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This had to be the hardest decision he'd ever face in his entire life.
A few weeks after he was first appointed Prime he had to make a decision which almost killed four dozen of his troops because it meant the citizens of Iacon would survive a day longer.
He had to choose giving up his old life to help save Cybertron.
He chose to send Sentinel Prime off into space and fight the final battle himself which ultimately ended with Sentinel's death and the destruction of Cybertron, as well as Megatron's escape from the planet and his pursuit of the All Spark.
He had sacrificed citizens, comrades, and himself multiple thousands of times because it meant the mass number of others would survive.
He once surrendered himself and was tortured by Decepticons for three joors because in doing that, he enabled the rest of his Autobots to escape and come back stronger. Three joors of being chained and stabbed, shocked, poked and proded at, punched, kicked. His Autobots eventually found him and brought him home, but he never once gave up a single piece of information to the enemy, no matter what they threatened him with. He was slave to no one; not Megatron, nor Sentinel, nor Primus himself.
He watched what he thought was the love of his life almost die at the hands of Starscream.
He gave up what he thought was the love of his life for the sake of the Autobots, and the greater good.
The things he had done still haunted him at night; the things he had done would haunt any human alive into offlining themselves just to get away from the memories.
But this? Nothing would ever compare to how hard this was for him. How much inner turmoil he felt, the pros that outweighed the cons, and the cons that battled back against the pros with vigour.
To tell or not to tell Jessica about what they really were.
The government had been opposed to her coming to base in the first place, saying that she was a simple civilian of Earth who wasn't asking or offering to be brought into a war that she wasn't currently concerned with. But, by some grace of God or Primus, they managed to get her here. If it was up to Optimus, they would've brought her here the day after he met her. There was that feeling in his tanks - something he had never experienced before. There was an underlying need to protect her. To remove her from any and all situations that posed a threat to her safety and health, and hold her as tightly as he could without harm. To just be around her, no matter what they were doing.
Even Orion Pax had never felt something like this before. With Arial, yeah they had loved each other, but when he became Optimus Prime and she was turned into Elita One they grew apart. Elita turned into more of a trusted comrade. The love they shared had slowly disappeared until one day it was nonexistent. They came to the conclusion that maybe it wasn't supposed to happen. It wasn't meant to be. It discouraged him at first - back on Cybertron it was every mechling and femmeling's dream to have a family... to find your perfect match. He and Arial had been together for so long without problem or complaint that he just assumed it was her. After he found out it wasn't, he didn't think he'd ever find that one femme. So instead he gave himself to the Autobot cause, looking for ways to end or fix the war. After he and his team left Cybertron for Earth he completely wiped the even idea from his processor of finding and starting a family. That was simply a thought he'd left behind eons upon eons ago, back home as a young Prime.
The day they met hadn't been important to him at first - it had started out hard anyways. The youngest set of twins were beginning to complain yet again about how they couldn't return home. Optimus was on his wits' end with those two. Major Lennox had been wanting to go for a visit to his family's place of residence, but after a Decepticon was spotted and an Energon detector was triggered not too far from his home town, Optimus thought it best that he and Ironhide accompany him, at least for a little while. Sideswipe was meant to come in Optimus's place so that he could return and keep watch over the base once the frontliner returned from his recon mission. But then he walked through that door, into the Lennox's household and suddenly that day became one of the most important days of his life.
Something about those beautiful blue eyes made his spark dance and something in his tanks groan. He loved the way the hazel flecks in her eyes seemed to glow gold when she smiled, or how she got two very miniscule dimples on her cheeks when she laughed. He adored the way she always worried for everybody else and their safety, and how she was willing to give something up to make something else better for someone. He admired the way that - despite the fact that he knew she detested it here - she always put on a smile around others on base and greeted everyone she passed; he respected the way she did everything in her power to not dump all of her problems and thoughts unto anyone and instead tried to deal with it herself privately - but he didn't want her to. He wanted her to go to him with everything and let him help solve all of her problems.
He wanted to lay with her at the end of the day and feel the tension in her shoulders slowly disappear until she lay slack beside him. He wanted to be the first one she saw in the morning - to be the one she retold all of her dreams to. He wanted to be the one she ran to when she was sad and crying, and be able to feel her shift around on his bench as they sat together in the corner of the base, talking about everything and anything.
He didn't even care that she was human - that didn't matter to him. He'd spend every waking second in his holoform if it meant being close to her. To be able to safely put his hands on her, to hold her as close as physically possible, to take away all of her fear and pain, and leave her with nothing but comfort and safety.
He'd protect her from everything. From Decepticons, from her Dad, from her own thoughts. Pit, he didn't even care that she was a liability when it came to Decepticons. He knew she was in danger because of it - because of him. Had she never met him, she'd be at home safe. She'd probably have Ollie and her own tractor trailer, cruising down the highway with a load behind them, headed for who-knows-where. She'd be happy and doing what she loved. Ollie would have his head hanging out the window, his tongue flopping around in the wind. The radio would be blasting and she'd be tapping her hands on the driving wheel along to the beat of the song that was on, like she did whenever she drove him, and belting out the lyrics to the song as loud as she could. She'd call her parents every once or twice a week just to check in with them. But she'd be happy doing what she loved - and safe. She'd be living her dream. She'd be safe from all the dangers he brought with him.
But he was willing to be her literal shield. He was more than willing to stand in front of her and fend off Decepticon after Decepticon if it meant afterwards she was safe.
He'd be anything - anything - she wanted.
He'd give up the Matrix of Leadership for her.
He'd give up the title of Prime for her.
He'd give up his life for her. His life.
*(* Optimus Prime. To my Med Bay. Now. *)* Ratchet sent over the public comm link.
With a silent chuckle, Optimus took a deep sigh in as he started his engine up and drove out of his corner. Ratchet had been running system checks on all of his Autobots all day, and to say they were giving him a hard time would be an understatement.
*(* Copy that, I shall be right in. *)* he sent back as he began moving across the tar mac.
Jessica wasn't around; after she woke up, she left and seemed to disappear completely - most likely a mechanism she came up with to stay away from and avoid her father. He hadn't been... all too welcoming of the idea of his only daughter being forced to stay here, and even less enthusiastic when he learned that she was meant to be the perfect match for a thirty foot, metal alien that was taking refuge on this planet. In fact, it would be easier to say he had been enraged. He attempted to say that she must go home now, but since her Mother was her primary caretaker, his attempts were rendered mute. He then attempted to say that, since she was a regular civilian and much of the information here was classified to almost top secret, she was no longer allowed contact with the Prime or any of his soldiers. However, since Optimus signed a contract with the human government that stated the terms and conditions of her stay were only viable so long as she continued to pose as an aid to Optimus Prime himself, which she currently was, she wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. The man then chose to spit a few rather rash words towards the Autobot leader before storming out of the room.
He pulled into the Med Bay and waited until the door shut to transform up. Ratchet came out of a back room in bipedal mode and nodded at him.
"Evening." he said.
"Greetings. I see you have almost finished all of your checks." Optimus smiled as he sat down.
Ratchet nodded as his scanner whirred to life. "Indeed, Optimus. Though the work never truly ends."
The Prime chuckled. "That I can relate to, my old friend."
Ratchet chuckled, but he didn't miss the waver in Optimus's optic, or he way he fidgeted slightly and his optic ridges furrowed.
"What are you thinking of, Prime?" he asked.
"Nothing of importance."
Ratchet snorted. "I may not be a Prime, but I am not a naive sparkling. Something is prominent and nagging at you in that processor of yours. What is it?"
Optimus sighed. "I wish not to burden you with my th-"
"Optimus Prime." Ratchet interuppted with a stern expression on his face.
The flame painted bot huffed. "It's this situation with Jessica. I feel as though it is time to introduce her to our real selves, but I do not know how this will be working out, how she will react or what she will want. I barely know what is going on with this, and I'm worried that..." he trailed off without finishing.
The look in Optimus Prime's optics could have been enough to bring Ratchet to his knees with pity; it was a look that made you want to give the mech everything and anything you had in order to help him. It was not faked or genuine, it was pure, true confusion, anxiety, worry, and fear.
He sighed, then did something he had not done in a long, long time; he did not use the name Optimus, nor even the name Prime towards him.
"Orion," he started, "my old friend. No one on this base can possibly know what's going to happen. No one on this Earth, or even in this universe can know. This has never been seen before - inter-planetary, cross species intimate relationships? Only Primus himself knows how this will play out simply because he set this up. He did this for a reason, Orion. You must have faith that it will all work out alright. Not even I myself know how this whole thing with Jess will play out, and we're all hoping for the best. You must have faith in Primus's plan, Orion."
The taller bot's air intakes hissed as they repressurized on their own again. Optimus's eyes flicked around for a single, brief moment before looking over where Ratchet stood in front of the counter, a wrench in hand.
"Ratchet, I-"
He stopped and debated on his next words, and whether or not they should be said, but Ratchet (outside of Ironhide) was one of his oldest, closest friends before and during the war. He could trust him.
"Ratchet, I'm scared."
Ratchet looked at him with total and complete seriousness. The last time he'd heard those words from that mech, Orion Pax had just been turned into Optimus Prime. He was new to leadership, and having the weight of the world - literally - balanced in his hands, on his shoulders, through his choices proved to be much more pressure on him than it was on Sentinel Prime. He took to talking to Ratchet often as a way to gain his confidence before he was ready to take on the Autobots alone, as his own.
"I do not know what to do next; I feel as though if we tell Jess it will either go very well, or very badly. But I fear that it may be the latter, and that is the last thing I would ever wish for. I fear she will get hurt or worse from all of this, and I honestly... I do not know what I'll do without her. Losing Arial was different - I did not feel this..."
Unable to find the words to express himself, he simply let his shoulders sag and his head hang as his optics landed on the ground.
Ratchet's eyes filled with pity and his eyebrows furrowed.
In all his years working and fighting side by side with Optimus Prime, he had never seen him like this before.
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"Would Jessica Robbins please report to the Tar Mac, thank you."
Jess almost screamed - how many times was she going to be summoned somewhere, this was the third time in two weeks. Could she not just be left alone?
Ollie barked as he got up from the ground and followed her as she stood up off her bed and out of her room. She slammed the door behind the two of them and stomped out onto the Tar Mac, looking around. How was she supposed to know where to go when there was everybody, everywhere?!
"Jess." Will said as he approached. "Come with me."
With an almost surprised expression at the stern tone in his voice, Jess and Ollie followed the man across the tar mac, then froze as he entered a hangar.
He turned and looked behind him. "Coming?"
"I can't, I'm- this is restricted to-"
"I'm aware. But come." he said.
With a gulp, she took a tentative step forward and followed him into the base.
What she didn't expect was for Optimus to be standing there, along with Bobby Epps, Director Galloway, and a few soldiers carrying weapons (which didn't help her discomfort). Ratchet, Ironhide, Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, Mirage, Jolt, and the triplets Elita One, Chromia, and Arcee's vehicles were all parked in the back.
She immediately got worried - what was going to happen?
Optimus walked closer. "Jess."
She immediately blushed, looking down.
He grabbed her shoulder, then placed a curled index finger under her chin to move her head up to make eye contact.
"I have something I wish to show you. I am aware this is sudden, but we have deemed it necessary at this point in your stay." he said quietly.
She gulped again.
He hesitated, seeing that look in her eyes, before stepping back. He took a deep sigh in.
He released the holoform, the human version of himself disappearing into a flurry of sparkles before nothing stood where he was.
Her eyes went wide as she took a single step back out of shock.
He drove up, stopping a safe distance from her that way she wouldn't get hurt. Her eyes got slightly wider, but she continued to not say anything, although her lips did part from shock. A hiss escaped from his grill, anxious and nervous for her reaction.
With a final sigh, he activated the transformation sequence. His gears whirred as he stood, unfolding from the truck form he adorned a few seconds ago. His vents hissed as his oxygen tanks repressurized, and the tires on the back of his legs stopped and stabilized themselves. He looked down at her; her mouth was closed, but she was physically shaking, as if her whole body was a tremor. Much to his dismay, tears welled up in her eyes.
"Jessica." he called quietly.
She sucked in a sharp breath as the tears managed to escape from the barriers of her eyelids, and her shaking seemed to get worse, as if hearing his voice and confirming it was him made it ten times worse for her. She didn't look up at him, she didn't say anything to him; it was as if she didn't have a reaction.
Then - unexpected to him - she turned and looked at Major Lennox and Director Galloway. She opened her mouth and spoke towards Thedore Galloway.
Something he didn't ever want to hear.
"Director Galloway?"
Her voice was shaking.
"Yes, Miss Robbins?" the older man asked.
She let out a shaky breath again.
"I want to go home."
And just like that, his entire world went shattering around him. Someone's servo was wrapped around his Spark and her sentence made whoever it was squeeze the last drops of life from it.
"Miss Robbins, I apologize but-"
"My apologies, but whether you approve of my departure or not, I'm leaving." her voice wavered.
"Jess-" Lennox started.
"As soon as possible, please." she said, then walked around them and out of the hangar, Ollie on her heels.
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You all either really love me or really hate me at this point, haha. First the cliffhanger, now this XD Hope you enjoyed, don't forget to review everybody!