Hewwo. Another chapter for you all. Please enjoy. x

Still getting over the rumours about Luna and I, I didn't expect hear more whispers so soon. Luna wasn't at the table so I figured that the disgusted looks, boring in to me as if I had murdered their pets or insulted their family honour, were about the two of us, and that somehow we'd offended them once again. I thought I could just disregard their insults, but even Harry, Hermione and all of Gryffindor were scowling at me. Grabbing a few sandwiches to eat elsewhere, I moved quickly to the entrance hall only to collide with someone coming in and fall flat on the ground, bringing only more attention to myself.

The pale-faced boy who was dealing with an immeasurable amount of problems, whose friends were disregarding his presence and had no one to turn to, was smirking at me and huffing in amusement.
"I certainly wouldn't have taken you for the promiscuous type, Reynolds. If you're ever feeling adventurous, let me know." He grinned and walked away. What a slime-ball… I thought to myself. How could I have worried about him, even for a second? He was still the same over-confident ass he'd always been, regardless how civil he was in Herbology. As he drew closer to the Slytherin table, his classmates gave him a nod of recognition. Using my pain and taunting me to gain back the approval of his house? I would not stand for it. Jumping up off of the floor, I faced the room and began to shout.

"What the hell is your problem, huh? What have I ever done to any of you to be so spiteful? Are you all really that brainless and immature to believe whatever rumours are going around this time? Dirty details about mine and Luna's apparent love life? Get over yourselves. You-" I was interrupted.
"Actually," said Cho, slowly standing away from the Ravenclaw table, "you're the one who's brainless. You should have realised after I found your letters I would continue searching until I could prove what was going on. Intercepting your letter today wasn't difficult at all, and now everyone in the school knows what a cheating, little slut you are. Let me read it to you:
My dear Adele,
When you left my bed this morning, I wanted nothing more than to pull you back and make you scream with pleasure. You're so sensual; you're like a mischievous sprite who can't be tamed. I know it is dangerous what we are doing, we've already been caught once by her. I know she won't tell, I made sure of that when we altered her memory, but with everything approaching we must be cautious. However you are by all means welcome back this evening, there is so much of you I want to explore.
Always yours,
S"
Crimson faced, I glanced around the room at the hundreds of judgemental eyes, asking me to justify myself. I had nothing to say.
"Your sexual activities are now public knowledge, and I doubt your little friend will want to be seen with you now. Hurting poor Luna like that, and modifying her memory? You really are… what was the word… mischievous." She sneered and me and sat back at the table.

What was I supposed to say? I couldn't explain that Luna and I were never together, I couldn't say who the letter was from or that it wasn't Luna's memory that we had adjusted. But could I live with being a tramp? I rushed quickly to my dormitory where I was thankful to have found Luna.
"Luna, are you okay? You weren't at lunch and there are rumours." She smiled.
"I'm quite okay thank you. You shouldn't worry about me. Everyone has been particularly kind since discovering your affair. I guess they think I'm heartbroken."
"They would… Luna, I need to talk to you. I know you have this plan with Neville and I hope these rumours about us haven't ruined them, but I might need to pretend for a while as if the rumours are true. I can't confess that I'm dating my Dark Arts professor, and if I can lay low for a little while they might just forget."
"People will always believe what they want to believe. I just wonder how you are going to hide who 'S' is." I hadn't thought of that. That is something I would have to talk to Severus about, if he's talking to me.

I skipped the rest of my classes for the day because I didn't want to deal with what people were saying. During that time I completed my homework, cleaned the dormitory, and paced. At 3 o'clock I ran to the owlery and quickly scrawled an unsigned note to Severus, he knew it would be from me.
We need to talk. Where shall I meet you?
I spent the next hour staring at the ceiling until I heard a high-pitched squawk from my window.
The lake. 11:30 sharp, he replied. The brown and dusty-coloured owl awaited his treat. Petting his forehead, I placed a small biscuit beneath his beak. He was a beautiful bird and made me wish of a simplified animal life. No stupid family to grieve, no friends to stab you in the back and no lovers with murderous missions to worry about. It would be a joy to live as an owl.

The lake was like a plain of liquid ebony. I gazed into the distance trying to find in the horizon where the water met the sky but they morphed together into one black abyss. My skin was sticky from nervous sweat but the icy winter air cooled my skin down. Insecure, I had no clue how to feel or what to say. He wanted us to be cautious, guard our secret, and now it was so close to being unlocked for everyone to see. My eyes were stinging as I heard footsteps behind me.
"Are you okay?" Turning around I sighed and crashed into his chest.
"I don't know what happened. I never received that letter, she must have stolen it from my room or something. I don't know what to do." He traced his fingers up and down my back and let me dispense my worries.
"It will be okay. We just need to be weary. Albus asked me to patrol the grounds for students tonight after hearing about what happened in the Great Hall today. All the professors will be watching for any suspicious activity so our late night visits may temporarily have to stop." For a moment it felt as if I were talking to Professor Snape and not my sweet Severus.
"What's wrong? I can tell you're upset." I pulled away from him.
"I'm not accustomed to my private thoughts being shared to so many people, if at all."
"They don't know it's you, and they won't." He didn't look convinced but I didn't want to push the subject. I couldn't bear to lose him, and if he thought we were would be exposed, he would end it immediately, for both of our safety.

Over the next few weeks, Severus and I met only occasionally after classes or during meal breaks. Severus almost never ate lunch in the Great Hall and everyone thought I was too ashamed to go out in public. With every meeting he seemed more distant and agitated. I couldn't be sure what I had done, but I knew there was nothing I wouldn't do to repair my mistake. At the beginning of February, I was sitting with him in his office as he marked some fourth year essays. I brought with me some sandwiches I had made in the kitchens along with a fruit salad and some sparkling apple juice. His face would contort from displeasure to amazement as he scrutinized every piece of work. His concentration was staggering. I walked over to him from my chair and started to knead my hands on his back in an attempt to relax him, but he just tightened and put his quill down.

"Adele…" he grabbed my hand with his and led me back to my chair, "I cannot do my work with you distracting me like that. As noble as your intentions might be, now is not the time." I sighed and sat back down.
"Severus, what have I done wrong? You've been distancing yourself for weeks." It was his turn to sigh.
"You haven't done a thing. My work with the Dark Lord and Draco is getting severely worse every minute. Draco doesn't trust me at the moment so I am incapable of helping him. My mind is full of clutter with my work and with protecting you and us and this whole damned school." He hit the table. I had never seen him so distressed before. Injured, yes. Despaired, yes. But he was angry, and frustrated and sad, I sat quietly not knowing what to do.
"I'm sorry," he said blankly, "I cannot be there for you entirely right now, and you deserve someone who can." I didn't want to hear this. "After everything you do for me, it is far from fair." He stood up to leave the room, and he almost did until I finally found my voice.
"No." I said harshly. "You don't get to do that. You don't get to detach yourself and then break up with me." I stormed over to his office door and shut it, with myself as a barricade. "I love you with every drop of blood, and every beat of my heart. I don't care if you're under so much pressure that you don't feel like you can sustain our relationship, it isn't up to just you. If you didn't bottle your feelings, I could support you through this but you're too stubborn. Well, guess what, I'm more stubborn so you can't just put me aside that easily." Nodding, he paced back to his chair and swept his fingers through his hair.
"You are right, of course, but what I need now is some head space. Breaking up with you wouldn't fix that; I would only worry myself with your happiness. Just for tonight though, I would like to be alone."
"Okay." I said, leaning over his desk and kissing him on the cheek. "When you are feeling up to it, send me an owl?" He nodded and I left, hugging my arms around my chest. I was falling apart on the inside and it was the only way to hold myself together.