Hey guys! I really hope you're enjoying the story! I think it's going great and can only get better! Enjoy chapter 14 and a big shout-out to CamRox2010!

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I took a deep breath and admitted it to myself. Love. I loved him. I didn't love Dally like I thought I did. It took too long to realize that the only person who can make me feel happy has been standing in front of me my entire life. How was I so foolish that I didn't realize it until things went this extreme? I looked away from his loving glance and shut my eyes tightly, hoping to be dreaming. I smirked at the pain scrunching my face up brought to me and knew I deserved it. I deserved for one of the boys to poke and prod at my burned skin. I wanted them to make pain surge through my body as they slapped me across my burnt back. I opened my mouth and saw a new face staring back at me.

"Sodapop, hit my back."

"Wha-What? Why? No, that would hurt you!"

I closed my eyes and sighed heavily, "I know. I deserve the pain, I need the pain, I want the pain."

He stared at me blankly and slowly walked backwards, mumbling to the person that was behind him then leaving the room. I sighed deeply and shut my eyes tight, causing little circles and lines to fog up my vision. My face started to burn from how tight I was scrunching my face, but at that point, I hadn't cared. I let the burning sensation work its way through my face and singe my brain. I needed to feel something other than sorrow and pity. I needed to feel pain. Pain was my only release. It's the only time I can focus on the physical pain surging through my body rather than the psychological pain that races my mind twenty four hours a day. Awake or knocked out, I can't stop myself from thinking about it, not with the minor amounts of pain I was feeling. I needed more.

I started sobbing and mentally kicked my head in for being so weak. I wasn't crying from the pain, I was crying because of how pathetic I was. Not being able to handle such a stupid problem without needing something to distract me from it. I deserved every single strike that Josh has ever layed on me, for I was weak. He was doing good, he was trying to shape me up into a strong person. He did the right thing, because now I know. I used to be weak and pathetic until he came around. He whipped me into shape, and now I'm hard. I won't let some fucking boy ruin my life. I knew I needed to forget those icy blue eyes and white hair. I needed to shake that devilish grin and soul melting smirk. I needed to forget about how sweet his lips felt across mine, trailing over every inch of my body. I had to forget him. I needed to discount Dallas Winston.

Opening my eyes I could see the nurse looking me over and poking at my burns. I winced in pain but savored the feeling, knowing that I wouldn't feel this type of sweet agony traveling over my body in a long time. She told me to speak up if she was hurting me too much, but I didn't. She didn't know it, but I was enjoying the pain. She told me it was time for me to flip over, for my burns were healing well and I would no longer have to stay in this position. She told me it would hurt immensely, and I smirked. It did. Fierce torment hovered over my body, roughly scraping away the dead burnt skin as I was flipped over. I looked down to see little flecks of black skin and looked at my arms. They were burnt to a dark mahogany color, covered in the same thin layer of burnt skin that shed all over my bed. I raised my hand and began peeling at the charred flesh, revealing fresh pink skin. It hurt more than anything, so I did it more. The nurse rushed in and saw me peeling away the skin with tears streaming down my face. She called in a doctor and they pinned m arms down to my bed with buckles.

I shot a nasty glare at the doctor who looked at me with sympathy. "Do you have anyone here, sweetheart?" I didn't answer. I made a personal oath that the only words that would be coming out of my mouth are ones that will send heartache and misery throughout the worthless person's body. He glanced at the nurse who was motioning for him to follow her, and he did. I silently chuckled to myself and started squirming from beneath the restraints. Minutes later the doctor came back in with Darry and Ingrid, the supposed 'Adults' of the group, with looks of shock and concern smothering their faces. I groaned and looked to the side away from them, not wanting to look at Ingrid. I could hear Darry asking the doctor why I was tied up, along with soft footsteps coming closer to me and then the end of my hospital bed sink in slightly. It wasn't heavy enough to be Darry, so I kicked at the figure that was sitting. I hear a small 'Ow' and sneered at the reaction I got.

The gentle indent in the bed rose and left, being replaced by an even heavier one. I looked over to see Darry staring at me and I scowled. He got up and walked right over to the side of my bed, grabbing my chin and forcing me to look him in the eyes. For once in a while, I didn't see anger or stress in Darrel's eyes. I saw real worry and hurt. I felt a small pang of guilt overcome my feeling of self pity, but it was quickly shaken off when I saw the smug look of contentment written across her face. I motioned for Darry to come in close to whisper something in his ear, "I need pain, please, dig your nail into my burnt flesh, please Darry." He slowly pulled back and got up off of the bed. He stumbled back into Ingrid and they started talking to the doctor. I could roughly make out the words 'therapy' and 'needs help' but I shook them off. I didn't need help. I needed pain.

Day after day I was stuck in the room getting few awkward meet and greets from some of the gang, each time I would ask them to physically harm me. Today it was apparently Steve's first time coming to visit me since the incident. From what Ponyboy's told me, he's tooken the whole thing pretty rough. He walked in and his eyes went from horridly worried to slightly relieved that I was alive. I smiled gently at him, for I was never to take my anger and pity out on him. Not him. "Rebecca, I think you should let us help you. I know what's going on. I get it." I was fuming now. He didn't get it. I wasn't going to let some random stranger try to brainwash me into thinking there's something wrong with me and that he could help. He'd just get all psychological and say it has to go with my love/family life. I'd sneer in his face and beat him to smithereens. It was inevitable. I finally got sick of bottling up my anger towards him just because he was hurt. Everyone was hurt. He was no special case. When I spoke my voice was bitter and harsh.

"You don't know what's going on Steve, because there's nothing going on. So I want to feel pain, who doesn't sometimes? Everyone needs a little pain. You go without it and you die. You can't live in a world with no wrongs. If that were the case, at the sight of a wrong it would be declared a sin, and sins are to be dealt with by cessation. It's all anyone ever wants, because it's the easy way out. Ending it is easy, doing what you and I are doing right now is hard." He stared at me like I was possessed by the devil and sat up off the bed, still watching my every move. "You know it too. You can't stand the fact that I'm right. Everyone needs pain. Everyone wants pain, I just showcase it easier than others do. It's only...human." With that I smirked.

I looked straight into his eyes and he did the same. After a few seconds, he collapsed on the floor with his arms laying on my bed. I could hear soft sobs escaping his lips as his whole body shook. I reached over and touched his hand that was sitting close enough for my restricted hands to reach. His head shot up, giving me a full view of his face. His eyes were puffy and red, his tear stained cheeks were also a light pink color, but there was something new. It wasn't from crying... On his arm was some new fresh cuts going across it. I glanced down at my cut wrists then back at his arms. He noticed me doing this and moved his arms away, raising up off of the floor and sitting in the closest chair with his face in his hands. "Steve?" He shook his head. I knew how it felt to not want to talk about it. "Steve, please. Talk to me." He stayed silent. I kept begging him until finally he got up and walked towards me. He started un-doing my restraints and I was confused. "What are you doing?" He put a finger up to his mouth to shush me, and I did. Once he got my arms free, he lunged at me and hugged me. I put my arms around him and scooted over in my bed to let him lay down.

We stayed in this position as we sobbed together, quietly mumbling about how fucked up life was. I cuddled into his chest and looked up at his big brown eyes, which I had never noticed how round and innocent they looked. I shut my eyes and asked the question I knew he didn't want me to ask, but I also knew it needed to be asked. "Steve, why?" He looked down at me and sighed. The way he looked when he spilled out all of his emotions built up cracked my heart into billions of little pieces. It wouldn't have hurt so bad if he hadn't said that I was the reason. He said he cut because he thought I didn't love him. That I would never want to speak to him again and try to kill myself. By the time he was done I was crying again. My salty tears soaked his oily DX shirt and I giggled, asking him why he was wearing it. He told me that he rushed from work to here just to see my before visiting hours were over. I felt my heart fly around in my chest and my stomach was doing flips. This feeling is how I felt when Dally looked at me. But now I didn't feel like that for Dally. At all.

I looked back up and Steve and saw a rare grin on his face, one that never shows. He slowly leaned down and brushed his lips across mine. This time, I allowed him to stay. I kissed back because I felt safe in his embrace. I felt like I was on Cloud 9 when I was kissing him. I felt in peace. His hands were firmly gripped around my waist, but started traveling up and down my body. The jolt of pain being sent throughout my body from his calloused hands rubbing over my charred flesh was excruciating. His hands slipped and scratched my side, causing me to gasp into the kiss. He took this chance to slide his tongue into my mouth and I gratefully accepted it. I could feel his tongue traveling around ever inch of my mouth and I loved it. I felt so perfect in this very position. He cupped my cheek with one hand and gently explored the rest of my body with the other. The difference between him and Dally is Dallas immediately tried getting in my pants. Not Steve. He didn't try to reach up my nightgown and fumble with my underwear. It would be much easier for him because I was only wearing underwear and this hospital gown, but he still didn't try anything. At that moment I truly accepted my feelings for him. I knew I couldn't hide it anymore. I pulled away from the kiss and stared right back into his big doe eyes.

"I love you, Steve Randle." And with that, he smirked and kissed me again, this time not releasing me for some cheesy line that he knew was already true. We stayed in the same position, laying in the bed with him on top of me, making sure not to harm my burns though I told him the pain helps me heal, he still didn't, and me having my arms and legs wrapped around his body. Our moment of piece and freedom was interrupted by my hospital door swing open and an angry Dallas Winston standing in the doorway.

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Alrighty guys. What do you think? What's going to happen now? Did Dally see/hear the whole thing? What's he gonna do to Steve? CLIFFY FTW! Ahahaha, I'm evil. Anyways, review for me! It'll make me happy! Thanks CamRox2010.