-1***3 Weeks Later***

"I love living with you," Max insisted. "I do."

"But?" Kenny asked, looking at her packed bags, knowing how they've been over this before. "Max, you can stay as long as you want."

Because you're not forcing anything on me, Max thought, the picture of restraint. This isn't fair to him, I know what he wants from me. And Sam…He's getting out of the hospital. He's still my boyfriend. Too many men. I need to be me again. "I know, and I appreciate that. I need some time, Kenny. Alone time. I'm not running away or hiding."

"Just got used to having you around."

"It's not like you're never going to see me again."

Sam is going to Greenbay, he thought, after she sees him tonight. Her new place is out f town, in the middle of nowhere. Max, what are you doing here? You're going to hide in the woods and what? "Furnished too? You want to get dinner, after you get moved in? Max, pizza, beer and a bad movie, nothing fancy."

"Just like the old days?" she said, smiling despite her melancholy mood. "I'd like that a lot."

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"Come with me," Sam said, as he sat in his wheelchair. "For a few days."

Max gulped, as she sat in the hospital chair across from him. "Sam, I'm moving into my new place, I need to get settled. I'll come visit."

He stared at her for a long moment, before sighing. "I'm going to fight for you. I don't understand your relationship with Kenny, I asked him and he told me to talk to you. Is there something I need to know?"

Max shook her head, unsure of what to say. "No, maybe, I don't know. We've always been close…He told me he loved me, that he always has. I don't know how to deal with it because it's Kenny and…I don't know how to deal with it. And I love you, Sam, you're a great guy and you've been wonderful to me, when all I did was lie and almost get you killed."

Sam stared at her for a long moment. "Do you love him?"

Good question, Max thought, do I love Kenny? Can I love him? "Sam, I don't know."

"Yeah, you do," he replied. "You know, and you're lying to yourself, me and him about it."

"We have a lot of history," Max trailed off. He knows me, he's seen my best and worst. I've agonized over him, fought with him…kissed him. Those kisses were more amazing then anything. "I'm not ready for him."

"Is that what I'm here for then? The safe choice, until you're ready for him? That isn't what I want from you. I was going to propose to you, back in Seattle, before any of this happened. I can understand why you didn't tell me the truth, but I'm not going to play second string with you. I love you, I want this to work, but if you're just stringing me along, we need to stop. And if you do love him? Tell him. Be honest with him."

"I'm sorry, Sam."

Me too, he thought.

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"I can't believe you let her move out," Skeeter said. "I heard Sam left for Greenbay and his parents."

Kenny nodded. "Yeah. She hasn't said much about it. All she said is she needs some time and space. We're getting dinner tonight. She…I don't know what to do with her."

"You've waited a long time for her."

"Yeah. I've never…She does this to me. I know she's been hurt, that she is healing. She has me going in circles, and…I don't know how she is going to react from day to day."

"You two haven't, you know?"

Kenny shook his head. "I think her head may explode if we did. He, Danny, he left some scars in her. She isn't…I don't know what is going on in her head sometimes."

Skeeter grinned. "She's not stupid, she'll figure it out. Time and space? Don't force anything on her."

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"You are too thin," Jill stated, as she set the bag of groceries on Max's counter. "You need to take care of yourself."

"I'm fine, Jill," Max said, closing her laptop. "Really."

Jill regarded her young friend for a long moment. Clad in faded denim cut-offs, tank-top and her red hair falling halfway down her back. Too thin, she thought again, wary, skittish…this isn't the Max I knew. "I love your hair like this."

She ran her fingers through it. "Thanks."

"This place isn't easy to get here," Jill continued, looking around the secluded cabin. "That's what you wanted?"

"Yeah. It's quiet. I can think here. Breathe."

Heal, Jill thought, that's what you need. She's damaged. "Have you gone to see Sam yet?"

Max bit her lip. "It's done. Over. He…We talked about…He's going back to Seattle when he recovers."

"Oh."

"It's fine…It was…I love him, but not like he wanted me to. I'm not who he wanted me to be. He loved Abby."

"You liked being her?"

"I wanted to be anyone but me. My life was a disaster, it still is."

"It's over. Max, you're free from it all."

She took a steadying breath. "I know. I need some time. I need to be alone and figure out who I am again. I need a break from people."

Kenny, Jill thought, she's talking about Kenny. She's an idiot about men. "You mean Kenny?"

"He told me he loved me," Max blurted out, as spilled it all to Jill.

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"And you can't sit around waiting for her," Skeeter said. "She's pretty screwed up."

Mooning over a woman who isn't even sure she wants me, Kenny thought, the one who breaks my heart every time I look at her. This isn't me, it isn't how it was supposed to turn out. "I know. I want to give her what she needs, but…I don't want to believe we missed our chance."

"You think she'll come around?"

I don't know, Kenny thought. I can't keep doing this.

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"What?" Jimmy asked, as Jill filled him in on her conversation with Max. "I know he cares about her, Jill."

"She's so confused," Jill sighed. "She's so hurt still, Jimmy. I don't know if she's ever coming back from this. She feels guilty."

"Danny did this. He beat her, nearly killed her and killed all those other people. She needs to get over it."

"Get over it? The emotional scars aren't going anywhere, and I think losing the baby traumatized her. She wanted to be someone else, she abandoned her entire identity. I don't think…She needs help, Jimmy."

"Kenny said they were having dinner tonight."

"That isn't what she needs."

"What do you want to do then? She's 32, an adult."

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Time, Kenny thought, space, as he watched Max come back from the kitchen with two beers. 'Nice place you got here."

Max glanced around the furnished cabin, as she handed him his drink. "I like it."

In the middle of nowhere, he thought. She's going to hide out here. "Yeah?"

"What?" she asked. "If you have something to say to me, just say it."

That I love you, he thought, and that you look incredible in old jeans, purple tank top, and all that hair. That you're breaking my heart. That you're it for me. "Anything in particular you want to hear?"

He's baiting me, Max thought, regarding him thoughtfully. Before Danny came back, I made that decision. To tell him. To try, and then…I'm no good for him or anyone. He thinks he loves me, that's all. He doesn't know this new me anymore then Sam did. Why is he still looking at me like that?

"Max?" he asked in her silence. "You still with me? Take a load off, eat, what?"

"Just nerves, I guess."

"Max, come on. It's you and me, we've done this hundreds of times. I'm not going to do anything to you."

Believe, she thought, regarding him for a long moment. I was going to tell him yes, lets try. Then Danny came back…Do it. Let him know me again. Do it. He loves me, I know he loves me. Plopping down on the couch next to him, she swung herself on top of him, so she was straddling his lap.

"Max?"

Do it, she thought, wrapping herself around him. He loves you, there is something there. I know it. Pressing her lips to his, she leaned in closer and melted into him. Let him love me. Feeling his surprise as he kissed her back, she tilted her head back to deepen the kiss. "I'm yours. I've always been yours."

Kenny felt his chest tighten at her words, as he ran his fingers through her hair. This is Max, my Max. What is she doing? "Max?"

"Take me."

She's lost it, Kenny thought, as he tried to control his reaction to her closeness. This isn't what she wants…I want her. "Max?"

She kissed him again. "Show me how much you love me."

"Max," he groaned, reluctantly pulling back and studying her flushed face. "Max. Wait, Sweetheart. What are you doing?"

"Isn't this what you want?"

"What's going on in here?" he asked, still combing through her hair. "I'm not looking for sex…It's more with you and me. This isn't you."

Max pulled back from him. "You don't know me anymore."

"Yeah, I do. He hurt you, Sweetheart, I get that. He hurt you so much, you wanted to start over, be someone else. That Jimmy and me finding you destroyed that, and made you have to deal with everything again. You're still you, and I love you."

Max gulped back her tears, as Kenny held her tightly. "I know you do. Kenny, I…Before Danny came back, I was…I was going to tell you….Then…Kenny, I."

He hugged her tightly to him. "It's okay."

"It's not okay. I'm not okay. I want to be."

"I'm not going anywhere. I know you need some time, space, but Max, Sweetheart, I love you. I'm here for as long as it takes. What were you going to tell me?"

Max stared at him for a long moment, believing every word he was saying. Tell him. Let him know. "That…I wanted to try this. You and me."

Then Danny, Kenny thought, I hate him. If she didn't kill him, I would have. "You still want to try this?"

Max nodded slowly. "Yeah."

Kenny continued to comb through her long hair, as they held tightly to each other. Nerves, he thought, she's still full of nerves. "You still want to fool around?"

Max smiled despite herself, before kissing him again. "What kind of girl do you think I am?"

"You just jumped me on the couch," he teased, as he kissed her back. "Come here, Sweetheart."

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"Kenny adores her," Jill continued. "And I think they'll end up together. She needs help, Jimmy. Therapy, counseling, something."

"Max won't go to therapy."

"Of course she won't. I know she's said over and over she needs time and space. She shouldn't be living alone in the woods."

"Maybe that is what she needs. She's hurt, Jill. As for Kenny? I saw them together in Seattle, he loves her."

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We should stop, Kenny thought numbly, as they lay on the couch making out. God, she tastes good. What is she doing to me? I can't control myself much longer.

"Come upstairs with me," Max murmured in his ear. "I want you inside me."

"Max?" he groaned, as she kissed him again. "Max?"

She sat up, and pulled her tank top off. "Touch me."

I can't stop, he thought, as he pulled her down to him and devoured her mouth with his. Max, my Max, he thought, as he fiddled with her bra strap. What has gotten into her? What is she doing to me?

Max tossed her hair back, as she unbuttoned his jeans. Yanking them down, she kissed him again. "Touch me."

Ah, Sweetheart, he thought, as they slowly shed the rest of their clothes. I love you, I love you so much. "Come here, Sweetheart."

Max smiled, pushing her hair out of her face, as she straddled him again. "Where else would I be?"

Kenny groaned again, as he pulled her down closer to him. Kissing her, they lost themselves in each other.

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Jill smiled at that. "He's always loved her. He mourned her for a long time…She isn't the same person she was five years ago."

Vulnerable, Jimmy thought, skittish. Rich. "Max is pretty smart, she'll figure out what she wants."

"Did you read this?" Jill asked handing him the paper. "Millions of dollars being donated to women's shelters? Do you think…she inherited a lot of money she doesn't want."

Jimmy skimmed the article. "Anonymous donations…Jill, I wouldn't be surprised."

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"Hey," Kenny said the next morning, as Max rolled over on her side and looked at him bleary eyed. "Morning."

What did we do, she thought, did I really just sleep with him? No, Max thought, it's a good thing, I've never felt anything like I did last night. Oh, I'm not ready for this. Will I ever be ready for this?

"Max?" he asked nervously. "You okay?"

She smiled at him, forcing herself to relax. "Yeah. I am. You?"

I've got everything I want right here, he thought, combing through her hair again. "Yup. Your hair is amazing. I love it this long, this color…I think I have a thing for redheads."

"You never saw me as a blond."

"Blonds are nice too."

Max flicked a piece of her hair back. It is long, she thought, I've never had it this long. God, we did this, we slept together. Are we…Oh, it feels good to be in his arms. I wanted this too, why couldn't we have done this a few years ago? "I think you like all women."

"I more then like you."

And you've made that clear, Max thought, thinking of his sweet words. "I know."

"I'm off today and you're unemployed," he said, tugging her in closer. "Want to hang out? Right here, all day?"

"In bed?"

"You still naked under there?" he asked, pulling her in closer. "Hmm, options, Sweetheart."

Max giggled despite herself, feeling content in his arms. He's sweet, she thought, he loves me…Why didn't we figure this out sooner? "Yeah? Like what?"

She needs to laugh more, he thought, seeing a glimpse of his old friends. "You tell me. I like what you pulled out last night."

She laid her head on his chest, really unsure of where to go next. "It was amazing. Best sex of my life."

Kenny looked down at her for a long moment. "It isn't a one time thing."

She intertwined her fingers with his and squeezed his hand. He wants me, he loves me, and I want him too. "Can we go slowly? Last night was great, and…I want this with you."

Kenny nodded, kissing her again. "We can do anything you want."

Why did we wait so long, Max thought, as he continued to touch her, why? Oh, God what is he doing to me?

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"Max mention this to you?" Jimmy asked a few days later, handing Kenny another article about donations. "This her?"

"What?" Kenny asked, reading it. "No, she…there is a lot she doesn't tell me."

"Meaning?"

Kenny shook his head, thinking of the woman he spent the last four nights with. "There is a lot she keeps inside."

"Are you two involved?"

"Me and Max? We're…starting something."

"Something?" Jimmy repeated. "She's still pretty vulnerable."

No kidding, Kenny thought, she runs hot and cold with me. The sex is amazing, she says and does all the right things. She isn't…Something is missing with he. "Yeah, I know."

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Max frowned, as she continued to type. My story, she thought, I'm pathetic. No one is going to want to read this…what were these editors thinking? A victim. I let him do this to me, and then I ran away. I'm no inspiration to anyone…and I killed him. I can't do this.

"Max?"

"Hey," she said, shutting the computer. "I didn't expect you until later."

Kenny smiled at her, still too thin, he thought, in gym shorts and sweatshirt. "Slow day. What are you doing?"

Max bit her lip, a little unsure she wanted to tell him or anyone. "A magazine wants me to write about what happened, so I'm giving it a shot."

Kenny looked at her for a long moment. "Really? Max, that's great."

"It's not any good. I can't write…I don't like being a victim in it."

"Max," he smiled, combing through he hair. "You're not a victim, Sweetheart. You're a survivor, and I love you."

She smiled back at him. "I know you do."

And you're not going to say it back, Kenny thought, I know that. I could kill him for doing that to you. "Hey, Jimmy showed me an article in the paper about donations to women's shelters."

"Yeah?"

Give me something here, he thought. "Yeah? Is it you? I know you don't want to keep the money. Come on, Max, that's a lot of money."

"I have buckets full of money that I don't want. Those programs are under funded. It's an anyomous donation," Max said quietly, as she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. "I missed you."

He kissed her back, before pulling back to study her for a long moment. "Max?"

"Hmm?" she murmured, kissing him again. "Kenny?"

"You want to get out of here?" he asked. "Get dinner or something?"

"You don't want to be alone with me?"

What is she doing, he thought, as she moved in closer. "Max, Sweetheart?"

"What do you want to talk about?" she sighed, pulling back. "I'm tired of talking, explaining, all of it. I'm fine."

"You are not fine!" he practically shouted, as she jumped back. "God, you flinch away, you're hiding in the middle of the woods, and you're letting yourself waste away! This isn't you! Don't give me that crap about not knowing you either because I do! Max, I love you, but you're driving me crazy."

"What do you want from me?" she shouted back. "You want me to be who I was, but she's gone. I let him beat me, kill my baby, I ran, killed him….You kept telling me you loved me, that you want to be with me….I gave you that! What more do you want?"

"I want you to want it too!" he shouted back. "Max, damn it! Get this through you thick skull, I love you, I've always loved you, but…if it isn't what you want, I don't want to force it with you!"

"I love you too!" she shouted back, before recoiling in surprise at her outburst.