"How can this be? My god! You're alive! I thought I lost you..." – Ai Angel(4)
"the muffins! Stop! The muffi—" – awaken. the. dawn. (1)
"I love you, Toshiro Hitsugaya." – larkinlover(2)
"What the... but you said... he didn't do..." – Traitor-Hero(5)
Why are you doing this? What is the use, what is the purpose? Why? TELL ME!' – SunsetRainbow(3)
To Lie In the Rain
"Captain! Captain, wait up!" Matsumoto ran after her captain when the meeting was adjourned, huffing breathlessly. He turned to her with indifference gracing every feature.
"What is it, Matsumoto?" Hitsugaya asked.
She felt her knees weaken at such a gaze. It was much colder a stare than anything he had directed at her before. They collapsed under her and banged together, while her upper body slouched over and her hands grabbed her knees to make sure she didn't give way and fall. Her head dropped. "Why, captain?" she breathlessly whispered.
"Why what? You need to explain yourself more fully than that, lieutenant." She flinched. He almost never referred to her by her title. He sounded somehow more distant than she had ever felt him be before. However…
"Why did you volunteer to go to Hueco Mundo?!" Matsumoto's head snapped up painfully as she spoke, but she didn't care about the nasty crick in her neck at the moment. "Why? She's obviously going to be there, and considering how she escaped from you last time because you hesitated, how will you fight her now?!" Hitsugaya, until that moment, had been watching her closely with a level gaze. He turned away, flinching slightly, when she uttered "escaped".
A lump formed in her throat as she realized the implications. He had lied to them.
"I will see you in the office in an hour, Matsumoto," he disappeared from her sight after that. She understood. He had lied, but he would tell her the truth because he understood the pain of not knowing the motives of someone you cared about.
The hour passed, and she found herself sitting on her favourite couch, listening to Hitsugaya's pen scratch on paper as he completed the work. Her back was to him due to the way the couch was set up. It was better for them both this way. Matsumoto didn't need to show her sad eyes, and Hitsugaya could protect his heart by hiding it from his voice.
The pen never stopped, but the silence did. "I did lie that she had escaped from me. I had captured her and brought her back to the Seireitei, but I could not restrain her, as you might understand."
Her fists clenched her hakama. "I cannot say that I do understand, captain."
He didn't answer at first. Even when he did, he was hesitating. "They look the same. Please don't make me explain myself further."
It took a moment for her to realize she was being asked a question. Softly, she replied, "I'm sorry."
The pen stopped moving. "You know, it's not just her face." He swallowed. "Her voice, the way she carries herself, her behaviour to some degree…" The pen dropped to the desk in a clatter. "The way they're the same…every time I spot another similarity, I just…I can't help it, no matter what…." He groaned, the sound muffled somewhat. His hands were probably covering his face, she presumed. "It's…its no good. I'm no good."
"You are good, but I do agree that it never is any good, captain," she spoke in a sad voice. "Have you two been communicating the whole time since…?"
Another intermission filled the air. "Yes. We have."
She shrugged, so he could see it. "That's fine I guess. What were you talking about, though?"
"We had…no, we have a similar objective." She nodded her head in encouragement and squirmed in her seat. She had a feeling what it was. "We wanted to bring Hinamori back." She wore a big smile on her face, though he could not see it. She knew it.
"That's really amazing," she relaxed in her cushion as her eyes fluttered closed. "Getting Hinamori-chan back would be the best thing ever. No! Wait!" She sat up straight again, eyes sparkling. "Having Hinamori-chan and Orihime-chan back would be the best thing ever! Did she ever mention Orihime-chan during your chit-chats?" She clapped her hands together in delight.
"Once. She said she was going to take Inoue with her when she left." Matsumoto didn't know what emotion was behind Hitsugaya's voice, but it didn't seem to be a necessarily bad one.
"Wow! That's terrific! A two-in-one package! We've not had one of those in ages!"
"Don't talk about them like they are merchandise! Especially…" She fell silent again. The pen went scritch – scratch again.
He didn't need to hear her apology to know she was saying it.
--
The crash and splintering of wood alerted Hina he had now destroyed the desk.
She had carefully erected wards so he could not escape while she stood guard at the door, not minding the odd looks wandering Arrancar sent her. They scurried fast enough when a roar erupted from Ichigo's throat behind the door. It was actually kind of funny. She would laugh, but considering Ichigo's state of mind, he might see it as a challenge from an unseen foe and become more frantic, no matter how hard it was to imagine it being any worse. The feelings of confusion, pain, and a sense of loss so great it tears you apart…that is the hurt all hollows must bear. Even Espada.
Nails screeched at the door, a low whiney making it way out of Ichigo's throat. Pity swelled within Hina, but she did her best to convince herself that he was fine. He was just lonely. He was just as alone as she was. It bothered her, that the only thing separating them was the thick door. She longed, no, her body ached to open it and hold him.
She couldn't.
She was supposed to love Hitsugaya! If the sealing failed, she had sworn she would love Hitsugaya and set the pretence of Momo Hinamori. But now, she wasn't so sure. As an Arrancar, she had met countless Hollows, a lot of them like Hitsugaya. So many, in fact, the personality started to get on her remaining nerves. Ichigo on the other hand was different. He could be cold, loud and all around rude. There was a nice side to him as well. He could be gentle when he wants to and he sincerely cares about his friends. Nevertheless, Hitsugaya could also…no. Not like Ichigo. Hitsugaya looked upon the rules more so than anyone would ever admit. No. More than he himself would admit.
Ichigo was a free spirit, chained only by himself to his body that tears him apart as the hollow hole within him grows by the second.
It was wrong and unnatural. Just like her existence.
She needed to say it aloud however, or else she could never be sure if it could be done. "I love you, Toshiro Hitsugaya" (1). Her stomach lurched painfully, hot bile rising to her throat. She swallowed it down again, disgust reeling in her senses. Her face heated up and she allowed it to droop suddenly, pressing her hand to her forehead. She had a headache again.
The whining stopped and all was still.
--
"The muffins! Stop! The muffi-" (2), try as she might, Lilienette had to choke down another one of Orihime's muffins she fed to the younger girl. It was punishment for the Arrancar's foul mouth, and worse yet Stark was enjoying every moment of it.
He was pinning her arms down, a slightly foolish grin on his face. She struggled, tears threatening to fall down her face. She knew she deserved every moment of it for all the cruel ways she woke him up, but this was ridiculous! This was torture! The kind humans would be proud of! That bastard sadist!!
"Let me go! You'll regret this! I will eat your soul, girl, if you don't stop!!" Lilienette knew it couldn't possibly work, but she had to try. Orihime paused in consideration.
Lilienette waited hopefully. Oh, if only, let her believe…!
"Nope! You're lying! Have another muffin!"
"I-I'm not lying! I really will eat your soul!"
"I don't doubt that. But trust me, I'm a good cook! You won't regret this."
"ARE YOU STUPID?! YOUR COOKING IS HORRIBLE!!"
"OW! DAMN IT ALL, SAZUKI!!" Stark cut into their 'conversation.' His arms released Lilienette and reached up to grab his head. He then bent to the floor, growling in pain and annoyance. Lilienette danced away from his grasp but remained tense, ready to spring to or away from the eighth Espada. Orihime stood rigid as a statue, waiting to see what happened next, the muffin rolling out of her hand and falling to the floor with a thud, forgotten.
They remained motionless for a full minute; the only sound their quick and shallow breathing.
Finally, he let go of his head and stood up slowly. Letting out a huff of air, he scratched his head as he looked at the two women watching cautiously.
"Sorry," he amended, "No matter how many times I tell her, she breaks into my head whenever she feels like it like nobody's business."
"What did she want?" Orihime tentatively asked him, arms reaching up as if to touch him.
She glanced at the healer before gazing out the window. "She needs you to come with me and heal some idiot who injured himself. Not even in a fight, he just hurt himself by 'accident' because he 'didn't know better'." He rolled his eyes.
Her eyelids closed halfway before blinking and speaking, "Take me to them," determination ringing in the air long after she was finished. Stark cocked an eyebrow at her.
"Why the sudden change in mood?" he inquired.
"What sudden change in mood?"
"The one you just did."
"Me?"
"Yes, you!"
"I don't know what you're talking about. I've always been like this." She gave him a clueless look and he sighed in defeat.
"Fine. Let's go. Lilienette can wait." He waved vaguely in the direction of the fuming ninth Espada.
"Why can't I come?!" She demanded.
"Because I told you you can't." His voice was unusually cold. She shrank away from it. He paid her no heed. "Shall we go?"
Orihime nodded with a little "Mm", and they set off.
--
Hina's lip bled as she bit into it. Crimson liquid bubbled out of the wound, trickling down her chin. She paid it no attention. It mattered not.
The hollow mask resting on Ichigo's head was cracked at his forehead. Some blood dripped out between the small fractures and effectively staining the bone white mask. He was still conscious and kicking, but held down by a spell she had erected. He squirmed a bit on the bed she had placed him, but otherwise was still. A relief, since she had just gotten in touch with Stark through mind contact and instructed him to bring Orihime. It had been a few minutes so they should have arrived soon.
Speaking of the devil, impatient rapping came at her door. Grinning softly yet, mischievously, she stood up off her knees and breezed to the door. Opening it, she found Stark, Orihime and Adelaida.
Stark stood between the two women, waving lazily. Despite the easy posture, uneasiness dominated the air. Orihime stood straight; eyes fixed straight ahead, not so much as glancing at Hina. Adelaida seemed undeterred by the tense atmosphere. She smiled as easily as ever, eyes as warm as ever. Hina was discomforted. To smile at such inappropriate times was unnerving to all others around her.
"How have you been doing?" she asked in that same sugar-coated voice. The same one she had used since the day Hina met her. "What is it? You appear troubled."
Hina shook her head twice and beamed just as unnervingly back at her. "There is nothing to trouble me but your presence, my lady. What is your will?"
"I wish for nothing but your content Hina." The younger of the two bristled at the common language used with her, but managed to cover it with a smile.
"That is very reassuring thing to hear from my superior," she sidestepped so the doorway was now passable, "however, if Orihime-san could see to my subordinate…"
The strawberry blonde nodded once quickly before hurrying inside. Stark sent the two a masked glance as he followed suit. Adelaida made to move inside as well only to find an arm blocking her path. Trailing up the contours of the clothing to its owner's face, she found adoring and threatening golden irises staring back. "I would like to speak to you for a while, if I may." Hina semi-explained. When the blonde nodded her consent, Hina abruptly shut the door in her face.
"What are you playing at?" she hissed through her teeth. Adelaida's ruby eyes widened in surprise and involuntarily took a step back. Hina went on, "Why are you doing this? What is the use, what is the purpose? Why?"(3-1)
Adelaida laughed good-naturedly, but her eyes were worried. "You really must calm down. You will understand when the time is right."
"TELL ME!" (3-2)
Adelaida flinched.
"Now now Sazuki, that's no way to address your better." Vancelás stole from the shadows to slide up beside the jittering third Espada. Two rubies collided with the two emeralds mid-air, the green abyss soothing the blonde's nerves. He returned his look to Hina, curiosity etched on his pale skin. "How has he been? Behaving properly?"
Taken aback by the sudden change in atmosphere, she gave him a startled look as she rolled back on her heels. Her eyes closed resolutely, feet landing flat again as they reopened. A dark gaze penetrated through his eyes, but made it no further than the top layer.
"He's been doing fine. He just splintered his mask, but Orihime-san is fixing it now." Unfortunately…
"How fortunate. I do hope that he recovers soon," her ears may have been deceiving her, but Hina swore she could hear mockery in his voice. "If you'll excuse us," with a sly smile and a small bow, he took Adelaida's hand and held it up at arm's length as he led her away. Hina scowled after them.
She pushed the door open then, the fairy shield was glowing brightly as its effects took place. The shadows were intensified with each flicker of the light, rather than fading as they should have. Somehow, the light was darker. When Hina approached the healer, she heard muttering. Straining her ears, she found it was Orihime herself that was speaking. Looking at Stark, he shrugged, clueless.
Hina made sure to step lightly and slowly, hoping she wouldn't alarm the young woman. As she got closer, the words mumbled soft became clear, turning her blood to ice. "How can this be? My god! You're alive! I thought I lost you...",(4) and on and on like that. The blankness in her voice was what was frightening. Her words were filled with desperation and relief; however, they held no meaning behind them.
"What the…" (5-1) Hina Stared at the girl in utter confusion. Casting a sideways glance, Stark shrugged again.
"But you said (5-2) that I wouldn't get hurt, right? I believe you. I always have…" Orihime continued.
"He didn't do (5-3) anything, right?" Hina addressed the eighth Espada. He shook his head, and she started.
Orihime had wrapped her thin arms around her middle, puppy eyes staring up at her. "I can stop it, you know."
Hina smiled sweetly down at her. "What can you stop, Orihime-chan?"
"Everything," she snuggled into Hina's fabric, "I can stop the pain. I can stop the tears. I can even stop the screams. What do you stop?"
--
Ildefonso Mauricio tugged at the neck line of the shinigami uniform he was forced to wear. It was damn itchy! With the Arrnacar outfit, you could style it as you pleased. But with Shinigami you had to wear the same damn thing as everyone else. That was part of the reason why he hated-
"All right everyone! It's all set!" The hat-sandals guy was waving his fan at the white coats. The garganta was open behind him, sustained by the weird contraption.
--
Hina's smile waned, "The smiles. The laughter. Lives."
The head bobbed in understanding. "I can make that go away too." The golden eyes drooped to be half-lidded as her hand patted the strawberry blonde hair.
--
Mauricio was made to go first. They wanted to keep an eye on him. Directly behind his was silver-haired-white-coat-shorty. Mauricio glanced back at the kid, finding nothing but frozen determination set in the teal orbs.
Suddenly, they moved forward as one unit, even though Mauricio heard no command. Did they all have telepathy or something? Groaning in annoyance, he turned away from the young white coat and moved forward with them.
--
"I can make you go away too."
The smile dissolved into a smirk as Hina glanced at Stark out of the corner of her eyes.
"I would like that more than anything."
--
A/N: FlareKnight, how did you know?
Thanks: hinatanaruto fan, Ai Angel (NO WAIT DON'T FAINT!!! Ah darn…), . awaken. the. dawn, Traitor – Hero, xKazumi, AznVKai, larkinlover, unformidable trust, and SunsetRainbow.
If you want, you can suggest another random quote for me to include.
About three more chapters people. *deep breath* WE CAN DO THIS THING!!!
LOOK!!! THE GREEN BUTTON WANTS TO BE CLICKED!!!