JACKSON

You are going to be late.

Even if my mother was no longer with me physically, her voice still managed to have a presence in my head. So many years of my life had been spent trying to tune it out and now she managed to have a role there either way – too late for me to really appreciate it, but at least I was capable of recognizing that now.

It was a movie premiere for another movie, some action movie called Retaliation. I didn't know personally either one of the stars but April said that she had worked with the male star before a few years prior, someone named Matthew Taylor. I'd done a quick Google search and he had one of those familiar but otherwise forgettable faces. We had both agreed to dress somewhat casually for the premiere since neither one of us were involved in the project but we were just doing some more press work and advertisement for the movie. I had put on a pair of black dress pants and a black sweater on top, chains thrown on her it so it's not quite as monochrome as it would be. April hadn't told me what she was wearing so I figured black would be an easy way to match with her.

Checking the time on my watch, I was running just a little bit later than I had planned. That had been pretty much the norm for me these days, always cutting it close with everywhere I was going. It seemed like I got distracted it easier than I would have liked these days. Maybe the stress of the past year had finally begun to really catch up with me – everything between my grandfather and my mother, it just all seemed to slow me down.

I was thinking about it more than I had been when all of it had actually happened, admittedly. When I had heard about what April had gone through with him and what Amelia had gone through, I had been blind with believing them and making sure that everything worked out the way that it should have. Even if I had gone through admittedly regrettable resources, only regrettable from the way that she had reacted to it. Otherwise, I wouldn't have thought twice about doing it. Then my mother had died and I had wanted to do everything except for thinking about it. Laying there and doing absolutely nothing was better than facing the reality of the situation. Pretty much anything was better than the actual reality of it.

Going to therapy had gotten me past drowning it inside. It hadn't been much of a choice. April had always been so honest about the issues that she'd had in the past adding going to therapy. I knew any kind of bullshit excuses wouldn't have worked for a second with her.

Yet I was still glad that I had gone in the first place even if my initial reasons hadn't been the strongest ones. It had been trying to avoid that conversation with her and the pushing in person that would have inevitably come. But it hadn't ended being the same thing, even if I had only gone to two grief sessions with her. She'd taught me a lot of stuff that maybe should have been obvious. Grief teaches us that we should live every day creating memories that will comfort us after our loved ones are gone. Grief teaches us that pain and joy can coexist. Those were two things that she had said a lot and they made so much sense at pretty much any time other than in the actual process and the deep feeling of grief. Normalizing the process of grief had been a good thing. The rest of the world just didn't do that, no matter the fact that everyone had to deal with loss at some point.

The limousine for both of us was already stretched out in front of the sky rise New York apartment. April had left me a text on my phone letting me know that she was downstairs waiting – meaning that she had gotten antsy from waiting for me. We'd been back together in New York for two weeks, and she had picked up on my newer bad habits.

"Hey." The word was out of my mouth the same second the door opened. "Sorry, I'm here now."

"It's okay." Bright red lips smiled at me. "You look nice."

"And you look magnificent," I stretched over to give her a quick kiss on the cheek. "Perfect."

Even though it was a little more difficult to see all of it from her sitting, she was wearing a bright red jumpsuit with belt pinched at the middle of the weight. All of the freckles across her shoulders were on clear display, the neckline of the jumpsuit dipping down a little lower than what I usually saw her wearing. Of course, I'd seen it all before. But red complimented her so well, something that wasn't always true for redheads.

Her arm hooked around my elbow. "We're not actually going to be late, you know? I just thought if I scooted out the door a little earlier than necessary, then you would get out of the door on time."

"Clever." I chuckled. "I definitely thought we were going to be late."

"I used to do it with my sisters," she shared. I looked down at her. She rarely spoke of them. "They were always late to everything and I always wanted to be early. It was a constant argument back then."

"Well, we won't argue over it." I kissed the top of her head gently. "But there might be some arm tugging."

"You're going to get out all of your affection now," April reminded me. "I don't want to be too touchy in front of the camera. Not super beyond what regular costars do."

"I remember," I nodded. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, pulling her in tight. "And what exactly are we going to say if they ask about our relationship."

She took a deep breath. "That we are amazing friends and that we love working together, and that we had such an amazing, natural chemistry in the movie. It carried out to real life a little bit and we're trying to see if that was really there, or just the excitement from the movie. We're taking it easy and slow and don't want to be peppered with too many questions about it."

"The only person I know that could come up with such a polite version of please shut up." I laughed, rubbing her arm gently.

"In another life, I could have been a great press manager." She laughed. "But no, I had a little help from mine. And he very explicitly said that you should not call me princess in public unless you want everyone to go crazy."

"Noted," I nodded in agreement. "I'll leave it for the bedroom."

"Oh, hush!" She laughed and gave a gentle elbow to my ribs. "Just not in front of the cameras."

It doesn't take particularly long to navigate through the city and get from our shared home to where the movie premiere was located. Weekday traffic was rather typical. It's not quite as much time as I would have liked snuggling up against her but the movie premiere itself was the event more than the red carpet, which meant about two hours next to each other in the dark.

Noise is the clearest indication that we had arrived. Even if the movie wasn't that big as far as I was concerned, at least compared to our movie, it still seemed to have gathered a bit of a fanbase. Enough that there's screaming and shouting when the limo pulled to a stop in front of the red carpet. Even with the dark windows, it was easy to see the flashes of light that came from the paparazzi and their cameras on the other side of the car door. I took a deep breath, looking down at her and waiting until she gave a nod of her head before I unlocked the car door and gave it a little push, someone on the other side pulling it the rest of the way open.

"Jackson!"

"Is April with you?"

"Jackson!"

The screams come the second that I was out of the limo and in plain view of everyone. But I turned back toward April and offered her my hand to help her get out of the car, making sure that the long legs of her jumpsuit don't get caught on her heels.

Camera lights would have been blinding if I wasn't so used to the near constant flashes of bright lights for the both of us. We made our way over to the red carpet together and I tried to tune out the sound of our names being yelled out by everyone. Little demands are made, to smile and to look this way, and we keep in sync with the ones that we answer and when. It was easy to follow her lead. Even if I had never felt natural on this side of the camera, it was easier with her by my side.

My hand remained on the small of her back as we stayed on this side of the camera, moving our way slowly down the carpet so that plenty of photos could have been taken of both of us. She had more patience for it than I did, apparently. Her smile was brighter than all of the flashes of the cameras. I barely managed to keep mine to be more than a grimace.

"Such a beautiful couple!"

"Are you guys together?"

Shouting doesn't ever entirely stop even as a few other celebrities get out of their respective vehicle and onto the other end of the carpet even if it does get a little more split up and take some of the attention off of us, which I was grateful for. We finished our short walk down the red carpet and got inside the theatre, which was a relief. Even if there was still some press and whatnot inside, the camera flashes are rare. It's pretty much celebrities and friends instead of getting hounded by outsiders.

"Hey, at least no one asked if you're pregnant this time." I teased, lips brushing against her ear.

"A perk." She gave a quick kiss. No one was staring at us now, at least. "Do you want to get some food?"

"You know I do." I smiled.

"I do. C'mon," she chuckled and her fingers intertwined with mine as she guided me over to the table where a small buffet of hor d'oeuvres.

Grabbing plates for both of us, I load up with a little more food than she does and grab a beer and a glass of Chardonnay for her. She had found her way to socializing while I had waited at the little bar area, finding her chatting comfortably with a few faces that were familiar but I couldn't put a name on.

"And then, the next thing I knew, he was passed out on the table in front of me!" A short-haired brunette said.

Laughter burst out among the group and I offered a small smile as I came up next to April to hand her the glass of wine. She thanked me with a smile, covering her mouth and quickly swallowing her food and clearing her throat to introduce me, though I had doubts that an introduction was necessary in the first place. It was just her way of being polite.

"Guys, this is Jackson Avery." She leaned against me for a moment. "My co-star in Terminal."

"Just your co-star in Terminal?" The brunette shot up her eyebrows before smiling at me. "Hi, I'm Reed Adamson. I've heard plenty about you, especially this year. I'm so sorry about your mother, she was a legend." I try not to cringe. "April and I worked together years ago – I had just a small part in one of her projects and it helped me get into the world of Hollywood because she talked so fondly about me to others. I owe her so much."

"You do not!" April chimed in with a shake of her head. "Trust me, she earned that praise. She's brilliant. Don't let her pixie-stick size fool you, she knows how to command a room when she wants to."

"I believe it," I smiled. "It's nice to meet you, Reed. I'm pretty sure that I've seen your work before."

"Very polite, I like it." Reed smiled. "So, are you sure the two of you are just co-stars? Because pretty much every single thing that I've read about you indicates that there's just as much going on behind the scenes as there has been on camera."

I glanced down at her. "We are friends and love working together. And maybe some of that movie chemistry carried out to real life a little bit and we're trying to see if that was really there, or just the excitement from the movie. We're taking it easy and slow." I shrugged, quoting her as well as memory allowed for.

"We don't want to press making too much out of it," April added with a small nod of her head. "So we are kind of trying to keep it on the down low while we have just a little bit of a chance."

"Very nice." The male standing next to Reed spoke, offering his hand. I shook it. "Charles Percy, Reed's boyfriend. Nice to meet you."

"And you," I replied.

April and Reed are happy to chatter back and forth. Even though she had never mentioned the brunette to be in the past, it seems like they got on with each other quite well. The project that they had worked on before must have been the same project that had involved Matthew, too.

Taking their chatter as an opportunity to down some of the delicious food on my plate and the beer that I was holding onto, I listen carefully even if I don't throw in a lot. This was their world and it seemed like Charles was a guest in it, too. Even if he had a familiar looking face, at the same time, it could have been a face that I had seen anywhere. He didn't seem like he fit in as well either. I drifted toward him before speaking.

"You want to go grab another beer?" I offered.

"Sure thing." He agreed.

I waited until we had a little distance from the ladies before I spoke. "You're not in the industry, are you?"

"What gave it away?" Charles chuckled. "No, not really. I'm a journalist. For the Los Angeles Time, not anything like Variety or the Hollywood Reporter. Usually, I don't come to this kind of thing, but I love her."

"A good reason," I nodded in agreement before grabbing the bartender's attention to order. "That's impressive, though. Top paper in the city. You must be pretty good at what you do."

"I try to be." He remained nonchalant. "I like what I do. That's the important part."

"It is," I agreed. "I do too. Well, I like photography a lot more than I do acting. This is a good experience for me and honestly, I'm so fucking grateful that I met April through doing it. I love her. But I know being an actor is not the kind of career that I want. I hate being on the other side of the camera."

"The things that we do for love, huh?" He looked around with an amused smile. "This stuff isn't so bad, though. The food and the afterparties are always pretty nice, even if I rather keep any attention I get for my work."

"I get that. I'd take the attention on my work over myself any day of the week."

The bartender brought us both another beer as Charles spoke. "Yeah. It's weird, how different Reed and I are in that way. she doesn't think twice about all of it and it still kind of freaks me out now."

"April's the exact same way." I smiled. "A natural in front of the camera, and yet she's… totally chill without it too, you know? She's not a diva. I would've never guessed that if I hadn't gotten to know her, honestly. I've always kind of had a bad impression from the way I grew up."

"I can't imagine," he sympathized. "Sounds like you've been going through a lot with your family."

"Yeah," I sighed out. "It's been a rough year."

"Between the scandal and losing your mother, it must have been. I was sorry to hear about that. I read what she was doing with donating to The Rape Foundation after and having you to work on that photography project. It seems like she was a good woman."

"She was."

The words sting at my heart more than I would have liked them to, and I take a long sip from my beer, letting out a sigh. I would have to get used to talking about her at some point or another. Some days were going to be easier than others, I had been told that before. Maybe it was too soon for it to be something I was comfortable with just yet. Time was supposed to be a healing factor, even if it wasn't the only thing in the world that would make it easier.

"I guess we should go join our ladies again before the wander away without us," I suggested.

Making our way back through the crowd to our respective girlfriends I let my arm slip around April's slender waist and pulled her against my side. She looked up at me with a smile even if she stayed engaged with everything that Reed was talking about. Having been gone for a little bit, I wasn't quite sure anymore.

As people began to make their way inside the theatre itself, we followed the flow of the crowd and went along with them. Reed and April said goodbye to each other and we double-checked our seat assignment before making our way into the dark theatre. There was no previews or anything that would play before, just the movie itself, so it was important that everyone was seated and in their place when the movie actually started.

"Too bad you didn't wear a dress," I whispered in her ear when we sat down. "We could've had a lot of fun, princess."

"You are… terrible." April shuddered. "And I am so paying you back for that later."

The movie isn't bad. It's not the kind of thing that I would have had a lot of interest in on its own, but I didn't mind sitting down with April and getting out of the house to see. Most of it was pretty typical for any action movie when it came to the typical protagonist's loss, sex scenes thrown in, and of course, the gratuitous violence and all of the over the top effects that were in the budget for the movie.

When the after party comes around after, it has much more life to the event than the actual premiere did – but that was pretty typical. After parties were known for the food and the booze, plus the occasional ridiculous other things that got thrown into the mix. Music blasted loud enough it was hard to hear.

"Do you want another drink?" I asked loudly.

"No. But I'm about to attack those cake balls." A plan that I could get on board with.

Once we had both gotten a little more food in our stomachs for the night, we headed over to the groups of people that had gathered around, all dancing to the music. Some people clearly had a little more to drink than others did. With my arms wrapping around her waist and pulling her in tight against my front side, the two of us swayed side to side along with the music. She smelled good – some kind of new perfume that I hadn't noticed earlier. I inhaled deeply, pressing a kiss against her hairline.

"You smell so good," I murmured.

"What?" She nearly shouted.

I turned her around in my arms, her back against my chest and placed my ears against her lips. "You smell delicious."

A teasing kiss is placed on the curve of her neck before the two of us begin to dance together, and I realize the fault that I had in putting her in this position. The feel of her ass brushing and rubbing against my crotch with every movement, pressed back against me so deliciously, I could have taken her on the floor in front of everyone.

"I need to go to the bathroom," I spoke into her ear again, not quite as sexy as the first time. "I wouldn't mind a helping hand."

"Does having a mature relationship include slutty bathroom sex?"

"Any good relationship should." Making sure no one was paying attention to us, I gave her ass a quick squeeze.

Even though I leave her there for a brief moment, it's a short one. Finding my way to the bathroom, I glance over my shoulder and see that she's following me there. Entering, the first thing that I do is make sure that it was empty and no one else had already gotten busy with my current idea. I'm relieved that it was and that it's pretty clean looking. That made it slightly less sleazy.

The bathroom door opened behind me and I barely had any time to turn around and face April before her lips were attacking mine. She doesn't have to reach up as much as usual to capture them, her heels eliminating some of the normal difference in our two heights.

"Hello to you too," I muttered against her lips, nipping at her bottom one.

"Did I get you hard?" April eased a strap off her jumpsuit off, slipping her arm out and one breast falling out. I cupped it in my hand immediately, brushing my nipple across it and hardening the sensitive nub.

"You got pretty damn close. Figured I shouldn't walk around with a boner." I kissed her hard again.

"Well, I can take care of that."

She took charge and guided me back into the handicapped stall of the restroom, pushing the door shut and locking it quickly. The other strap of her jumpsuit came down and allowed the upper half of it to hang off of her, perky breasts put on display.

Bending down, I get one nipple between my mouth and begin to tease it with my tongue. It hardened quickly and I pulled at it gently with my front teeth, hearing a salacious moan escape from her lips above me. She pushed me back against the wall and I stared at her with an open mouth. She stared back boldly even though her chest had already begun to heave just a little bit, eyes not breaking the intense focus as she fell down onto her knees in front of me, quickly undoing the buckle of my belt and pulling down the zipper.

"You are so goddamn sexy," I complimented her.

"I'll show you sexy."

My boner was already beginning to strain against my boxers and she played a wet kiss over the material of them. Raking my fingers through her hair, though trying t be a little careful to not make a complete mess of it, it was too easy to settle my hand on the base of the neck and hold her there. She was still certainly in control, but I liked having a hold on her.

The sound of a phone ringing might have alarmed me if I didn't immediately recognize her ringtone. It was easy to ignore as she pushed down my boxers and pulled out my length, licking her hand for a little slickness before she wrapped her hand around my length and began to stroke it slowly. My hips canted forward into her grip to move with the motion. The second time that her phone rang, I tried not to think about it too much. Especially when her mouth settled around the tip of my cock. But the third time it started to ring again, it was beginning to become a bit of a distraction.

"Do you, uh…" I sighed out.

"No. One second, I'll shut it off." She muttered.

Her hand remained to hold onto me as she reached with her other into her purse and pulled out her phone. I expected her to just squeeze it off and put it away, but she doesn't. I can't see what her phone said but something in her face changed as she looked at it – no longer hot and bothered. Just bothered.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Um." A few seconds passed as she wet her lips. "It's one of my sisters. Libby called and Kimmie just called twice. Both of them texted me, too, just saying that it was important."

"What?" I had heard what she said clearly, it was just a shock.

"Yeah…" April sighed out. "I don't know. Maybe I should just ignore it." She let go of me, scrolling through the notifications.

"No," I shook my head. "Call one of them back. It might be something important."

She let out a huff of air. "I don't know, Jackson…"

"C'mon," I squatted down so that I was on the same level as her. "If there's something going on with your family, you should know. Whether or not you're going to do something to act on it, that's up to you. Calling them back and knowing isn't forcing your hand into it."

April stared down at her phone screen a few minutes longer. Another text appeared. "Yeah, okay."

Both of us stood back up so we were not lingering on a dirty bathroom floor, and I tucked my cock back into my boxers and pants despite the fact that it was still hard. Whatever was going on, it had to be something somewhat important. I knew that she hadn't spoken to her family in years and it seemed to be a mutual effort. The mood was gone.

"Hello? … Yeah, hi Kimmie, it's really me. Hi, Libby. What's going on?"

She doesn't turn away from me while she was on the phone so I took that as a sign it was fine to listen to everything that she was saying and strain my ears just a little to try and hear what was being said on the other side. It was easy to tell that her sister was emotional on the other end but I couldn't hear every word that was being said.

But I don't need to.

The look on April's face as she pressed whatever was being spoken to her on the other end of the line was clear. The confusion disappeared as details were revealed and there's a sudden glistening of tears on her lower lashes, one slipping past and bringing down a little bit of mascara in a trail down on her face. I give her space, not wanting to push while she was on the phone. She doesn't say much after the tear slipped out of her. Someone had to be dead or dying, something of that matter – but I would guess that unlike with me, this accident had nothing to do with her mother. Her sisters had been young and impressionable when they had gone against her, but her parents had not been. They knew exactly what they were doing.

Disconnecting the call, a few quick seconds passed before the iPhone was suddenly shattering against the floor and she stood there, hand still held out as if she was holding it. Stepping forward, my arms wrap securely around her. Even with my arms around her bare skin from her jumpsuit hanging half off of her, she doesn't feel warm in the way that she usually did. Something had happened.

"April…" I said slowly, not letting go of her. "What's going on?"

A sob finally escaped her, strong enough that it shook her entire frame even as I held her.

"Whatever it is, you can tell me. I'm here, I'm right here."

She doesn't speak immediately. I don't push her to just yet, holding her against me and rubbing circles across the top of her back as I held her. She doesn't let out any sobs like that one again, but I suspect there are a few more tears making their way down her face.

"It's uh, my sister." April finally began to speak as she pulled back from me, blinking a few times. "My other sister. Alice. There was a car accident and she's going into surgery but apparently, it's really bad and they're not sure if she'll make it."

"Oh, April," I breathed out. My hands cupped her face, thumb wiping away a tear. "I'm so sorry."

"I haven't seen her since I was twelve. She's twice as old now. I haven't known her for half of her life and now she's probably going to die." Her words were messy. "Kimmie said that she didn't think that I was going to call back. Then she could have just died and I wouldn't have even know about it. How awful is that? I'm… I'm a terrible sister. I've been blaming her for something that my mother did when she was twelve."

"You were just a kid too, April. You were a kid who had just gone through something traumatic and wanted nothing more than your family, and they didn't give you that. You weren't wrong for feeling that way." I defended her quickly.

"What if I was?" She blurted out. "They… they were all just kids who wanted their family too."

I pulled her in against my chest. "You weren't wrong. You weren't. But if you wanted to… go and see your sisters, then that wouldn't be saying that you were wrong, either. You can care about them now without negating the way that you felt in the past. Just like they might care about you now, for not understanding what happened in the past."

"I don't know what to do." She confessed, sniffling loudly. "I just don't."

"You don't have to know right now. You don't. How about we go home?" I suggested.

"Okay." She uttered.

Helping her get her jumpsuit back into place and smoothing over her hair, using a wet paper towel to dab away the smears of mascara there had run beneath her eyes from the tears, it certainly no longer looked like the two of us had snuck into the bathroom for some mid-party sex. There's a little redness at the bottom edge of her eyes, but between everything else going on at the party, it was doubtful that anyone would pay much attention to that if they even noticed.

With my arm around her shoulder and holding her tight against me, we made our way through the crowd left in the party without anyone approaching us. I get us a ride back to my penthouse. The doorman doesn't say a word to either one of us as we take the elevator up to our floor and get inside of it.

"You know that when my mom died, we weren't on the best of terms." I started as we sat down on the couch. I reached down and pulled her heels off her feet, pulling them into my lap and beginning to massage one gently.

"I know." She murmured, laying her head back against the arm of the soda.

"That doesn't mean that I didn't love her. It just means… things weren't perfect, because they never are, and life has shitty timing sometime." I tried to swallow my own emotions. "How do you think you would feel if you went and saw them? Your sisters, at least. Not your mother."

"I don't know." She wet her lips. "Do you think… it would have been easier if you and your mother had been on good terms?"

"I don't know." My turn to throw out the words. "Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe it just would have been a different grief."

"If she dies, I'll have never known her," April stated bluntly. "And if she lives, and I go… then I feel like I need to know her. I'll have to get to know her, won't I? I'm scared getting to know my sisters means that I'm going to have to get to know my parents again, too. Or that they're going to manage to convince me that what my parents did was right and I was being wrong and overdramatic about it."

I shook my head. "They're not going to do that. I'm not going to let them do that to you, okay?"

"What if they try?" She asked.

"I'm not going to let them," I repeated myself. "I can't say that I know what it was like to grow up in your family. But I know what you've told me and I've learned a thing or two about weird and complicated family dynamics in my day. Which is why I'm not going to leave you alone in dealing with this."

"But I left you alone when your mother died. I know that you said it was what you wanted. But I shouldn't have." April pointed out.

"Not entirely," I gave a soft smile. "You gave me the chance to talk to Cristina. Anyone could have given me her name, sure, but I wouldn't have accepted it from anyone but you, baby. Because you've always been so open with me about your struggles."

April pulled her feet out of her hands and turned around from the way that she was laying on the couch. She curled up against me and put her head on my lap so she was now laying in the opposite direction from before. I stroked my hand over her soft hair and pulled a little bit out of it from her face, making sure that I could see it. There were a few tears sparkling along the lower edge now but they weren't falling as they had been before. I couldn't tell if that was better or worse. Sometimes, crying could be a good thing.

"How about this," I took a deep breath before starting. "Let's get undressed and go to bed. You've had a bit to drink tonight, so have I, that's not the time to make big or emotional decisions. We'll sleep it off and wake up at a bit of an early hour in the morning. Then we can decide. We can catch the first flight to Ohio, or we can not."

"No." She disagreed with a sniffle. "I… I have money. If she's still alive in the morning, I want to have her transferred here. To the best hospital and to the best doctors available. I'll fly out Kimmie and Libby too. It's the least that I can do for them."

"Okay." If she wasn't ready to go home, I couldn't blame her. "We can do that."

"If she dies, I want to pay for her funeral." Money wasn't everything, but sometimes, it could make an effort for feeling like you were doing something. I couldn't criticize her for that.

Especially given I still hadn't figured out that I should be poor for my grandfather's sake, and currently was not.

"Okay," I nodded my head, leaning down and kissing her forehead. "We'll make sure that you feel the same way in the morning, and if you do, we'll et all of the arrangements for her made and taken care of." A few seconds passed and I stroke my thumb along her shoulder gently. "You're a good sister, April. Even if you don't feel like one right now, you are. So many people would not do the same, no matter what the relationship between them and their siblings was."

"Thank you," she breathed out quietly. "Can we go to bed now?"

"Yeah. Yeah, let's go to bed, sweetheart."

I really, really hoped that she would actually sleep.