Every time one of his captors said the word orphanage, Light imagined a stinky rut of a hovel, a picture from his Geography textbook, a glorified mud cottage.

Orphanages in Shingata, like most other enterprises for the underprivileged, weren't particularly well-funded, and the private ones could only go so far without the backing of a noble. It hurt Light's overly charitable heart. He wanted Shingata to take care of its suffering citizens, goddamn it. If he could take all the money from the nobles and distribute it among the poor Robin Hood style, he would.

So yeah, he didn't expect an anarchist-managed institution to be anything more than a hole in the wall. Not in a million years.

"And we can share L's cheesecake with the orphans!" Misa squealed loudly, her tip of the spoon cold against his lip, yellow cake wobbling on it. Light blinked awake. Was she still here? It seemed he was getting used to her if he had learnt how to zone out of her gratingly loud voice. The last he remembered had been her reattaching the long handcuff to his shackled wrists and start on a long tirade about how bright the orphans were.

Obediently, he opened his mouth and let her feed him. Everyone except Misa had disembarked to get the place ready to confine him, with Mello being in charge of fetching them when they were done. They had been pretty transparent about their intentions: they were keeping him inside their secret base, which just so happened to be a home full of particularly intelligent children from all over the slums of Shingata.

It looked like they had no qualms about allowing him to stay at their main base and listen to their plans, even if they did slip into codes sometimes. It was a point in their favour, their trusting him in that minor way, because as far as he knew they weren't stupid. All the evidence pointed to them telling the truth.

It made sense. The timeline of their story coincided with Mikami's surgery on him. Maybe some part of it had been botched, and rather than explain it to him, the doctor had concluded that the poor soft mate would handle it badly. So he had concocted a conspiracy wherein everyone in his family and friend circle had been informed not to mention anything about that time he had been missing for half a year.

He wouldn't put it past him. His fiancé had always underestimated him, and Light's father would certainly give his consent to anything that involved keeping him under further restrictions.

Perhaps he should stay with these people longer, learn more about his previous life…

Light blinked, startled by the phrasing of his thoughts. Previous life? He was being ridiculous! And if there was any chance of this conspiracy being true, he would deal with it by confronting Mikami, not by talking to his insane kidnappers.

He'd have to use the cellphone in his pants first, get to a safe spot to hide away and make a quick call, give them something to work with to track him down.

"That's why we'll have so much fun being handcuffed together!" Misa declared suddenly, and without warning, she shoved another spoonful of cheesecake into his mouth. Light choked, caught off guard, prompting a shocked gasp from the model.

"Sorry, Raito-kun!" She screeched. "Misa will get some water!" Light nodded frantically, coughing, focussing on swallowing the pasty lump that had gone down the wrong way.

"No need for that." A deep monotone came from the front of the van and Light almost fell into a new bout of coughing just to escape this. "I have brought some."

L, the master of foresight, stood with a large bottle of water in his hand, slumping over towards them. "Watari has declared Raito-kun's rooms safe for confinement, I have come to-oops." His hand accidentally-on-purpose knocked over a backpack from the pile that always stood inside the van.

Bright pink and glittering with sequins, it was obvious whose backpack it was, and predictably, Amane Misa hadn't zipped it. She shrieked as it spewed its contents onto the floor of the van and instinctively let go of Raito, diving to save her belongings. "No! Misa's makeup! She won't get any for two months!"

L approached Light, crouching beside him and holding the water bottle to his lips. Desperately, Light drank the water, thanking his lucky stars that it had been slippery cheesecake instead of candy or one of Sayu's jawbreakers.

When L finally pulled back, Light rolled his eyes, his wrist twinging with pain where he instinctively tried to raise his hand to wipe his mouth. "You sure took your own sweet time with that."

The detective grinned. "I apologise, Raito-kun. Are you alright?"

"I'm about as fine as can be, I guess." He shrugged. "Are you going to take me inside now?"

"Yes, that is what I was sent for-" The detective paused, eyeing Misa. Light glanced over at her, watching her struggle to reach the lipsticks that had rolled too far out of her grasp, straining against the handcuff. L smirked wryly, and Light raised his eyebrows. This man was plotting something, and by the looks of it, Misa wasn't going to like it.

"Amane-san? Do you need some help?" L asked tauntingly.

Misa fluttered her eyelashes beseechingly at him. "L-san, Watari-san won't allow Misa to spend any money on makeup for the next two months, so if Misa loses any she's going to be short for ages! She can't bear that! Please, L-san, pick them up for her!"

L raised his eyebrows. "Amane-san wants me to do her work for her?"

Light was starting to pick up on the plan. He grinned. "L-san, you're the one who dropped the backpack." He said in a sickly-sweet honeyed voice, and was immediately struck through with a murderous glare.

Misa perked up at his words. "Exactly! L-san did it, so L-san should pick it up!"

The detective crossed his arms, his glower unwavering from where it was burning a hole into Light. "Amane-san, I have a lot of work to do. I have to untie Raito-kun and restrain him in his room, and after that I have to proceed with my investigation into Near. So, if you don't mind…" He ducked over quick as a flash, his fluffy hair pushed into Light's face as he reached across him into Misa's pocket and drew a small key from it. Light took a deep whiff, his hair smelled like vanilla cake.

The detective grabbed Misa's wrist and unlocked the handcuff from around it. The model squealed her displeasure. "L-san! Don't invade Misa's space like that!"

Light almost laughed. That was rich coming from her. He still remembered the party, where Misa had practically molested him and led to Mikami locking him in his bedroom for the rest of the night.

"Here you go. Pick up your things. I shall proceed with my work." L quickly crouched by Light's feet, using the key bunch he had apparently retrieved from Mello to unlock the restraints at his ankles and gently pull them off. The brunet relaxed his legs, separating them and relishing in the movement.

Misa huffed and trotted off, grabbing her lipsticks and eyeliners from the nooks and crannies they had rolled off into. Light watched her for a bit, then noticed L staring at him unblinkingly, sitting right in between his spread legs. The detective didn't seem to intend on untying Light's hands, crouching on the balls of his feet and leaning forward.

From this angle, it looked like he was going to kiss him.

The brunet raised his eyebrows, realising he wasn't all that repelled by that idea. Despite his weirdness, L was attractive in his own way. Except…he couldn't have this. The last thing he needed was to encourage such invasive behaviour from his kidnapper.

The detective's face was so close now, he could strike him right in the jaw from this position. It would be so satisfying to see that purple bruise blooming on his jawline…

The detective cocked an eyebrow. "I'll have you know I have learnt Capoeira, Raito-kun. Don't try to kick me."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes. So if you would-" L shrank sharply to the side, avoiding Light's foot. The brunet drew his leg back and tried again, managing to knock him on the nose.

"Haha! Fuck you! You don't tell me what to do-" Was all Light managed before L swept his foot in an arc, hitting his temple and sending him careening into the ground. The teenager moaned with pain, writhing.

L pursed his lips. "Are you okay, Raito-kun?"

"Does it look like I'm fucking okay?" He hissed through his teeth. "How is this a fair fight? My hands are literally tied behind my back!"

"I told you not to kick me." The detective mumbled.

"Hey, don't hurt my Raito! Get lost, Misa will bring him!" Misa yelled, trotting forward with her arms full of makeup products she stuck back into her bag.

"Your Raito? Are you trying to steal my boyfriend, Amane-san?" L asked sagely, and the model stopped dead.

"What? Misa would never-!" The model protested as Light simultaneously snapped "I'm not your boyfriend."

"Because it sure seems that way, considering you have handcuffed yourself to him and are trying to turn him against me." The detective droned, biting his thumb. Light scoffed, flicking his head to get his long fringe out of his eyes.

"The handcuffs aren't even her fault. What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Exactly!" Misa twittered. "Raito-kun said it exactly right!"

"I thought you had changed, Amane-san. I thought you had put your evil days behind you." L shook his head morosely. The model squawked, horrified.

"Misa didn't do anything, L-san! Misa only wants to follow Watari-san's orders and keep an eye on her Raito-"

"Unfortunately, Misa-san, I do not believe you for an instant." L said, squatting down beside where Raito had fallen. "And so, I'm sure you will understand my taking measures to stop you from stealing away the love of my life."

"Misa didn't do anything-" She cut herself off when L picked up the end of the long handcuff that Misa had discarded by Light's side. Her hazel eyes widened. "L-san, what are you doing-?"

"I hope you will understand my motives behind this, and will not involve unnecessary people such as Watari into this situation." L, resolutely, clicked the handcuff locked around his own wrist.

"But L-san, Watari-san said-"

"If you tell on me, Amane-san…" The key shone small and silver between his long, pale fingers. He held it up in front of his face. "If you tell on me, Amane-san, I will swallow the key."

"What the fuck?" Light yelped. The detective stifled a smile, and he felt like kicking him again.

"I am childish and hate to lose. So what will it be? Will you involve Watari or will you just let this go?"

Misa gaped blankly at him, and abruptly stomped her foot to the ground, aggravated. "Ugh! This is so unfair! Misa just wanted to spend some time with her Raito!" She turned on her heel, throwing the van doors open as she stomped out. L finally allowed his grin to break free.

"Justice always prevails." He whispered under his breath. Light burst out laughing.

Sayu Yagami had never been so afraid in her life.

Was this how her brother had lived, months ago? Had he just migrated from cinderblock house to cinderblock house as he tried to stay alive? Were his friends all slum rats? Had he really hated his life so much that he had stooped to this to escape it?

Sayu couldn't understand it. Mikami had to have been torturing him for him to choose this nomadic existence over the life of a noble.

Sayu sighed as she held her pepper spray tightly in her hand.

She remembered the last time she had talked to her brother, her actual brother, the one who hated them all, who hated her. He had been zip-tied to the metal frame of his bed like a lunatic on suicide watch, in a skimpy hospital gown that only reached his knees and a entirely blanked expression, only his sharp amber eyes conveying the absolute loathing he felt for each of them.

They had told her not to visit, but how could she not? She hadn't seen him for months, her mother hadn't seen him for longer than that, they had all thought he was dead. Sachiko had had an emotional breakdown, Sayu was failing all her classes, their father…their father hadn't come home from work for sixty days and counting. She had to see him, she had to see that he was alive and okay, she had to see it.

But, of course, it had been a mistake.

His usually perfectly groomed auburn hair was shaggy and overlong, falling messily over his forehead, his nails were digging into his skin so deep that the blood coated his palm, smeared over the bedframe, his jaw gritted tight enough for her own teeth to ache in sympathy.

His eyes were fixed on the ceiling, tracing the cracks and slathers of paint, but she knew he was watching her. He hadn't spoken to anybody since they rescued him from the anarchists he had been with, but…but she was his little sister. He was her brother, he would speak to her, she knew it. Mikami knew it too. Even though his father had driven them apart with his decision, even though they hadn't properly spoken for years, he would speak to her. She was the only one who understood him, after all.

"Onii-chan?" She'd started hesitantly, but he had turned his face away, shutting his eyes. She almost drew back, hurt, before she realised what the problem was.

Her mother realised it in the same instant. "Raito, don't tell me to leave, I haven't seen you for so long!"

Sayu touched her mother's arm reassuringly. "It's okay, Okaa-san. He'll come around. It's only for now."

To her shock, rather than just quietly leave as she usually did, Yagami Sachiko burst into loud, violent tears. "Please, Raito! I'm sorry! You don't know how sorry I am!"

Raito let out a quiet breath, as if she was trying his patience. Sayu was almost irritated with him, almost, before she remembered where she was. "Okaa-san, just go. It'll be fine."

Sachiko let out a shaky sob and stood up ramrod straight, mincing her steps as she walked out without another word.

Sayu had been watching her leave, wondering how she was going to fix this at home, when she heard Raito's quiet whisper.

"Do you know what they're going to do to me?"

Sayu turned back to look at him. His voice was raspy, his face pale, eyes squeezed shut. She knew that expression well, looking down at his hands and finding that, unsurprisingly, he had scratched out new cuts in his palm, the blood now dripping down his wrist onto the bedclothes.

The brunette sighed, wrapping her hands around his and twisting his fingers straight. "Who do you mean? The anarchists?"

"No." He chuckled bitterly. "No, it's not the anarchists, obviously." He shook his head, looking away. "It's so hard to talk to you now."

Sayu blinked, hurt. He had never said that before. Even in their angriest moments, even when they thought they would hate each other forever, they had never said anything like that. They were a pair, a team. Even if they hadn't been on speaking terms for the longest time, they could still read each others' minds, right? "I haven't met any anarchists, Onii-chan. I don't know what trauma you've been through. If you just explain-"

"I haven't been through any trauma but the kind you people have put me through." He gritted out. "Do you know what I was doing for all these months?"

Sayu shook her head. "No, but I always got it in my head that you ran away to start your own detective agency." She smiled shakily. "You know, because of what happened with Otou-san…"

Light turned to her, eyes lit up with surprise for once. "That's…that's actually pretty accurate." Sayu let her smile grow. "But that's not all."

The girl frowned. "Yeah, Otou-san was saying you were rescued from an abandoned warehouse-"

"I was consorting with anarchists."

It took a minute to sink in, but when it did Sayu choked, leaping to her feet. "Onii-chan, you can't be serious! Consorting with…with anarchists? With terrorists? How could you-?"

"It's not half as bad as you think." Light whispered. "I didn't kill anyone, Sayu. They didn't kill anyone. They're good people-"

"Bullshit!" Sayu yelped. "How can a terrorist be a good person?"

"But not all anarchists are terrorists, Sayu!" Light said earnestly. "Don't you remember how the outlawing started during the war? How they hunted down almost half the non-nobles in law enforcement because of circumstantial evidence? They convicted people with vague associations to terrorists, all of those innocent people are on the run from the law, don't you get it? It's not fair to-"

Sayu covered her face with her palm. "Raito…"

His jaw snapped shut, his eyes turning stony. "I should have known you wouldn't understand. There's no point talking to you."

"No, Raito. I understand. I get it, I get what you're feeling." She licked her lips. "But...it's against the law."

"It is." Light smiled ruefully. "Life imprisonment for anarchy, and twenty years with parole for any noble who consorts with them."

Twenty years? Sayu froze in shock. "N-no. Raito…" She covered her mouth with her hand. "No, Raito, you…you can't…t-twenty years?" She'd be thirty-six. Raito would be nearly forty. "Raito, I won't let you, Otou-san won't let you! He wouldn't, it would tarnish the family honour! He'll keep you out somehow, I know he will! Raito-"

"You're right, Sayu."

The girl paused. "What?"

Light blew out a tired sigh. "You're right. Otou-san won't let me ruin the family honour."

She blinked, wondering if she should feel relieved. It sounded like good news, but why did Raito look so sad? "B-but Raito…"

An ironic smirk twisted the brunet's lips. "He's not going to let me go to jail."

"T-that's great!" Sayu felt uneasiness pool in her stomach. "That's awesome…isn't it?"

"Yeah. Yeah, it's great. It's…" He swallowed. "It's amazing."

"Raito…" Sayu watched as her brother's eyes glimmered with tears. A stab of fear went through her. Raito didn't cry, she had never seen him cry for anything. He had been through so much more than her and he hadn't cried once. "Raito, what's wrong? I...how can I-"

The brunet didn't answer, looking away. The tears fell down his cheeks, marking glittering trails. "Raito, please, what can I do? I want to help."

"Go away." He bit out. "Go away or I'll scream and make you go."

"Onii-chan, why…?" Sayu felt tears of her own pool in her eyes. She refused to leave. She refused. "What happened? Please tell me, I can help, I swear!"

"I'll scream, I mean it." His voice was thick, his nails tearing his skin apart. He would get scabs, an infection, she went to pry them away but he flinched. "I mean it, Sayu, go!"

"No!" She stood her ground. "I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong!"

She could see the loathing again. Deep inside his eyes, coiled like a snake with poisonous fangs. "Stay, then." His cheeks were blotchy red, his jaw clenched obstinately. "Stay and rot in hell."

She had stayed for hours. She'd tried everything to make him talk, but if there was one thing she knew, there was no changing Raito's mind once he'd made it up. It was a family trait.

Except, that wasn't entirely true. There were ways to change his mind, there were ways to fix everything. Her father and Mikami knew that well.

The next time she saw Raito his smile had been warm and friendly, no loathing in sight, a linen bandage wrapped tightly around the crown of his head.

Sayu bundled herself tighter into her blanket, squeezing her eyes shut. Her cellphone was right next to her, ready for an emergency call, all of the training she had gone through at the self-defence workshop at the forefront of her mind.

She wasn't going to let it happen again. This time, she would find her Onii-chan, and she would save his life, whether he liked it or not.

Sayu curled up and rested her blistering feet in a warehouse in East Shingata, her hand wrapped firmly around her pocketknife.

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A/N: extra long chapter because of the extra long wait (again!)! Review and comment!