Bella's POV
"Bella," Jasper spoke. "What happened?" He said calmly. I choose Jasper because I knew he would remain focused. And wouldn't distract me during our trip to my past. Emmett was too hurt and disappointed to even listen to another word I would have to say.
"Thanks for staying Jazz," I said firstly. "Sure thing," He tried giving me a smile. He grabbed my hands, gently rubbing soothing circles with his thumb. "Im here to listen," He assured me. I nodded.
"I was Sixteen Jasper, and I got caught up with the wrong people. No, the wrong person. I met Kevin in Phoenix, he was the son of René's best friend. Along with his brother Steven, who was older than us. We got genuinely close, Kevin and I. We were best friends. He became the brother I desperately wanted to have. Emmett was too far, and I never got see him. My mother wouldn't allow it. She said I belonged with her, and that my father and brother had their own lives. I needed someone Jasper," I looked up. He was inventively looking back at me. Concentrating on my story.
"When I started being around Kevin more, naturally Steven came into the picture. He was older, wise, kind, but his only flaw was the drugs. And Kevin's as well, it's just he knew how to hide it better than his older brother. One day, the three of us were hanging out, it was a lazy Saturday afternoon, when Kevin had a brilliant idea. 'Let's give Bella a fix!' He said happily. I refused at once, I knew better than that. But peer pressure you know, and stupidly I wanted to impress Steven, I wanted him to know I wasn't a clumsy teen, that I could do anything too. So I eventually did." I paused. Remembering the aftermath after the high wears off.
"But I should have known better, Steven never asked me before. It was Kevin. Eventually one fix turned into another then another. Until the point I couldn't stop. René caught me high in the sky," I laughed humorlessly. "Logically she panicked, she asked who gave it to me. And I said 'Steven,' but I wasn't on my right mind. I was just thinking of him. René along with her best friend decided that their 'addicts' of a son and daughter, should get help. SO they locked us away in the center. To Florida. It was the best center for teenagers."
"After our first month at the Institute, we began to cure ourselves. We made a promise to each other, than once we had overcome this problem, we would start a new life, a clean life, with together. He was my first Love Jasper. He was a great guy. Unlike the devil spawn of his brother. Anyways, A year passed, and we were completely recovered. René and Steven's mom decided we could leave at once. They were proud of us, that we overcame this. But obviously one who wasn't was Kevin. I was his best customer after all. And he enjoyed watching me beg and squirm for them. There was always pleasure in his eyes to see me so…desperate. While we were at the center, his problem became worse. He got lonely, he says, and did the only thing that would make him happy. He sent us letters, and we were worried about him, we didn't want him to die."
"One day, a week before Steven and I were released, he sent us a letter. He told us he was tired of living, that he hoped we had a good life together. He said he couldn't possibly be around to see his brother and the girl he 'loved' happy together. But we never knew about his feelings towards ME. We were strictly best friends, and he never showed signs of his supposedly love. But in the letter he told Steve that I was rightfully his. That he knew me better than anyone else. That I deserved a better man…that hypocrite. And what does a good brother do? He tried to breakout of the center to help his brother. He wanted Kevin to live. And what does a stupid teen do? She fallows the man she loves."
"When Steven and I left, he was distant from me. He didn't talk to me, he didn't look at me. I just assumed he was worried for Kevin. Like I was. We arrived at the address were he sent his letters from. He was staying at a cheap Hotel in Florida. We arrived only To find the bastard in a nice high. He began to laugh, telling us that he couldn't believe we escaped for him. He said we would, that we would come through, for him. Then he began proclaiming his 'love' for me. And then Steven did something that I never imagined he would do. Not after all we had been through together. He broke up with me, right there and then. To leave the path clear for Kevin. He said He didn't deserved me and that his brother was better for me. Utter Bullshit," I said. How he was wrong.
" I told him that I loved him, and that I didn't care if he broke up with me, I would never be with Kevin. And I told that swine as well. I told him I could never see him as nothing more than a friend, a brother. Like the evil son of a bitch that he is, he didn't take it well. Little did I know he was planning something big to get Steven completely disappointed in me. To keep us away for good. And he eventually did."
"One day, Kevin and I were alone. He came on to me, told me I should be with him, that he was better than Steven. He said Steven didn't love me enough, that he wouldn't put up a fight to have me. His words tore through my heart. Deeply hurting me. He might have been trying to seduce me, but he had a point. Why wouldn't Steven fight for me? Ha, he was a good brother was all. -Kevin began to kiss me and in the moment I let myself. Apparently neither of us noticed Steven walk in."
"But what he didn't see was when I pushed Kevin off me. I told him I just couldn't. I was in love with his brother and that he had to deal with it. Steven and I were meant to be, he had to understand.. I ran up to Stevens room, at the hotel we were staying at. I found him, completely drugged. He was really out of it. I was scared he would have an overdose. I saw the amount that he took! I was surprised he wasn't foaming yet.-He saw me and well, you know. Kevin explained that rather well earlier," He nodded, assuring me he remembered what the anti-Christ had said. I paused, watching Jasper. He was trying to let what I had just told him sink in. He was a good friend.
"Kevin barged into the room and helped me. He could hear me beg Steven to stop from his Room. He started beating Steven up. Attacking him for trying to rape me. But I yelled for him to stop. He was enraged that I was defending him. But there was nothing to forgive! I loved Steven and Steven wasn't in his senses when he was trying to hurt me.- I begged Kevin to leave me alone with him, that I would take care of him. Kevin hesitated but pleased me by leaving. I tried getting Steven to calm down. "
By this point of my tale, I was sobbing. Remembering that awful night. "It's okay Bells," Jasper spoke. He embraced me in a safe hug. He rubbed my back. Trying to get me to stop crying. "N-no, I want to continue," I needed to finish. I was done with the lies. Done with the Secrets. "Are you sure?" He asked me. His deep blue eyes pierced mine, with caring affection. "Im sure Jasper, you have a right to know," I half smiled. He nodded.
"Steven broke down, asking, no, imploring me to forgive him. I tried to convince him that there was nothing to pardon! That it was okay, to calm down. But the more he panicked. He ran into the restroom. Locking the door. I ran after him, banging on the door. I begged him to open, that I forgave him. If that's what he wanted to hear, then I forgave him. He wouldn't budge though, He was stuck that he was a horrible person. That you don't hurt the ones you love."
-Flashback
"Steven!" I begged him. I kept pounding on the wooden door. "Please open!" I shouted again. "Im sorry Bella," His raspy voice came form the inside of the restroom. "I was an idiot!" He continued. "I'm a complete failure! Look! I almost raped you Bella!" He screamed. "Steven, it's alright, we'll get you help again. Your not a failure! You could do this! You did it once you could do it again!" I tried convincing him. "It's a slip Steven, everyone cant be strong, but what makes you stronger is when you admit you have a problem and look for help!" I said softly. "Please Steven open the door," I pleaded once more.
I heard him rumble through the cabinets of the bathroom. He was searching for something. He kept grunting when he couldn't find it. "What are you looking for?" I asked him. What was possibly in there that he desperately wanted? Oh no! "Are you bleeding?" I asked him very concerned. He always had a problem with that. His nose bled when ever he did cocaine. "No," He hissed. He continued ravaging through the cabinets. I heard glasses breaking, and things being thrown on the floor.
And then, the noise stopped. "Bella," He called me gently. "Y-yes?" I said hopeful. He sounded calm. Hopefully his tantrum was finished. "I will always love you Bella. And I am truly sorry I was never the right man for you. I will always look over you, nothing will harm you, I promise you that. I'll carry you in my heart beyond death," He said kindly. I heard him unlock the door. "I love you too Steven," I said. Thank god! It's over! I smiled.
"Goodbye," He said again. And before I could open the door, I heard a loud gun shot. "Steven!" I yelled. I pushed the door open. Blood was all over the wall. It even splattered across to the mirror. He was laying motionless, across the bathroom floor. The gun in one hand. I could see where the bullet had pierced through his skull. "Steven!" I cried again.
I slammed against his body. Holding him tight. "Don't leave me," I whispered to him. "Please," I cried. I heard the door from the hotel room bust open. "Bella! Steven!" Kevin called. I heard his footsteps approach the bathroom. He pushed the door open. And stood at the door way, looking back at me. Completely horror struck. I was covered in Steven's blood. But Kevin did, what I wasn't expecting. Instead of crying and joining me in the grief over losing his brother. He began to yell. "What the hell did you do to my brother?!" He shouted. "K-Kevin I-it w-wasn't-" "Get off him! Get off him!" Kevin rushed towards me and dragged me out the restroom Pulling on my hair. He pushed me outside through the Hotel room door. "You will pay for this Isabella!" He yelled angrily. I couldn't believe he was accusing me for this. I loved Steven! I would never dream of hurting him! Why couldn't he see the pain I was in?
"Leave! Now!" He shouted. I wanted to stay, and be with my Steven. He was dead! I needed to be with him! Kevin never liked his brother! It was his fault! Not mine! "Now!!" He shouted again. My brain reacted before my heart. I ran out the hotel room. Tripping on the stairs, the tears blinding my vision. I didn't know where I would go now. But I couldn't stay. I couldn't go to my mother. I needed to go into hiding. "Goodbye Steven," I cried as I rushed to the streets of the cold Floridian night.
-End of Flashback
"H-he Killed himself?" Jasper spoke. He looked stunned. "Yes," I said whipping my tears away. "Oh Bella, Im really sorry," He said. He squeezed me tighter into a hug, "Im sorry Jasper, I didn't mean to keep so many secrets from you," I sighed. "or Emmett," I felt the pressure of the tears on my eyes. "He wont forgive me, will he?" I asked Jasper. He knew my brother better than I did. "He is hurt Bells, you know that family means the world to Emmett," He stopped. "No," He shook his head. "His sister means the world to him," Jasper retracted himself.
"It was too much to tell Jazz," He brushed off the single tear that dared to slip. "It had been eight years! I didn't expect to reunite with him and tell him the horrors the past two years of my life had been," Jasper patted my shoulder. "I understand, but you could have ultimately tried," Jasper said. "But Bella, I assure you that he will forgive you, give it time my Bella," He kissed my forehead. And then for the first time in this conversation I was pulled back into reality. Jasper wasn't that friend, that I thought was listening to my story. Hearing with much care to try and help his friend, out. He was a boyfriend concerned for his girlfriend. Argh, that's another thing I have to deal with.
"Let me take you home Bella, it's dark out," He gently wrapped his hand around mine. "Thanks for listening to me Jazz, I hope I didn't disappoint you," I said urgently. "Everyone has secrets Bella, and not everyone is perfect. I didn't expect you to be an angel straight from Heaven," He smiled. "Although you look like one," He kissed my cheek. "Thanks," I blushed.
For the first time in two years, I walked freely. The weight of my secrets had been lifted from me. And it just caused me my brother. How I will survive the next battle, I wasn't sure. But I will be damned if Kevin wins this. He will not take away the people I have grown to love. Not Emmett. Not Jasper. And definitely not Edward.