Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter but the awesome J.K Rowling
Chapter 14
Hint
"Miss Whyte, can I have a word with you?" Remus asked once the DADA class was over, looking at me earnestly.
I had expected this confrontation by him today since I'd skipped my last DADA class after my encounter with Sirius Black a week ago. But what I had not expected, was the concern in his eyes when he'd addressed me.
Shouldn't he be disgusted by who I am and how I'd behaved? It's what everyone does, isn't it?
"I suppose," I replied evenly, still keeping my cool composure before I turned to my fellow friends who were waiting behind me. "There's no need to wait for me, it must be just some boring self-righteous Gryffindork speech, there's no need for the all of you to suffer with me. I'll meet you guys back in the dungeons later."
"If you say so Lexi, just don't kill him while you're at it, Snape won't appreciate the paperwork." Blaise teased lightly as he pulled Pansy with him, the both of them strode off not a second later. Like all other times, they had overlooked my yet another unreasonable outburst, both pretended nothing had happened before.
Something that I'm grateful for.
"Erm, Draco?" I asked, noticing him still standing beside me even though Crabbe and Goyle were long gone.
Things had been rather… … odd since I'd found out my feelings for him. I'd started to notice more and more little things about him, and often found myself being more and more self-conscious around him. And since the conversation we had in the Room of Requirement a week ago, Draco had indeed backed off, no longer as persistent about getting an answer out of me.
Draco had said nothing, but continued staring at Remus suspiciously, only returning his attention to me when Remus gave him a nod. Draco turned his back on Remus before his look of distrust melted away when he's facing me. His earlier look of coldness was replaced by the usual gentleness that he'd always hide from the world, a look that caused my heart to involuntarily quickened.
Must he be so bloody good-looking?
He can just charm the pants off anyone!
Not that I'm saying my pants had already been charm off. I'm wearing a skirt in the first place.
No! Wait! It all sounded very wrong!
Bad Lexi bad! No naughty thoughts!
Think Clean!
"Lexi, are you listening at all?" Draco's voice snapped me out of my thoughts, looking mildly impatient.
"Sorry, can you repeat again?" I muttered quickly, using all my willpower not to flush. I'd once again drifted off thinking about Draco. He'd been all over my mind for the past week, and it's seriously driving me crazy!
"I was saying, I've somewhere else to go so I'll be missing today's Quidditch practice. I'll see you during dinner instead."
"Again?" I asked exasperatedly. Ever since he'd stop being a persistent bugger, he, himself started to disappear time to time. He would always go off to somewhere else and only meet us during dinner time, and sometimes, he would even miss out our nightly meeting, leaving me being a third wheel around Blaise and Pansy.
"Why? Does it bother you?" Draco asked, seemingly amused. I knew what he's up to! He's trying get me curious about what he's hiding from me, wanting me to taste my own medicine.
"No," I retorted tartly. Even if I'm head over heels over him, I'm not blind! I would never admit how much it annoyed me, letting him know that he'd won in my own game!
Damn him and his Slytherin cunningness! And damn myself for actually finding this trait of his attractive!
Like I'd said, he's driving me crazy!
"Alright, if you say so," Draco smirked briefly before he turned solemn, tucking a few of my stray hair behind my ears. I tried my hardest not to notice the tingling feeling left on my cheek when his fingertips brushed by during the process, focusing on what's he's saying instead.
"-don't let it affect you, I'll be back as soon as possible, alright?"
Okay, so I still miss out a chuck of his words, but with years of practices, I'd picked up a skill or two to roughly know the general idea of what others were saying just by the last few words. He's just worried about me in general, just like always.
"Alright," I sighed, "I'll see you at dinner."
He gave me one last nod before leaving, with me watching his retracting back. Huh, somehow, he had my bag slung over his shoulder along with his. I guess somewhere among that chuck of conversation I'd missed, he must have said something about helping me with my stuff.
How sweet.
I instantly regained my cool when I heard an awkward throat clearing sound from my back, reminding me that Remus was still in the room. I wiped clean of whatever expression I had over a second ago and turned around to face the Gryffindor, hoping he didn't notice anything.
"So Professor, what's possibly so dire that you had to lower yourself to talk to a snake like me? Upset that I'm still alive?"
It had been weeks since Remus had anything to say to me since that day with Harry, and all the while, he did done nothing to salvage the situation. He'd just, left me alone after he had me look up to him like an uncle without even trying to ask me for an explanation.
So can one blame me if I'm being a little resentful?
"Lex-"
"Oh? So you're still willing to call me Lexi? Why? Not afraid I'll stab you at the back again? I'm a Slytherin after all." I said bitterly, recalling the disappointment shown in his eyes on that very day.
Remus looked taken back by my spitefulness before his expression softened, him suddenly looking older than he should have been.
"I think there's a misunderstanding Lexi, you've never, stab me in the back as you'd phrased it."
"Didn't I? You're telling me you don't feel betrayed and disappointed in me when I'd offended both you and Harry the other day?" I asked skeptically, an eyebrow quirked.
"No, maybe, a little," He stuttered, looking slightly ashamed, "But it's not like what you'd thought. I know you don't mean a word you'd said about either of us, and I'm not disappointed in you, I never will. I'm just, slightly disappointed in the decision you'd made is all, I thought you know better." He said sadly.
Huh? Of course I know better! I avoided Harry Potter for Merlin's sake! I practically avoided death by doing so! Unless he want me dead just like 3/4 of the Hogwarts students?
"I don't know what went wrong, I thought, I thought it would help. I didn't expect that it'll push you off the edge." He muttered dejectedly, mostly to himself as he slide down to his chair. "If anything, it's my fault in the first place, I should have been there for you, teach you, let you see. So you didn't exactly betray me in the first place, I wasn't there from the beginning."
So I decided I want to live by avoiding The-Boy-Who-Attract-Trouble, who just so happens to be related to me. Why was he making it into such a big deal?
"I just, I just want you to know that no matter what, you're still Will and Lizzie little girl and I still, I still care for you, even if we're on different side."
Okay, now it's getting ridicules. I'm officially confused.
"Wait wait wait, what do you mean by different side? I thought you treat all houses the same? Even Gryffindor and Slytherin?"
This time round, it's Remus' turn to quirk an eyebrow, him staring at me quizzically.
"Of course I treat all houses the same." He said before adopting a softer tone, "I was talking about the side of Light and Dark."
"I've made my decision? WHEN?" I asked, baffled by his clarification. When had that decision been made? Why do I not know about it? Do my Grandparents have anything to do with it?
He too, mirrored the same look of shock, staring back at me with bulged eyes.
"The last time, when you said you do not wish to associate with Harry at all. Wasn't that you telling me that you'd chose the Dark?"
Suddenly, it all clicked.
No wonder he was sprouting all sort of gibberish earlier! He thought I chose the Dark! With all the adult talks, he'd forgot that I'm still a kid, a teenager.
"For the love of Merlin Remus! I have not made my decision, nor will I anytime soon! I do not hate muggles or muggleborn and want to wipe them out like that psychopath Dark Lord! When I say I do not want to associate with Harry anymore, I'd meant it literally, not figuratively!" I huffed, throwing my hands up in frustration.
All the unnecessary avoidance, all the hurt and pain, everything was all for such a tiny misunderstanding?
I felt so cheated!
"W-What? R-Really?"
I nodded, vehemently.
"But, why wouldn't you want to get to know Harry? He's your cousin."
"Why?" I asked incredulously, "Oh I don't know, how about the fact that if my Grandparents ever know that I'm friendly with him, they'll punish me? Or maybe it's the splendid relationship he had with Uncle Sev and my best friend?" I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes as well.
"And let's not forget how he'll always drag me into all sorts of life-and-death situations against my will! And have you talked to him? Without even trying, he'd already taken up the role of an infuriating little brother perfectly! Can you blame me for running away from him?" I finished, huffing once more.
"Oh,"
Yeah, Oh was the right word.
Long story short,
Harry Potter is trouble.
And I run from trouble.
Therefore, I run from Harry Potter.
The End.
It didn't take him long before he started chuckling, with me joining him a while later, both of us realizing the silliness of the whole situation. It was a hearty yet bitter laugh, for the both of us had taken the situation too seriously that we'd forgotten that life can be simple, even our argument.
What dark humour.
"Dumbledore told me what happened when Sirius Black got into the castle that night. He said that Sirius almost take you with him, is it true?" Remus asked worriedly, changing the subject, knowing neither of us was actually comfortable continue talking about the Light and Dark.
"Uh huh, but as you can see, he apparently failed. Draco pushed him out of the way before he can do anything."
"That's good to know, I can't imagine what I'll do if he ever take you away, I'll never forgive myself," He said, his voice pained.
"Anyway," He continued, recomposing himself relatively quickly and took on a lighter tone, not dampening the mood any further much to my relief. "Draco huh? Was it then when he saved you made you realize your feelings for him?"
I blushed immediately, not at all ready for such a dramatic change in topic.
HOW DID HE KNOW?
"I'm sorry, I don't really understand what you're saying." I denied, trying to sound as innocent as possible.
"Really? Then what was that smile I'd seen on your face when he's leaving the classroom?" Once his words left his mouth, my innocent façade dropped immediately.
"I, I-I-I, y-you- There's no smile! I did not smile!" I was pretty sure my face was flushed scarlet by now while he continued chuckling to himself.
What an arsehole.
Two can play this game too! He's not the only observant one.
"What about you and Draco?" I countered "Don't think I didn't notice the little exchange between you and him earlier! He doesn't trust Gryffindors that easily, so what had happened between the two of you that made him change his mind? Does this have to do with the fact that he'd been missing almost every evening?"
"He did?" Remus asked, genuinely surprised. Guess he really don't know anything about his disappearing act after all.
Darn.
Well, at least I get to deter the direction of the conversation away, and following the basic instinct of a Slytherin, I better retreat while I'm ahead!
"Well, glad to clear the misunderstanding and all, but I have a Quidditch practice to go to and I can't afford to be late. So good day Moony," I placed extra emphasis on his nickname as I took a bow, a way of telling him that we're fine regardless of what had transpired in those few weeks.
Noting my hidden meaning, he merely smiled weakly at me, weariness spread across his face before he whispered out softly.
"What about Harry?"
"-x, Lexi, wake up, you'll be late for class." A soft prodding voice I'd barely registered as Draco's stirred me out of my slumber. Ignoring the usual fatigue that consumed me every time after a Quidditch practice, I forced myself to wake up fully.
I'd half expected to find myself back on the couch that I'd occupied while waiting for Draco to return, yet much to my astonishment, I'd found myself lying on a bed with Draco looming over me instead.
I let out an involuntary yelp as I stumbled backwards out of instinct, causing my legs to get tangled with the blanket that's over me as I fall out of bed. I groaned, utterly disconcerted by my out of character behaviour.
Contrary to just about every girl in Hogwarts, I was never a klutz. I don't trip, fall or knocked onto people and walls accidentally. I always know my surrounding, and I was always graceful and never disorientated.
I was trained to do so; to be elegant.
So having me being thrown off balance and having a wrestling match with a blanket isn't exactly doing much to this trait of mine to say the least.
"Draco Malfoy! Can you bloody stop laughing for a second and help me out? I'm losing to the blanket!" I practically wailed, still struggling and trying to free myself from the blanket of doom.
"Fine fine, you're never a morning person aren't you?" Draco grumbled, pulling me up from the floor easily.
"The same can be said to you too," I retorted, taking my time to scan around the room, realizing it was the boy's dormitory. "Let me guess, by the time you got back to the common room, I'm already asleep?"
Draco nodded, so I took that as my initiative to continue my hypothesis. Not that it was difficult to deduct in the beginning.
"And seeing my sweet angelic sleeping face, you couldn't bear to wake me up. But being the egoistic male chauvinist git you are, the staircase to the girl's dormitory refused to let you pass, hence my magnificent presence here. Have I got that right?" I grinned, only to be rewarded with an eye roll for my deadly accurate conclusion.
"I can point out so many faults in your statement, especially your use in adjectives."
"Psh, details details" I dismissed offhandedly, "I still got the gist of everything correct didn't I?"
"Just get ready," Draco said, not before he gave me another eye roll of course.
Sheesh, sore loser.
"I already have Dippy brought over your bag and uniform, there's also some food if you're hungry," He continued, gesturing to my uniform that was folded neatly at the end of the bed and the tray of food on the night stand. I also spotted my bag on the floor, most likely already packed with the books needed for the day.
"Everyone is already up for breakfast and I'll swing by the Great Hall to tell Severus that you'd slept in so he won't worry. I'll see you in class and we can talk later." He finished, striding out like nothing in the past minute had happened at all.
I couldn't help but chuckled at how natural it all seemed to him, having me waking up on his bed and had everything well-prepared for. Who would have guessed that the Draco Malfoy; the mean selfish inconsiderate bully of Hogwarts, actually had such a caring and thoughtful side?
Oh the irony.
Not just knowing that Uncle Sev would always get slightly antsy whenever he don't see me during meal times, he also knew there's something bothering me. Maybe it was the fact that I had to talk to a Gryffindor Professor or the fact that I'd waited up for him that gave it away, him being understanding was still sweet nevertheless.
For a second, I vaguely wondered if this was what life would be like if I ever got together with Draco. For as long as I can remember, that was how Draco had been treating me, and I was so wrapped up with my Grandparents that I'd never spare a thought and truly appreciate it.
What an idiot.
"WOOF!" A loud bark from my side startled me out of my trace, forcing me to pay attention to him.
Yes, it's a him. I'd checked.
I even poked his 'things' just to make sure.
What? You can't expect me to know its gender by looking at its face can you? I'm just doing what any normal human being would do! Though oddly enough, the dog seemed to be protesting rather strongly when I was doing so.
Another figment of my imagination?
Oh well, what's done is done.
"Bloody hell Snuffles! Can't you just leave me and my thoughts in peace? You're such an attention seeker." I grumbled before I started snickering afterwards, "Not that I'm any better myself."
I'd found this huge black dog near Draco and my Willow tree near the Black Lake a few days ago when Draco was off somewhere doing Merlin knows what. I was just sitting there alone, mulling about the sticky situation I'd found myself in regarding Draco when the dog appeared from the bushes.
He just stood there a few feet away, doing nothing but stared at me.
My first instinct told me to run.
And I did.
Sadly, no matter how scruffy and exhausted looking the dog were, it overran me and slammed me onto the ground before it started to attack me viciously!
He attacked me with its, its, its,
Drool!
Not that I'm admitting I'm small, but he easily over win me in size and continued to lick me happily like some steak flavoured lollipop. I mean, they have blood flavoured lollipops in Honeydukes, it's only normal that they have steaks flavoured ones too don't you think?
It was then the beginning of a wonderful friendship, right after I casted a scourgify charm to clean him up that is. It'd removed all the dirt, mud, fleas and many others magical and non-magical insects on him that I never want to remember or mention again.
It. Was. Traumatizing!
Even naming him was taxing! I'd came up with so many great names such as Babu, Hooch and even B-Dawg!
B-Dawg, Black Dog, get it?
I'm so witty.
Well, the Dog surely didn't think so for it actually stared at me deadpanned! Can you imagine? A dog can actually managed to pull such an expression!
Who knew!
After hours and hours of name calling, he finally settled for Snuffles.
Such a picky dog.
Anyway, with me unable to seek out anyone I truly trust to help me, I was left with a stray dog that came out of nowhere to share my melancholy with.
Ain't that great?
I mean, I can't find Draco since he's the main reason for my whole predicament in the first place. And that there's no way I'm confiding such things to Uncle Sev or Moaning Myrtle for such problem! One's a cold fish and the other too horn- *cough**cough* passionate, too passionate.
But today, it was different.
"I just don't know what to do Snuffles," I sighed, for once wasn't troubled about Draco. It was Remus' question that placed me in such a ditch, a question I do not have answer to.
What about Harry?
Ever since his accusation for Uncle Sev, I had not been kind to him, at all. Yet, he still had that hurt puppy dog look, hoping that we'll reconciled somehow. And after his and my encounter with Sirius Black, he seemed more determined to get me to talk to me, even apologizing about his behaviour before.
And what did I do instead?
I gave him the cold shoulder.
It was not that I do not want to, but more of I don't know how to.
Like I'd said before, he's like this annoying little brother that everyone love and hate, and I certainly do not mind having one, seeing how I never really like being the only child anyway. But not just my Grandparents, everyone I care about practically hate Harry with a passion, a mere mention of his name was able to elicit either a demeaning sneer or an animalistic growl from them. And on his side, it was the same when my name was mentioned.
So can anyone see the flaw in the whole situation here?
"What was it that make you not knowing what to do in the first place?" A familiar voice drawled out from behind, scaring the crap out of me.
"Draco! Don't sneak up on me!" I almost shrieked. Almost.
"Why?"
"Why? Because it's creepy!"
Not to mention he almost caught me red-handed talking about Harry.
"Didn't stop you from doing that to me." He replied nonchalantly, taking a seat next to me.
I knew it! He's been trying to get back at me!
I would never admit all my mistakes Draco Malfoy! I wonld never lose! Rawr!
"What's with the mutt?" He asked, eyeing Snuffles suspiciously whose head was now resting on my lap while I scratch its ears.
"Just a stray dog I've found. His name is Snuffles, I named it." I shrugged, noticing the dog had never left its eyes from Draco.
"Huh," Draco said before patting its head cautiously, just as afraid as I was in the beginning that it'll bite. Once he'd made sure Snuffles was safe, either for me or for him, he finally relaxed, leaning against the tree fully.
"So," He started, "What did Lupin say to you yesterday that bothers you so much?"
Harry
"Nothing important," I lied.
"Uh huh, is that so? Then what's bothering you so much that not only you waited the whole night for me to return, you had to resort to talk to a dog about it?" He questioned, an eyebrow raised.
"I miss you alright? I miss not having my best friend around!" I snapped. Well, better giving up this secret than the one about Harry. I still wish to breathe thank you very much.
Instead of smirking or mocking me like what he would normally do, he actually blushed lightly at my outburst.
"I didn't realize," Draco muttered, looking away, "I just thought I'm giving us the space that we both need. I mean, it's obvious that you do not need me around all the time, and it's about time we both grow up…"
Ouch, why did his words stung?
"What do you mean Draco?" I interrupted, hiding my eyes beneath my bangs, not even realizing that my grip on Snuffles' fur had tightened so much that it caused him to whine softly.
"I'm just thinking about what Blaise had told me a while ago, and I think he's right."
My eyes twitched. What had Blaise done this time? I swear, he's really quite a bothersome meddler that I can gladly do without.
"What did Blaise tell you?" I asked after a moment of hesitation, voice soft.
"That you need to stop relying on me."
My head shot up, surprised. For a brief moment, I thought I couldn't breathe. What exactly does he mean by that? That we're not even friends? But that day in the Room of Requirement, he said he'll wait! Then wha-
"Lexi! Hey! Snap out of it! You misunderstood what I'm trying to say! I'm not finished!" Draco practically yelled, patting my cheeks frantically, trying to haul me out from my sudden admission into a deep trance-like state.
Misunderstood?
Another misunderstanding?
Again?
What the hell?
"What do you mean I misunderstood?" I snapped, pushing Draco's slapping hand away.
"I'm not saying that you shouldn't rely on me on anything anymore, I'm just saying that it's time we should give each other a chance to be independent and grow up."
"Grow… up?" I asked, confused. All my life, I'd been taught to be mature, to handle all sorts of situations like an adult. Not just that the amount of spells and knowledge of the Wizardry world I know were far beyond than any normal 13 years old, I'd dealt with Wizards and Witches all over the world who were all at least few times older than me all the time! How am I not grown up?
"I know what you're thinking Lexi," He sighed, "I mean grow up from each other."
"Elaborate… …" I asked, still rather skeptical.
"Even though you may be all mature in most situations, when it comes to me, you'll revert back to your immature self, and I would allow you to. You know I'll always have your back, always be there for you, and by doing so, I'm actually pulling you back from truly growing up."
"We were always there for each other all our life, and unknowingly, we'd both drawn a line in our relationship. We're so used to it that both of us refused to move on beyond that point. So when I'd said you should stop relying on me, I'm asking you to try and step out from the safety zone, not telling you that I'm abandoning you."
I blinked, rather taken back. Draco's speech actually… … make sense.
"So, when you said you're giving us space… …"
"I want us to make our own decisions and handle situations around us without each other tying us down. I want us to see each other as the adul- well, teenagers that we really are, not like the kids we were when we're 5. You understand?" Draco asked softly, his piercing grey eyes locked onto mine, neither of us able to look away.
"Yeah," I whispered, slowly turning away from him and stare at Snuffles who's still on my lap instead, trying to hide the evidence of the growing heat on my face. "I think so."
It was Draco's way of telling me not to see him as a child anymore, but the man he's slowly turning into, with me vice versa.
Beyond the line we'd set in our relationship.
Beyond best friends.
Was that a hint?
A/N
Great thanks to xXMiss Alec VolturiXx, Baba78, NinjaHair, Kitkatcyn, Jen bbe, UltimateLoveStorys and Totally Crazy and Hyper for the reviews! - You guys are awesome and welcome new reviewer! X3-
Kitkatcyn – Depends on situation, I think he will. He's a leader after all, he had to make his stand clear. XD
NinjaHair- Somehow Draco Malfoy's bad boy image reminds me of Spike in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. LOL
Jenbbe – I don't think it'll be anytime soon, since I wouldn't like them to rush into things too quickly, but there'll always be LexixDraco moments all along. XD
Reviews Greatly Encouraged! Make a Writer Feel Appreciated~! *Wink**Wink*