A/N: You may need that box of tissues again.

We thank you all for your patience and your continued reading and reviewing.

Shelbylou - you're the best. Couldn't have gotten this chapter done without you.

The next morning dawned bright and beautiful but to the grieving remaining members of Team Gibbs, and their relatives, the beauty of the day was laughing at them and seemed to shine down on them like a spotlight on their pain. However, in beds all across town, the few remaining members of the MCRT and their scientist teammates , dragged themselves out of bed to began their day, each with their own feelings about the pain that were in still very much locked in place, still sharp and very real.

Even visits from their lost loved ones had not managed to dull the pain. The gentle reassurances, the harsh reality checks; the fact that they had spoken to people lost to them wasn't enough, and they knew that only time would succeed in taking away their sorrow. But time was not their friend right now and each day seemed to drag on longer and more painfully than the one before it. Would things ever get better? Some of them doubted it, even the ones who'd lived through personal loss like this before. Like this? Truth be told; none of them had been through loss quite like this before, on one hand there was the tragic loss of a friend, on the other, the loss of an innocent soul, alive in body, but in every other aspect as dead as the man they had recently buried.

But, still, a few of them firmly believed things would get better and the optimist among them embraced those little rays of sunshine and saw them as a means to start the healing process. Time would bring peace, time would make it easier to live with, less painful to think about; eventually they would be able to look back and remember their fallen friend with a light heart and a smile at the memories of his antics….Eventually. Even the people deadened by the loss believed they would only be able to move forward from this point on, one painfully small baby step at a time.

As Ducky got out of bed and headed toward the shower, his mind immediately drifted towards Anthony and how empty life was going to seem without him. He let the massaging effects of the hot shower soothe his aging body and wished with a heavy heart, that it could do the same for his tortured emotions. His heart finally relinquished his own grief and pain and in the sanctuary of his bathroom and amidst the noise of the shower, Ducky wept. He wept for the loss of Anthony. He wept for Timothy's pain and the guilt the young man was burying himself under. He wept for the girls, both of whom loved Anthony on completely different levels, but were equally as devastated. He wept for Jethro, who'd lost a son; someone he'd had a unique and close-knit bond with. His heart clenched at the thought and he knew that it was possible that his old friend wouldn't be able to climb back out of that pit he'd fallen into when Shannon and Kelly had been ripped from him, the same pit that Jethro Leroy Gibbs was slowly falling into over the loss of Tony. Having watched the man teeter on the edge of that chasm when they'd lost Caitlyn and again when they'd lost Jenny; it wasn't hard to imagine the real possibility that this time, Leroy Jethro Gibbs would not find his way back. Ducky stood there, in the privacy of his bathroom and wept for all of them, and finally, he wept for himself.

***************

Jimmy woke up, he had no idea why, but he was soon wide awake and quickly put the pull out bed away before heading into Ducky's kitchen to start brewing the coffee for everyone. Realizing that Dr. Mallard still hadn't got up, Jimmy started setting out what food he could find to make a reasonable breakfast for the kindly M.E. and his guests, though he knew that there was a distinct possibility that no one would be hungry.

Mr. and Mrs. McGee were the first to appear in the kitchen and were surprised to find a strange young man preparing their breakfast. Jimmy handed them both a mug of the rich coffee and introduced himself to them without any fuss. He found it slightly disconcerting to meet Tim's parents under these circumstances, especially seeing as he hadn't laid eyes on the former agent since this tragedy had taken place. He settled for asking them a question instead.

"How's Tim? I haven't seen him since the morning this happened." Jimmy quietly admitted with a tinge of shame to his voice. Tim's mother smiled ruefully.

"He's devastated but is trying to get through this one day at a time." Tim's mother answered quietly. "We're going to pack up his apartment and clear it out for him this morning."

"Yes, Ma'am. Dr. Mallard told me. He also thought you could use some extra help and I would like to assist by taking some of this burden off your shoulders. I called Ziva last night and asked her if she would help too, she said she would and is going to ask Abby. I'm fairly sure, Abby will say yes."

Jimmy watched Tim's mothers eyes glaze slightly with unshed tears at the kindness shown.

"Thank you, Jimmy. That's very kind of you. It was very nice of you to round up more help for us, I have a feeling we're going to need it."

"No need to thank me, Ma'am. We're a team; I know I'm not as close to Tim as everyone else, but I still care about him. I know this has to be really hard on him, you know, Tony was like a brother to him. You couldn't miss the sibling rivalry they had going on." Jimmy said. A small smile played across his face at the memories of them both at work.

"Quite right, Jimmy." Ducky remarked as he made his way into the kitchen, pausing to notice the continental style breakfast and fresh coffee already laid out. "Did you do this, Mr. Palmer?"

"Yes, Doctor Mallard. I thought I'd do what I could to help here too, before going with Tim's parents to help them."

"Bless you, Jimmy." Ducky said with a smile on his face and patted Jimmy's shoulder in full appreciation of the simple act. Ducky turned to Tim's parents and was pleased to see them both standing there with coffees in their hands.

"Good morning." Ducky said gently. "How is young Timothy this morning?"

"We haven't checked on him, except to look in his room. He was still sleeping, so we decided to let him rest, right now, my boy needs all the rest he can get," Tim's father answered gravely. Seeing his son so vulnerable and emotionally fraught had shaken him down to the core. The sheer depth of his son's grief, along with the news that they'd almost lost him as well, had rocked his world off its' axis and, if the truth be told, it still felt unstable. Frankly, the only thing holding the senior McGee up and keeping him going was the necessity of being there for his wife and kids throughout this terrible situation. Ducky sipped at his own coffee and placed it down on the kitchen table with an empathetic nod.

"Well, I must go check on his wounds and change his bandages. I'll check his blood pressure and such to make sure there are no complications. I won't be long, but please, don't hold breakfast on my account." Ducky said as he headed down the hall to check on his young charge.

****************

Gibbs return to the waking world was slow and painful. He was lying sprawled on his bed, fully dressed, with no memory of actually making it to his bedroom the previous night at all. Instinctively he rolled over and reached for his watch to check the time but the movement seemed to act as a trigger and it all came crashing back to him; coming home last night to a quiet house; immediately seeking the sanctuary of his basement and his bourbon and despite a visit from someone, although at this moment, he couldn't remember who it had been; he'd managed to drink himself into oblivion. He vaguely remembered throwing something and the sound of shattering glass tinkled through his fragile mind. He remembered the crying, the deep wracking sobs. Wait! Had he really done that?

He knew he should get up, take a shower and eat something, but none of it sounded as though it was worth the effort. Instead, he got comfortable and tried to hurry his body back to sleep before the pain and the memories knocked on that emotional door. Just for now, for a short time anyway, he wanted to keep his broken world at bay. He tossed and turned for what seemed like hours, desperately searching for the escape of sleep, but with no avail. His mind finally cleared of the tormenting thoughts, at last, and he finally got up. He wasn't hungry, but that nagging voice inside his head was demanding that he eat something to counteract the nausea that lingered from the bourbon.

He felt as if he was having an out of body experience of sorts. Gibbs managed to force himself into the shower, allowing the hot beading water to sooth his stretched nerves and aching body. As he stood under the endless spray, his mind traveled off on a tangent on its own accord.

God hated him.

Gibbs felt it in his gut. Either that, or the man upstairs had a horrible sense of humor and this was just some sick twisted joke to snap him back in line. Never had he had such thoughts about God in all his life, with the exception of when other loved ones in his life had been taken harshly; Shannon, Kelly, Pacci, Kate, Paula, Jenny and even Langer and Lee. Each of their deaths was another nail in the coffin that held that truth;

God hated him.

He'd give anything to hear any one of those annoying little many movie lines Tony'd loved to spout throughout the years. Contrary to popular belief, Gibbs usually listened to everything that his team said to him. If they felt the need to say it, he listened, it was as simple as that; especially Tony. The most glaring rule he lived by, the one he religiously worked was rule number 42 – your team is your family – never take it for granted, well he had. He had taken the fact that his family wouldn't be broken; his family would always have Tony's sense of humor and movies lines to fall back on when they were down, the fact that he wouldn't be having this conversation with himself if it wasn't for that damn decision. All of it, was taken for granted and he wanted nothing more than to go back and let Tony know exactly how much he listened and would forever more, miss those damn little quotes. While the world at large saw Tony as irritating as hell, the boss accepted Tony for who he was; an acquired taste that he'd long since gotten used to.

People who knew them both had realized that Tony was ultimately a younger version of Gibbs. Even Ducky had commented on the fact that they seemed so alike a time or two. It didn't take a genius to see that the two of them had so much in common, that Gibbs obviously enjoyed being reminded of his younger self and had found someone he could fully relate to. Seldom did it escape the team's notice that Gibbs placed most of his trust and faith in Tony when it came to the casework.

It never mattered how much goofing off Tony did because, no matter what, he got his work done. Well, either that or he pawned it off on McGee effectively enough. Gibbs was okay with that and either way, it was a system that had worked brilliantly all these years. Tony had taken on the responsibility of training the Probie on his shoulders, so that Gibbs didn't need to expel any precious effort in that area. After all, that's what he had a Senior Field Agent for, that was DiNozzo's job.

It was often the case that Tony's seemingly crazy spouting, tended to be insightful and a perfect fit to the case they were workin', Tony's off the wall way of looking at the world had proved to be right on more than one occasion and was that refreshing breath of air that everyone needed. Gibbs shook his head, trying to clear the reminiscing thoughts from his mind. It was too painful to keep going here. Tony was gone and there was nothing he could do to bring him back. Damn it! Damn it to hell!

He turned off the shower and started to go through the motions of drying off and getting dressed, it was almost robotic and the movements ended up being stiff and uncaring. It didn't take him long before he descended the stairs to his kitchen where his mind and body seemed to switch onto auto-pilot, fixing a pot of coffee, rummaging through the refrigerator for something that he wasn't even aware he was looking for and didn't necessarily want. His hands wrapped around a store bought breakfast sandwich he'd tossed in there from the freezer the morning of the shooting and an overwhelming sense of sadness washed over him when he realized how truly alone he felt.

When this thought crashed through his mental fog, the few tears he had left somehow found their way out and flushed out of his body in steady rivulets. He dried his eyes on his sleeve; he stood up after releasing his grip on the sandwich and left it sitting in the fridge. He walked over to the large window and was soon engulfed by the all consuming fog; a world of mindlessness and blurred images, muffled only by his own self erected walls. The numbness prevailed as he remained oblivious to the world around him and his thoughts, once again, travelled where ever they wanted to, all on their own without any chance of Gibbs gaining control.

They had all seen Tony cheat death before. Gibbs had seen him do it countless times. Each time he'd scared the hell out of all of them, while seeming to thumb his nose up at the Angel of Death. It was all part and parcel of who Tony was; he was a risk taker, a dare-devil, even. He always seemed to beat the odds. The fact that he always came back from the experience smiling, was part of his charm.

He'd been the one to save Kate and McGee from that car bomb, just hours before Kate was killed in the line of duty. Tony had been the one to rescue him and Maddie from the water when Gibbs had stubbornly went after the thugs who'd kidnapped her, by himself. Even with his already compromised lungs, Tony had risked his life to save both of them. Yeah, he was definitely the risk taker of the team.

That was the reason why it just seemed so damn senseless to die from something as stupid as not waiting for backup. It was something a cocky rookie would do; something a 'green' agent would do in a bid to impress their boss. It wasn't the actions of a seasoned investigator; much less two of them. Tony knew better; hell they both did!

Yeah, the truth was, God really did hate him. How else could he rationalize Tony being taken from them this way? How else could he cope with the knowledge that Tony really was dead? His faith in the fact, that no matter what God would prevail, God would help, God was merciful, seemed to leak away in that realization.

God hated him.

Abby dragged herself out of her spot in Ziva's bed, Ziva had insisted on sleeping on the couch but Abby couldn't even think of going home because the last thing she wanted was to be alone. The thought of going home and looking at her coffin was too much seeing as the memories of Tony's casket were still too fresh in her mind and the intense emotions that the sight would stir would be too much for her to handle. The fact was, as soon as she did go home, she intended to hide it under several blankets so she wouldn't have to even think about it, much less see it.

She didn't seem to know what she was doing from one minute to the next, her mind was numb and her body moved on autopilot. Spending hours last night reminiscing about Tony, with Ziva, didn't seem to be magic answer it had seemed like at the time. The only thing Abby was only able to think of was her big brother, gone from her forever. At this, her knees buckled, and she fell back onto the bed in a heap with Tony and Tim's names playing on repeat in her head. She sobbed her heart out and felt as though her sorrow was endless, the very sorrow that was wrapped up with thoughts of both of her surrogate brothers.

Ziva struggled to force herself to get up off her couch when she woke up, today was a new day and it was with a deep sadness, that she remembered her promise last night. She had every intention of keeping that promise, though the task ahead daunted her more than she would ever readily admit. After all, the one thing that Ziva was, was reliable. Everyone on the team had fallen under that category. Until this happened.

Sighing heavily, Ziva forced her mind to stop focusing on the job she would do with little emotion, and went toward her bedroom to wake Abby because if Ziva was going to do this, then she needed Abby there, she needed the Goth to ground her. It didn't hurt that Abby had dated McGee and was, in all likelihood, already acquainted with his parents.

As she knocked on the door, Ziva couldn't help but hear her friend's sobbing coming from the other side of the door, she quickly entered and immediately went to Abby to try to provide some semblance of comfort. She sat down next to her and laid a hand on her shoulder.

"Abby. You must calm yourself. You will make yourself sick by going on in this way." Ziva chided her gently.

"I…can't….help…it." Abby managed to get out in between her tears, even as her sobs eased enough for her to say that one simple sentence.

"It is good for you to get it out, yes. But, do not make yourself sick about it. Abby, breathe." Ziva directed firmly whilst reaching over to grab the box of tissues on the bedside table.

Abby sat up and accepted the tissues from her friend. As she wiped the tears from her face, she took the opportunity to look Ziva over to see how she was doing. She didn't like what she saw and Ziva was trying to be here for her, so she would return the favor. Maybe if they found that middle ground for both of them then they could get through this together.

After several minutes of silence, filled only with the sounds of Abby blowing her nose and clearing her throat, Ziva forged ahead, unsure of how Abby would take what she needed to say.

"Jimmy called last night."

"Oh? Is everything okay? Is something wrong with Ducky? With Tim?" Abby was worried; she couldn't help it because it was in her nature to worry about the people who mattered to her.

"Abby. Please, calm yourself. He simply called to ask if we would help Mr. and Mrs. McGee pack up McGee's apartment. Apparently, he is moving out of it immediately. Jimmy said Ducky is taking care of McGee and is exhausted so he is in need of our assistance."

"Oh, no! Ziva, why would Tim give up his apartment? That can't be good!" Abby worried.

"He is injured and cannot care for his own injuries yet. Since he resigned, he has no job and given the circumstances of his resignation, he will most likely not be able to find another job anytime soon, he certainly will not be able to work until his injuries heal. It is understandable for him not to be able to afford his apartment." Ziva reasoned in an abrupt firm tone.

"You can't stay angry at him, Ziva. You heard Tony and I told you what Ducky said. Tim's a wreck and this has shattered him. We all know how much he always worried about hurting other people, he's always hated it when he thought he'd hurt someone's feelings. I can't even begin to imagine how he's feeling right now!" Abby defended her friend.

"Abby. I do not think I am ready to have this conversation right now. I would prefer that you come with me to do what is necessary. You have met the McGee's when you dated McGee, yes?" Ziva answered.

"No. But, I know for a fact that they know what happened when Tim and I broke things off, I know they probably hate me for hurting him." Abby replied sadly.

"Well, if they want our help, they are just going to have to deal with it." Ziva bit out.

"Ziva! None of this is their fault. Don't start attributing blame because it doesn't help at all." Abby told her defensively.

"I know this, Abby. I also know that I am only doing this to as a favor to Ducky and Jimmy. According to Jimmy, Ducky has his hands full taking care of the patient."

"I get it, Ziva. But, please, don't take this out on the McGee's!" Abby begged.

"I will not take it out on them. I promise." Ziva answered.

"Thank you." Abby answered gratefully.

*******************

The girls arrived at Tim's apartment an hour later just as Jimmy was just arriving with Tim's parents. As Jimmy made the introductions, everyone's mood immediately shifted from surprisingly friendly to warily angry. Seeing a major blow-up on the horizon, Jimmy quickly tried to ease the tension by turning Tim's stereo on and finding a station that they could all work to. He knew that for Tim's sake, Abby would silently tolerate it to keep the peace. With only the music playing on a normal noise level, the apartment was otherwise nerve-wrackingly quiet.

While his parents tackled Tim's bedroom and bathroom, Ziva and Abby tackled the kitchen and Jimmy got started on the massive book and record collection that adorned the shelves in the living room. Abby had wandered out and stood in the doorway watching Jimmy as the young man deliberated about the best way to tackle Tim's vast collection of literature and Jazz. If it was a more generic selections of music and books, then the whole lot would be boxed quickly, they all knew, however, that his collection was in parts rare and all in all, very important to Tim. Abby shook her head and stepped over to her friend.

"Jimmy, unless you're gonna write the whole list of every book and what crate you put them in, I suggest you just start at the beginning and work your way down." Abby said with a small smile of encouragement. Jimmy looked up and saw Abby watching him carefully; he smiled at her and pulled out the first book.

"Thanks, Abby." The look of relief and gratitude brought the first, genuine small smile from Abby since finding out about Tony. It was short lived when the door to the apartment opened.

"Hey! What are you all doing in Tim's apartment?" Sarah's angry voice carried to them from the apartment door where she stood in shock. She hadn't expected Tim's former co-workers to be here when she had headed over to help her parents. Sarah knew she shouldn't be angry with them and was taking her anger out on the people that Tim cared about, but she just couldn't help it. Since Tony's death, these people had literally turned their backs completely on her brother and right now, the rage she felt for them on Tim's behalf was all consuming. He loved these people like they were part of their family and they'd thrown him away.

"Hi, Sarah." Abby said quietly as she walked over to the younger girl. "We came to help."

"Why would you do that? You can't even show Tim an ounce of decency while he's falling apart but you can come help clean out his apartment? We don't need your help!"

"We just buried Tony, yesterday, Sarah! We haven't even had time to breathe, much less..."

Sarah shook her head and stormed over to Abbey, to the untrained eye, the Goth seemed to hold her ground, but her friends knew differently and Jimmy could just about make out the small tremors in her hands. Sarah was now standing in front of Abby with her finger pointed in her chest.

"A phone call! One measly little phone call! Would it have killed you to do that for him? You're supposed to be his friend."

"Sarah Elizabeth McGee! That is enough!" Mr. McGee's voice boomed through the apartment as he stood in the hallway and watched his daughter go off on his son's former coworkers.

"Dad, you know I'm right! It's not right!"

"Sara, come in here and talk to you mother. NOW!" Mr. McGee ordered.

"Yes, Sir." Sarah mumbled as she stomped past the other three and disappeared into Tim's bedroom.

"Abby, I think we should go." Ziva said as she set the glass in her hand down on the counter and headed toward the door. She knew this was a bad idea. They'd only been here an hour and already war had been declared. The sad part was the team who had lost a member hadn't even fired a shot.

"I am sorry about Sarah's outburst." Mr. McGee offered sadly. "She's angry and scared. She's never seen Tim like this. We haven't either. "

"Yes, but you do get to see him again, yes?" Ziva bit out as she stormed out in a quiet burst of speed driven by an anger so hot, she thought it would burn her alive.

"ZIVA!" Abby hollered with tears flowing down her face.

"Abby, calm down, Please." Jimmy asked her with worry.

"Jimmy, I can't just let her go like that!" Abby said sadly.

"I'll go find her. " The young man offered.

"No, I think she's right. I think we need to just go. Mr. McGee, I'm sorry. Obviously Sarah and Ziva are both too upset to be in the same room together. We're just gonna go, so you can finish this in peace."

"I thought you loved Tim!" Sarah accused loudly from behind Abby.

Abby turned around in surprise and saw Sarah standing in the doorway to Tim's bedroom with tears streaming down her face.

"I did. I do. We just wanted different things, Sarah." Abby tried to explain.

"I'm not talking about when you dumped him and broke his heart! I'm talking about as a friend who was at one time more than that to you!"

"He's my best friend, Sarah." Abby defended herself.

"Really? You sure have a funny way of showing'' it! How many times have you been to see him or even called to ask how he's doin?" Sarah pushed angrily.

"Sarah, I…" Abby stammered in tears.

"You need to leave. Now." Sarah bit out harshly.

"I know. We're leaving. Sarah, I'm sorry. We just came to help." Abby offered as she started walking towards the door, she paused when Sarah carried on with the pained diatribe.

"You wanna help? You wanna help my brother, try letting him know he's still worth something, cause right now, he doesn't think he's worth a damn to anybody; even himself! But, you know what? I bet you and Ziva, crap; even Gibbs doesn't even give a damn how he's doin! All any of you gave a damn about…all you wanted from my brother, was when he could do what you wanted him to do on your stupid cases and computers!" Sarah burst into tears and turned around, slamming the bedroom door behind her.

Soft murmurings filtered through the door and down the hall, as Mrs. McGee tried to work on calming her daughter's pain. Mr. McGee was obviously uncomfortable and busied himself fixing a pot of coffee for his wife. With Sarah's outburst baring the family's sense of abandonment, that very feeling that, up until now, was all they had witnessed by their son's former team, he had no idea what to say. He wouldn't apologize for what Sarah had said, this time his youngest child was right. She'd only spoken what her parents were too polite to say because they felt the same way she did. They'd been willing to set that aside, for Tim's sake and his former teammates had wanted to help, on his behalf; who were they to refuse?

Sarah had taken that decision away from them. But, her actions had come directly from the depths of her heart, the heart that was, at the moment, so full of pain and anger on her brother's behalf, that she obviously couldn't think straight, much less guard what came out of her mouth. The damage was done and there was no fixing it, at least, not until things calmed down for all involved. After all, there had been truth to Sarah's words. Maybe, it had needed to be said; it most definitely needed to be heard.

Seeing movement by the apartment door, Mr. McGee looked up to see Ziva standing there, with a closed off look on her face. Recalling Tim's description of Ziva's ingrained sense of keeping her feelings locked up tight; he could only imagine what she might really be thinking. Tim had only even brought it up when he'd been upset that he'd hurt her feelings about something and wanted advice about how to deal with it when he couldn't read her emotions, his poor Tim, his boy, was a sensitive soul which fed the sense of guilt he had felt over hurting this stoic woman's feelings. He'd told them, barely, with no detail, of how she'd stayed behind last summer, and how the team had had to go in and get her back. There had been no details, no names given, no mention of injuries or how it was done. It was simply, "she was a prisoner and we got her out."

That had been the end of the background information he'd shared before asking how to handle being certain not to hurt her feelings unknowingly. Looking at her now, it was hard to imagine that this woman even considered his son a friend, or even felt a glimmer of appreciation for anything his son had done for her.

Jimmy was shuffling his feet nervously at the exchange and watched Abby gently hedge further and further towards the door. He moved into the kitchen and cleared his throat.

"Uh, I er...I think we just all need some time, it's been a rough couple of weeks and……."

"I know Jimmy, trust me I do and I sympathize, but you have to understand that my boy survived this terrible situation and he needs us. Surely you can see that that is my main priority now."

Jimmy nodded sadly and glanced towards the living room.

"I understand, and will be there for Tim as a friend, but you also have to understand that we are grieving and that will take some time."

Tim's father paused what he was doing briefly to think over what Jimmy had said.

"It hurt's doesn't it?"

"Sir?"

"Losing someone, knowing that there was nothing you could do, it hurts?"

Jimmy nodded sadly. "Yes sir, it does."

"Then you'll understand when I say, that I can't lose my son and Tim is currently hell bent on curling up to die. He's not living Jimmy, he's existing. I want my boy back."

"Sir. I'll do what I can for Tim because I can't lose another friend either. Look, I'm going to go and make sure the girls get home alright. Can I…..can I come and sit with Tim tonight?"

Tim's father put down the coffee pot and patted Jimmy firmly on the back.

"Of course you can son; I'll let him know you are coming over."

Jimmy said his goodbyes and walked over to Abby, they headed out, propelling a silent Ziva with them as they went. It had been a genuine attempt; but one that had definitely gone horribly wrong. This is one thing that would have been better for them not to have even attempted, but all good intentions had left them feeling obliged to help. As a quiet Ziva and a still weeping Abby headed back to Ziva's place, Jimmy departed for Ducky's.

He'd have to break the news to Ducky and he was not looking forward to it at all. He could only hope that Ducky wouldn't get too horribly upset about the events that had transpired. His guilt started to consume him and the Autopsy Gremlin couldn't help but feel like he'd failed them; all of them, but most especially, Ducky, Tim and Tony.