Chapter 14

A saint of the sword

Oh, what happened to me? My mind feels foggy and I can barely remember what happened. I just remember fainting from lack of air because Mia was holding me in a bone-crushing hug. I opened my eyes to find Mia standing over me.

"Oh, hey…" I said to Mia. Her face seemed rather flushed as she looked away from me in guilt and shame.

"… what's wrong?" I asked.

"Well, you nearly died," Mia said.

"Nearly. I'm alive, aren't I?" I said.

"You're taking this lightly, aren't you?" Mia asked.

"No need to cry over spilt milk," I quoted.

"You nearly died. You actually stopped breathing!" Mia exclaimed.

"So… I didn't just faint?" I asked.

"No. You stopped breathing, period," Mia said.

"… so, who healed me?" I asked.

"There were no healers around," Mia replied.

"So, how'd I start breathing again?" I asked, rephrasing my question.

"… don't people from your world know about mouth-to-mouth?" Mia asked incredulously.

"Yeah, but… wait… what?" I asked.

"… don't tell anyone what happened, please? I don't want Ike thinking I'm going to strangle everyone in the company! I was just… a bit excited," Mia said.

"I understand," I said. Wait, mouth-to-mouth? I touched my lips.

"Wait a second…" I said.

"Yes, technically," Mia said.

"… I won't tell if you won't tell," I said to Mia hastily. I don't need anybody in the company, namely Boyd, to think wrong things.

"Me? Tell! No way!" Mia said, back to her excited personality.

"That's good," I replied.

"Yes it is, because you were out for a while, even when you regained your breathing!" Mia exclaimed.

"Yeah… hey Mia," I said.

"What?"

"I wouldn't mind being your psychiatrist! I could listen to you and your problems."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I'd love to help you get things off your chest for you. I wouldn't mind trying to get into you to help you and make you smile," I said with a smirk. I couldn't help but make a comment like that. Damn my nature and my personality to try to insert the worst kind of humor in this situation.

"You'd really do that for me?" Mia asked.

"Anything to help out," I replied. Wow, she must've thought I was serious. Well, I was half-serious anyway. I do enjoy helping people out and try to cheer them up. It's gotten me in trouble before though, and it just may get me in trouble again if something happens here.

"Dinner's ready," Oscar said with a smile as he peeked in the doorway. Hasn't anyone ever heard of privacy or knocking? What if someone was knocking in this room… using knocking in a different sense than I did in the previous sentence, of course. What if it was Boyd? That would be a mental image so hard to get rid of.

"I'm going. You should come too," I said to Mia.

"Not that hungry," she replied.

"You need the food and strength," I said.

"Give my portion to Ilyana," Mia simply replied.

"You're awfully calm right now," I observed.

"I'm thinking," Mia said.

"Okay, well, if you change your mind, it's not too late," I said plainly to her.

"Okay! Will do!" Mia said. "I'm going back to my room. I'm a bit tired, after all."

"Rest well, Mia," I said to her as we walked out of the room and went to our separate directions. I arrived at the dining hall, using the term hall loosely, just as the food was being brought out.

For those of you wondering about the food in Fire Emblem, I must say that it was quite surprisingly similar to our own. We had mashed potatoes and what appeared to be some kind of meat. After my first bite of the meat, I cared not what animal it was from, because it was good!

Like, I mean, screw the restaurants. Screw all those Food Network chefs. Screw going to a fancy restaurant and paying a small fortune for a meal for two. This meal is free and it's better than those meals. The meat was juicy, tasty, and flavored with the right spices to excellently complement the taste of the meat. The meat itself was cooked just right in medium. Although I prefer my steaks rare, this was no joke. It was great, it was awesome, and it's probably healthy, seeing as how no one in this company seems to be in bad physical condition… even Soren. Rhys just… is always sickly, so I don't count him.

I casually watched Ilyana as she ate. After a while I started watching intently. She seriously could not be putting away that much food. She'd break the bank if they ever had an all-you-can-eat buffet. I wonder how much she'd eat at one. Probably everything they had.

Ike seems relatively calm, as does Titania. They don't seem that bothered. I guess she really does eat a lot. I mean, I read about it in support conversations, but to actually see it in person is something else entirely. Zihark seems to have taken an interest in Ilyana's eating habits too. I could only smirk as I saw him watch her with great curiosity and look of unbelief in his eyes.

I wonder if Ilyana can taste this wonderful food. I wonder if Oscar was the one who cooked it. I remember everyone always saying that his foods were always delicious. With a smile, I finished my food with every intention on complimenting the chef whenever I could. Stifling a yawn, I watched as some of the other mercenaries left for their beds. It really was late again.

As I got up, I saw Oscar walking by. Cheerfully, I smiled at him and waved. He smiled back at me and waved back. I walked up to him and asked, "Did you make this meal?"

"Why yes, I did," Oscar replied with an interested look.

"That... was a very well-cooked meal!" I said to him with a smile. "I would never have believed how well you could cook if I hadn't experienced it for myself."

"Thank you," Oscar said. I nodded to him with a grin and walked off to my room. As I walked back, I saw Zihark slowly roaming through the hallways.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked him in a casual, friendly tone.

"Zihark?" I asked carefully.

"Hm? Oh, hello," Zihark replied. He seemed to be spaced out, thinking about something else.

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

"Just reminiscing," Zihark replied. I wonder what he's reminiscing about.

"You probably already know what I'm thinking about," Zihark said.

"I probably do," I replied. Honestly, I don't remember Zihark all that much, but I wasn't about to say that to him while he was distracted.

"Do you ever think back about your home?" Zihark asked me.

"Sometimes. Every time I think about it, though, I think about all the good and bad things and all the things I had to struggle through back home. I may be a mercenary, but I like the life here better," I replied.

"Isn't being taken away from your home something that you despise?" Zihark asked me.

"It can be hard at times, but... this is where I am now. My home, my friends, my allies... and my life. There's no use in me for looking back into the past and dwelling on what I may never have again..." I said. I looked down at the ground and continued, "But it's still hard to think about at times."

"I understand," Zihark replied.

"Zihark?" I asked as I looked at him.

"Yes?" he said in reply.

"You have to live through this war. It doesn't matter how hard things go, don't give up hope. Just because something happened to you before... doesn't mean you should give up. You gotta promise me you'll live through this war," I said to Zihark. Gyppy would kill me if I let Zihark die.

"Why would I not want to live?" Zihark asked.

"Well, where I'm from... sometimes problems pile up so high that people lose the motivation to do things. Then when they fall so far behind, they feel inferior and useless... and they end up killing themselves or doing something stupid that lets them get killed," I replied.

"Trust me when I say I won't ever do something like that," Zihark said in a slightly more firm of a tone than he had been using.

"Good, because if you go emo on me..." I began, unable to finish what I was going to say.

"Emo?" Zihark asked.

"Er... it means you dress in all black clothing, cut your wrists to distract yourself from mental pains, listen to music with sad words, avoid other people, and blame yourself all the time. It means you blame all the problems of the world on yourself, you constantly feel pity for yourself, and you insist people don't know your life and shouldn't judge you. Well, at least, that's how the stereotype goes. It's actually a bit more complicated and diverse than just that," I explained.

"Hm," was all the response I got.

"I had a few friends back at home who were somewhat like that..." I began, but stopped. I really don't want to talk about home... my world... I don't know what to call it anymore.

"What's wrong?" Zihark asked.

"I... really don't want to think about Earth that much anymore," I said.

"Earth? Is that your home?" Zihark asked.

"... I don't even know if I'd consider it home anymore. I don't know if I'll ever go back, or if I do... if I ever want to go back," I replied.

"Don't you think they'll miss you?" Zihark asked.

"They will. I know it. Just... I've had more fun and enjoyed my life so much more here in this world than I did back there. It may be harder than it was back there, but I can't help but feel that I like it better here," I said. It couldn't be because Karla's coming onto me, could it? Nah... I had that feeling of home here in this world before I even ran into her. Although she does help that feeling quite a bit.

... hell, everyone helps me feel like this is my home now. Everyone is so precise and caring and helpful. I just love it here. I can't explain why. There's no technology or anything that I was used to, and yet I find myself loving it. I really should stop thinking about this. I'm beginning to sound like I'm doubting myself or something.

"I understand. Just like when I first left Daein," Zihark said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I left Daein a while ago. I realized that I was leaving my old life behind. I was leaving my old friends, my old lifestyle, and my old habits. Yet, as time went on, I began to enjoy the adventure. Change can be good because it makes you see things you normally don't see. Maybe not a change as radical as yours, but I still think the change was good for you. If you go back, I am sure you will live your life and appreciate things a whole lot differently than how you did when you first left the world," Zihark said.

"I already do view life differently. I already see things in a whole new light. I realized just how weird my life was back then. If I do go back, I want to change my life for the better. That's all I can think of," I said.

"Night's coming. It's probably best we get some rest," Zihark said.

"Didn't know you were a poet," I said in a joking voice with a smirk.

"Perhaps..." Zihark replied.

"Thanks for talking with me. I know it sounds a bit selfish, but I do need the reassurance once in a while," I said to him with a slight bow.

"It has been an honor talking with you, John," Zihark said.

"Mmm, g'nite," I said to him.

"Good night," Zihark replied. As we went our separate ways, I walked back to the room with his words still fresh in my mind. I really shouldn't be doubting myself as much as I do. Oh well. I'm here now. That's what matters. I should stop dwelling on the past, but at the same time, I shouldn't be so paranoid of the future. The future is uncertain. I shouldn't be such a doom-bringer and such a downer all the time. Maybe Karla hasn't changed her mind yet? Mmm, maybe not. I wonder... if I can ever get the courage to ask her.

Oh, what am I thinking? I had enough problems with girls when I was at home. Why should I add more in this world? I don't know! I'll sleep on it.

I walked into my room and just collapsed in my sleeping area. I took my glasses off, put them on the desk near me, and drifted off into a sleep.

Author's Notes: Sorry for the long time in-between updates. I got my internet connection back, the move to the new house is nearly complete, and I'm nearly caught up on homework. Most of my personal problems have been mostly worked out, so hopefully nothing wrong goes there as well. For homework, I really only have a concert report to write, a poetry analysis, and a research paper to do. Well, that and a ton of pages for Music Theory due tomorrow, but I'm not overly worried about that. For the personal problems... well... that's personal.

I apologize for the long wait. The next update may take some time, because as the end of the semester gets near, teachers will be cramming stuff into our homework loads. However, I'll do my best to at least get a chapter or two a week!

Man, it's good to be back. In other news, I turned eighteen about two weeks ago. Huzzah. I'm legally an adult.

Also, I've been dabbling more and more with my novels. It won't overtake this project, but I did promise to work on it more than I was. I'm nearly finished with the chapter one rewrite. When it's up, I'll put a link in my profile.