Warning: Fairly descriptive self harm in this chapter. Also, a bit more vulgar language used.

~FLASHBACK~ ~Dean POV~

I hadn't planned to spy on her, it just happened. I just happened to be driving by, spotting a tree across from her house, with a pair of binoculars in the back of the car.

I parked the car a block away and made my way to the oak tree. After settling myself on a branch about half way up the tree, I brought the binoculars up to my eyes and peered through her window.

~Candie POV~

I ran to my room, tears streaming down my face. I never usually let her get to me.

Ali. That perfect being. The perfect daughter I never could be. The daughter that made my parents proud.

I shut the door behind me, making sure to lock it. I grabbed the box I kept hidden under my bed and tore the lid off. A small pang of relief flooded through me as I chose my tool. A simple razor blade, sharp enough to grant me the small amount of joy I didn't deserve.

I lifted my shirt over my head, exposing my scared torso, and tugged off my jeans. I picked up the razor blade and made my way to the mirror. I grimaced at the sight in front of me.

"I'm a disgusting excuse for a human." I thought as I stared into my eyes.

I never used to do this, I'd only scratch. I'd take a dull pair of scissors and scratch the word "FAILURE" into my stomach, just below my belly button, until the skin was raw. But it was never enough.

I pressed the blade into my skin, starting my process the same way I always do. I cut open the scar of the first letter, F, and watched the blood begin to trickle out. I continued on to the next letter, A, and it didn't take long for the word to be complete.

"FAILURE".

That's what I am. I watched silently as the blood ran down from the word. I breathed deeply, starting to feel the release, before continuing. All along my torso were the scars of the tally marks I'd make. Each tally mark represented one of my failures. I was beginning to run out of room on my torso, so I had starting cutting my upper thighs as well. I wanted to continue my work, but a loud thud coming from outside took me by surprise.

I looked out the window, just realizing that I had forgotten to close the curtains, and saw Dean Winchester laying on the lawn in front of the house across from ours. I quickly threw on one of the large bandages I kept in my box, put everything back in its rightful home, and put my clothes back on.

I climbed out my window, slide down to the edge of the roof, closed my eyes, and jumped off. It was a fairly long jump, but, much to my displeasure, I landed safely. I surveyed my surroundings, wanting to ensure that my family hadn't come outside, and weren't about to see me run to the boy laying on the ground.

I ran across the street and leaned over his motionless body.

"Hi, Dean." I said when he opened his eyes.

"Hey, Candie." He smirked before coughing.

I looked up at the tree, noticing a branch swaying slightly. "That was quite a fall you had."

"Oh, well, you know.."

"Dean, how long were you hiding up in that tree?" I asked, motioning toward the branch he had just fallen off of.

"Umm.. An hour, maybe?" He answered, a sheepish grin plastered on his face.

I bent over and picked up the binoculars laying near him, "What did you see?"

"Enough." He whispered.

I gazed down at the binoculars, unable to meet his eyes knowing that he had just watched my slice myself open.

"Why?" He asked, sitting up.

"Because I'm not strong enough to just end it. I can't do it. I've tried, but I can't. This is the closest I can get to freedom." I scowled, surprised at how honest I was with him.

"Candie, not being able to "end it" doesn't make you weak, it means you are strong enough to keep going."

I sighed, thinking of all the times I'd heard that from the suicide hotline commercials. I tossed the binoculars on his stomach and started back to my house.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He called out to me.

~END OF FLASHBACK~

"Candie, you were right, there is something I need to tell you." Dean said as we started walking out of an old factory and back to Bobby's.

"Damn right." I thought. I couldn't help it. I almost wondered if my sudden anger was a side effect of all these possessions.

"Sam died, almost a year ago."

"What the fuck are you talking about? Sam is alive and well back at home. Huh, I called it home." I almost laughed at my thoughts.

"I made a deal with a Crossroad Demon to get him back. That's a demon that you summon at a crossroad and make deals with."

"No shit, Sherlock. I figured that out on my own. Dumb ass."

"So, I made a deal to bring Sam back to life. Usually, you get ten years, but I only got one. And now I've got less than two months left."

"Well, that's unfortunate."

"So, yeah. I'm sorry for not telling you sooner."

"Dean, are there side effects from being possessed too much?" I asked, not even acknowledging the one sided conversation we were just having.

"Candie, were you even listening to what I just said?"

"Yes, Dean." I sighed, "You were telling me about how you have two months left because you brought Sam back from the dead. I'm sorry to hear that, but, honestly, don't give two shakes of a rat's ass! There is something wrong with me. I should be reduced to tears by now, but I'm not. In fact, I've been making smartass comments in my head during your whole confession! Dean, why am I not functioning properly?"

He didn't reply. He just stared at me in confusion.

"Dean, is there a side effect from being possessed one too many times?" I asked again.

"I don't know. We'll ask Bobby when we get back."

A/N: Woah. I did not see that coming.. I'm gonna be straight up honest and say that I have no idea where I'm going with this. I really wish I hadn't written that Candie made a deal, because I don't know where to go with that... So I'll figure that out for the next chapter.

And now, while I'm being honest with you all, I must beg for your forgiveness. *sigh* I haven't updated in a while, and I am sincerely sorry. School's been really demanding of my attention and I've recently been really down, more than usual. Writing the self-harming Candie scene was kinda therapeutic. You may see her again later. But, for now, she's gonna go wander through a forest while I try to figure out what I'm doing with this story. Frankly, all the characters are wandering through the forest. I am hoping that I will have the next chapter up this weekend, but, as you already know, I suck at achieving these little goals I set.

So, before I go and stop bugging you, I'd like to give you all virtual hugs and cookies. Thanks for sticking with me! :)