Disclaimer: Don't own BTR
Chapter: 14
Wow...life could really suck sometimes, when you thinks things couldn't get worst...BAM!...It happens and you sometimes which it never had happen like that.
James growned and turn around on his bed, snuuggling closer to his pillow. He sighed and shoot a glaze toward the other side of the room not seeing Carlos on his bed.
What time is it?
He glazed toward the clock in the nightstand and read 7:30 am, he got up stretching his arms in the air, letting out a jawn.
He looked around the room, on the corner he saw his and Carlos suitcase, packed and ready to go.
Hawaii. He wanted to get some vacations but he had a weird filling about it, but what could he do about it? Gustavo had already spend a lot of money on them to just blew it for him.
He walked out of the room, and walked down the stairs and saw the guys sitting on the couch. Everything was quiet gazing at diffirent directions. Carlos was sitting on the corner of the couch and Kendall was sitting beside him.
Carlos looked kind of depress like he didn't sleep at all and kind of thoughtful too. James undertood why, he remember himself hugging a crying Logan close to his chest yesterday. It was obvious that the Latino was upset about it because he didn't mean to say that but the damage was already done and he can't do anything about it. Carlos was wearing a baby blue long sleeve shirt and dark jeans with dark blue converse.
James walked toward them and sat beside Logan, he want to hug him so bad right know. He look so sad and heart broken. He putted a handed on his shoulder squizzing it lightly, this make the brunet looked upgiving him a small smile.
He turned to look at Kendall who was glaring a whole on his head. Carlos saw this and got up walking slowly inside of the bathroom obviously he didn't stand the tension that he created.
This is going to be a long week.
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Carlos looked at himself in the mirrow, letting out a frustrate grown, he wants throw up so bad at the way he looks right know. He looks so ugly, he hate everything. He look so lifeless, his eyes were ugly he have horrible bags under them and dark circles. He was feeling so sad, so anxious. He couldn't be still, he felt like he was shaking with anxiousness. He wanted something so bad but it was taken away from him.
"Oh god...I'm going insane, I hate this..." he mumbled to himself, rubbing his face and sitting on the floor.
He raised his sleeve up and started scratching a scab, soon enough the scab tear off and his fingers fill with blood. He smiled and dugged even deeper making the cut more bloody and deeper. He liked the stinging he felt, he love it and he couldn't help the need for more.
He proceeded with another one doing the same, his smile went wider when he saw more blood and more blood. He actually was amused with it.
Then, he heard a knock on the door.
He growned and stood up grabbing a towel and pressing it to his arm.
"Carlos, sweetie are you okay?" Mrs. Knight concern voice came from the other side of the door.
"Yeah! I will be out in a minute." He opened the faucet and puttted the towel down the water washing the blood away.
He putted his sleeve down and walked out of the bathroom. He looked up and almost jumped out of his skin when he saw Mrs. Knight staring at him with a stern look.
"I know...I know what you were doing inside of there." She said pointing to the bathroom, looking sad.
"You do?" Carlos asked suprise.
"Yeah...go upstairs I gotta talk to you" she ordered quietly and Carlos obey. When he walked past the living room, he looked at his friends who were sitting on the couch staring at him, well except for Logan who had been ignoring him all morning, he sighed when he glazed at Kendall who was giving him a what-did-you-do look. He smiled at him and Kendall relax a litle smiling back. Carlos smile faded when he turned toward James who was giving him a disbelief look.
Mrs. Knight walked inside of her room and closed the door behind her.
"Sit" Carlos obeyed and sat on the edge of the bed while Mrs. Knight stand in front of him crossing her arms over her chest.
"Nurse Lacey called me..." Jennifer stated making the boy looked down.
"I know..." he confessed with a quiet voice. She sighed and sat beside him.
"Roll your sleeves up..." she said looking at his arms. Carlos head shut up with a terrified look on his face.
"B-but M-mrs. Knight..." he protested but just give him the look.
"Do it." She ordered.
He gulped and reached to his left sleeve, he took a deep breath and rolled it up slowly. When his skin was exposed, Mrs. Knight gasped in horror and cover her mouth. He looked down ashamed that his best friend mother, the one that had watched him grow since a little kid, had watched him like this.
"C-carlos this is not healthy..." Mrs. Knight muttered grabbing his hand gently and looked at his arms that were fill with scars, scabs, scratches and cuts. She tried to hold back a tear from falling, this was one of his child, one of his sons, and he was hurt.
"I'm sorry..." Carlos said quietly without looking at her.
"Oh sweetheart..." she exclaimed hugging him tightly. Carlos seemed hesitate at first but hugged her back.
A painful knot formed in Carlos throat, he bitted his lip to keep his tears on bay, crying was for weaks and he didn't want to be weak, he never will, ever again. Not like before when everyone could walk into of him, who could make him filled miserable, who could make him filled useless. He took a deep breath relaxing a little, melting on the hug, hugging her tighter.
"I'm so sorry mama..." he said quietly in a childlike voice breaking the women heart. As soon as he said that, a flashback came to his mind and he quickly pulled away like he was burning on the hug and Mrs. Knight looked at him confused.
"Honey...what is it?" she asked softly to the boy taking his hands on her owns, he looked down and closed his eyes.
"Is it your mom?" She asked softly again. At the sound of his mom, Carlos took a deep breath.
"Is more than that is it?" Mama Knight asked and Carlos finally nodded.
"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked again but Carlos shook his head. She sighed and grabbed the Latino cheek making him looked up at her.
"Ok...I understand...but please don't do that sweetie, please don't hurt yourself...you are to beautiful to that..." she said gently and all Carlos do was smile at her a little making the women smile back.
"I will tried..." he said, he did, he really did want to tried but maybe is going to be too difficult for him, he was sure he wouldn't make it.
"Great...then...let's go have breakfast."
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"Man, I'm so excited!" Kendall exclaimed sitting on one of the sits beside the window. Carlos smiled and sat beside him looking around at the private plane.
"I know is going to be awesome!" Carlos exclaimed throwing his hands in the air.
"Yeah awesome..." James and Logan said at the same time sarcasticly sitting on the sits behind the pair. James sat beside the window and Logan sat by his side. The long and the Latino exchanged confuse glazes and shrugged, starting to talk about how excited the trip is going to be.
James heard the conversation and sighed, he felt dissapoint, dissapoint with his leader and it frustrated him. Kendall was just so gullible! He believe everything Carlos said when everything was a totally, completly lie.
James had always been the kind of guy who could see through a lie or just have this filling when something is going wrong.
He had always know that something was seriously wrong with Carlos. Since he was at least 13 years old the Latino had started acting really weird, he wasn't himself.
He had asked his mom one, but Brooke Diamond just shrugged it off and said that it was just puberty, but he knew that it wasn't that, that it was something else and he was totally right now.
Carlos is hurt.
He grabbed the magazine in front of the sit bag when he felt the plane taking off. He opened the magazine, turning to first page and saw a couple kissing. He made a gagging sound and turn to the next page.
He stopped and lowered the magazine, remembering something that happen two years ago. He hadn't of that since know.
Oh dear lord...
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Flashback
It was a rainy and cold day in St. Paul Minnesota. It was exactly 8:50 pm on Saturaday.
The 15 years old James Diamond had spend his day lying on the couch watching tv and eating popcorns.
Now, you might be wondering, why is a 15 year old spending his Saturday all lonely with nothing to do?
Well that's easy to explain...
Kendall is grounded.
Logan is on a trip visiting his grandmother in Texas.
Carlos said he was busy, weird right?
He shrugged and brought a ahnd full of popcorn to his mouth, but then he heard a knock on the door. James grown and stand up, making his way with a slow pace to the door, then there where more knocks sounding desesparate.
"I'm going!" James exclaimed irritated, he opened the door only to be pushed inside making him fall on his butt.
He looked up and was shocked when he saw who pushed him.
It was Carlos Garcia, he was leaning on the close door looking terrified, the Latino was panting and soaking wet, looking pale as a sheet of paper.
"Dude...are you okay?" James asked concern standing up from the floor and walking toward the short boy.
"W-what?" Carlos asked shaking a little.
"Are you alright? Why are you soaking wet and look like you have been running?" James asked again furrowing his eyebrows in confusion and concern.
"Um...I'm wet because is raining outside...and I-I thught...you were filling lonely so I came running over here." The Latino explained sounding nervous, he gulped when James sent him a look.
"I'm fine..." he assured looking at the brunet in the eye.
"Well then...let's get you dry buddy..." Carlos nodded and followed James who was making his way upstairs.
One hour later
The guys were on the couch watching tv with a blanket in their laps, while they ate popcorns.
Carlos was focus o the tv while James was thinking hard.
"I love this movie!" the short boy said with a huge smile on his face, eyes glue on the tv.
"I know! Is so awe...some..." James said trailing off at the last word when he saw something weird on the Latino neck.
"Is that a hickey on your neck?" Carlos mile faded and he turned to face James looking nervous. The brunet reached with his hand to touched the purple bruise but Carlos back up covering it with his hand.
"Carlos? who did that?" James asked concern dripping from his voice, turning unto protective mode.
"I swear is not what it looks like! Is just a bruise...yesterday...i-in...hockey practice when i-i...tripped I kind of hurt my neck..."the Latino rambled trying to convise his friend.
"B-but-"
"Can I use your bathroom?" Carlos asked quickly cutting the brunet off.
James nodded quietly, the short boy got up and hurried his way to the bathroom letting alone once again a worried James.
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"James, James, James, James..." He snapped out of his trace when he felt a finger pocking him and a boy saying his name over and over and over and over.
"Yeah?" He asked annoying, Carlos and Kendall were still talking.
"You kind of...zoned out...are you alright man?" Logan asked looking at him worridly.
"Yeah...sorry about it..." the tall brunet mumble, closing his eyes.
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(One hour later)
Carlos woke up and looked around, they were still on the plane. He looked at Kendall who was playing with his cellphone. The blond looked up and smile.
"Did you sleep well buddy?" the blond asked kindly, the Latino smiled and nodded streching a little.
"Are we there yet?" Carlos asked.
"No..." Kendall replied as soon as he said that the lights on the plane went off.
"What was that?" asked James on the backseat.
"Hey dude! Could you turn the light on please, is kinda dark back here!" Carlos said to the pilot on the plane but only was responded by silece.
Kendall furrowed his eyebrows curiously and opened the window, his eyes went wide when he saw smoke coming from one part of the plane.
"Um Carlos?" the Latno turned around facing the boy with a questioning look on his eyes. The blond point to the window and Carlos leaned forward tolook through it. His eyes went wide and a gasp scaped his lips.
"Is that supposed to happen?" asked Carlos.
"No! Is not supposed to happen!" screamed Logan starting to panic.
James noticed this and grabbed Logan hand and held it tight but that didn't stopped the plane from collapcing.
For James everything was spinning, he could bearly heard Kendall and Carlos screams and Logan gasp of panics. When the plane finally crash things went completly dark.
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I hope this didn't suck guys.
Love ya and please review.