The Seeker

Jackie threw herself across Donna's bed. Exhaustion gripped her, her limbs felt heavy as lead. Desperately she drew upon the will to cry, but found she was spent dry. The lack of saline incensed her and she squeezed her eyes shut, a mantra of cry, cry, cry pacing through her brain.

"You ok?" Donna asked softly, sitting on the edge of the mattress. Tentatively she laid her hand on Jackie's calf. Donna's fingers rubbed up and down Jackie's smooth skin. "What happened?"

"I think I just messed everything up, Donna," Jackie whispered. She rolled over onto her back, flopping her arms out to the sides dramatically. "Steven hates me."

"I'm sure he doesn't really hate you, Jackie." Donna's fingers gripped her shin now. "I mean, I can't really see him hating you after one conversation."

"No, he does." Jackie struck her fists onto the mattress on either side of her. "He told me all of this is my fault. He told me that I'm selfish, and that I don't know what love really is." Anger gripped her throat and she glared up at the ceiling. "Jerk."

Donna pursed her mouth, looking away so Jackie couldn't see her face.

Jackie bolted upright, her hair full of static. Her closed fist punched the mattress. "How dare he. How dare he say that to me!" She stood and began to pace the room, huffing with fury. "I know what love is, he's the stupid asshole who doesn't know anything about anything!"

"Maybe he has a point?" Donna threw in. She recoiled when Jackie rounded on her, Donna's hands rising placating into the air. "Hey, hear me out before you bite my head off."

Sinking onto the bed, Jackie pouted. She grabbed one of the pillows from the head of the bed, clutching it to her middle. "What?"

"I mean- And don't get mad when I tell you this." Donna pointed a long finger at Jackie. "Promise?"

"Whatever."

"Good. Maybe he had a point, Jackie. I mean, you kept pressuring him into marriage, and he told you he wasn't ready yet. But you kept pushing him, and pushing him." Donna squinted at Jackie. "He's not ready to be married."

"Then I was right to dump him!"

"But you two love each other. All he wanted was to give it some more time. What's the rush? Are you pregnant?"

Jackie kicked out her feet, calves bouncing off the mattress. "The rush is that I'm scared, Donna."

"Scared?" Donna rolled her eyes. "Life is scary, Jackie, everyone goes through this."

"Yeah, well," Jackie felt a tightening in her belly. Guilt was taking over, and she tried to ignore the butterflies that rose up her throat. Tossing the pillow aside, Jackie wandered to the window, pulling back the curtain. The Camino, always visible from Donna's window, was gone. Jackie's fingers tightened over the fabric. "I still don't think I was wrong to break up with him. Why is it that I'm wrong for wanting what I want when I want it?"

"You're not wrong for wanting what you want, Jackie," Donna stood from the bed, stopping by her record player, "but you are being selfish."

"How?" Jackie asked, her brow creasing. She released the curtain, wheeling on her heel. "How am I being selfish?"

Donna slid a record from its sleeve, setting it on the turntable. "Seriously? Because it's all about you. Love is give and take. And doing things you don't necessarily want to do to contribute to your partner's happiness."

"That sounds ridiculous." Jackie dropped hold of the curtain, falling onto the bed. She pushed her body up to the headboard, leaning back against Donna's pillows.

"Life isn't all unicorns and rainbows."

"Gee, thanks," Jackie wrapped her arms about her middle, pouting down at the carpet. Bitterness laced her words. "You and Eric have a give and take relationship, is what you're saying? He doesn't act like a child, and play stupid games, and hasn't wasted a complete year of your lives to exist as a bum?"

"He hasn't wasted a year of my life." Donna's voice had grown hard and cautious. "I'm still doing all the things I would have done anyway."

"Oh really?" Jackie asked sardonically. "You wouldn't be traveling the world? Living in Paris? Making love with some tanned and gorgeously haired Italian on a beach in Sicily?"

"I can still do those things!" Donna argued. She blinked, waving her hand flippantly. "Well, except the making love to a hairy Italian part. That's not the point, Jackie, we're not talking about me and Eric, we're talking about you and Hyde."

"Then why aren't you?" She interrupted. Jackie's eyebrow rose; she knew she had won this round. Donna opened her mouth to speak, and made a sound of dissention instead. Her arms hung limply at her sides.

Smirking, Jackie curled her toes into the comforter. "Exactly."

"Eric knows I want to do things," Donna said, her voice rough with emotion. "Eric knows that this is not how things are always going to be. That I want to have a life, too. To leave this town, to travel and write."

"He may know that Donna, but what's he doing to help you achieve that? Isn't love give and take? Doing all you can to ensure your partner's happiness?"

Donna turned away, settling at her desk. She picked up a pencil, tapping the eraser end on top of a textbook. Cradling her chin in the palm of her hand, Donna peeked over at Jackie, a sheen of resolve in her eyes. "You know, you're right on one account."

"Donna, I'm always right," Jackie rolled her eyes, "on all accounts."

"No, no you're not completely right here," Donna argued. She set down the pencil, turning to face her friend. "Eric is stuck right now. And, yeah, I have to wait for certain things. But that's just what I was trying to tell you. This is what being in love is. This is what it means. It means that I'm willing to stay here, and wait for him, till he's ready. Not place demands and ultimatums on him till he caves to my will."

"You are one strange cookie," Jackie acknowledged, her head nodding slowly. "Are you sure you're really a woman?"

"Yeah, well." Donna sighed. She disappeared into the en suite, muttering under her breath in aggravated tones.

Jackie pursed her mouth, chewing on the insides of her cheeks. Pulling her legs up under her, Jackie let her head fall back against the wall, considering what it was that Steven had accused her of, and of what Donna had said. Donna usually took the guys side in any arguments, always had and probably always would. Jackie attributed it to the fact that Donna had been friend's with them first, before Jackie had been able to save her from a life of lumberjack clothing and ice blue eye shadow.

But now… With the advice that Donna had bestowed upon her… She wasn't sure what to think of it all. None of it made any sense. Pam had always told her to be a damsel, to make a man cower with want and a slight hint of fear at your presence. A man was supposed to pine and ache over their woman. Lavish them with gifts, and trinkets, diamonds and rubies. A horse. A plane that writes love notes in the sky. Not throw back insults, ones that cut as deep as the ones Jackie could inflict.

Jack had taught her to never worry her pretty little head about anything; he was the only man Jackie needed to worry about providing for her. But how could he provide for her when he was behind bars, and Pam had to sell the furniture just to pay the bills?

None of that worked with Steven, anyway. He was too smart and cunning to fall for her tricks. Even if she were to pull a fake pregnancy card from her sleeve, Jackie didn't think Steven would completely fall for it. Not unless she provided irrefutable proof. Matter of fact, he would probably get in the Camino and drive as far away from Jackie as he possibly could, as fast as he could.

Marriage had been a card, and one that had blown up disastrously in her face. Instead of caving, and proving to her once and for all that all Steven wanted was Jackie, it had pushed him further away. Running for the hills like that stupid Led Zeppelin song. Or was it the Rolling Stones? Jackie didn't care.

All she wanted was to sit Steven down, tie him to the chair, cover his mouth with duck tape and yell at him till she was blue in the face and he was begging for her to take him back.

Right?

Jackie lay awake long after Donna had fallen asleep. Donna's soft snores pulsed in her ear, but that wasn't what kept Jackie awake for hours, restlessly tossing and turning.

No matter how she spun it, Jackie couldn't help but think that maybe she had made this into something bigger than it was. Selfish and full of demands, that was all she had ever been. When would she ever learn?

Jackie tossed onto her side, shoving the pillow more comfortably under her head. No, she wasn't going to apologize, not this time. Why should she apologize for knowing what she wants out of life? Why should she feel bad that she had only asked of Steven what any normal woman would ask of their boyfriends? Jackie crossed her arms over her breasts, squeezing her eyes shut.

Life was happening right now. She was almost done with high school. There was college to think about, and finding a job that would support her need for designer clothing and makeup. If only Steven had committed, then she wouldn't have to worry about college. She'd have him to provide for her all the monetary things she wanted, just like her parents had taught her.

But now… She had herself. Plenty of people were worse off; they didn't have someone as witty and charming as Jackie to fulfill their sorry little lives.

She closed her eyes, mentally blocking out all the bullshit that was her current life. This couldn't be it. There had to be more. She'd find it, too.

-x-

Steven took the joint from Fez, bringing it to his lips. "Have you heard, man? There's a car that runs on water! It's got a fiber glass, air cooled engine and it runs on water!"

"Angie is so smart," Kelso smirked, taking the rolled paper, "I bet she's heard of this car."

"Man, Kelso, when will you stop dating my sister?"

"Eh, I don't know. Probably in a month or so."

"Doink!"

"Ow!" Kelso rubbed his deltoid. "Too hard, Hyde."

"Have you talked to Jackie?" Eric broke in. He rubbed the palms of his hands together, leaning forward over the spool table. "Donna said the sleepover was a living nightmare."

Fez smiled around at the other three. "Oh, yes. The Goddess. How is my goddess?"

"No," Steven bit out. "I don't want to talk about her to you, either."

"The sleepover was a bleak affair." Fez picked at a piece of dry skin on his lip. He tore off the piece of skin bringing it forward to study between his fingers. "They didn't even have a pillow fight."

"How do you know that?" Steven asked. His voice held more emotion than he wished. He cleared his throat, leaned back in his chair. "Not that I care, or anything."

Kelso began to chuckle. "Yeah, you don't care. At all."

"I can feel the not caring from all the way over here." Eric waved his hands towards himself, his eyes closed in reverence.

"Shut up." Steven kicked out at Kelso. "All of ya."

Crossing his arms over his stomach, Steven stared at the spool table, his focus slipping in and out. The others continued their conversation. Pillow fights and feathers raining down over the girls glistening skin. Miss October, in a nightie with a feather, teasing her breasts. Margot Kidder straddling the world's luckiest boulder. It was an old conversation, and one that he couldn't bring himself to join.

A chip in the side of one of the candles caught his attention, and Steven leaned forward, snatching the candle off the table. His pointer finger picked at the divot, wax building under his nail. He rolled the blue wax between his fingers, flicking it across the room to bounce off of Fez's tight polyester shirt. The foreigner absently stroked his shirt.

"What about you, Hyde?"

Steven became instantly still, his eyes pinging around to each of his friends. He asked dumbly, "Huh?"

"Who would you rather do?" Kelso turned to him excitedly. "Samantha or Jeannie?"

"Oh, uhm," Steven cleared his throat, setting the candle back onto the table. "Jeannie. Definitely."

Eric whistled under his breath. "I wonder if Donna would ever dress up like Jeannie for me. She could fill out that top so well. Just like, two perfectly filled bags of pudding. Two water balloons."

"Oh, this one time!" Kelso sprang forward, smiling like an idiot. "Jackie and I roll-played. Yeah, I was this mechanic, out on the lam, she ripped my muscle tank and everything, and she was a damsel in distress whose car had broken down- OW! Hyde!"

Steven flexed his fingers. "I don't wanna hear about you and Jackie."

"It must be really hard," Fez stroked Steven's thigh. "To still be in love with Jackie."

"I'm not in love with her. I never loved her."

"It's ok." Eric sighed, leaning back in the lawn chair. "It took a while before I could talk about Donna too, when she was dating Casey."

"What are you talking about?" Steven shoved away Fez's hand. "You talked about her all the time. You wouldn't shut up about her."

"And that song you wrote her," Kelso added, rubbing his arm in small strokes. "How long did you spend thinking up that stupid song?"

"Hey, I loved that song!" Fez cooed. "'Every day is like rain when you're in pain'."

"'And when the rain is falling, I can't hear you callin'." Eric sang softly under his breath. The lawn chair creaked under his weight as he leaned back. "God damn, I'm amazing."

Steven slapped his hands onto his thighs. "Alright, well, I gotta get to work. Angie has probably run off all of our customers. You guys have fun reminiscing on the past."

The air felt heavy with impending snow as Steven ascended the stairs to the drive. He popped open the gate leading onto the driveway, slamming it shut behind him. Without conscious thought, he found himself staring up at Donna's bedroom window, wondering if Jackie were still there now.

"Spoiled, crazy, whack-job," Steven mumbled as he got into the Camino. Thinking of Jackie made him irrationally angry. He slammed the driver's door closed, the car pitching on its wheels.

The Camino purred when he started her up. Steven relaxed into the drivers seat, shivering slightly as he let the engine warm. He stared straight ahead out the windshield, pushing all thought from his brain. Thinkin' just made him even more angry and confused. He was too young for an existential crisis.

Grooves parking lot was packed when Steven pulled up, parking the Camino at the back entrance. He locked up the car, jingling his keys in his hand as he approached the back door. A couple of kids loitered, smoking cigarettes, and Steven nodded in acknowledgement of their chorus of hellos.

"Hey big brother!" Angie greeted, smiling at him. She had a clipboard perched under one arm, a pencil stuck behind her ear. "Bout time you show up."

"Yeah, yeah," Steven muttered. He dumped his coat and keys in the office, stepping out into the store. "Anything exciting happen?"

Angie followed Steven to the counter. "Well, that one dorky kid, Jimmy? The one with the headgear? He spilled root beer all over the couch in the listening pit, and then attempted to steal a couple Air Supply vinyl. Otherwise, nope!"

"Fantastic." Steven perched himself behind the counter, pulling AC/DC from the selection of cassette's behind him.

"Hey," Angie set the clipboard down. Her amber eyes held a note of concern, one that Steven wished would disappear. "You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm cool." The only thing cool about him was the tone of his voice.

"Yeah, ok," Angie chuckled, disbelieving, pulling the pencil from behind her ear. She leaned her elbows onto the glass counter. "Tell me what's going on. You and Jackie have a fight?"

Steven pursed his mouth, setting AC/DC in the tape deck. He pressed rewind, the tape whirling backward. "Nope."

Angie's eyes narrowed. "Did something happen between you two?"

"Why so curious?"

"I'm your little sister, I'm supposed to be curious about your life."

"I lived eighteen years without knowing about ya, I'm sure you'll appreciate if I don't have a guitar to play kumbaya and marshmallows to roast over the fire, as we gab about our lives."

Angie exhaled loudly, her left eyebrow rising on her smooth skin. "Talk. Now."

The tape clicked to a stop and Steven pressed play. His hands came to rest between his knees and he met Angie's eye wearily. She looked to him expectantly, bouncing the eraser of the pencil onto her clipboard.

"Truth is, Ang…" Steven rolled his eyes. "Jackie and I broke up."

"What?" Angie stood, placing a hand on her hip. "No. You two couldn't have. What happened?"

Steven picked at a loose thread on the knee of his jeans. "She wanted me to tell her I wanted to marry her."

"Well, why didn't you?" Angie flipped a hand dismissively at Steven. "It's obvious you love her and want to marry her."

"Angie, I don't love her." Steven punched a key on the register, slamming the drawer closed again immediately. Change rattled in their holders. Restlessness settled into his limbs. "I don't love people."

"You are so in denial."

"I am not."

Angie gathered up the clipboard, clutching it to her chest. "You are. You love her. Everyone can see."

Steven scowled. Everyone could see it? Great. Everyone could see how pathetic he was. Love made you weak. Loving Jackie had made him completely retarded.

Angie sauntered off without another remark, continuing her checklist of inventory. A crowd came in around five, keeping Steven blissfully busy for a few hours. He let work consume him, the only thing coming into his mind the counting back of change and which band paired best with Judas Priest.

Donna and Eric showed up close to closing, bringing Fatso Burger with them. Steven felt a wave of hunger hit him, and all but scarfed down the burger Donna presented to him. She smirked at him, her blue eyes bright, watching him inhale his cheeseburger.

Eric munched on fries, making himself comfortable in the listening pit. He pulled the headphones on, relaxing back into the blue swede couch.

Donna sipped her soda. She had made herself comfortable behind the counter. Steven could feel her gaze follow him around the store, and he avoided her as best he could, knowing she was going to stick her nose where it didn't belong.

Steven reorganized some of the crates, silently cursing the pre-pubescent turds that had deliberately fucked with his hard work. Twenty minutes later, and everything was properly catalogued once more. A new shipment of Tom Petty had arrived, taking up another fifteen minutes. Donna seemed patient enough to wait to speak her mind this once. Steven half expected her to pace behind him, waiting to pounce. But her silence and penetrating gaze told him he wasn't getting off the hook so easily.

Slapping down a stack of vinyl, Steven leaned on his palms against the counter. A migraine had started just behind his left eye, pulsing under his skull. "What, Pinciotti?"

Donna released her straw, the plastic bitten flat. She asked innocently, "What?"

"Don't play that game with me, I've known you too long. What are you waiting to berate me about?"

"I wasn't going to berate you." Donna sipped her drink, slurping the liquid. "I was just gonna ask how you've been?"

"Fantastic." Steven walked around the counter. He set the vinyl on the back cabinet with the other inventory waiting to be priced.

Eric chuckled from the listening pit, waving a fry through the air. His voice was an octave louder than normal. "You guys! You guys gotta listen to this. Hilarious!"

Steven stalked past Eric, resisting the urge to slap him upside the head. He turned the Open sign to Closed, twisting the lock on the door.

"Fantastic?" Donna scoffed, munching on a French fry. "I'll tell you who's not fantastic."

"I don't care."

And he didn't.

"Jackie."

He really didn't care.

"So?"

Donna's cup rattled with ice. She pulled the straw, the plastic screeching as it rubbed together. "She feels really bad about what she said."

"Uh huh." Steven tuned Donna out. He pulled out the cash drawer, taking it back to the office. Donna followed, still chewing on her straw.

"Don't you want to talk to her?"

"I thought you didn't want to get involved?" Steven pulled the cash from the drawer, quickly counting the bills. "Cause it sounds very much like you're getting involved."

"She thinks you hate her, now," Donna said softly.

Steven penciled in the figures into the book. He felt the headache intensify. His teeth ground together. "I don't hate her. I don't care about her at all."

"Liar." Donna stated, turning away before Steven could rebut. Steven watched through the office window as Donna fell onto the couch beside Eric.

Throwing the pencil aside, Steven sat back in his desk chair. He didn't care what Jackie thought. He didn't care at all. She wasn't his problem anymore. She was just some spoiled, insane, little girl who didn't care about anything besides herself.

Liar, the little voice in his head whispered to him. Liar, liar, liar.

His eyebrow twitched. Steven slammed the books closed, shoving the wad of cash into a deposit bag.

You do care you know you do.

Nope. Steven placed the deposit bag into the safe, twirling the lock. No, he didn't. Jackie could fall off a cliff for all he cared. She could date the entire football team. He wouldn't care. He wouldn't care, no matter what she did.

Liar.

"Alright, get out of here, I'm locking up," Steven called from the office door. He took his jacket from the peg just inside the office, pulling it over his shoulders. "Let's go."

Donna and Eric gathered their food, following Steven to the back of the store. Flicking off the lights, Steven closed and locked the back entrance, pausing at the Camino's fender. The air had grown heavier, weighing down on his shoulders.

He followed the Cruiser through town back towards the Forman's, parking at the curb. The kitchen was lit up, along with the living room, but the trio walked past, taking the stairs down to the basement at a clipped pace. Fez and Jackie looked up at their entrance. They were facing one another on the couch, clutching hands.

Jackie tossed off Fez's grasp at their entrance, swinging around to face forward on the couch.

Steven thought it appropriate. Now that he and Jackie were no longer together, it made the most sense for her to leach onto Fez. He knew the foreigner had always secretly wanted Jackie, and Jackie coveted attention, no matter who it came from. Steven assumed this latest development was because Kelso wasn't here to lend a shoulder for her to cry on. He wouldn't care if she decided to sink her claws into the foreigner. Good for them. He'd send them a damn fruit basket.

Steven ignored the fist that gripped his stomach, twisting the organ and shoving it up his esophagus.

"What are you two up to?" Donna asked. She wadded up her Fatso Burger bag, tossing it into the wastebasket beside the dryer.

"Ah, nothing, nothing," Fez answered. "Just gabbing like a couple of old gabbers."

Jackie stared at Steven as he shrugged out of his jacket, hanging it on the coat rack. He didn't speak, but instead stalked back to his room. He had left the radio on, and turned it up upon his reentrance, blocking out his friends. Half of him expected Jackie to turn up in the doorway, looking for another fight. The other half of him wished it would come to fruition. That she would appear in the doorway, filling up the small room in a way that only she could accomplish.

He wanted her to apologize. He wanted her to come back and apologize, just so he could throw it back into her face, just like she'd done to him.

He wanted to make her feel just as bad, and as unloved, and as discarded as he did.

Steven lurked out of his room, not realizing he was holding his breath until he was in the main room, sinking into the vinyl chair. He took off his sunglasses, tossing them onto the spool table.

Jackie had left.

Donna and Eric were cuddled together on the couch, prying information out of Fez. The foreigner, for his part, tried to keep the private communication Jackie had entrusted to him private. However, once Donna produced a box of Sugar Babies, Fez was like putty in her fingers.

"Spill." Donna said, leaning closer to Fez. "You two looked a little too cozy when we walked in."

Fez's eyes briefly met Steven's.

"Well," Fez dumped some of the sugary candies into his palm. "I promised I wouldn't say anything-"

"Then don't." Steven mumbled just loud enough for everyone to hear.

"-but, Jackie's really going through a tough time right now."

Steven sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. He kicked his feet up onto the mushroom ottoman, his right foot shaking with pent-up adrenaline. Why did everyone care about Jackie now? For as long as she'd been around them, everyone had treated her like the pariah she was. Disregarding her feelings, making fun of her when she wasn't around. When she had been his chick, it had bothered him to no end, the way their friends could so callously neglect her.

But she wasn't his chick. Not anymore. The old loyalties he had kept going for them, that he had started even before they'd become an official couple, were no longer going to control him. If her "friends" wanted to bash her, and share her secrets, it wasn't his job to protect her anymore.

"What's happened?" Donna asked.

Eric shared a look with Steven that clearly stated he didn't care. He scratched at his temple, resting his forehead against his fist.

"So, so much, Donna," Fez said. He sucked on the Sugar Babies, swallowing throatily. "For starters, she's been fired from The Cheese Palace."

"What?" Donna's eyebrows furrowed with confusion. "I thought she was up for a promotion? She said her boss was really impressed with her work performance."

"Maybe he was…" Fez's voice drifted, and he looked pointedly at Steven across the room. "Before… y'know."

"That sucks she was fired," Eric put in. His voice held genuine concern. "Hasn't her mom been selling, like, all the furniture to pay the bills?"

Steven's head turned without his consent, and he joined into the conversation. "What?"

Donna, Eric and Fez all stared openly at Steven's outburst. Eric looked uncertain if he should continue.

"Yeah," Eric cleared his throat, his arm tightening around Donna's shoulders. "Jackie said that Pam has had to sell most of the furniture. Apparently the city took not only the money her dad stole, but since he's in jail, all of his accounts have been frozen."

"Whatever, they have money," Steven tossed out, turning away. He told himself he still didn't care.

"Well, that's why Jackie was working at all," Fez said. "She said that she told everyone she wanted to keep working to fund her cosmetics bill, but she was actually helping Pam pay the bills. They've had to let the maid and cook go."

"That explains why Jackie has been eating here or at my place every chance she gets," Donna said softly, chewing on her lip.

Steven grew still.

"Ever since the breakup she hasn't been herself." Fez shook the last of the Sugar Babies into his palm. "She's confused, and lonely. She feels like no one understands what she's going through. She doesn't know who to reach out to."

Steven gnawed on the inside of his cheeks. He didn't care. He really didn't care. So what, she was going through a shitty situation. Everyone had shitty situations that happened to him or her at some point or another. For him, it'd been his entire childhood. He was ok. She'd be ok too.

-x-

Jackie sat on the bottom stair of her childhood home, staring around the empty foyer.

How had life gone to shit so quickly?

For the past couple of weeks she had noticed that items were missing. The authentic Chinese vases that had flanked the living room doors. The Waterford Crystal that had been a wedding present to her parents. And then it had been the ornate, hand-carved desk from her father's office. The Tiffany frames that lined the mantle piece. Finally, she had caught Pam, selling her mink coats after a particularly hard, and last, day at The Cheese Palace.

This past week had felt like a wrecking ball shattering her world. She had lost her dad. She had lost Steven. The mementoes of her childhood home were being pilfered away like they were nothing. Todd had fired her yesterday, citing that now the holidays were over, they needed to cut back on personnel. Jackie had flattered herself that she was doing an amazing job. She thought Todd had been paying more attention to her in hopes of giving her a promotion or a raise. Instead he had chosen Dawn. Well, fine.

Jackie pulled herself up by the bannister, trudging up the stairs. She opened her bedroom door, just as her telephone began to ring. Momentarily forgetting her plights, Jackie grabbed up the receiver, a breathless "hello" falling from her lips.

The line was silent on the other end. A faint crackling filled her ear. Jackie shook the receiver, pressing it to her ear again. "Hello?"

"Hey."

Just like that, it hit her like a ton of bricks, the feeling that accompanied Steven's voice. Desperation and want and need, all so strong in her that she willed Steven to appear in her bedroom. She wished she could wrap herself up in his arms. She wished she had never broken up with him at all.

Meekly, "Hi."

Steven took a deep breath. "Look. I don't know why I'm calling. Probably stupid that I did."

"I'm glad you did." Jackie admitted, biting her lip. Butterflies were soaring through her body and her limbs began to shake with anxiety, waiting for his response. She began to berate herself, hating that she had said something so weak.

Steven grew silent. Music played faintly in the background. Country, from the sounds of it.

"Yeah. Look, I guess, I just wanted to say, that I heard about what you're going through."

Jackie felt her breath catch. "What?"

"I heard about what you're going through. With the house and the bills, and losing your job."

"Well," Jackie gasped, "I don't know what you heard, but I'm fine, Steven. Perfectly fine."

Steven's voice didn't rise to her bait. "Don't do that. I know you better than that Jackie. Look, I really just wanted to tell you, that I understand. And-" Steven took a deep breath. "And, if you need to talk to someone… Well, y'know… I'm here for you."

It was Jackie's turn to be taciturn. She twisted the cord of the phone around her ring finger. Her eyes swept her room, and she felt small, like a child. Her limbs relaxed, the feeling of pins and needles leaching out of her toes and fingers. Steven's words were a balm on her heart. No matter what was happening between them, how distant she had felt from him, it meant the world to her that he had said anything at all. This was the Steven she had known. The kind and considerate Steven. The Steven who had comforted her when she had been upset, listening to her, however begrudgingly, and giving her advice, no matter how much she hated the analogies.

This was the Steven she had missed, the one she wanted back.

"Jackie?"

Snapping out of her reverie, Jackie swiped her hand across her cheek, wiping away her tears. "Yeah?"

"Just making sure you were still there."

"I'm here."

"You ok?"

Jackie swallowed, looking up to the ceiling. She bit her lip, her voice soft. "Yeah, I'm ok, Steven."

"Alright." Steven replied. His soft breaths resonated down the line. "I'll see you later, yeah?"

"Yeah," Jackie replied. She set the receiver back on its cradle, curling onto her side, crying softly till she fell into a restless slumber.

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A/N: Jackie's life is in shambles, but she's a tough cookie. And Steven would never let her suffer alone. No matter what he may say. Our lovebirds are working their way back to one another.

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