A/N: god, i don't know.. My life is quite a mess and I'm deadly tired every night. Don't leave me yet, i'm doing small timejumps here and there so the time will pass but my brain won't cooperate on writing and stuff, sadly! But i've got started on 15, but i want it LONG! so it can take a week, but thats fine right?
ANyways, read and review, and i'll love you deeeeeply!

Meredith shut her alarm off; she didn't want to go up. She wanted to wake up in Dereks embrace, feel his kisses in her neck and even his disgusting morning breath as she turned around.
She took her time, she brushed her teeth and ate a good breakfast, and decided to visit Derek as she headed out in Seattle for shopping for their baby, her baby, his baby, her daughter, his daughter, their child. She knew she had a lot to make up for, and she knew her first stop. As she got dressed for the day, she stood still in front of the mirror, noticing a new thing. Her belly wasn't flat, it was rounded, she had popped, people could see that she was pregnant if she wore tight clothes and her face lit up in an enormous smile. She was pregnant, she was going to have a baby, with the love of her life. She couldn't do anything but smile.

She drove by the store where she saw the perfect make up gift, an onsie that said World's best daddy, and she knew that was it. She bought it as she drove to the hospital, and she walked through the doors and headed to the elevators, not knowing she had yet to find out that Derek had left.
As she reached the surgical floor she passed the board, noticing Derek didn't was in surgery and she turned to his office, and simply knocking on the door as she reached it, but with no answer she became slightly confused. Behind her Cristina came by, and she inhaled deeply as she saw her.
"Mer…" Cristina said in a shaky voice.
"What?" Mer scoffed as she turned to her best friend.
"Derek.. took off" She choked out with a sympathetic smile.
"HE DID WHAT?" Mer screamed, her eyes stinged with tears and her mouth wide open in shock.
"He's gone.. We don't know when he comes back" Cristina mumbled quietly.
Mer looked at her as Addison walked by, overhearing their conversation.
"Sorry to interrupt.. " She mumbled, holding a hand to her stomach, a habit both she and Mer had picked up the past weeks.
"what?" Cristina growled.
"Cris, I need to talk to her.. " Mer mumbled.
Cristina shook her head in disrespect but left them as her pager suddenly went off.
"Addison" Mer mumbled before turning to her, and leaning into her open arms.
Addison hugged her lightly, soothing her as she felt Mer sob into her chest.
"He's going to come back.. If he's smart" She whispered, trying to give her comfort.

As Mer was comforted Derek was walking down the block, and opening the door to his mother's house.
"Mom?" He yelled through the door and suddenly the hall was crowded, apparently his nieces and nephews was set in there instead of daycare. He sighed to himself as he noticed his mother in the back.
"Derek" She greeted him with a warm smile. "Where's Meredith?"
"We….. broke up" He whispered as he reached her embrace and he felt safe in her arms. He had never been a mother's boy, but he needed a hug and he felt safe for once.
"What?" Carolyn exhaled before she shoved the children into the living room leaving the oldest in care and then pushed Derek into the kitchen.
"What happened?" She mumbled.
"We had a fight, then another one and it just kept on and it ended with her telling me she didn't want me in our daughters life" He sighed, his eyes were blanch and he was close to tears, nothing that happened very often.
Carolyn just hugged her son, "It's going to be alright.. I promise" She assured him, even though deep inside she knew he screwed up badly and she was filled with fear and doubt that it wouldn't be fixable.
"Where do you stay?" she asked him, changing the subject.
"Addie's and my old apartment, she lent it to me" He said.
"But you gave that to her in the divorce and she moved to Seattle?" The confusion vas obvious for Carolyn.
"She didn't sell it, I asked cause I need space and she told me the key were where it always been and so on" He tried to smile but his attempt was unsuccessful.
"Oh my poor boy" Carolyn shook her head.

Meredith walked with Addie through the surgical wing, they headed up to OB and Addie's office to Mers despise.
"Addison?" Mer tried but Addie just pushed her forward.
She quickly opened the door to her office, pushing Mer down in the sofa and took place in the armchair.
"Meredith, we have a LOT to talk about." Addison mumbled.
Mers eyes widened, "You kidded me? You are having Dereks child to?" Mer gulped.
"No, No, No, No" Addison laughed as she watched Mers expression.
"I'm atleast one week shorter into my pregnancy then you are, and by that time Derek found me in bed with Mark, the same day you found your panties on the bulletin board" Addison laughed at the memory, now afterwards she had to realize it was meant to happened, she was supposed to be with Mark and Derek should be with Meredith, the affair she had have with Mark had been the best thing for both of them.
Meredith slowly closed her mouth; she had literally dropped her jaw and been sitting and looking at Addison for a short 5 minutes with her mouth open listening to what she had said. All those times she had yelled at Derek the past days for blaming him for loving Addison and well Marks kid more than theirs. She felt the tears spill over her eyelids and she sobbed silently as Addison embraced her, soothing her softly.
"It's going to be okay Meredith, I promise" She whispered, time after time.
"I.. He… He must hate me" Mer sobbed, as she hid her face in her hands, "I didn't even listen to him, he said it a billion times but I always said that it was.. Oh my god, what am I supposed to do?"
Addison shook her head, her lips curling up in a faded smile as she listened to Meredith.
"Oh, Meredith… It's going to be okay" her soft calm voice was more than wonders to Meredith.
How much she must love him, I will kick his sorry ass… Addison groaned as she thought of the pain the man put his pregnant girlfriend through.
"Addison?" Mer finally said.
"Yes?"
"How far along are you?" Mer knew she needed a sure answer.
"almost 15 weeks, you are hitting 16 today aren't you?" Addison was confident, but she knew what Derek would say, A scared deer in the woods.
"I am.. I wish Derek was here.. " She mumbled.
"Meredith, calm down.. We can talk about our pregnancies instead!" Addison gave a slight smile.
"yeah… " Mer hesitated, but shrugged.
"Have you popped yet?" Addison smiled at the tiny frame that rose from her lap; she never thought the girl would be comfortable in her arms, neither that she would be comfortable to have her there.
She watched Meredith, her dirty blonde hair, her petite frame, her tiny body and her glowing spirit and suddenly she understood that Derek had fallen in love with that girl, she was amazing and Derek had surely fell in love, real love, love of his life – love with this girl and she understood that he had.
Mer giggled slightly at Addisons question.
"Yes, I have" She smiled as she lifted her top just as much for Addison to get a glimpse of what she had discovered the same morning.
Addison laughed at Meredith excitement, she didn't think that the small girl would show that late, she was already 4 months in and had just popped, she should had popped weeks ago, but Addison just shrugged and smiled, shoving the thoughts aside.
"When are you due?" Mer mumbled as she looked at Addison.
"October 12th a little more than a week after you" Addison shrugged as her phone beeped.
Hey Ads, thanks for the apartment. Diamonds worth not to stay at moms. Can u look after Mer? I mean, I love her and all but don't tell her where I am, just look after her, kay? Can't really deal with her right now, /Der
She scoffed at Dereks message as she smiled at Mer.
"Aren't you off today? Or well it's already 4 p.m but yeah"
"I am, I was supposed to talk to…. " She trailed off as she saw the expression on Addisons face.
"Ohh" Was all her response was as she grabbed her cell.
Derek Christopher Shepherd….. She's in the hospital, ON HER DAY OFF for your sake. DAMN GET YOUR SORRY ASS BACK HERE. Yes, m txt yellin at u! well, see u in 2 then. I won't tell her./Addie

Derek choked as he read Addisons message. She had been there to talk to him and he wasn't there. He inhaled deeply as he sat down on his mothers couch and stared out of the window. He couldn't go back yet, he needed space and she did to. What could happen during the two weeks he was gone. Oh he wished he knew just then, but he didn't so what was there but doubt and disbelief that Meredith would do anything.
"Derbear" His mom suddenly yelled from the kitchen.
"Ma?" He answered in a breath.
"Get here and help me, if you want food you'd better help" She laughed as he ran through the doors.
"MOM" He squealed "Seriously. You make the best food.. " He added.
"Set the table, Kathleen's coming"
"MOM.. no, I don't want to be analyzed" He groaned
"You won't"
"Yeah, right.. Cause Kath wont when I'm alone and just got dumped by my pregnant girlfriend"
"YOU GOT DUMPED?" Kathleen's voice broke through the door as she entered the kitchen.
Derek shot his mother a look as he turned around.
"Yeah" He nodded, as he got pulled into a hug by his sister.
"Lucky I got here without the kids and Tomas then" She smiled as she pulled out and walked over to hug their mom.
"KATHLEEN.." Carolyn sighed, "Don't psycho analyze him, he don't need it"
Kathleen shrugged quickly.
"Where's the food. I'm Starving"
"So am I" Carolyn countered
Derek sighed as he took the plates and set the table quickly.
"So, if the food is done we can eat" He mumbled as he walked back into the kitchen to find his mom and sister whispering to eachother.
"And please, if you're talking, please talk loud I need to be involved" He mumbled suddenly.
"Gee Der, thanks for the confidence" Both Kathleen and Carolyn said at the same time.
They all sat down and ate in silence and as they finished desert, Kathleen mumbled something about kids and took off.
"I should to" Derek mumbled, going back to the apartment didn't tempt him at all anymore.
"No stay here Derbear, You can sleep in your old room. Don't stay there in that lonely place" His mother smiled as they walked out to the kitchen.
"Thanks ma" He mumbled "I'm off to bed now, I'm still Jetlagged." He shrugged as he walked up to bed.

A/N: I love reviews, and it's coming.. just hang in there! (and i would NEVER write anything but merder sexscenes! just sayin, but yeah you will be slightly confused) anyways, REVIEW

chapter 15. Preview

She poked at him to wake him up and smiled.
"Morning, I'm going to take a shower and when I get back you won't be here.." She mumbled, thinking of the first time she used those words, a year ago, how much that had changed.
"So goodbye, ehm…"
"Philip"
"Oh, Goodbye Philip"