Hi :) Super fast update for you. It isn't the longest chapter, but I did update in one day, so I guess that makes it okay :) I know I should probably be studying, but all of your reviews were so sweet that I couldn't stop myself :) At first I wanted to make the chapter longer and update in a couple of days but a sweet anon on tumblr convinced me to update tonight. You know who you are :) Leaving you guys with a cliffhanger would have been mean anyway :) For suggestions: don't be afraid to talk to me :) I love it when I can meet some of you :) so be sure to PM me or twitter: NayaPLL or tumblr: manonnaya . tumblr :) Enjoy
She heard Santana let out a small gasp just before their lips crashed together. Brittany couldn't help but smile into the kiss, stroking with her thumb over Santana's face. Santana, who seemed rather surprised at the sudden turn of events, finally seemed to catch on what was happening and deepened the kiss, softly slipping her tongue inside of Brittany's mouth. Their tongues swirling around fighting for dominance, forgetting the fact that probably the whole café was staring at them, including the two guys in the corner and the small bartender. Santana, who pulled away first, flushed and looked away from Brittany's gaze.
"Wow, Santana. You were absolutely amazing. I forgot how good of singer you were." Quinn said.
Everybody applauded, but Santana seemed out of her comfort zone. It was probably because there were still some tears in her eyes from her emotional song. Brittany was proud. That was the only thing that was on her mind now. It felt like they were finally making progress. But Brittany knew that Santana still wasn't there. She understood the meaning of the song. Santana wanted to give her all of the love in the world, but she was scared. Scared because that bitch called Jenna had used her in such an awful way. Brittany grabbed Santana's hand in hers and gave it a small squeeze. To let the brunette know that she understood and that she was proud. And mostly that she was willing to wait. Wait and fight for Santana, to help her get over those fears and to come out stronger, together. She glanced over at Santana, who was already staring back at her. The brunette simply nodded, but it was enough. Brittany now knew that she understood. She got what Brittany was trying to say by that simple squeeze of a hand.
"Thank you." Santana uttered at Quinn's compliment.
Rachel stepped on the podium and she grabbed the microphone.
"I think we can all agree that that was an exquisite performance, Santana. It was beautiful. Now, onto the more important part of this sing-off, the voting. I want to repeat that you should vote for the performance you liked the most, not the person you like the best. Now raise your hand with the performance that you liked the best. Who votes for my, if I can say so myself, flawless rendition of New York State of mind?"
Brittany glanced around the room to see who voted for Rachel, whose performance was indeed very good. Tina, Kurt, Marley, Ryder and Rachel herself voted for her. Not long enough to get enough votes to win.
"Okay, Santana won. Can we now get the fuck out of here? I'm done with this café." Puck stated annoyed.
Rachel looked disappointed to say at least. She gave everyone who hadn't voted for here a death-glare to then stare at Santana. Brittany expected the small brunette to scream at Santana that she didn't deserve to win, but it was the opposite. She rose up her hand for a handshake.
"Congratulations, Santana. You were amazing. I'm truly impressed. You deserved the win."
"Thank you, Berry. You were pretty great yourself." Rachel nodded and then turned around and walked away.
"That was probably the hardest thing for her to do. Admit that someone might sing better or at least the same level must be hard for the famous Berry." Santana said to Brittany.
"Yeah. I never really knew someone who could sing better than her. You were amazing, Santana." Brittany said. They were only standing with the two of them. The rest of the group was paying their drinks at the bar or they were already outside waiting to leave.
"Thanks, Brittany. I really meant it. I sang that song for you up there. I hope you understood." Santana squeezed Brittany's hand. She had forgotten that their hands were still intertwined.
"I guess."
"Let's just talk later okay?" Santana said and she gave the blonde a small smile. Brittany grinned back. Did Santana just proposed herself that she wanted to have a real talk about the both of them? Santana pulled at her hand for them to go outside.
"You are a really good singer, Santana." Tina said.
"Thanks Tina." Santana said.
Some people congratulated Santana on her amazing voice before they finally got everyone in the cars and left.
"I'm so happy that Rachel lost. You should have seen her face when she knew that she had lost. I would have paid a lot of money to get a picture of that face. Thank you, Santana for finally beating her. It was about time. Her ego was seriously getting out of hand." Quinn said when they were sitting in the car.
"I know. Gosh. Did you know that she actually asked me to perform on my own wedding?" Kitty said.
"No way?" Quinn said, a little shocked.
"Yes. A couple of months ago she came up to me. At first, she congratulated me with the engagement, so I just thought she was being nice. But then she started to talk about the wedding arrangements. At that point, Ryder and me were engaged for exactly a week. We hadn't even start to think about wedding arrangements, but Rachel sure didn't want to miss out. She then hinted about how cool it would be if there was a live band to perform whole night. I just kind of agreed, not getting what she was hinting at. But then she proposed that she would sing at our wedding. I declined and I hoped that it would have stopped there, but it sure as hell didn't. She sent me weekly emails containing mp3-files of her singing. I had to get a new email address just because she spammed me from multiple accounts. It freaked me out."
Everyone laughed in the car. That really sounded like something Rachel would do.
"I just hope she doesn't surprise me with a sudden performance of her as a wedding gift, because then I will have to kick her out and I'm not even kidding." Kitty stated.
After they chatted some more about random things, they finally arrived at the houses. They all part ways, but Brittany's hand was still clutching to Santana's. Santana only let go when they did alone again in the bedroom, staring at each other, not really know what to say.
"Well, uhm." Santana started, but she remained silent after that again.
"What did you want to say?" Brittany tried.
"Look, Brittany. You know that I'm not good with this stuff, okay? I just –"
"Just try, San. I'll try to understand what you mean, okay?"
Santana turned away from her and was pacing up and down the room, nervous.
"Brittany, I –" Santana wasn't even making eye contact with Brittany anymore. Her hands were shaking and she was staring at the ground.
"Santana. Just relax. It's just me here, okay." Brittany grabbed Santana's right hand in hers and used her left hand to make Santana look in her eyes.
"It's just me. See. You don't have to be nervous around me. Say what you want to say."
"But it's so hard." Santana looked finally back.
"I know. You know what, I'll go first. I like you Santana, a lot. And you might be right; I don't love you just yet. That whole projecting shit you were talking about might have some truth behind it." Brittany laughed and Santana seemed to relax a little bit.
"But I do like you. I like your smile. I like your eyes. I like the dimples in your cheeks when you smile. I like your voice. I like how you sing. I like your boobs. I like you, Santana. A lot. And not just because I was lonely after what Sam did to me. I'm not looking for a rebound. You're not just someone who happens to be there to fill the void that I felt after Sam. I want you. All of you. All of the drama. All of the cute moments we would have together. All the moments we could share. And yes all of the fights. I want it all. And I want it with you." Brittany spoke truly from her heart. Deep down she prayed that this wouldn't freak out Santana. But she had to get this off her chest. And she didn't care that Santana was scared."
"I know you're scared. Hell, I'm scared too. Sam screwed me up too. I've been such a mess here. But I just think that maybe we could be scared together. As long as we work together we can make it. Or at least, that's what I want." Brittany said when Santana still hadn't said anything.
"And I know this all ended as fake. As some job for you and some payback for me but it has changed. I know it and you know it. It's not fake anymore. This is real." Brittany motioned between both of their bodies.
"Please say something, Santana. You're freaking me out." Brittany let out a nervous laugh, trying to read what was going on in Santana's mind.
"I like you too." Santana whispered.
"Really?" Brittany whispered back.
"Yes. I really like you. You make me smile every single moment of the day. You have such a good, pure heart and it makes people around you happy. You make me happy. But I don't deserve you, Brittany. I'm messed up. I've been messed up ever since my mom kicked me out of her home; maybe I was messed up before that. But I just know that you deserve better than me. You deserve someone who can make you happy, every single moment of everyday. Someone who makes you breakfast on bed every single morning just to see your beautiful smile. Someone who makes your gorgeous blue eyes shine even more than they already do. And as much as I wish I were that person, I'm not."
"But honey, you don't see it, do you?" Santana, who had averted her eyes, looked up to the blue eyes again.
"What do you mean?"
"Two imperfect people can have a perfect relationship. Everybody is messed up. Everybody has baggage. The challenge is to find someone who doesn't care."
"But I'm just so scared, Brittany. I'm so scared that if I give in, be something real, that I'll end up losing you. I can't lose you. I just can't." Santana's eyes started tearing up.
"You won't lose me, Santana. I'm not going anywhere."
"I know that, Brittany. But what if I mess this up too? Just like I have messed up every single relationship I've had in my life?"
"I can't promise you that we're going to work. I can't promise you we are going to be perfect. I can't promise you that we'll live happily ever after, because that's not how the world works. You know that and I know that. I can promise you that I'm willing to wait. I'm willing to wait and work for this relationship because that is how much you mean to me. We can take it slowly. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. We can do a test drive. We could try how we would work as a couple. Heck, we've been doing that the whole time, but now we can try it out for ourselves. See how the shoe fits and if it doesn't work out, then that's okay. No hard feelings if you still decide to back the hell out after that. Would you be up for that?" Santana slowly nodded.
"Slow. I can do slow." Santana whispered.
"So can I finally kiss you now?" Brittany smiled before she leant in. Since the brunette was a little bit smaller than her, she had to look a little down. She closed her eyes and closed the gap. A current of electricity ran through Brittany's body when she felt Santana's tongue slip in between her lip. Brittany couldn't process the couple next minutes. All she knew that suddenly Santana was straddling her on their bed, their bodies flushed against each other. The kiss was no longer soft and slow, it was raw and passionate. Brittany's hands trailed over Santana's lower back and she gave Santana's perfect ass a small squeeze. Santana moaned loud into her mouth and Brittany squeezed even harder. Brittany's hands left Santana's ass and began fidgeting with the hem of Santana's t-shirt. Suddenly, before the blonde could process, Santana had rolled off of her. Brittany immediately missed the warmth of her body, but mostly she was just confused to what just happened.
"That wasn't slow, at all." Santana laughed.
"I don't really care about slow anymore." Brittany pleaded.
Santana let out a loud laugh. "It was your idea, Brittany."
"Yeah, well, I'm not a very big fan of my plan anymore. Slow is boring." Brittany tried to grab Santana's hand, but she was too far away.
"Brittany." Santana glared at Brittany. "We were going to take this slow and whatever we were just doing isn't slow."
"Fine." Brittany grunted loud. "You're going to be my death one day, you do know that, right?"
"Let's hope that isn't true, babe."
Brittany stared at Santana, who was sitting at the end of the bed. She saw Santana slightly flushed after she heard what she said herself.
"Babe?" Brittany teased.
"Yeah, I don't know, whatever, I won't call you that if –" Santana stammered
"No, I like it." Brittany beamed. Babe, she could get used to that term in private.
"Okay. I'm going to take a shower, okay?" Santana said.
"Wait." Brittany said. She rose herself from her bed and placed a peck onto Santana's lips.
"Now you can go." Brittany winked.
Santana simply smiled back and walked into the bathroom. Pretty soon Brittany could hear the water running in the shower. For once, Brittany tried not to overanalyse the situation with Santana. They were taking things slow. Slow was good, right? Slow was at least better than nothing. She would rather have slow Santana then no Santana at all. It surprised her that Santana hadn't run out of the door when she was rambling before. Brittany could barely remember all the words that she uttered to Santana. But she did however remember the words that Santana had said to her. Santana liked her. She really liked her. Butterflies swirled around in Brittany's stomach when she remembered Santana calling her babe.
"Britt. I'm done. You can go in the shower now if you want to."
"Okay, thanks, babe." Brittany teased as she crossed Santana in the doorway.
Brittany showered quickly. When she got of the shower, she suddenly realized that she forgot to bring her clean clothes into the bathroom. That left only one thing left to do. She had to go out in the bedroom in her underwear. Brittany really didn't care that much. She thought it was like wearing her bikini, so she stepped out of the bathroom. She looked at Santana's eyes, which trailed all over her body.
"Uhm, Britt. You aren't wearing any clothes." Santana stammered.
"Yeah. I'm sorry. I forgot to bring my clean clothes into the bathroom. Does it bother you, Santana?" Brittany teased. She could see how Santana was struggling at not staring at her long legs.
"Not at all." Santana stuttered out.
"Sure." Brittany snickered out. She turned around to give Santana a good view of her ass.
She grabbed a dress out her closet.
"Should I wear this?" She asked Santana. The brunette's reaction time was too slow. Santana had been staring at her ass. Santana flushed when she noticed that she was busted. Brittany grinned. She loved how she was making the girl fidget.
"Yeah, sure. Seems like a good dress."
"Okay, thanks." Brittany said. She saw Santana's eyes flash one more time to her boobs and then look away on her phone, flustered.
The rest of the evening was spent in peace. They ate César salad and the rest of the evening they spent talking about the famous sing-off, teasing Rachel at her loss and congratulating Santana on her win. Soon enough, they were back in their room alone again. They got dressed in their pyjamas and slipped under the blankets.
"I'm really proud of you, San." Brittany whispered.
"Why?" Santana whispered back. She couldn't actually see the other girl, just because it was so dark in the room, but she felt the stare of the brunette on her.
"I'm proud of you for so many reasons. How you told me about your past and Jenna and your parents. Because I know how bad it hurt. And for performing that song and then deciding not to run away when I threw all of my feelings at you. That you were stronger than your fear and actually did not run away, like you would have done a couple of weeks ago. So yes, I'm proud of you. Proud that you actually want to take things slow with me. So thank you, Santana. I had a really good day." Brittany placed her hand on Santana's cheek and brought their lips together one more time. Santana didn't have to say anything anymore. She had done enough. She pressed a small kiss onto Santana's lips and whispered: "Goodnight, Santana. Sleep tight."
"Goodnight Britt-Britt."
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