Hip swayin', trouble makin', booty shakin', tripping, passing, jumping,
Bouncing, drivin', stylin', creeping, pouncing, shoutin', screamin'
Double dealin', rockin', rollin', and a reelin'
With the mackin' sex appealin'.
Can you dig our groovy feelin'?
Chilly Down by David Bowie
Chapter 14: Choosing Down
Amanda's hands flew up to shield her ears but it nothing to dull the terrible noise.
The sound went on and on, becoming impossibly louder. Her legs buckled under her and she curled around herself, her forehead pressed into the sand as if that might quiet the noise.
A hand touched her back and a tingle raced up her spine to her head. She moaned in relief as the noise receded to a dull roar. The pain too reduced. Now instead of feeling as if she was being stabbed, she merely had a thumping headache.
Tilting her head and cracking open one eye, she saw Adenkar knelt on one knee beside her. The surrounding air shimmered with electric currents of green and blue and gold.
Amanda lowered her hands and pressed up into a kneeling position. Her throat felt raw and she rubbed her it with one hand. She hadn't been aware of screaming. Though she wouldn't have heard it if she had.
Before, all she had been aware was the wave of deafening sound and the pain it induced. Now greatly muffled, the sound was like the cry of some beast.
/Wh-at is tha-t?/ she stammered around shaky breaths.
A small crease formed in Adenkar's forehead. He turned to gaze over the dunes towards the origin of the noise. Raising one eyebrow, he answered quietly, "It shouldn't be out here."
"What shouldn't be out there?"
The noise stopped at the moment, and the colours dissipated from the air a second later.
"Come," he replied, helping her to her feet. "This requires investigation."
"But, Adenkar, what -"
Between one blink and the next, their location changed leaving her disoriented and queasy.
Where were they now?
The wall stretched before them in a gentle curve for miles in either direction. The rubble and the broken section of wall had seemingly vanished. No, wait. There it was about a kilometer to her left.
Bearings gained, she more closely examined her immediate surroundings. They were now on the crest of a tall sand dune, several hundred meters back from the wall. This section of wall bore little of interest. All she could see was some type of vining plant growing near to the wall in an area of deep shadow.
"Adenkar why did you bring us here? At least at the gate, we had a chance of speaking to Sarek."
Adenkar released his hand from her shoulder and pointed towards the shadow. "Look there Amanda. Remember, not everything is as it seems to you. You must learn to see things for what they are."
Amanda stared into the shadow, trying to see if something resided within it. Even squinting her eyes against the bright sun, she was unable to see into the inky darkness.
She huffed. Why couldn't he just tell her. Turning to face him, she tried to keep the irritation from her voice. "I see vines in the shade."
Adenkar raised an eyebrow at her, silently bidding her to try again. She turned back to the wall.
"Not everything is as it seems," she muttered scanning the walls for a clue.
"Oh, the shadow has no source," she blurted out. Searching some more noticed the sun was directly overhead and there were no other shadows in view. "It's not a shadow at all."
"It is not a shadow," he agreed.
"Then what...oh."
The darkness was now punctured by two green luminescent crescents. The crescents grew larger, rounder, then blinked.
Eyes.
They were staring right at her.
"It's alive," she whispered as she locked gazes with the shadow creature.
"Not in of itself, but it an aspect of a living psyche," Adenkar clarified.
"A part of...that creature is a part of Sarek."
"Indeed it is. Unfortunately not a logical part that we might reason with."
Something clicked for Amanda. "That's his emotions," she asked, not needing the incline of Adenkar's head to confirm it.
Amanda's realisation had a profound effect on the shadow creature. Or perhaps her understanding changed her perception. Like a fuzzy image brought into focus, the outlines of the shadow sharpened, then details followed.
Tufted ears topped a long furry face with longs fangs protruding from the jowls. Large paws laid out before it, though much of its body was tangled in the reddish vines. The creature seemed somewhat bear-like and somewhat cat or dog-like, though none of those descriptions was right.
She had seen an animal like this before…ah yes, the Outback animal reserve in Australia. Sarek had taken her to see the sehlats there after she expressed curiosity in his childhood pet.
There were significant differences. It's fur was far darker coloured, a shade of blue-black like Sarek's hair. Not the browns and mottled reds she had seen. And its eyes...its eyes took up significantly more of its face and shone like pale green jewels with no discernible pupils.
If the distance wasn't playing tricks on her it was larger, half again the size of the biggest she had seen. And the ones she had seen before had not been small.
"If it is part of Sarek, why does it look like a sehlat?" she finally asked.
"Because that is the form it has chosen. It may hold some significance, as it is common for Vulcans to refer to their emotions as, 'the Beast'. Now that you can observe it, we may attempt interaction. I am curious to see how it reacts to you."
Adenkar began to walk towards the creature, but Amanda hesitated. "Isn't it dangerous," she questioned. "This is what made that sound before?"
"It is very dangerous," Adenkar agreed. "The psychic cry is one of its lesser attacks. However, it is currently constrained, which limits its ability."
Amanda hesitated. What if this part of Sarek didn't know her either, would it try to harm her, or drag her away from the wall, what if -
'I am well able to protect us if needed," Adenkar informed her interrupting her ruminations. "Come, we cannot misuse our time."
Drawing in a deep breath, Amanda calmed herself and nodded. She had come to help Sarek, and the Beast...the Beast was apparently part of him. Turning away was not an option.
Getting down to the wall required a steep descent down the sand dune. Adenkar had walked down the slope rapidly, his boots leaving not so much as a footprint behind. She attempted to follow in kind and nearly overbalanced as the sand slipped under her feet.
Resorting to shuffling down sideways, her sandals sank into the soft, hot sand. The floaty dress tangled around her legs tripping her. Falling face first, she braced herself with her arms. Momentum sent her forward and she tumbled rapidly down the slope, a sharp cry drawn from her lips as she picked up speed.
This was really not her day.
Landing with a jolt face down, she wondered at the likelihood that no one had witnessed her graceless descent. Lifting her head she saw she had managed to land right at Adenkar's feet. His left eyebrow was raised higher than she had ever seen it. Heat flooded her cheeks.
Her body responded stiffly as she pushed herself up to stand. As she brushed off the sand, she wondered if she would have bruises later. Fortunately, she had not tumbled right into the wall, or worse, the Beast. That could have been far more damaging.
The wall was only a dozen paces away. The Beast stared at her in what she could only describe as amusement. The creature bore a smirking grin.
Her whole body felt hotter, as irritation joined the embarrassment. "Great way to make a first impression," she muttered under her breath.
Adenkar looked at her curiously but said nothing, merely indicating towards the Beast with his hand.
As they began towards it, the smirk on the Beast's face changed to a snarl. A few steps more and it began a howl of an unpleasant volume. Amanda feared it would again use the psychic scream.
She had had enough of this.
"Kroykah!," she yelled, anger propelling her to within an arm length of the huge creature. "That is no way to treat someone who is trying to help you."
The Beast halted in mid cry as if stunned into silence. Its jaws yet hung open giving it an appearance of astonishment. It looked rather comical now and she chuckled softly, her anger fading as quickly as it had come.
"Don't you want to be free?" she asked more gently.
The Beast jaws shut with an audible snap followed by a plaintive whine.
The sound stirred a new emotion deep within her and her fear of him diminished. Kneeling before him, she brought her eyes level with his. She stared into them for a long minute, watching phosphorescence swirl in them in an almost hypnotic fashion.
"Sarek," she murmured, "Do you know me?" When he made no response she sighed and shook her head sadly. "No, I suppose you wouldn't if the one at the gate didn't."
Looking up, she found the Beast was still regarding her closely, perhaps trying to work out what manner of creature was before him. As he seemed to be remaining calm in her presence, she took the chance to examine him closely as well.
While his head was free, his paws and sides were wrapped around with mahogany coloured suckering vines. What was visible of his body midst the tangle of vines was covered in long gashes and scratches. Blood, dried green-black, mattered in the fur. In places it oozed emerald from the deeper cuts. The longest slash ran along his lower jaw and down his neck.
"You have been hurt," she murmured, and tears pricked her eyes. "Oh, my love."
The Beast sniffed the air deeply. An expression of recognition flashed over his face. He strained towards her, his long whiskers tickling against her arm. When his bonds would not allow him closer, he let out a desperate cry.
Raising one hand where he could see it, she tentatively reached towards him. When he did not snap or snarl at her, but instead whined like a dog that desperately wanted attention, she lightly pressed her palm on the side of his face.
The Beast pushed his muzzle into her hand. A familiar electric pulse raced up her arm.
"Oh," she breathed as she felt again the hum of his mind.
Ultimately, no words or images were shared. Nor were they needed. The rush of emotions, hers and his mingling together, told her everything she needed to know.
He knew her, recognising her by the love she bore for him and that which he bore for her.
Sarek had shown her glimpses of his feelings before. Now, unconstrained by control, untempered by logic, nothing of what he felt was held back.
All consuming, needing, possessive, unreasonable and undeniably alien, yet it was unmistakably love. Amanda delighted in the sensations, even as they threatened to overwhelm her.
Even if he never told her, never again showed her, she could never again doubt how much he loved her.
Laughing and crying, she leant her head against the Beast and buried her face in his fur. "I love you too."
The Beast responded with a low rumbling purr.
"Well done, Amanda. I did not anticipate such a positive reception."
"Ahh," she shrieked, jerking away from the Beast and landing on her butt with a thump and an exhaled, 'Oof.'
Without touch, the fragile connection between her and Sarek wavered. Her hand clutched to her racing heart, she held her breath as if that might prevent the tenuous link from breaking. It weakened but held.
Folding her arms, she turned and glared at Adenkar. The Beast responded in kind, shifted his head and growling.
"Enough of that," she said to the Beast, laying her hand on the bridge of its nose. As the connection between them sharpened, the growling stopped, though his eyes were still narrowed and focused on Adenkar.
"Adenkar is a friend and a Healer. He is probably going to be better at removing those vines than I am. But I will agree he has terrible timing."
"My timing is excellent," Adenkar corrected her. "I can tell you precisely to the nanosecond how much time -"
"Adenkar," Amanda interrupted with exasperation. "Just get over here and help will you."
The phosphor swirls in the Beast eyes went from clockwise to anticlockwise as Adenkar moved to his side, but he did not make any overt sign of aggression.
As his distrust of Adenkar filtered through her, she sent reassurance back. "It will be alright," she soothed, stroking the top of his head. The Beast twitched under her hand as Adenkar tugged one of the vines free.
"I would advise you to avoid all contact with these mind tendrils, Amanda," Adenkar warned.
"Mind tendrils?"
"Essentially, they are the telepathic extension of the Vulcan mind. They act as a conduit to share thoughts and memories. Tightly focused they can be used as a probe, like a Healer's scan of a patient. Widely expanded and deeply sent, they connect the two minds in the meld. These, however," Adenkar paused as Sarek often did when he needed to an extra measure of control.
"These," he continued gesturing towards the vines, "Have been weaponised. Not only were they used to attack and constrain but they also are parasitic, drawing energy from their victim to sustain themselves. If there are others in Sarek's mind, the damage they could cause would be catastrophic "
Adenkar shuddered and closed his eyes tightly. The tight pinch to his brow made him look pained. He let out a long breath and his face smoothed.
"Can you remove them?" Amanda asked with concern.
"I can remove these. However, the tendrils are sunk into the essence of the emotional aspect. Removing them will be difficult and painful. If it struggles, I could cause further harm to it either while removing the tendrils or by needing to constrain him myself."
"I will keep him calm, Adenkar. Just get those things off him please."
"Previously, I would have questioned how you might accomplish this. Your own ability to control emotions is extremely limited," Adenkar said as he drew out a laser scalpel. "However, having seen all that you have accomplished today, I do not doubt you will find a way to achieve this as well."
Adenkar was correct, she realised. She could not control this creature against its will. It was too much of a wild thing. However, contrary to what Adenkar had said earlier, she didn't think it entirely without reason.
"Well for a start, I plan to ask him if he will allow it. If he agrees he's more likely to be helpful and I think enough has been done here without permission."
Adenkar met her eyes. "You may be overestimating its ability to comprehend the situation."
"Perhaps, but will it hurt to ask?"
Adenkar looked thoughtful. "No, you are quite correct. It is preferable to have consent even if it does not change the outcome."
Amanda turned her attention back to the Beast. "Did you understand what was said?" Running her hand up slowly to his temple, she sent her meaning and feelings along with her words. "Do you accept to free you there will be pain? You will need to stay as still as possible to avoid worse injury."
"Mrrrawaaarrr," The Beast agreed, sending a longing to be free to Amanda.
"Begin please Adenkar, we have his consent."
The laser scalpel glowed red and Adenkar sliced through the tendril he was holding. The severed end curled up then faded into nothingness. Adenkar repeated the process dozens of times, pulling away various lengths of tendrils, slicing the end closest to the Beast, crushing it till it faded, then moving to the next.
The Beast twitched occasionally under Amanda's hand but otherwise did not react.
The process revealed more injuries. In addition to cuts and deep gashes, in some places fur was missing. On one side he appeared burnt as if he had fit a force field. Worst of all though was the remaining tendrils that pierced his skin.
"Removing the root will be more difficult," Adenkar advised as he shut off the laser and returned the scalpel to the bag. He drew out a metal tool that looked somewhere between forceps and pliers. Clamping onto one of the protruding ends he forewarned, "Prepare yourself," and pulled.
The Beast yelped and jerked as two inches of tapering tendril came out with a long sucking noise and a rush of blood. The tendril writhed as if trying to burrow back into the flesh. Adenkar held it well away from the Beast and squeezed. Sap, the colour of the Beasts dried blood, oozed out around the pliers. The tendril stilled, faded and then was suddenly gone. The pliers snapped shut with a click.
Adenkar touched the area around the puncture wound and the blood flow stopped. When he removed his hand, a scab was evident underneath. "There are another eight remaining."
The Beast, now mostly free of the tendrils, turned his head around to glare at Adenkar.
Adenkar gazed back, seemingly unconcerned. "These are not regular mind tendrils Beast; they will not simply fade. If they are not removed, the wounds will never heal. Moreover, I suspect they will eventually grow back, draining your own strength to ensnare you."
"They need to come out," Amanda said gently. The Beast turned back to her, and she rubbed behind his ears. "I know it hurts but it will be better once they are gone."
The Beast made a sound somewhere between a bear's growl and a dog's whine. It lay its head down between its paws, seemingly resigned to its fate.
As Adenkar pulled another tendril, the Beasts tufted tail thumped on the ground and its claws extended from their sheaves. During the pulling of the third, his paws clenched and the claws sunk into the sand.
Adenkar walked around to the other side of the Beast to reach the others. Amidst the fourth, a ragged purr started. It was from contentment as before, but a means of self-comfort during stress. Stroking his head, she sent as much love and reassurance through her touch as she could.
Adenkar had trouble with the fifth and got to his feet to get more leverage. As he continued to pull, the purr changed to a cry of pain. "Nearly there," Amanda whispered to the Beast, hoping it was true.
More and more of the tendril pulled out, nearly a foot of tapering root in all, before it came free with an awful sucking pop.
It writhed like a live snake in Adenkar's grip and he held it away from both himself and the Beast. It continued to struggle violently towards the Beast and Adenkar ran several meters away to prevent from burrowing back into the skin. Unable to crush it as he had the shorter pieces, he resorted to throwing it at the wall.
There was a bright flash of light as it hit. Amanda's perception of the shield changed from one of sandstone wall to an opaque force field as the tendril was incinerated. She was glad at that moment she had not touched the shield. It was clearly not what it had seemed at first to her.
The cries stopped suddenly and Amanda whipped her head back around. The Beast lay still, eyes closed. Unconscious, for his sides, still rose and fell, but the ground was already soaked with his blood.
"Adenkar, the wound," she cried, though Adenkar was already racing back.
He grabbed an electronic device from belt as he knelt down. It emitted a soft hum as he passed it over the wound.
Amanda bit her lip as she tried not to cry. She could not lose him. She could not.
The wound slowly, so slowly, began to close. First, the blood stopped flowing, then a scab formed, then eventually that lifted showing a scar underneath. Adenkar switched off the device and stowed it.
"He'll live Amanda, though I think he will always bear that scar. I'll remove the remaining tendrils now while he is less likely to feel them, then I will bring him back to consciousness."
Amanda nodded, not trusting herself to speak.
The remaining tendrils were all less than an inch long. They were quickly removed and disposed of. Adenkar took some time to heal all the punctures and the major gashes before coming up kneel beside Amanda. Reaching out with his hand, he placed one on the temple and one under the chin. He closed his eyes.
For a minute nothing happened, then both of their eyes snapped open together. Adenkar removed his hand as the Beast struggled to its feet. Amanda sagged in relief.
The Beast towered over her kneeling form, its humped back swaying in his clear exhaustion.
"Perhaps you should rest now," Amanda said to the Beast. Rising to her feet she stood by his side and lifted her hand to his shoulder. He brushed his head against her body, nearly knocking her back to the ground.
"Normally, I would concur with that recommendation," Adenkar said as he took up a position at the other shoulder of the Beast. "However, he shared his memories of what occurred out here. T'Rel took something important from behind the shield and buried it out here were Sarek was unlikely to find it. The emotional aspect is certain of its importance and from what I have witnessed of her work here, she seems to have a desire to cause ongoing harm. I believe it requires immediate attention. The emotional aspect could not relay the precise location but he believes he can find the spot once we are close. I'll take us to the general location."
The scenery lurched and shifted, and for the third time that day she found herself disorientated in a totally new place than where she had stood before. This time her head spun, and she leant against the side of the Beast to avoid a stumble.
The three of them stood on a flat plain of sand, the flatness disturbed only by the occasional rock. The wall was but a haze on the horizon. The Beast lowered his head and began to sniff the ground. They walked beside him in ever widening circles, till his sniffing changed to a loud snuffling. Tail raised, he raced along in a straight line with nose to the ground. Adenkar kept up with him, but Amanda was left behind even at a run.
She was panting by the time she caught up to them. The Beast was now digging in the sand with his front paws.
The spot looked no different from any other to her, apart from the growing pile of excavated sand. Adenkar stood at the lip of the hollow but Amanda stood a little back so she wasn't hit by flying sand.
The hollow was soon a meter deep, then two. "Can you tell if anything is down there?" she asked Adenkar.
"I sense a difference in mindscape nearby, but I cannot say what or where precisely."
"Look," Amanda said pointing to the edge of the hollow nearest them. The sand was sinking there as if draining from an hourglass. The Beast moved over to the sinking sand, snuffling. It intensified its digging on that spot, sand sent flying to the other side of the hollow.
A hole appeared, first tiny, but the edges eroded rapidly. Suddenly, a large area caved in. The Beast fell with it vanishing from sight.
Though Adenkar took a step back, it was not enough. He too slid into the widening hole a moment later, and a long rushing followed as the pile of sand followed after.
Standing further back, Amanda managed to stumble away. Falling as the edge crumbled under her, she crawled backwards using her arms as much as her legs. She backed into a rock and knocked the breath out of herself.
Heart pounding in her chest, unable to get enough air, she knew she could not recover in time to get away. The sand slid away from her feet. Clinging to the rock desperately, she felt herself begin to tilt downwards. She closed her eyes tightly.
The sound of shifting sand faded and silence descended. Finally, her lungs began to work again, and she opened her eyes to examine her predicament. Her body hung part way down a large funnel of sand. At its centre was a black void.
"Sarek, Adenkar," she shouted.
There was no reply.
They had to be okay. She could still sense Sarek.
Of course, her traitorous brain reminded her, the Beast was only part of Sarek. And of Adenkar she could sense nothing at all. Wasn't he supposed to be in her head too?
No, they were both alive, she wouldn't believe otherwise. She called again, but again there was no answer.
Using the rock, she managed to pull herself up a little way. Then the sand slid under her, and she was again hanging by her arms. Looking up, she saw that even if she could get to the rock, she would never get out of the funnel which extended well beyond her anchor. It was simply too steep.
Besides which, her friends were not up there but down.
Looking to where her feet pointed, she made her choice and let go.
Rapidly, she slid down to the centre of the sand funnel, sand grating on her legs. Then there was nothing beneath her and she fell straight down into blackness.
Too late, she regretted her decision. Despite her best intentions, she screamed.
Sorry, this took so long. I found this chapter difficult to write for several reasons.
First the interaction between Amanda and the Beast. I couldn't decide exactly how he would relate to her. This is not the first version of what happened, more like the tenth. I've written parts of it from Adenkar or the Beasts perspective in those drafts but Amanda had the finally say and she wanted a moment of happiness in the story.
Another reason for the delay was that I simply didn't have a lot of time or energy in which to write. For a time I was forced to put it aside. Yet wanting to get this done, I recently started to write at least a little each day. I grabbed 15-minute chunks of time, then as I got back into it became hours, including a 7-hour stint this Saturday. I am definitely not a fast writer, but I feel it turned out well in the end. Now I've got to see how much I can get done in the next few weeks. It's still my goal to wrap this by the end of the year if possible.
Hope you enjoyed, next chapter is the oubliette and should involve more of the characters. I have a good idea of that chapter, so fingers crossed it comes easily.