him. She knew it, and so did he. He planned to exploit this.
"You sure weren't saying that a few days ago." Kagome's face went red. "Just as I thought. Then why are you avoiding me?"
"Look, I'm no magnet, okay? I don't cling. And I believe you made it quite clear that you considered me nothing but a fling, something to get your rocks off on, so let me ask you—why do you even care?" Inuyasha's smirk fell and he growled. She had caught him off-guard. Inuyasha hated that. It was only sexy when Gingitsune did it.
"Keh. Fuck off." He scowled, pushing her away and going into his own apartment, slamming the door behind him. Kagome looked down at her pale arm, made partially red from Inuyasha's grip, and it stung at the lightest touch.
"Freaking maniac..." She mumbled, entering her home.
Inuyasha was furious with himself, so much so that he didn't even bother taking it down in his journal as he lay in his bed, head buried in his pillow with the faint hope of maybe smothering himself. He was behaving like a newborn, for God's sake, and the worst part of it all was that he knew it. He had just practically wrung Kagome's arm out of its socket in his anger with Gingitsune, and for what? He might've even raped her just to still his own wrath.
"I'm...a fucking beast..." He hissed, his fingers balled into painful fists.
What the hell is wrong with me? Ever since I came to this place, I've been virtually unable to control my emotions. Usually I wouldn't dare tell Gingitsune I was upset about her preference...This place is screwing me up. He decided mentally, and his ears, previously deflated, perked up when there came a knock at his front door. He got out of his bed and warily approached the door.
Kagome might've told her father what I did to her...
He opened the door swiftly, an explanation on his very tongue, but it died a quick death when he saw that it was Gingitsune, staring pointedly down at the floor. For the first time in a long time in a long time, his heart felt warm and he smiled.
"Tsune-chan."
"I...came to tell you something."
"You don't have to stand outside in the cold for that. You know my house is your house."
"Well, actually...I can't stay." She mumbled, not looking up at him. "I've got a date. With Houjou. In a few minutes. He's waiting outside..." Inuyasha stared at her. In the course of very few days, he had already lost his friend, almost as dear to him as his own manhood.
"Why?" He asked quietly. "Why him and not me?"
"Houjou gives my life some stability, something I haven't had since I met you. And...since you can't seem to choose between me and Kagome, I've decided to do it for you." Too many thoughts were dashing through his head, and his brain was throbbing.
"Whoa, whoa, wait." He shook his head. "You actually want to be with me?" At her slight blush, his jaw dropped. "Oh, damn it, Gingitsune, why the hell didn't you tell me that?! We could've save all this time!"
"Even if I had told you, you hamfisted lummox, you would still lust after Kagome!" She fumed.
"I wouldn't, Tsune-chan, and that's just it—I don't want her anymore. You've been the only woman on my mind for the longest time, I swear to you." But this had not been what she wanted to hear. Contrary to Inuyasha's expectations, tears welled up in Gingitsune's eyes and she punched him in the chest. Physically, it barely hurt, but emotionally, she crushed him.
"So that's what this is! In your all-too-typical philandering fashion, you've gotten your rocks off with her, then when she doesn't want you, you came sidling up to me! I'm not sure whether or not I informed you, "Romeo"," she drawled angrily, making air quotations that stung Inuyasha to the quick, "but I am not your fucking playtoy, you polygamous bastard. Maybe Kagome will give it up to you on a whim, but I am not the one. You had me and you gave me up for a girl who turned the tables on your stunned ass. So guess what, "friend"? You can kiss my ass!" She turned to leave, but Inuyasha grabbed her wrist in a flurry of desperation, pulling her back.
"Please," he implored hoarsely, at the end of his rope. "I-I need you, Tsune-chan. You're my only true friend, and I can't bear to let you go—not like this." She glared at him, still tearful.
"Real friends don't lust after their friends." With a huff of finality, Gingitsune was gone. Inuyasha dropped to his knees, gaping at his open doorway with a mixture of despair and a newer emotion, heartache.
"You truly are a pathetic whelp." Inuyasha ignored his older brother's voice behind him, or either hadn't heard. He was used to Sesshoumaru's enigmatic entrances. "A real kyuuketsuki would never allow a mere female to affect him so dramatically." Inuyasha clenched his fists with a growl.
"She was my friend. The one person I could confide in, and my overactive libido made me lose her."
"Sesshoumaru studied the lovesick man, really a boy right then, and said, "You have changed, my brother. You disappoint me. Were my constant teachers worth nothing to you?"
"I—no, of course they were...but..." Inuyasha shook his head and closed the door with a tired sigh as he sat against it, staring into the distinctive carpet fibers below his feet. "It's impossible for me to win, isn't it? You're notably disappointed in me, Gingitsune hates me for something I can't control and haven't even bothered to..." Sesshoumaru nodded, having dreaded this, the most miserable day of his young brother's life: the day in which he discovered that his heart, though biologically cold, was not made of stone. He sat beside Inuyasha, who was startled that his venerable brother would deign to sit on the floor.
"You will never speak of this to anyone." Sesshoumaru commanded, and Inuyasha realized that he was about to reveal something extremely important.
"Of course." Inuyasha nodded, silently giving his solemn word. Sesshoumaru was quiet for some time, until he finally said, "This feeling you have...it is not weakness. It is, in fact, one of the few things we have in common with humans. Every single person experiences the sensation at least once in their life." Inuyasha almost feared to ask, but the world just flew out like birds being released from lifelong imprisonment.
"Have you?" He was flabbergasted when Sesshoumaru nodded in affirmation.
"Several years ago, before you yourself was a vampire, I too experienced the feeling. Humans would call it something akin to love, but we are incapable of that much emotion. It morphed from lust to jealousy, to a fierce protectiveness, and finally, helpless, pandering affection. I hated myself witha passion for what I perceived as a hindrance of weakness, and thought I would be happy when she was murdered by a devourer, but I was not. I in fact became insane with rage, and refused to rest until his blood stained my very person."
"Did you kill him?" Inuyasha asked eagerly, hoping his brother had delivered a heaping dose of comeuppance to this brutal murderer.
"Alas, I was unable to do so, for by the time I discovered what the kentanka had done, he had already fled the country. I know not whether he still lives or not, but if I ever saw him again, I would squeeze his fucking throat until his eyes popped out of their sockets and his skull imploded." Inuyasha smiled brightly at this violent declaration. Devourers were even more loathed by the traditional vampiric community than hanketsuki, which was saying something. They were known as newborns who never quite developed a sense of restrain, and were thus compelled to eat anything gluttonously, hence their name.
"I'm glad to hear that. Thanks for cheering me up a little, Sesshoumaru." The older man nodded.
"Meanwhile, have you yet found a suitable nyoubou?" And just like that, Inuyasha's already minimal amusement faded.
"The girl who just left. I...wanted her as my mate. But apparently, it wasn't meant to be...she only wants stupid fucking Houjou now." Sesshoumaru looked at him.
"Who is Houjou?" He questioned, though alarm struck at him immediately after hearing that familiar name after so long.
"Some asshole Gingitsune's taken a liking to." Inuyasha grumbled. "I think he's a kyuuketsuki, but not an exemplary one. He seems evil to me."
"Our kind have an unfailing intuition. Trust it." Sesshoumaru stood and looked down calmly at his brother. "I recall telling you not to harm anyone around here. However, if ever you feel the need to kill this Houjou, I give you my explicit permission. In the meantime, try to keep your emotions from running away." Inuyasha moved out of his path as Sesshoumaru left the conventional way, through the door. When it was closed behind him, he looked at it for an indeterminable amount of time, his thoughts going wild. His hands clenched into serenely enraged fists.
No. This is no longer my fight. If I know Inuyasha, he will do what is right and eliminate that scourge from the surface of the earth.
He closed his eyes, and in a flash, he was gone.
In his apartment, Inuyasha smirked wickedly. He would definitely take advantage of his brother's approval.
I just hope Gingitsune doesn't hate me too much...
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Black Ice: Okay, so...this chapter was a bit short.
Blood Rain: Yeah, and angsty as all get out. I LOVED it!
Black Ice: (rolls eyes) In the meantime, we're gonna be editing No Secrets in Strangetown for quite some time, so don't expect chapters for that for a while.
Blood Rain: Reminder, people: it is not being deleted. Simply edited. It's gonna look shorter than it really is...that's about it. The content's not changing by much.
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Today's Rant: (Well, now, here's a little something to lengthen this chapter a bit) My prayers have been answered!
Blood Rain: Okay, this is the thing. I'm sure you remember the rant about Inuyasha showing all the time, right? Well, apparently, somebody was listenin', 'cause since we're a bit slow, we just really noticed that Inuyasha only comes on twice a day now, and at 5 to 6 in the morning, when no one's really watching TV (in the southeast, anyway)! But we are a bit pissed that it's starting all the way over.
On a crappier note, Throwback Friday or whatever the hell they were calling it got suckier now that they've taken off the Brak Show and decided to run Oblongs to death again.
But Saturday's gotten better! Because they're not showing anything twice, there's more stuff on the lineup! I'm not much of a Venture Brothers fan, but it's okay, and I could probably stand to watch it;
Cowboy Bebop (what more can I say?);
Aqua Teen Hungerforce (love me some Meatwad!);
Metalocalypse (not as great at Flapjack (grins deviously at kagome313), but it's okay for watching when nothing else is on);
Shin-Chan (I've gotta admit, it just hasn't been as funny anymore. I prefer the older episodes. Gotta love the classics, right? Inuyasha excluded, though);
Death Note (which is being reshown (is that a word? Eh, who cares), but I want to watch it all the way over again 'cause I never got to catch ALL of the episodes);
Home Movies (to be honest, I'm sick of Home Movies. Show some Case Closed and Super Milk Chan, goddamn it!);
Full Metal Alchemist (see the explanation for Death Note; same rules apply);
Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law (I just love how Adult Swim twists around old cartoons like Space Ghost and Sealab (THAT ACTUALLY USED TO BE AN OLD 70's CARTOON!! But back then, it was Sealab 2020 (twentieth century) and actually made more sense))
Frisky Dingo (sucks shit)
The Boondocks (LOVE IT!)
Fooly Cooly (a.k.a FuriKuri) (LOVE IT!!)
Sealab 2021 (stupidly awesome)
Space Ghost: Coast to Coast (speak of the devil, huh?)
And then, of course, Inuyasha. Twice. For an entire hour. Damn, they could at least show the freaking opening songs, though! I've got nothing to go on but those old-ass DVDs (only three) I have in Japanese! Great way to learn, though. (Hint-hint for next rant)