trigger warning: some almost rape stuff

Edward

October 31, 2016

"I'm gonna find a bathroom." Bella said quietly from my side, her words slurring together. I looked down at her as her feet started to move faster with the rest of her body, her head rocking back and forth and her eyes wide and glassy. She doesn't look too good.

"Bella," I said, my hand reaching to stop her. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," She garbled as her feet propelled her forward. She slammed her hip on the corner of the ping pong table, making everything jostle. "I'm fine." She continued onward.

She drank too much. My stomach tied into knots. I should've stopped her. I should've stopped the game awhile. I wished we never gone out. We could've been cuddling on the couch watching a scary movie or something right now.

I should follow her. I thought and turned to grab the handle of Lenny. I needed to make sure she was okay, make sure she drank some water.

"I'll get her." Mike volunteered.

"No," I snapped, resentment and irritation flaming in my chest like a crackling bonfire. "You've done plenty tonight."

But, he was already out the door, his black costume cape fluttering behind him. I followed as quickly as I could, dragging Lenny behind me. I chased his cape around Lauren's gigantic maze of a house. We went down a back hallway and I watched him turn a corner. I rounded the same corner and came face-to-face with a flight of stairs.

Dammit. I scowled and gripped the handle of Lenny with one hand and the handle bar of the stairs with the other. Stairs were an invention of the devil to torture my already crap lungs. I usually just avoided them whenever possible.

Bella's up there. I thought, my eyebrows furrowing. I have to make sure she's okay. A flash of panic shot through me like a lightning bolt, my heart beat thrumming hard in my chest. And she's up there with Mike Newton.

I inhaled through my nose, stepped up the first step, exhaled, lifted Lenny to join me, and then inhaled to do it all over again. I was halfway up when I had to stop, moving too fast and not pausing long enough between steps. My tight chest felt tighter, the space for my lungs to fit growing smaller and smaller until they exploded out of me.

Mike's skeezy, douchebag face kept me going though. I didn't want him anywhere near Bella. He made my skin crawl with his predatory gaze. He looked like he wanted to eat her.

By the time I got up to the top, my vision was going hazy around the edges and I was gasping air like I had been drowning. I fished my rescue inhaler of albuterol out of the front pocket of my jeans and sucked on it as I looked around the hallway of Lauren's second floor, trying to figure out which door led to a bathroom.

"Bella," I heard Mike say and moved towards it – a door at the end to the left. The lights were off, but the door was cracked and I pushed myself in.

I froze at the sight in front of me, horror and disgust and panic and rage washing over me like I was standing in a tsunami. It stole my breath away and stopped my heart. But, I couldn't move.

Bella laid on a bed, her jaw opened and slack and her eyes closed. Her dress had been pushed all the way up her pale thighs and her panties – these black lacy things – were laid like a small puddle on ground next to Mike's feet.

Mike, himself was standing over her, his hands on his belt as he undid it. "You're so fucking nasty." He whispered into the dark, the hand not on his belt gripping one of Bella's thighs. "I'm going to fuck you raw."

I realized what was happening as Mike wrenched Bella's legs open.

He's going to rape Bella.

I felt myself begin to shake as anger pulsed through in waves. I absolutely vibrated with every surge, my skin felt like it was on fire and my vision tinged red. "What the fuck?" I growled and stepped into the room.

Mike stiffened and turned towards me, his belt buckle undone. His eyes were swimming and he teetered, obviously intoxicated. "Dude-,"

He didn't get the rest of his sentence out. I didn't let him. My fist connected with his teeth before he could get another word through them. I felt my knuckles crunch against his face as I threw my whole weight into the punch, yanking Lenny down by the tubing in the process.

It threw Mike off balance and he crashed into a dresser. I followed, dragging an unwilling Lenny with me. I grabbed the collar of Mike's shirt and threw him to the ground, my fist coming down hard on his face. "Don't you fucking touch her." I growled as I smashed his nose in.

Mike's momentary shock wore off and even in his inebriated state, he managed to get a punch in, which I took to my chest. I gasped with it, fire radiating in my chest. "Fucking oxygen boy." He garbled and started to retaliate, one hand finding my shirt the other finding the cannula, which he jerked off of my face.

With a shove, I was on the ground and he wound back his fist for a punch, a small smile pitching his lips ups. "I've been looking forward to this." Mike said.

My hand reached around for my cannula as my lungs protested loudly with the weight of a person on top of me and no supplemental oxygen, my breaths coming in short and gasping as I couldn't find enough air. Pain blasted up the left side of my chest, radiating into my shoulder. Get off of me. I thought. Bastard.

There was a streak and all of a sudden Mike was thrown back off of me and Jacob's face replaced where Mike's was. "You okay?"

I nodded and breathed, my fingers finally wrapping around the tube. "He," Inhale. "roofied," inhale "Bella."

Jacob's eyes darted to Bella as he connected the dots. His eyes flashed and his face twisted with anger. "Go help Bella." He said. "I got Mike."

I affixed the tubing to my nostrils and looped it back over my ears before scrambling to my feet and righting Lenny back on his wheels with me.

I moved to Bella, picking up her panties and sliding them back on. I righted her dress that that Mike pushed up and then leaned over to make sure she was still breathing, since she was so still. She was. Thank God. I slipped my arm around her shoulders and lifted her up, gathering her against me.

"So, Mike." Jacob unkindly shoved him to his feet. "You know what we do to rapists on this team, right?"

"I don't know, Chief." Mike garbled, his fists clenched.

Jacob pushed Mike towards the door. "Well you're going to find out. Right fucking now."

They both left, leaving Bella and I alone in this random guest bedroom of Laurens'. The adrenaline from earlier wore off and the gravity of the situation started to take hold. I was almost too late. Tears filled my eyes as panic twisted up my stomach into tight knots as I imagined what would've happened if I took two extra minutes on the stairs or couldn't find the room right away or went as slow as my lungs wants me to. I'm going to fuck you raw. Mike's sour, horrible words ricocheted in my head and my arms clenched tighter around Bella.

"Bella, you're safe now." I whispered as I ran my hand down her face and pressed my lips to her forehead. "I'm right here, okay? I'm sorry I was too slow to get to you first. I'm so sorry."

She grunted, her eyelids fluttering open. Her normal, shiny brown eyes were flat and glazed. "Edward." She whispered.

"I'm right here." I breathed. "I'm sorry I let this happen."

"Edward." She whispered again and picked up her head, her eyes focusing momentarily on me, tears filling them. "I want to go home." She breathed. "I want to go home."

"Alright," I nodded. "Let's take you home. Can you stand?"

She looked like she was processing my words, her eyebrows furrowing. "Stand?" She repeated and then moved robotically like she had been ordered to. I helped with my arms around her, holding up most of her weight as she got to her feet.

"Edward," She breathed as she gripped on my shirt teetering around like she was dizzy and tears flooding down her face. "I think I've been drugged."

I held her up, the knots in my stomach making it hard to breathe. "I know." I'm so sorry.

"Don't leave me." She said, her voice small and scared.

"I won't, okay?" I rubbed her arm as I pulled her in close. "I'll be right here."

"Don't leave me." She repeated, her eyes sliding shut as she rested her head on my chest. "I need you."

October 31, 2016

I managed, somehow, to get Bella and Lenny downstairs. Bella hung on me like I was a life raft and she was afraid to let go, her fingers clenching my sweater and her jaw set with focus. I held Lenny and he ka-klunked down the stairs with us as I coached and encouraged her through each step, my eyes never leaving her glassy ones.

"I need to sit." She announced once we got to the bottom and then promptly tipped over and smashed against the wall, sliding down to find the step. I gripped her arm so that she didn't accidently tip forward.

"Are you okay?" I asked, but her eyes slid shut and she just leaned over, trusting my shoulder would be there to catch her.

"Edward!" Jacob called from somewhere in the house.

"I'm here." I said as I circled my arms protectively around Bella, I rubbed m

"Are you okay?" Jacob rounded the corner, his body smashing into a wall. His wide, black eyes took us both in as we sat on the stairs. "Is Bella okay?"

"Bella needs to get home." I said and looked at my hand that I punched Mike Newton's face with, a bruise blooming over three out of my four knuckles. "I'm fine, otherwise."

"I can drive." Jacob said. "I had one drink and then stuck to water the rest of the night since Lauren was getting trashed."

"Will you carry Bella? I don't think she can stand."

Jake stepped forward and slid an arm under Bella's shoulders and then another under her knees and lifted her up like she weighed nothing. I fixed her skirt and followed Jacob through Lauren's house out into the chilly air. The cold socked me in the stomach, and I could feel where Mike punched me in the chest as I focused on inhaling in through my nose and out of my mouth.

"I need to stay with her." I said from the backseat of Jake's car as we drove towards Bella's house, her head on my lap and her fingers laced with mine. Out of my peripherals, I could see the streetlights of Forks proper, but I kept my eyes on Bella's face. "I can't leave her tonight."

Jake nodded solemnly, his gaze meeting mine in the rearview mirror. "What do you need?"

I glanced at Lenny's meter. I was at half, so about another four hours. "Two tanks, some clothes, my meds and my mask." I glanced at Bella. "And for you to cover for me with Mom because she'll be pissed when I don't come home."

"I got you, Bro."

"Thanks Jake."

We pulled up to the Swan residence and Jake dutifully got Bella out of of the car. I walked ahead of him and opened the door with the house key I pickpocketed out of Bella's jacket and turned on the lights of her house so Jake could see where she was going.

"Where's Charlie?" Jake asked as he got Bella in, her head resting against his shoulder.

"Hunting." I said. "With Mike Newton's dad."

Jake just shook his head as he turned for the stairway. "If they only knew."

Bella's eyes fluttered open suddenly. "Sick." Bella slurred. "I'm gonna be sick."

Jacob double-timed his steps, taking the stairs two at a time so Bella wouldn't ruin his leather jacket.

"Put her in the tub." I gasped as I followed as quickly as my shitty lungs would allow up the stairs, Lenny clunking behind me as I let his wheels bounce against the wood with each step. I paused halfway again to catch my breath and watched Jacob emerge from the bathroom sans Bella. He quickly descended the stairs, stopping at the same one I was parked at.

I looked at him, really looked at him for what felt like the first time that evening. The panic and horror and shock of the evening washed over me again, flipping my stomach and I felt myself choke up as I tried to simultaneously pull in air. "Jacob." I said, the enormity of the evening hitting me like a wrecking ball. My hands flew to my forehead. "Bella was almost raped."

"She's going to be okay." He said, his hand finding my shoulder. "She has you taking care of her."

I sucked in air through my nose and exhaled it out of my mouth. "I let this happen." My breathing went hard again as I started to panic, the world going soft around the edges. "This is my fault."

"No, no." Jake shook his head. "Mike's a bastard. He was going to try something with or without you standing in the way. Don't blame yourself." Both of his hands found my shoulders and he forced me to look into his black eyes. "You just have to be there for her, right now. Okay?

I nodded and forced myself to calm down. "Be there for her?" I whispered.

"One hundred percent." He said. "You can't get all wrapped up in your head, right now. Okay?"

I sucked in a deep breath, my lungs protesting against the force. "Okay." I nodded. "Okay." I sucked in another breath and rubbed my chest, feeling the bruise from Mike's punch. "Thanks Jake."

Jake smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Anytime, bro." He turned and hopped down the stairs. "I'll be right back with your things." He called over his shoulder.

I turned and went the opposite way, ascending the rest of the stair and getting myself into the small bathroom. Bella was telling the truth. She vomited. Unfortunately, the position Jake left her in meant she got sick all over her dress and got some in her hair. I'll have to clean her up.

She had also fallen unconscious again, her arms wrapped around her as she curled into a ball against the side of the tub.

I spun around and went to her room, finding a pair of old pajama shorts and a t-shirt that looked like it was meant for sleeping in in her dresser after some light excavating. I moved back to the bathroom and placed everything down on the cover of the toilet.

"Bella," I said and knelt down next to the tub and placing my hand on her shoulder. "Bella, my love, I have to get you cleaned up. Can you wake up for a moment?"

"Edward," She breathed, her eyelids fluttering. She looked at the vomit on her dress, her fingers coming up to grip the material. "Don't look at me." She shook her head. "I'm gross."

"Well, it's a good thing your boyfriend is a cancer survivor." I smiled gently and removed her boots and socks. "You get pretty used to the throw up after the first thirty times of doing it."

Her eyes drifted to me and her hand came out. I gripped her fingers, even though they had chunks of vomit on them. "I love you." She garbled.

"I love you too." I said. "Can you stand?"

"Stand?" She repeated and started to move like she was going to to get to her feet, but then slumped over. "No," She shook her head. "No stand."

"Okay," I said. "Is it okay if I take off your dress? I need to get you cleaned up."

She nodded. "Mhmm." She held her arms straight up like a child so I could slip her dress over her head. I was careful to contain the mess, so I didn't accidently get any more on her.

I hadn't seen Bella naked yet.

We had gotten very close to that part on multiple occasions, but I wasn't entirely ready to go all the way. I was a virgin and I want my first time with Bella to be special. And I was apprehensive. I didn't want my bad lungs and scarred up body to ruin it.

I imagined it, however. Late at night, when I could sleep. While I daydreamed during class. When I would see that glint of lust in Bella's eyes when she would kiss me. I imagined her warm, naked body up against mine, being able to take her uninhibited. Being able to feel her as we connected like only two people in love should.

Now, I just felt hollow and heavy. Guilt weighed on me, making all my limbs feel like they weighed a million pounds as I stood up and pulled the handheld showerhead out of its holder and started the water, being careful not to shock her with a blast of cold. You should've protected her.

I washed her hair for her, carefully rinsing out the throw up and then rinsing off her arm, where she nailed it too.

"Edward," She mumbled again, her eyebrows furrowing as I held up her pale arm, inspecting it to make sure I got everything.

"I'm right here." I said and rubbed her hand.

"Fuck Mike Newton." She said intensely.

I nodded, my stomach churning. "Agreed."

She shifted and moved and suddenly she was on her feet, her hand on the wall of the shower, the other on me as she gripped my shirt. Her body was so slight and pale, she blended in with the white subway tile of her shower. "And fuck cancer." She scrunched her face like she was pissed.

Without thinking about it, I laughed at her as I held her up and carefully turned off the shower. "Also agreed."

"And fuck Will Ferrell." She mumbled. "I hate that guy. He can't act."

"That's where I have to draw the line." I joked and helped her over the lip of the tub.

She reached behind her and undid her bra, which was now soaking wet and let it drop and then shimmied her panties to the floor. I averted my eyes as she stood in the middle of her bathroom naked.

"Fuck 'em all." She garbled as I handed her the clothes I had gathered for her. She struggled into her t-shirt and I helped her get her limbs through the proper holes, feeling the heat in my face when I would accidentally catch glimpses. "You're not allowed to die, okay?" She said, her eyebrows still furrowed and her face red as she slapped the hem of her shorts.

"Okay," I said as I led her with my arm wrapped around her to her room. "I'm not allowed to die."

I got her all the way into bed, where she slipped into the purple bedspread.

"I mean it." She whispered. "You're not allowed to leave me."

"Okay." I ran my fingers down her face and tucked the blanket around her. "Sleep now, okay?"

"Okay." She gripped my hand as she sighed. "Don't leave me."

"I won't." I whispered. I promise.

October 31, 2016

I heard the front door open but didn't move from my space next to Bella on her bed. I was on my phone, Googling the after effects of Rohypnol so I knew what to expect in the morning and I listened to Bella's soft breaths as she slept, letting the slow rhythm calm me down as worry laced through me.

Jacob clunked up the stairs and came into Bella's bedroom with my blue concentrator under one arm and a Target bag of clothes in the other. He tossed me the bag and I opened it up to a new outfit, my toothbrush, my mask and my AM/PM divider of pills.

"Bro, I said tanks." I whispered so I didn't wake Bella.

"This means you don't have to rush home tomorrow." He said and set it up next to the bed next to me, throwing me the cannula. "Also tanks are too loud to sneak out of the house."

"Did Mom catch you?"

"No." He said. "Mom was asleep."

There was a moment of hard silence as Jake got on the floor and plugged in the concentrator under Bella's nightstand. I switched to that cannula and turned it on, filling the quiet with the low hum of the motor and the bubbling of the humidifier.

"How is she?" He asked.

"She has very strong opinions on Will Ferrell, apparently." I said with a small smile. "Other than that, I think she'll be okay."

He sat on Bella's floor, his elbows on his knees and shook his head. "Tonight was supposed to be fun." He tapped his heel on Bella's hardwood. "Damn Mike Newton."

"What did you guys do to him?"

"Held him under the water of the hot tub until he cried." Jacob ran his fingers through his hair. "I don't think he'll be bothering her anymore." He snorted. "If he knows what's good for him."

I looked at Bella who had curled into a little ball, her fingers clenched together next to her face like she was trying to pray really hard. Her nose scrunched and then relaxed.

A million regrets ran through me, filling me up, threatening to pour over. They made my skin feel suffocating, like it was too tight on my body. "I should've been there to protect her."

"Edward," Jake groaned. "You were there."

"I wasn't fast enough." I scowled and pulled my knees to my chest. "I'm never fast enough. Or good enough. Or well enough." I sighed and pressed my hand to my forehead as I watched Bella shift around.I let myself fall silent, the only sounds coming from my concentrate as it clicked with my breaths and whirred with the motor. They should've just pulled the plug. I thought. Save everyone so much grief.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up to Jacob. "You done?"

I sucked in a hard breath a winced. "Yeah." I let it out. "I'm done."

"Okay." He said. "You know that Bella loves you, right?"

"Yeah."

"And I love you, right?"

"Yeah." I looked at the bruise on my hand.

"And-,"

"Mom and Dad and Rache and Becks love me too." I finished for him.

"So…"

"…stop with the 'woe is me' crap?" I asked.

"You got it." He squeezed my shoulder and jammed his hands into his jacket.

"I wish I could just be strong." I said. "Like you."

Something flashed in his eyes. "You are, Edward." He looked at me. "You're the strongest person I know."

So, I wanted Edward to be a hero and not a perpetual victim lol heNCE these chapters. Hold onto your hats because we're going snuggie-levels of soft for the next part